[Story] Immune (Chapter 13)

[Kuhaku 87]

Hello, this is I_Am_Unkonw, and finally, after a week long break, here is the next chapter of my story, Immune.

 

 

 

Index

 

Prologue + Chapter 1

Chapter 2 + Chapter 3

Chapter 4 + Chapter 5

Chatper 6 + Chapter 7

Chapter 8 + Chapter 9 + Chapter 10

Chapter 11 + 12

 

 

 

Chapter 13

 

For the next three years, we stayed hiding in the Ghost. Every day, Hailey and I would have intense training from everything from sword fighting, to shooting a bow and arrow, to learning how to play chess to pass time. We both learned and practiced to become very good swimmers, we learned how to climb ropes, start fires, and other life saving skills, all to have even the slightest chance of defeating Commander Sarinthious.

 

Our weapons, White Light and Dark Vortex, slowly became not just a part of us, but a part of each other. Of course, we mainly focused on our own weapon, but both of us learned how to use each other’s weapons.

 

Hailey became so accurate, she was able to pick an apple off my head from half a mile away. As it turned out, an arrow that was shot from her bow could travel for almost three miles, an incredible, as well as an impossible distance. But Hailey said that all Yusvengal weapons could do impossible feats. Another amazing thing about Hailey’s White Light was that the bow could even produce a blinding white light, that could blind an opponent if needed.

 

My Dark Vortex impressed me everyday, with it becoming a part of me, I needed to know exactly how to use each of its features as though I had been using it all my life. It was so sharp that I once accidentally dropped it on the floor, and it made a hole through the hardened wood, as well as the next two stories below. The farmer and I worked together to create a scabbard hard enough to be able to safely store Dark Vortex. In addition to its incredible sharpness, it never dulled, I used it to chop wood, and yet it never ceased to cut through the pieces of wood like butter.

 

Another thing that Dark Vortex could do was that it could, well, suck light up. If I were to just think of all the light in a ten meter radius around me, it would get trapped in the blade of my sword. Basically, if I wanted it, I could control the amount of light in a ten meter radius. In addition to this, if I didn’t want the light, I could just store it for later. Eventually, I made a special type of lense that would be able to start a fire from just the light that was emitted from Dark Vortex’s blade. I found the name quite fitting.

 

Each day, Hailey and I would sword fight with wooden swords to help keep our minds sharp. Three times a year, on the farmer’s birthday, Hailey’s and mine, we would bake a special type of cake that was able to create happy thoughts in our minds. Sort of like a drug, but very useful to help keep the dullness of our lives away. Life began to get quite boring, even with the monthly trips to the nearest village to see how the plague was, and if it had died down.

 

Eventually Hailey and I grew quite close. We grew fond of the time we spent during our daily sword fights, as with our monthly journeys to the village. Perhaps, I had thought at the time, maybe hopes of marriage was possible, but I was too shy to admit my feelings. But in any case, this would’ve been impossible looking back on it.

 

Even as I write this in the candlelight, with Hailey reading over what I have written. Her husband is not me, but a worthy king, a ruler for her kingdom. We’ve had many conversations of what we could’ve done differently, but we both agree that under the circumstances that had passed after we left the Ghost, I couldn’t have become king. Not because of her choice, but because of mine.

 

About three years after we arrived at the Ghost, I was now nineteen years old, Hailey was fifteen. We both knew had to use our weapons as though it was part of us. We believed that we had mastered our weapons to the fullest extent, but we were wrong, and this deadly mistake cost us.

 

 

Anybody wanna guess how the story will play out? If you guess right, I'll give you a special preview of chapter 14!

Edited April 18, 2017 by Kuhaku

[Yisroel.Rabin 16,224]

EDITS

 

- "...Hailey and I would have intense training to from everything from sword fighting, from to shooting a bow and arrow"

- "...and other life saving skills., all to have even the slightest chance of defeating Commander Sarinthious."
- "...Our weapons, White Light and Dark Vortex, slowly became not just a part of us,"

- "accidently accidentally"

- "journeies journeys"

- Reworded sentence: 2

 

- Edited formatting

  - Organized index

  - Gave font (Trebuchet MS)

  - More

 

 

FEEDBACK

 

Great chapter, you're getting better and better at writing as you go. The story's getting more interesting as well, and I really like the in-depth explanation of the weapons. Perhaps some day you can apply that skill to an in-game guide, or something.

 

Also, I advise you pick a set format, such as the one I've just set up for you here, and stick with it. For your next chapter, edit your post (viz. above), copy and paste everything from this topic into a new one, and replace the 13 with 14, along with the text with the text of chapter 14.

 

Another note, for the index, keep doing what I did with it, and instead of saying "Chapter X: long URL", just say "Chapter X" and hyperlink it. If you don't know how to hyperlink, just ask.

 

 

English meme

 

[Kuhaku 87]

 

 

 

 

 

 

JK, thanks I understand Yisroel.Robin. Thanks for the great tips and I'll make sure to copy the formatting as well as the tip on hyperlinks!

 

Thanks very much!