Part 2 - My Visit To The EN Reporters' HQs [Mag's Journals]

[Magenta 5,165]

 

Hellow, sequel-hungry-peeps!

 

Even though Part 1 didn't receive as many likes and comments and views as my previous works have, I decided to publish Part 2 quickly anyway. Since I was so irrationally quick, we should absolutely not waste time in funny orange text, so let's get going...

 

 

Immediately after the door opened, hot air rushed in, stinking horribly. Then I heard the scream of a cat, and immediately I saw the cat chasing a mouse. That’s when I noticed the huge piles of paper, stacked up to an inch below the ceiling, with barely enough space between each pile for a human to pass through. But pass we would have to. And then there was the unbearable odor of centuries-old rodent-infested paper, mixed with the unmistakable odor of rotten chicken.

 

“Welcome to the archives,” Twee said, with a sigh. “Walls take up a lot of the space, so we didn’t divide the archive floors into rooms. The entire floor is a room. We needed the space. And yes, if you see any fried chicken, don’t touch it. It’s either rotten, or belongs to a staff who has hidden it here, or is the secret switch that opens up a secret door which leads to the secret headquarters of some secret organization, where unwelcome guests will most likely be vaporized. As I told you, this is an excellent hideout. Just don’t touch any fried chicken, however tempting it might be. We’ll give you plenty once we get to the office.”

 

“And what if I’m attacked by some monster bug?” I asked, my voice betraying the fear underneath.

 

“Nothing much that you can do then, boy.”

 

Of course.

 

We kept walking, or rather, squeezing, through the space between the piles, dodging spiders that hung from the ceiling, being careful not to step on any chicken, and inevitably getting a considerable amount of cobweb stuck on ourselves. “You can take a bath once we’re up there,” Twee comforted me.

 

As soon as I got used to the stink and the claustrophobia, we saw the stairs to floor 37.

 

“Aye, there it is!,” Twee said, patting me on my shoulder. “Most AWC mults don’t make it this far. I usually have to jab a syringe into their necks each time, because otherwise you can’t, just can’t, keep them away from the friggin’ chicken. Then we fly them back to the AW HQs while they’re still unconscious. Poor nugs don’t get to taste the actual fresh chicken that we serve to those who manage to survive. The chicken is terrific. We fry it according to @hogree’s Secret Recipe, which is, well, secret. The one that was published was, obviously, fake.”

 

“What even happened to hog, by the way?” I ask, curious as ever, as we emerged out and into floor 38.

 

“Well, I’ll tell you, because you’re a good guy. Don’t go telling this around to everybody. It was TKP. He killed Hog. They got into some copyright issues, and @GoldRock was too late to settle any disputes.”

 

I had barely got in, and I was already itching to get out.

 

“How are things in the AWC, eh?” Twee asked, trying to start a proper conversation that could steer our senses away from the realities of floor 38. Or he was probably trying to know something that he wasn’t supposed to know but I knew though he knew that I didn’t know that he was not supposed to know. You know, I mean, spying. Highly unlikely though. He’s a good guy, a harmless pair of tweezers (not to be taken literally), after all, why would he be ‘spying’? How do I know he’s a good guy? Because he called me a good guy, that’s why.

 

Anyway, the conversation that followed is obviously not for your eyes (unless you are a proud Distinguished Member of the AWC, and if that’s what you are, PM me) so allow me to skip ahead…

 

The rest of the journey was almost uneventful, with me and Twee having small talk, up to floor 42 where we took the elevator straight to the office. Yes, you heard me right. Almost. Or rather, you read me write. People expect a pun when they are told “or rather” but I’m just not a punny guy, I don’t hail from Puntry, and I’m not known to wreak pandemonium. Yes these are all unoriginal and common puns, as I said I’m just not punny enough.

 

Anyway, so something interesting happened in floor 41, so let’s go right there.

 

“Tired of the stairs, eh?” Twee asked me. We were both sweating. “I’ll ask someone to put up juice vendor machines near the stairs, at least while the elevator maintenance lasts.”

 

“But the illuminati people who hide here will surely help themselves freely to the juice. How will you counter that?”

 

“We’ll put up one peng near each machine.”

 

“Peng?” I asked, even as I half knew the answer.

 

“I mean those penguin-guards you saw below. There are so many of them, we have tons of them on each floor. There around that corner, you see that whitish thing?” Twee pointed at a well camouflaged penguin-guard that looked identical to those I saw at the entrance to the building, except this one was paper-white, the colour chosen to obviously help avoid the amateur eye. “There are just too many of them. So far, they’ve already caught and killed on sight 3 illuminati members, right here in these archives. We believe there are over a 100 of those pests, but they clearly know how to hide well. We’ve about a thousand of those pengs, each one trained to their brims, and they’ve only caught 3. They’re not incompetent, only those pests just avoid us well.”

 

“Thousand!”

 

“Yeah. Since we can afford them, even though they have quite good pay, why should we not have them?”

 

“How much does The Newspaper earn anyway? And how, lol?” You shouldn’t be surprised if you find me shot in my apartment one of these days.

 

“The office joke is that @Flexoo smuggles blue spheres hidden in those teddy bears we use to decorate the office, and uses the crystals to fund his one true love, The Newspaper. But that’s just a joke. You’ll have to get into a room alone with Flex to know the truth.”

 

Well, I don’t think that was a very funny joke. And from experience, I know that if a joke isn’t funny, it probably isn’t on… I shouldn’t think and write about this stuff, deng. Sorry, I’ll delete this from the draft later. *forgets*

 

“Well, I don’t think you should use those guys to guard juice machines…” I said, rather reluctantly.

 

“Why not? They don’t mind. Hell, if we ask them to hide somewhere near the machines so that they can’t be seen but they can see, they might even catch some of those pests. Orange juice is a good lure in mid-summer here in Rio de Janeiro.”

 

Sharp guy.

 

And before any time elapsed, we heard the spewing of plasma balls, *spew spew spew*.

 

“One of those pests got captured, I think. Wanna check what’s up?”

 

“I think we should just get to the office quick, now. It’s really hot in here,” I told him.

 

“Right.”

 

Soon after, we climbed the stairs on to floor 42.

 

“Oh my gawd, we’re almost there, I’m so excited, you know, it’s been such a long time since I got interviewed, such a long time since I didn’t have to stab a poor AWC mult, such a long time since I - or any us guys, in fact - saw the exultant look of sheer pleasure on the face of someone who just tasted fried chicken cooked in Hog’s Recipe for the first time… since you’ll be the first guy since a long time, I think we’ll serve the chicken with @hogree’s Secret Sauce.”

 

“I can’t wait,” I told him, though I can’t honestly say that I was not lying. I think he was jumping with excitement.

 

By then, I had gotten used to everything I had thought was going to be one helluva torture when I had stepped out of the elevator doors last time. In fact, I think I was kind of starting to enjoy the archives, with all those exciting mysteries. For a moment, I thought that it was a shame that we were leaving them. But of course, it was just for a moment. It took no time to remember that every second I was spending here inside the archives, my life expectancy was spiraling downwards.

 

As we turned a corner, and I saw the grey double doors of the elevator. I turned right, and there was a smile on Twee’s face. The smile that you know is a genuine paternal smile, even if you didn’t see one in your miserable childhood. I just couldn’t help returning one to him.

 

We had, after all, just lived through 46 minutes of The Newspaper Archives, infested to the neck with who-knows-what.

 

And then I noticed something behind his head, on the wall. No, not a wall, there are no walls in the archives. I mean, the stack of papers. A grey piece of paper (on later enquiry I found out that the shade of grey was rgb(17,17,17)) was stuck on it, with something scribbled. I couldn’t help asking Twee about it, interrupting that holy moment of warmness. Because I can’t help anything. Deal with it.

 

“What’s that thingy?”

 

 

END OF PART 2

 

 

 

Part 3 soon, I gotta come up with some ideas first... meanwhile, keep an eye out 'cuz a lot of interviews are going to come out. And leave a like, please, I'm overworked, I need something to keep me awake, even if it's just one small shot of endorphin...

 

Bye! Sweet dreams. Idc if it's night for you or not. It is for me.

 

 

 

Other writings by me:More interviews by me:

-An Expert's Extensive Guide On Onions And What To Do With Them-Personality Cut Down: Cutting Nives with Knives

-5 Magic Tricks You Can Perform In Tanki-Personalities of Yesterday: Night-Sisters

-The Paint Invasion - Strategy Room-Interrogating The Helpers: Reporters

-Mag's Journals: My Visit To The EN Reporters' HQs - Part 1-Interrogating The Helpers: Forum Moderators

-Part 2 - My Visit To The EN Reporters' HQs [Mag's Journals]-Interrogating The Helpers: Wiki Editors

-Dear Love

Edited June 23, 2018 by Magenta

[Blackdrakon30 2,943]

Grammar & spelling looks pretty much good.

 

Approved

 

And so the story continues. I shall be waiting full of curiosity for the next in the series.  :P I don't have much to say about the story itself except that it's entertaining, as usual.

[iMoneyMaker 4,500]

Amazing!

[Zak 2,532]

Nice :3 

[maryam98 1,171]

You have been modelling this somewhat on TKP's Simulator, haven't you? Whatever it is, it's a great story.

[Magenta 5,165]

Grammar & spelling looks pretty much good.

 

Approved

 

And so the story continues. I shall be waiting full of curiosity for the next in the series. :P I don't have much to say about the story itself except that it's entertaining, as usual.

Common say something lol

 

You have been modelling this somewhat on TKP's Simulator, haven't you? Whatever it is, it's a great story.

#Busted

 

Yeah I have, thought I would give credits in the last part.

Edited March 10, 2018 by Magenta

[Magenta 5,165]

Grammar & spelling looks pretty much good.

 

Approved

 

And so the story continues. I shall be waiting full of curiosity for the next in the series.  :P I don't have much to say about the story itself except that it's entertaining, as usual.

Look what I found:

 

[...]“The office joke is that @Flexoo smuggle blue spheres [...]

"Smuggle" should have been "smuggles".

 

You're idea if "good"...

Edited March 11, 2018 by Magenta

[gokuMI6 1,290]

Look what I found:

 

"Smuggle" should have been "smuggles".

You should replace the spell check machine of the mod's , i think it is out of juice  :D

I mean POtAtO Juice ;)

[Magenta 5,165]

You should replace the spell check machine of the mod's , i think it is out of juice  :D

I mean POtAtO Juice ;)

You seriously thought flex runs on potato juice? Cheap, fatty, bad-tasting, POTATO juice?

 

waw mult.