The Leaky Mult #3 - St Valentine's Day 2018

Merovingian · February 12, 2018

"You can laugh about everything but not with everyone," ~ Pierre Desproges

Note for paranoids, very serious peoples and YouTuber's fans: This is a work of F.I.C.T.I.O.N. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents either are the products of the authors' ~~noob and overdrived~~ imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. This is not a witch-hunt neither a personal Vendetta.

Edito
Happy Valentine's day Tanki-girls and Tanki-boys,

Another festive season has arrived once again, with its share of special activities, sales and other goodies that Tanki stew to perfection to our delight: Saint Valentine’s day (SVD). This event is yet another opportunity offered by the developers, to spread love and mushiness in the game. Make sure you had lots of it as it will not last long. The shadow of war is upon us.

Tanki created a brand-new weapon, the missile M4jH0L-AFG (a.k.a. Momo), loaded with the most destructive explosive known to Tanki scientist: the NanoMox7. This weaponry is unique and only one community can acquire it. Evidently every Community Manager (CM) desire it and started an internal squabbling to whom deserve it, triggering a revival of intercommunity resentments which was deeply buried and ignored for years. Despite that the matter could be easily solved through diplomacy, each CM is currently preparing for the unthinkable – War. Unless a compromise is reached during SVD, the whole Tanki community might be drawn on the brink of war after a long time of peace. Tankers cross our fingers, spreads the love and hope for the termination of this grudge between the CMs. Meanwhile, let’s go back to the present elated time and the freshest edition of the TLM that will enlighten your day.

In this new edition we have the pleasure to publish articles from 2 new brave writers: GrandExecutioner and mydoom.exe. Seriously imprudent, nonetheless valiant tankers, not afraid of writing under their real nickname. May, Vulcan, the Tanki god of Longevity (Live Long and Prosper) and Isida, Tanki god of Health, be with them in this new path to The Truth (2 capitals T).

GrandExecutioner makes his first appearance, and not the last, with 2 articles. One about a terrible truth and the other about Saint Valentine’s day and the never-ending search of The Girlfriend.

Mydoom.exe comes along as a guest writer and a deeply romantic human being. He could not resist the urge and opportunity to express his unfathomable thoughts about what Love is! The result is shocking yet awing.

Unfortunately, this time there is no article from Illuminati and you will see in one of the segments below why. You will also see a small accurate coverage of the Tanki Awards 2017 from Merovingian.

Grab a pack of Oreos and good reading!

⚔ Concerns Over Reporters' Humour Leads To Shocking Discovery
by Grand Executioner

To fully explain how this article came to existence, I will need to start at the very beginning. An exposure article such as this cannot be rushed, so please bear with me. This will (I hope), paint a complete picture:

I was very much a newbie to The Leaky Mult and so, naturally, when I walked into the office on Monday morning, coffee in hand, I was met with cheers and applause. Unfortunately, due to my clumsy nature, I spilled the said coffee all over my shirt while trying to sit down at my new desk. An admirable start to the job.

I knew that for my first article, I had to prove myself and bring out the big guns...or turrets...or whatever...you get what I mean. The light bulb moment came while scrolling through the forum. Some reports of dissatisfied players emerged from the shadows of the community. It seems that a group of players (who have asked TLM to remain anonymous) have become unhappy with the humour of some Reporters. Supposedly, some readers of the newspaper believe that the standard of “funny” in certain articles has recently dropped.

Now, I could have overlooked this quite easily and put it down to the fact that we are in a time of different reporters- different styles...blah blah blah... but I couldn't accept this as the answer. I needed to find out the actual truth.

I got up dramatically from my chair and all heads turned to me, thinking I made some kind of a breakthrough. I had everyone's attention. Perfect. I asked out loud to the entire office if anybody wanted to accompany me in going to the Reporters' HQ to chase a lead. Unfortunately, the question was met with awkward silence. This was followed by some comments that went somewhere along the lines of “What do you want on your gravestone kid?” and “It's a shame - he looked like he had potential”. I'll admit, that didn't go exactly by to plan.

So on the first day of the job, I found myself travelling on a suicide mission to the Reporters' lair in the hope I could find an explanation to an unanswerable question. Easy peasy.

Well there I was, standing outside the huge golden gates with the bold letters “REPORTERS HQ” towering above me. Damn. There goes my excuse of “Sorry, wrong address” as a last-ditch attempt to get out of there. It was a trek to get to the mansion within the gates, owing to the acres of well-mown lawn around the building. When I did finally make it to the grand double doors, I noticed a sign. It read: No Visitors. Appointment with a Reporter must be made 1 month in advance. Payment in chicken only. I tried the door regardless. Locked.

I didn't come this far to turn back though, so instead of heading for the gates, I circled around the building until I found an open window, which I climbed through fairly easily. Security, as you'll soon find out, my dear readers, was shockingly bad. It seemed I was walking through endless corridors, until finally, I found a majestic door which read: Overlord's Office- Flexoo. I wasn't surprised to find the door unlocked as I turned the handle. It was common knowledge that all the Reporters were too scared of entering Flexoo's office out of fear of being sent to the “The Pit” (stay tuned for details coming in the next issue).

The office was empty. My eyes were instantly drawn to the TV screens showing CCTV footage that took up an entire wall. I could see Marc scoffing down some cookies in TV#11 and Destrod flipping a table in TV#6, in what I could only assume to be a tantrum about his missing cookies. Reluctantly, I took my eyes off the screens and made my way to the grand oak desk. There was some distilled potato juice on the side which I quickly slurped down. It seemed it wasn't just a trend in Tanki HQ. I turned on Flexoo's computer to find it unlocked (again not surprising) and checked his internet history. His most recent Google search was “How to get a girlfriend in Tanki?”. While amusing, I looked past it because I wasn't interested in what Flexoo spent his spare time doing.

Just then, an email popped up. It was titled, “Batch #76 is ready for instalment”. I noticed a vial on the desk near the mouse which was labelled #75. It seemed to contain a luminous blue liquid. Unfortunately, I heard voices outside the door, so I didn't have much time to investigate the office further. Instead, I quickly loaded a troll face meme on Flexoo's computer, snatched the vial and climbed out the window. When I reached the gates, I could just about hear some distant commotion. I grinned as I imagined Flexoo jumping up and down when he realised his office had been broken into. I wondered what he would be upset about the most. The missing vial, the troll face or the now empty distilled potato juice? Perhaps all three.

Once safely back, I sent the liquid to be analysed in an independent lab. Well ladies and gentlemen, the results are in. It turns out that the liquid is actually a stimulant designed to “get the creative juices” flowing in the brain. There's just one catch: the side-effects include decreased electrochemical signals in the part of the brain that, yes you guessed it, makes us funny!

Therefore, I have definitive proof to finally come to a conclusion. In order to improve the content and creativity of articles that the Newspaper team publishes, Flexoo has been injecting the Reporters with an experimental drug that has the unfortunate side-effect of reducing the humour of the person being injected. This has had a direct impact on the comedy of some content. In order to fix this problem, Flexoo is constantly having the drug altered in the hope that, one day, he can find his miracle cure!

I returned to the office, I shared my story, and my colleagues could only gape in awe before bursting out in laughter. I only later realised it was because the latest coffee stain on my shirt... looked like a chicken. That's fine. It's not like I was expecting a parade or something. ~~One day~~.

Thus, the mystery has been solved!

Tanki Forumer Awards 2017
By The Merovingian

This year, for the first time, on top of the usual Best Helpers of the Year award, our beloved brand-new Community Manager (CM), Nives, has decided to extend it to all Tanki players. Tankers who, with their own abilities and limited resources, helped the forum to be a better place for all. To thank them for this candid attitude, I would offer them a full pack of yummy Oreos, but unfortunately TLM is a bit on the rock at the moment as we are currently facing numerous and expensive lawsuits following our recent revelations and articles. Furthermore, Illuminati, TLM’s piggy bank, is in a secret mission in Rio following a lead to discover what happened to the K of Nives. Anyway, the heart is there, congratulations to those hard-working players.

Yet this is not all. In his awesome wisdom, the CM had another surprise in his helmet as he also introduced a new recognition concept: The Tanki Awards (TTA). This prize recognises the “Best Tankers” of the year in 6 defined categories among several players which were nominated by the different forum helpers’ lodges. The twist added to the TTA is that the players from the community itself will, by a voting system, decide who are the worthy winners.

Well, that was a very thoughtful and thought-provoking idea from the CM. However, the results were not withholding any surprise here… most of the winners were picked as predictably among the popular YouTubers gang. Let’s not linger on this YouTube bacchanalia and move on to a more exciting and interesting award which ran unnoticed the day prior the TTA ceremony.

Dear reader, I am talking about The Forumer Awards (also known as the Spammies). Whoop whoop!

The Spammie rewards the players that have done, by their activities and postings on the forum, just the opposite of what would a player be recognized as an outstanding helper (e.g. wasting helpers' time, consuming bandwidth and spreading inanities, and all of this in a joyous manner tied with no restraint). Several categories have been created to fully recognise the excellence in “forumic” achievements as assessed by the Spammies Academy's voting membership panel.

The voting members are part of a secretive circle comprised of Really Inspirational Peoples (RIP). I cannot say for sure who are these RIPs. However, an undisclosed source close to the circle (which not all silent as a grave) hushed several gentletankers’ name: Cedric Changerankashelikes, Maffiozo Lerigolo, Riddler Eight and Seann Scott. Sounds to me like a bunch of phony names use to hide their real nickname. We need to dig further with a deeper investigation to unearth the truth.

The awards themselves are sculptures in the form of a spud which is spray-painted gold. The valuable piece of art was designed by a very famous artist from Tanki Online: no other than Kirby - a talented ~~man~~ being to whom potatoes mean everything. This unique tuberous sculptures were manufactured in utmost confidentiality by Electrolux & Co: a company which also produces the top-quality tanks of TO with this great motto: “if your turret turns, it is not made by us”.

TML’s reporters were obviously invited to the ceremony to cover this classy soiree in a grand and derelict barn of Chernobyl. This year, we were very blessed to have the ceremony hosted by the two unmatched winners of the most prestigious Spammie: The Ultimate Spammer of the Year. I hereby present you with the omniscient and inexhaustible FBI (5-times winner), seconded by overdrived and prolific Darren4Turbo (2-times winner).

To complete the show, the Hammer-Sisters pop group performed live. Night-Sister, the lead vocalist of the band, displayed a great performance and set the room alight with the hit of the year: I Don't Feel Like Multin'. The previously apathetic audience got revived and was frantic to the rhythm of this entrancing tune, just like any Gold Box’s siren would do on any average mult.

As the ceremony progressed, the winners were announced. First, the less prestigious awards were handed out. And then at the end, at the apex of the party, the most coveted award of all. Without further ado, here are the results and the winners per category:

The Best Ideas & Suggestions Forumer – ENIGMA_8
The Best e-sport Forumer – TaHaYaNToDo
The Best Forumer Clan – Happy Dragon
The Best Parkour Forumer – DoNotParkourStunt
The Best Forum Game Forumer – darknessofshinningstar,
The Best Supporting Forumer – Coopero (I smell something fishy here)
The Most Promising Forumer – TSY_the_crazy
The Lady Forumer - Mikasa

And now what we all are waiting for, the best of the best, la crème de la crème, the award that clearly recognizes excellence in spamming:
The Ultimate ~~Forumer~~ Spammer – Adriel.RB

Our brave and dedicated reporters managed to catch some very inspirational words from Adriel.RB, who terminated the 2 year winning streak from Darren4Turbo: “Spin for 2 minutes and you get an earthquake experience for 1 minute!”. I have seriously no idea of what he was talking about, but who I am to understand a genius and true spammer master on his way to stardom? It’s a rhetorical question - I know who I am: a mult reporter of course.

We reached out to Coopero by the stage after she received her award and asked her how she managed to win an award that is solely given to ordinary players (not Helpers). She seemed uncomfortable and clung tighter to the golden spud, but then she suddenly raised her index finger and pointed to the back of the barn while shouting: “Look, a Gold Box is falling!”. Everybody instinctively turned to look in the designated direction, but we saw nothing apart from a shiny chandelier. As we turned back to face Coopero, she was… gone. We are still in wonder on what was that about?! Maybe she needed a new pair of glasses, as nobody reported any GB during the whole event, and this would explain her mysteriously low stats regarding the number of Gold Boxes caught which is [redacted] (Speed boost boxes are not Gold Boxes, k).

Overall it was an irradiating evening celebrating a solid year of "foruming" (an increase of post by 69%), and we are all looking forward seeing another one in 2018. Merovingian, reporting from the Spammies 2017, Chernobyl for the TLM. So long Mults…

⚔ Valentine's Day Creates Mass Epidemic Amongst Tankers
By Grand Executioner

It's Valentine's Day! For some lucky few, this day acts as the perfect excuse for bragging rights! Yet for most, today serves as a reminder that another year has passed, and your soulmate is nowhere to be seen.

This misery is particularly amplified in Tanki Online. The search for a Tanki Girlfriend has never been more intense than the days leading up to Valentine's Day. Today, Tanki players forget winning crystals and try to win the hearts of female tankers. Players all over the world can be found ditching clan wars and on the lobby chat in desperate attempts to find a Tanki Girlfriend. It has been categorised as an official epidemic by G.O.D.M.O.D.E (Global Official Disasters Monitored Online Daily Establishment).

Curious by this phenomenon, I asked Dr. Lovenives for his verdict. Here's what he says - please excuse his English (he's picked up some bad habits from his foreign Tanki Girlfriend):

"Hmph...yes, vwell iz no surprise. In de reel vorld, females outnumver males and iz no difficult much to find a girlvriend- esspesially vit these, vhat do yu call it, ahh yes, dating sites."

"In Tanki vowever, the populotion ov female Tankvers iz very low and require a lot ov attention so iz more hard to get a Tanki Girlvriend."

But don't despair Tankers! I've managed to track down a player who has been successful in getting a Tanki Girlfriend, and he has offered The Leaky Mult exclusive tips and advice. Because of fear his Tanki Girlfriend will read this article, he has asked to remain anonymous.

"The most important thing is to set yourself apart from the competition. When I first saw my future-girlfriend in battle, she was wearing the First Love paint to complement her sexy and slim Wasp figure. Loads of guys were trying to ask her out I wrote a love poem instead, then dropped a gold, killing everyone else, so she could take it. That led to our first date, which was a private walk through Forest.

Wha...Erm... no princess, I'm not talking to anyone. No, it's not another girl. You know I only have my turret pointed at you lovebug..."

At this point, I had to cut out some of the explicit language which may not be suitable for some of our younger Tankers. So, let's skip to the part where his girlfriend was out of the picture:

"The difficult part is keeping your Tanki Girlfriend. I buy my girlfriend a Teddy Bear Gift from the garage everyday with a different love poem, so she knows I think about her everyday. When in battle, be willing to make sacrifices and take the damage to protect her. Challenge anyone who insults her to a 1v1. Try not to drug too much, as ladies are put off by a "dangerous" lifestyle. Oh, and drop golds for her. Lots and lots of golds. "

Unfortunately, the interview was cut short when I joked about whether his girlfriend was a "gold digger", to which he responded by raging and challenging me to a 1v1.

Good Luck Tankers, and may Cupid be with you!

☠ What is Love?
By mydoom.exe

Well, what is it? It’s not simply a four letter word, not the meaning of life, and contrary to what everyone says, not the first feeling you experience when initially meeting @Yisroel.Rabin, although it’s pretty close to that. Love is an eternal sense – a pure, undiluted feeling of joy and longing for one’s beloved equal. It’s a precious gift given to us by God Himself, otherwise known as Maf.

Unfortunately, in this modern world, love’s true meaning has been corrupted by the Devil, otherwise known as Maf, to such a degree that people seriously believe that love at first sight is a reality, true love can be expressed to males and females, regardless of gender, and that simply meeting someone online can qualify as a sincere relationship. In reality, these are all sinful traits, and thus one will be punished in the next life for enacting them. Of course, there are other tainted definitions of love, but they’re minor (We can all forgive one for thinking they love @mydoom.exe, for instance), and so won’t be covered here.

First of all, love at first sight is nowhere near being a true, sincere kind of love. You can only really love someone at first taste. Think about it – how many times have you ever sat down to dinner and thought, “Man, I really love this chicken (otherwise known as Maf)”? That is true love right there: A glorious fusion between a person and their food. Now, you don’t actually need to eat your partner, or at least not whole, but if you honestly do wish to be united in mind and body with your significant other, then you should at least give them a little lick to see if you’re really meant for each other. Maybe even take a small nibble at their toenail or something like that if you’re feeling adventurous.

Second, true love can never be expressed to just anyone you like, male or female. It has to be a certain person. True love has to be true – one must never abandon their first tastes, unless they have fallen to the Satanic realm even after you’ve enlightened them. Furthermore, this is 2018 you actual caveman, why would you limit your options to just male or female? There are tens of thousands of genders out there, with hundreds of people choosing at least three of each! I myself once dated an Apache attack helicopter before realizing that it preferred pancakes over waffles (An egregious sin. I still pray that its soul can still reach heaven before it dies), then finally finding my match with a beautiful T-34.

Finally, simply meeting a person online can never qualify as a true relationship. You need to play a couple of battles with them. Friend them on Discord. Get into a voice chat. Make a Ugandan Knuckles raid on a VR server just like you’ve gone back in time to when it was still relevant in 2018, even though it’s stale now in 2018. In other words, enhance the experience to beyond just being online avatars speaking to other online avatars. Instead, be an online avatar speaking to another online avatar that you speak with on a daily basis, and with multiple other online avatars that you own on different social media websites. Maybe, if you’re persistent enough with the borrowed credit card, you’ll even get to learn their real name - that’s true love in this new and exciting digital age.

To conclude, what have we learned about love? What is love? Baby, don’t hurt me for repeating the question. Don’t hurt me. No more. I’ll explain if you don’t hurt me, and- oh, I don’t know, what can I do? What else can I say, it’s up to you. I simply clarified the definition of what love really is, and how it’s been twisted over the many centuries that it’s been in existence. But ultimately, love is up to each person to really discover for themselves. It’s more than simply a concept, an idea brought out of the void: A person must discover what form love shapes itself into for them. More specifically, who love shapes itself into. Maybe you already know someone who is the embodiment of love in your eyes. Maybe that special embodiment of love is waiting for you on this Earth, wondering about who their true love is too. After all, as said by a wise man, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”. You are the beholder, you just need to find the beauty in order to finally complete the definition of what love is.

Otherwise known as Maf.

Thank you very much to @mydoom.exe for his special proofreading skills. If you have any question regarding TLM, please leave a post below.

We are looking for sponsor to support our journal (with lots of crystals) against the evil Chicken Industry Corporatin (ChIC) which get stronger every day. Recently they made an alliance with, yet another evil corporation, the Totally Tasty Cookies (TTC), and they are trying to take us down via dishonest and expensive law suites. Any help is welcome.

So long Mults…

TLM is the world's first truly independent, non-profit, viewer-supported news and documentary service. It does not accept advertising, government or corporate funding in order to provide real and independent news imbued with verifiable facts, history and context. Its mission is to engage millions of viewers in solving the critical problems of our times, and fighting against the evil chicken industry that we vow to put down once for all. Say No to chicken and No to cookies and join our noble cause.

Further good read from The Leaky Mult

+ The Leaky Mult #1 - November 2017 by Illuminati & The Merovingian
+ The Leaky Mult #2 - New Year 2018 by Illuminati & The Merovingian
+ The Leaky Mult #4 - October 2019 by The Merovingian
+ The Leaky Mult #5 - December 2019 by Given, Viking4s & The Merovingian
+ The Leaky Mult #6 - December 2020 by Tokamak & The Merovingian

Edited December 7, 2020 by Merovingian

Flexoo · February 14, 2018

Approved (Admin to the rescue :ph34r: )

Edits:

Minor rephrasing of few sentences.

Minor grammar edits (a/an with plural noun, for example)

Another really greatly written continuation of TLM. I enjoyed the humor a lot. A top notch quality. Keep it up guys ;)

P.S. Grand Executioner, it isn't quite smart to publicly admit you broke into my office!

P.P.S. ~~I will find you!~~

Commander_Rose · February 14, 2018

:lol:

Crip · February 14, 2018

Nice one!

Got a good laugh out of reading this!

GrandExecutioner · February 14, 2018

Approved (Admin to the rescue :ph34r: )

Edits:

Minor rephrasing of few sentences.

Minor grammar edits (a/an with plural noun, for example)

Another really greatly written continuation of TLM. I enjoyed the humor a lot. A top notch quality. Keep it up guys ;)

P.S. Grand Executioner, it isn't quite smart to publicly admit you broke into my office!

P.P.S. ~~I will find you!~~

r_trooll15 · February 14, 2018

I am not spamming the forum for nothing!!!!!!!!

Merovingian · February 14, 2018

Approved (Admin to the rescue :ph34r: )

Edits:[...]

Another really greatly written continuation of TLM. I enjoyed the humor a lot. A top notch quality. Keep it up guys ;)

P.S. Grand Executioner, it isn't quite smart to publicly admit you broke into my office!

P.P.S. ~~I will find you!~~

Thanks oh admin.

I added and changed stuff after Mydoom proofread just to give you/AWS helper more work :D

Thanks for the correction and encouragement. No live chicken will stand in our way.

I told you "Imprudent and Valiant".

Most Promising Forumer - TSY_the_crazy

:o Adriel and me should switch :c

Nope, you still have a lot to learn form the master, young impatient apprentice.

:lol:

TY :wub:

Nice one!

Got a good laugh out of reading this!

TY :wub:

hehe

I am not spamming the forum for nothing!!!!!!!!

lol, yes you are :D

The Spammies are rigged anyway. ;) :ph34r:

Edited February 14, 2018 by Merovingian

r_trooll15 · February 14, 2018

lol, yes you are :D

The Spammies are rigged anyway. ;) :ph34r:

I knew it!! Goddamnit @I3est. He hates me, so he must've rigged it against me

AdrielRB · February 20, 2018

And now what we all are waiting for, the best of the best, la crème de la crème, the award that clearly recognizes excellence in spamming:

The Ultimate ~~Forumer~~ Spammer – Adriel.RB

WAAAAAAAAAAAW

Thanks a lot for the award, I have this no sense poem that I made in 3 minutes to celebrate it:

Roses r red

Indigo are violets

Chocolate is my fav flavour

KONY 2012

Really, I'm happy for this award

On being the best forumer

Love all of you my friend ^_nohomo

Love you for being such supportive and amazing here

Being honest, thanks a lot for this message, I really really really appreciate it a lot :blush:

I won't forget y'all of you guys :wub:

Beware on April 1st

cya then

^{_{hahaha le adri posted le olde pewds hahaha funni meem xd}}

r_trooll15 · February 20, 2018

WAAAAAAAAAAAW

Thanks a lot for the award, I have this no sense poem that I made in 3 minutes to celebrate it:

Roses r red

Indigo are violets

Chocolate is my fav flavour

KONY 2012

Really, I'm happy for this award

On being the best forumer

Love all of you my friend ^_nohomo

Love you for being such supportive and amazing here

Being honest, thanks a lot for this message, I really really really appreciate it a lot :blush:

I won't forget y'all of you guys :wub:

Beware on April 1st

cya then

^{_{hahaha le adri posted le olde pewds hahaha funni meem xd}}

You back already?

Edited May 28, 2018 by r_trooll15
spoiler added

Merovingian · February 20, 2018

You back already?

Probably just to collect the precious award and spam from the real world one more time.

a real master :)

r_trooll15 · February 20, 2018

Probably just to collect the precious award and spam from the real world one more time.

a real master :)

I am in the running Edited February 20, 2018 by r_trooll15

GrandExecutioner · February 20, 2018

I am in the running

The Ultimate ~~Forumer~~ Spammer Award 2018 is waiting...

gokuMI6 · March 8, 2018

Another good article of The Leaky Mult

Good bye TON

{Tiny Onion Next weak}

:blink:

In case you didn't get TON it is Tanki Online Newspaper :ph34r:

:o

Edited March 8, 2018 by gokuMI6

Magenta · March 10, 2018

""

This is face news! I've been there. The Reporter's HQ looks nothing like this! It's a grand-ish looking skyscraper draped in glass and chrome, radiating brilliance, standing a mighty 52-floors high. That picture is of the Help Site Consultancy Office.

Viking4s · March 10, 2018

"

"

This is face news! I've been there. The Reporter's HQ looks nothing like this! It's a grand-ish looking skyscraper draped in glass and chrome, radiating brilliance, standing a mighty 52-floors high. That picture is of the Help Site Consultancy Office.

The grand entrance is guarded with huge marble statues of Flexoo.axxaxax

Magenta · March 10, 2018

The grand entrance is guarded with huge marble statues of Flexoo.axxaxax

No, it's guarded by heavily armed penguins. Flex is a modest guy.

Viking4s · March 10, 2018

No, it's guarded by heavily armed penguins. Flex is a modest guy.

modest!? as if, (chuckle) it's an evil robot...

Magenta · March 10, 2018

modest!? as if, (chuckle) it's an evil robot...

Look, he may secretly be smuggling blue spheres hidden inside teddy bears, and becoming immensely rich in the process, but he doesn't like to show off this gargantuan wealth in lavish and extravagant manners.

r_trooll15 · March 14, 2018

""

This is face news! I've been there. The Reporter's HQ looks nothing like this! It's a grand-ish looking skyscraper draped in glass and chrome, radiating brilliance, standing a mighty 52-floors high. That picture is of the Help Site Consultancy Office.

That's the new one! Turns out that after the break-in, they moved to the archive area

Magenta · March 14, 2018

That's the new one! Turns out that after the break-in, they moved to the archive area

They have been where they are now for as long as I can remember. And I can remember up to a long time back.

r_trooll15 · March 16, 2018

They have been where they are now for as long as I can remember. And I can remember up to a long time back.

They moved when you took that break from Tanki

Magenta · March 16, 2018

They moved when you took that break from Tanki

They were there before I took a break .-. duh nub

r_trooll15 · March 16, 2018

They were there before I took a break .-. duh nub

It was temporary

Magenta · March 16, 2018

It was temporary

Alright, look, as an outsider you have no idea, right? I've been maintaining personal relationships with reporters for over a year now, and I know how things work. I know how things work not just in the newspaper, but in almost every office - knowledge established through the Interrogating the Helpers series (2 have been published, but a lot more are now currently in the works).

And it wasn't temporary. They have been in the Rio office since Nives came to power. And their they have been in. The picture in this article is of the Helpsite Consultants. Period. You can ro ask the CM.

(why has this mythical argument turned into a spam war lol)

Edited March 16, 2018 by Magenta

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REWARD

TASK

REWARD

TASK

REWARD

TASK

REWARD