The Toilet Paper Army [TPA]

[player_03 90]

Dear readers, today's issue has been printed on Kleenex baby wipes due to shortage of Toilet Paper. Floralys have failed to keep up delivery due to the fact that our newspaper never paid them. This is fake and we are working hard to resolve the issue. Sorry for the inconvenience.

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The Toilet Paper Newspaper

 

Printed on pure ultra-soft toilet paper

 

Daily headline

 

No repair kit drops in Pass CP

 

This morning, a bug was reported to the TO police department. One of our reporters found that their were no RK drops in Pass CP. Police chief @Ambitious sent one of his best detectives to investigate, At our daily press conference, Sir Supratikbora stated :

We are working hard to investigate this issue. Unfortunately, my detective TNT's timer ran out and exploded before  could send his report. Upon personal judgement, I believe this is a hack, but I can never be sure. I have sent the Toilet Paper Newspaper manager to investigate.

 

Very unluckily, the newspaper manager fainted and was unable to continue this article. His loyal reporter @player_03 will finish the article.

Unfortunately, TP_03 refused to type the rest of the article because his employer, TP_2017, was dead and could not pay his salary of [redacted].

 

~ Your [unpaid] reporter, TP_03

Printed on responsibly sourced pure ultra-soft 03-ply toilet paper

[Coat 2,280]

I may further help you guys.

[Coat 2,280]

I would be more than happy to accept your help. What would you like to do in our team?

Yep. But tomorrow's my college's first day.

 

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I ranked up, guys.

[Coat 2,280]

 

I'm outta it.

[Coat 2,280]

Nooooo, damn, wait I'll put you back in :ph34r:

No plz

[Hate 5,582]

Seems like we have opened our own News Paper company in here, I hope we won't get shut down cos of copyright to the original company. 

[Hate 5,582]

Well if they want a fight, we answer them with fight, let's not forget that.

 

 

I will most likely be the first one who will run so don't count on me.

 

[Coat 2,280]

Guys, I won't be ranking up faster from now on.

[CabbageRoll 3,018]

IF YOU DINT KNOW SAME ISSUE HAPPENS AT ISLAND CP!!!!! WE NEED TO INVESTIGATE ASAP

[CabbageRoll 3,018]

However, everyone wishes our New CM good luck getting to legend

Oh no, some low rank kid will manipulate with community

[CabbageRoll 3,018]

So let me introduce you to the Baby Wipe Magazine. It will be the special articles branch of the Toilet Paper Newspaper. Articles will be published irregularly and @Mad will be in charge of writing them. I may also write a few, but Mad is the main writer. Hope you guys enjoy it!

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CabbageRoll, it also happens in Siege I think. But yes! @Ambitious, you need to send more agents, spies and detectives to TO headquarters! And I'm 99.99 percent sure that Nives isn't a kid :lol:

He said he will play fair and his profile is visible, so yes i wrote that too early

Not like noob cedric taht jumps from wo2 - legend

[Hate 5,582]

 

Another News Paper moderator? I'm surprised! :o

[Coat 2,280]

Another News Paper moderator? I'm surprised! :o

:D

[Hate 5,582]

Can it get any better...;P

[Darren4Turbo 4,913]

2. Who is @Tofu?

 

Correction: What is Tofu? Well tofu is a very disgusting vegetable which we put in our soups or in bowls of Chinese noodles in front of me. *cough* Check google *cough* for *cough* more. I can't bear the *cough* sm *cough -ell anymore. Cya in a minute *cough*

 

@Tofu is triggered ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[Coat 2,280]

The baby-wipe Magazine
 
Printed on ultra-wet baby wipes
 
30/8/2017 Special
 
Cedric goes to get a Nivea lip balm
 
Cedric Debono, a former CM (Crime Minister) of Tanki Online, goes to a store to get a Nivea lip balm. Why he needed it? No, not that you're thinking, he was bored being the CM of Tanki Online for too long. He was pretty sure that the Tanki is completely ruined now, and his mission is completed. Cedric then made him the new CM of Tanki Online. Cedric believes that the new CM will keep ruining the Tanki like him, he trained the new CM on how to ruin things. While here in Tanki, the tankers are thinking that the Nivea lip balm is of good quality and won't ruin their lips (Along with their faces). Some tankers want him to organize a lot of competitions, so that they could earn some crystals, or he'll just rank up himself, this time from Corporal to Legend. Everyone is wanting to brainwash the new CM, so that the Cedric's training could be erased from his memory. (Wait!! What!?? Does Nivea lip balm has a brain??!?!?). We don't care.
 
~Mad, The Baby-wipe Magazine in charge.

[player_03 90]

The Baby Wipe Magazine

 

30/08/2017 Special Part 2

 

Contest!

 

The Tofu-Teasing season is one of the most popular events in Tanki Forum. The contest prize is a gold box from @Hate!

Please not : This is NOT A FAKE GIVEAWAY.

So here's is what you have to do:

Write a short story about @Tofu. Make it funny and tease it in the story. Send it to me and the best article will be published in one of our Baby Wipe articles.

 

Deadline: 06.09.2017 --> My birthday :)

 

Good luck!

 

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Survey closed, nobody submitted :P

Contrary to public belief, Tofu comes in multiple species. There is Smelly Tofu, and Mult Tofu. Both are to be teased.

 

~TP_03

[Coat 2,280]

Believe me, you're made of meat. xD

[Hate 5,582]

 

Eatable one or not. 

[Coat 2,280]

Eatable one or not. 

Drinkable one xD

[Coat 2,280]

I'm eatable k?

What about your blood? It's frozen?

[Darren4Turbo 4,913]

TO Newspaper readers, you must read the TP newspaper! It's da best!!! We publish 30 articles per month and we never take breaks! We also have a magazine which publishes 5 times a month! Come on guys, we are just da best!

With 1 word per article, lol.

[player_03 90]

 

Also because I'm too lazy to write articles

[Coat 2,280]

Sorry I was busy in ranking up.  :(

[Fruit 6,570]

 

 

The Toilet Paper Newspaper

 

Printed on pure-ultra soft newspaper

 

Daily headline

 

@Nikk is back!

 

Yes, you read right. The former noob event admin (no exception, all admins are noobs) is back! @Hate was especially pleased, cos he finally could have his favourite parkour leader back and his worst enemy, @Ben sacked. But unfortunately, the return of @Nikk didn't begin with a drum roll, it began with an application submitted to become once again...wait for it...

 

 

You really are curious aren't you?

Seriously mate, I suggest you stop.

Noob

Ok two more

One more

Wow, you are patient

An event helper (you almost forgot that was the subject :P?)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When noob (again no exception, all admins are noobs) @skeletorXVIII was asked why he didn't make @Nikk an admin, he replied:

He's too pro and I don't want him to steal my position.

When I asked him why he didn't want his position stolen, he rage-quitted. So umm...sorry @Ambitious, I failed my mission T_T.

 

Hopefully, @Nikk will quickly increase his position and kick skeletor away. And umm...skeletor, please don't kill be for bribes :unsure:

 

TSY_the_crazy, multman.

 

 

Never expected an article about me, lol :D 

 

Anyway, I never had a wish to become an administrator again, so I never even requested that to happen. I joined as an Event Helper just because they are in need of event Helpers, and since i'm with the 2 noob admins on TS all the time and they leave GTA to organize an event, well I join and help them out.

Again, I do not want to become an admin, not even an organizer. I left with a reason, and I don't really want to go through all of it again. Had a great time as an admin tho, did my best to stay as accessible as possible to the public, and tried to have as much fun as possible, never really thought of myself like "something more".

 

 

Thanks for some attention tho, very nice article xD