[Issue 42] Treasures of the Archives: The Top 20

[hogree 4,179]

 

A bottomless gold mine; a refrigerator after your Mum's been to the supermarket; a tub of chocolates stuffed right to the brim. Three metaphors that cannot even begin to describe the glory that is the Newspaper Archives. In this article flashing back to some of the greatest works ever published in the Newspaper, it's time to recognize the picks of the bunch.
 
After 3 years of sweat, blood and tears, slaving away (ish) in this historic team, I'm to be retiring from my position this month. It's been an absolute blast and I'm gutted that I no longer have the time available to spend time here but to crown it off, I thought it fitting to go back and look over what in my mind are the greatest articles to have been published in the paper.
 
I can't even begin to say how tough the job was in front of me. Articles stretching way back well into 2012 from the pens of writers such as skitee and chriswu, through the guides of the dominant Ranger7 and loktinho, the story-era of Fjelstad1678 and SwagBoy11, coming into the modern-day Newspaper dominated by more familiar faces such as Remaine and GoldRock. As someone who has gone through the times with several different colleagues who have specialized in different areas, it's been even more difficult to pick out what I feel are the best pieces to be published over the years. But after looking through each of the articles once again on a wonderful trip down Memory Lane, I have my picks. I hope you'll enjoy reading them as much as I did. Let's get going.
 
Oh, and each of the titles are linked to the articles, for viewing ease. Have a glance, read at your own will. Believe me, all of these are well worth it.
 
20. What makes a i3rilliant username?
 
A recent piece by Remaine, this sneaks into the top 20 primarily for its original and particularly insightful pitch on an issue that meets us across the entire Internet. Rem brings to light the different factors in the monumental decision that comes when you pick any form of username over the Web. Particularly applicable to the richer members of the English Community able to pick in with the increasing trend of changing nickname hitting the game.
 
19. The Dictator - Tanki's Finest News Source
 
The Dictator also just about deserves a spot in the top 20. Created as a monthly column by stalwart reporter GoldRock, the Dictator was a hit among many members of the English Community due to its humorous and relatable, if not relevant take on each month. Although it never gained overly praiseworthy comments, it thrived during its early days and the linked episode is indeed the second publication of the Dictator which in my eyes was the best. Although it was certainly challenged by other memorable humorous articles such as the Ten Commandments of Tanki and the recent Top Ten Tanki: Thuglife, the Dictator deservedly grabs a place in the top 20.
 
18. What to mount on: Hornet
 
Another series by GoldRock which received fabulous feedback over its time and in many ways was a solid foundation to the Newspaper during its rise after the slump of early 2014. Although all articles in the series were well worth reading (you'll be able to find them in the Archives), Hornet was perhaps the most memorable due to its controversial nature as the by far most popular and probably most versatile hull in the game. The series was taken over by the able kirby2008 for the uncompleted heavy hulls after GoldRock's unexpected departure and was smartly finished off. An applicable series for readers of every calibre, its wide audience and simple layout won it top reviews.
 
17. How to Mitigate Lags
 
Putting this in the top 20 is perhaps one of the more dubious decisions in this list. Published by TNT in his first issue just a couple of months ago, I was blown away by the quality at which a topic which yelled boredom at the reader was brought across, and although perhaps less original than other pieces to hit the Newspaper and going slightly under the radar, this article well deserves its position in my book. Don't expect a detailed guide on how to update your computer systems - a humorous and yet informative take on a crucial subject.
 
16. The Story Behind the Colours: Tiger
 
To say this is the only story which managed to make my top 20 is surely due praise for what to me was a memorable, memorable story produced by the absolutely dirt-quality story-writing pen of Kevred. Detailing the fictional origin of the paint Tiger, Kevred's ability to build a plot with an incredible climax still holds me in awe. Although the entire series was superb, this has to be the greatest. Oh, and if you're wondering why I only put one story into the top 20, read on - hopefully, it might make sense by the end of the list.
 
15. Parkour Guides: Skylark, Red Alert
 
Ilia.ArchangeI's role in the newspaper is often forgotten in his illustrious career as a community member, but his V-LOGs - and particularly his Parkour Guides - were superb videos published each month as a part of the Newspaper. An original idea, his translation of the Russian parkour guides were precise and allowed English viewers to share in the plethora of Russian content that had been left in the dark for a long long time. This episode was the first to be published and a great hit with the implementation of videos into the newspaper for one of the first times gaining much positive feedback.
 
14. Predictions for 2013 - Part One!
 
Largely forgotten and certainly under the radar, the Predictions Series of Issue 6-8 were memorable and absolutely superb pieces from the pen of skitee during his peak as a reporter. Superbly implemented humour into an entrancing exaggerated bunch of predictions for the coming year, it followed his original Predictions which had been published at the end of 2011 before the Newspaper was first implemented - an absolute hit in the community at time of publication. The 2013 edition was equally good, if not better, and was in my book the greatest humour piece in the history of the paper.
 
13. The Secrets of Tanki: Unlocked
 
A very recent piece from the indomitable Fen-Harel and his illustrious colleague GoldRock, the Secrets of Tanki Unlocked was a complete and quite mind-blowingly detailed piece on the rather daunting topic of science in Tanki. Summed up in a not-too-heavy way, it is a surprisingly interesting read and certainly an original and memorable piece to grace the paper.
 
12. The Generalissimo's Handbook - Month 2
 
Only introduced to the paper a few months ago, The monthly Handbook, started up by Fen-Harel and I, has filled up the gaping absence of much-needed advanced tips to the Newspaper over recent times. Like the Dictator, although it was never an absolute hit, the Handbook was always appreciated by the community and the input of Generalissimos in the community as well as the superb videos made it a special part of the history of the Newspaper.
 
11. Behind the Tank: conanthedestroyer
 
Inserting an interview into this list may be a controversial decision, but this one was special. An interview with the man himself at the top of the food chain, it went deeper than interviews before and set a new bar to the popular newspaper contribution. Insightful and very very very interesting, a very worthy read.
 
10. Dissected: Thunder
 
We get down to old-fashioned Guides as we reach the top 10 and this is an absolute treat. Kirby's complete analysis of one of the most popular weapons over the complete range of the game is quite simply superb. Covering all bases, probably defines in-depth and gives some interesting tips in Kirby's extremely readable style. Definitely worth the full fifteen minutes reading.
 
9. Explained: Gold Hunting
 
For me, this is one I didn't expect before I did research for this article to include in this list but it really does deserve this high position. A stand-out superb piece by S.C.Y.T.H.E, the guide goes into the ins and outs of Gold Hunting and shows several different techniques to get these greatly-coveted boxes. Possibly one of the most applicable things to be published in the Newspaper, a MUST-READ for all aspiring Gold Hunters.
 
8. Why are XP Battles so popular?
 
Published during the Non-Issues era of the Newspaper, the detail in this piece by GoldRock is simply outstanding. Giving a complete list of reasons as to the success of XP Battles, in true GoldRock fashion, an entrancing read. Superb. The only reason this didn't go higher is because it doesn't really have that much applicability into battle - however, the sheer beauty of the article more than makes up for that. Well worth the read if you haven't.

 

7. Maps That Once Were
 
Another beauty, Maps That Once Were was an ancient piece by skitee which has left a legacy on to this day in the Archives. Going through the famous maps which once graced the game of old, it even encouraged Remaine to do a second edition of it in recent times. If you wanted a definition for interesting, this is a good shout. With skitee's superb writing-style combined with a fantastic topic, well worth a read.
 
6. Comparison: Twins or Ricochet?
 
If you were to get into an argument with me about the best series to grace the newspaper, for me, it'd have to be this one. From Kirby2008, a topic that I would never have thought of and yet is so so so applicable to Tanki players of all shapes and sizes. Although I picked Twins vs Ricochet, the other three pieces (Smoky or Thunder, Railgun or Shaft and Firebird or Freeze) are all well well worth the read. Combining graphics, stats and a superb superb topic, this well deserves its position. Would recommend to everyone.
 
5. Mastering your Tanki Keyboard
 
Personally, if I had to judge all of my articles, this would be my pick of the bunch. An original idea, garnished with a pile of picture-editing and a surprising influence on my own game. This article was probably one of my most "worth-it" writes, in my book. Such a big issue that's barely covered in the game - controlling your tank on the most obvious level. Not trying to be arrogant or anything, but this was a decent article.
 
4. Bombing Raids in Tanki Online
 
Possibly a bit of a wildcard in the top 4, but this breaks through in the style that it deserves. Valletta was always a talented reporter who brought that touch of style to the newspaper but this was a special piece. With original ideas combined with expertly-created graphics, using a mine has never looked so fun. Simply class.
 
3. The Comprehensive Guide to XP Battles
 
Perhaps a bit peripheral in its delving into the XP World in comparison to GoldRock's effort previously, but this was a memorable guide, even though I do say it myself. The use of the acrostic went down extremely well and created an interesting element to an article already crammed full of information. Not sure, but I think that including the guide's posting a few months later on the main page, it may have received the most up-votes an article has ever got... don't hold me to that though.
 
2. A Shopper's Guide to the Rebalance
 
For me, this will always go down as the most impressive thing I have ever seen in the Newspaper. ShadowVisions was a mighty fine reporter and always produced quality in his time here, but this was a level above. The groundbreaking Rebalance, dismantled so expertly and clearly - a sight to behold. Absolutely superb. Although there's been tons of change since the rebalance of December 2012 and thus the article may not be so applicable these days, the theory behind it can still be admired.
 
1. The Complete History of Tanki
 
Tough choice to give this top decision. In truth, The Complete History of Tanki was never posted in the newspaper - the title of each of the episodes may ring true with you readers, however, as In the Beginning, Tanki. Started off as just a simple thought that looking at history in Tanki might be an interesting idea - in the end, the whole thing amounted to over 30,000 words. Although perhaps not the greatest in writing quality, the length and detail of this particular series warrants it the coveted Number One spot. If you've never read it, I can assure you that if anything you should find it interesting. My personal top choice.
 

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Several articles deserve mention that didn't make the cut: works such as DMs for Dummies, Birth of a Tank, The Ten Commandments of Tanki, The Art of Kill Stealing, The life of a Reporter: Behind the Scenes, The Secret of the Lost Temple, Combo of the Month - Twins-Hornet: In Practice, The Map Awards 2014, How to Jump, The Ultimate Guide to Isida, Ranks: Tanki and the Real World, The Evolution of the Product Kits, The Side of Tanki You Never Knew, History of the Gold Box, The Crisis, Becoming a Tanki Pro, the Smoky XT Chronicles, Railgun: for the Pro, Top Ten Tanki: Thuglife - Oh, and I forgot the best of all. Eating Chicken. And there are many many others, all avaiable in the Archives.

 

Do have your own say below. I'd be interested if you think I've missed any stalwarts out or if you see any misjudgements in the list.

 

So, guys. This is it. Don't really know what to say. Hope you enjoyed the list. Memories for some; delving into a new world for others. For me, it really is like family. I'm gonna miss you.

Edited October 16, 2015 by Lhamster

[Quarks 2,255]

Well done Hog, you will surely be a missed reporter. I am happy to say that I only have not read 5 of these. Well done Hog.

[canadarules 1,938]

A bottomless gold mine; a refrigerator after your Mum's been to the supermarket; a tub of chocolates stuffed right to the brim.

i couldn't read more after this :X didn't want to be let down

[13rilliant 8]

Nice job Hog, you will be missed.

[Hex 11,520]

Nice article, keep it up!

You, your golds, your so 'so-called' Gold Hunter of the EN Forum and much more! Cya ;)

[lukey0 27,543]

I have to agree on most of those.

 

And the Guide to Eating Chicken, what was i3rillient. :LOL:

[sha77777_super 877]

Good Luck Hog!!!!! ;)

I will miss you and your chickens a lot :*

[momy950666 960]

nice and bye hog

good luck in real life ;)

Edited October 18, 2015 by momy950666

[Natey16 2]

Thanks for all the excellent, humorous and chickeny articles you've written for the TO community. Of all the reporters, you are one of my favorites. You will be missed by 100% of all tankers. Have a great time just playing now. Best of luck later in life.

 

-Your adoring reader, Natey16 :(

Edited October 23, 2015 by Natey16

[asifmehmood 1,576]

OMG u leaving :(

[ScoopArtZ 44]

OMG Baye :'(