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RIPcrystalboxes

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  1. RIPcrystalboxes

    Mystery of Crystals

    Greetings, this is the amazingly confusing, bewildering, enigmatic, nonsensical and ingenious RIPcrystalboxes. I am going to tell how I discovered the secrets of the crystals. One day, I was driving around polygon, randomly blowing up tanks who got in my way and catching crystals. Then, a warning went off, proclaiming that the goldbox would be dropped soon. I was driving around in my M0 Wasp/ M0 Ricochet, and I saw the gold dropping far off. I turned on speed boost, and hurried over to it. Unfortunately I went airborn on a ramp at the same time as a railgun hit me, and I went spinning into the sky, and landed (gasp) outside polygon, on a rolling green hill. But, as I slowly turned my turret around, I realized I was in a field of gold boxes. More than half of polygon is grass outside the main map. Suspicious, eh? So, I gleefully caught every last one of them. It was over 150 thousand in crystals. But then, a hole opened up in the ground. A deadly looking heavy tank driving a mammoth/thunder and wearing a paint I had never seen before popped out. He was an easy kill. I began my circle of death, pounding him over and over again with my dreaded rico. After a couple minutes of this, he finally blew up. But then, a second later, a the words; FATAL ERROR popped onto my screen. So, I logged back into the game. But, to my surprise, I found myself still in the same polygon. No other players were in the map. The entire map was spotlessly clean. I examined everywhere, and the only thing I found was a hazmat suit lying in the corner of the map. But then, I found a tunnel. Naturally, I drove into it. What I found horrified me more than you can comprehend. Electrical wires hummed all across the tunnels. Flickering fluorescent lights were all I could see. But then, I came across a huge factory, manufacturing all kinds of machinery. All different kinds of turrets and hulls, including two turrets I had never seen before, (One looked like a machine gun, or a giant gatling gun) were being built. Then I found a whiteboard on a wall. Written on the whiteboard, were several cruel sentences. They read: How to make people give us money? 1. Brainwash them. 2. Make it so that they have to buy the Pro battle pass to go into any good battle. 3. Remove crystal drops, so no one makes any money and are forced to buy them. 4. Introduce new turrets that are really expensive/ or bad, so that everyone buys them and has to buy more crystals. How to save money? 1. Get rid of crystals, we won't have to manufacture anything else. 2. Create 'Night Battles' to save power. I almost fainted. Get rid of crystal boxes? What kind of a cruel joke was this! They might as well delete tanki online!. With steely resolve, I ventured farther into the factory. I found many other terrible things, too terrible to put into words. So now, I skip forward a few days. I finally got out of the factory and the tunnels. I found myself in a very strange place, called THE BRAZILIAN SERVER. In this not very well known place, the evil russian developers have been doing cruel and unusual experiments on tankers, without telling the other servers. I found a strange two headed shaft, and a Mammoth fuzed to three hunters. It was gruesome. I quickly drove out of that south american place as quickly as I could. In a craze I scrambled through battles. I finally managed to make it to the EN1 server. Safety at last! But somehow, I found myself falling... falling.... and falling. Then, with a loud thud, I hit the roof of the Rio Skyscraper. I probably broke several treads in the fall. Then, a glowing green tractor beam slowly lifted me up, into some kind of space ship. I woke up later, in a Russian prison, being interrogated by the Russians. I won't tell you the full story, but some of it can be found here: http://en.tankiforum.com/index.php?showtopic=234970&hl=
  2. RIPcrystalboxes

    Let's Discuss Twins!

    Why its worse than ricochet: Twins depends a lot on sheer damage power. But ricochet has significantly higher burst damage in one clip. It is rare for a ricochet not to be able to kill one tank in its ten shot clip, so the fact that it has to reload afterwards makes little difference. Twins has no way of shooting tanks behind cover, or using cover to protect itself. To fire twins, you have to be sitting out in the open, shooting at an enemy right in the open. You can't duck behind buildings are walls and then jump out to shoot, like railgun or thunder. This makes it lose some survivabliilty, and is one of the major flaws of twins. Ricochet can use its ricochets to hit enemies behind cover all the time. Ricochet has way better range than twins, allowing it to kill a lot more enemies. Twins is hard to aim. If only the corner of a tank is poking out from cover, you can only hit it with one bullet every two. Ricochet does not have this problem. Pros: Cooler looking than ricochet Can hold back a lot of tanks for a long time. Once Ricochet shoots its ten rounds, it is as vulnerable as a smoky without critical hits. This is my alt account, I am not a beginner.
  3. RIPcrystalboxes

    Wish List

    Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is crystal drops back in the game! http://en.tankiforum.com/index.php?showuser=401344
  4. RIPcrystalboxes

    Funeral Service for Crystal Drops

    For those asking for who's alt I am, I am EVERYONE!!!
  5. RIPcrystalboxes

    Funeral Service for Crystal Drops

    We are all gathered here today to grieve the loss of a good friend, Crystal Boxes. We all remember you, and always will. You were an essential part of the world. You were the best friend of all new players. We remember when you were young and looked like this: We also remember your middle age, when you looked like this: And we remember your last few months, when you looked like this: You were born young and small, only worth one crystal. You were like this for years, in the golden days before the first rebalance. Back then you could buy M3 Twins the same rank you could buy M0 Freeze. Then one day you grew ten times bigger, so that you were now worth ten crystals. But the Russians couldn't stand this, and increased the price of everything by ten. Then, over time, you changed appearance several times. At the very end of your life, you grew to be worth Twenty five, fifty, and even one hundred crystals. Perhaps you went to far at the end. This defiance was too much. The Russians came. They kidnapped you for a week, and cruelly murdered you in their Russian prison. The Russians, also known as the developers, showed no remorse. You were kidnapped and never seen again. You gleaming blueness has always inspired me with awe. We all remember the rush of capturing a hard earned crystal. Think of the newbies. They will never see you. They will only here vague rumors of the fact that once crystals literally fell from the sky. Think of how dull and blank their life will be! The empty battles, full of bloodshed and killing, are utterly devoid of crystals. Even the drugs blandly fall, seeming sad about the disappearance of their friend. Your passing marked an all time low in the tankiworld. A few days after your death, the devs turned on the so called night battles. But we all know that they only introduced night battles as a scheme save power. It takes a ton of electricity to light so many maps at once. The step of 'adding night battles' (cutting the power) only revealed their motive behind the murder of crystals. It was to save money. It was getting simply to expensive to drop hundreds of crystals every battle. So they brutally kidnapped and murdered crystal drops. Now the maps are dark and empty, with tanks whimsically murdering each other. It is a land of misery, gloom, and malevolence without you, crystal boxes. You were our hero. You were perhaps the only one striving to make tanki online better, the only one arguing with the developers. You were the only true warrior. You see, crystals were the only thing keeping the world running. When they left, everything spiraled out of control. The night battles. The gold boxes, which now drop only twenty seconds after warning. Shafts now have laser eyes, because they went blind with the sadness of a world without crystal drops. The competition and sport of crystal catching is now gone, leaving tankers angry and violent. It is now a crazy sickening world of pointless destruction. Tears are now rolling down my face, forming a puddle underneath me... I can hardly right this. But I do it for a greater good... to tell the public of the true facts behind the passing of crystal boxes. But it is so so hard to recant the details... almost as hard as Semyon's whip on my back. You see, I was captured by the Russians and brought to the torture chamber of the same Russian prison as the crystals. But I learned the secrets, and I am determined to tell you. The devs will probably make up excuses. They will say: "Crystals don't drop anymore because the pterodactyl that dropped them went half blind, so they had to put symbols on the ground to point out where the pterodactyl should drop the crystals. But then the old pterodactyl died, so he couldn't drop them anymore. Then they will say that Godmode_ON shot out the sun, so that there are night battles. (he does have Semyon's family hostage)." But all of this is lies. Everything I have told you is the truth. If you liked the crystal boxes, tell the new players. Keep your screenshots with crystal boxes in them. Fight back against the Devs, and Remember the crystals! If you want crystals drops back in the game in some form, give this an up vote.
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