Lights

[Lose 881]

I was having fun.

 

Then my life changed forever.

 

It was at the graduation pool party at our community pool. It was pretty cool, they shut down the pool to the public, and the graduating students got to go there for the length of the school day. We were all having fun, jumping off the deep end, or chilling with friends.

 

We were about 3 hours into the pool party when all the sudden there was an uproar from the people on the other side of the pool. I quickly swivelled around to see what all the commotion was. Once I saw what it was, I called over to my friends;

 

"Yo, they got the snacks and drinks stand up!"

 

We speedily ran out of the pool and around to the other side. The pool was nearly quiet already as word had spread so fast. I looked and saw that only one person remained, about to go off the diving board into the deep end. I turned and heard a splash.

 

It seems like they jumped, I thought, it's so silent now. I waited for about another minute before I realised something was wrong. Shouldn't they be out of the pool by now? I looked in the pool, and I saw, through the ever-shrinking ripples, a dark mass that seemed to be just under the surface. I knew that I couldn't swim very well, if at all, but I didn't care, or I didn't realise. I turned to my friends;

 

"Be right back." Then I jumped into the water.

 

I attempted to swim to where he was, which soon I realised was unnecessary. I grabbed his shirt then hoisted him up above me; his head barely above the water. I started to swim as hard as ever, and I soon saw I was converging to the side of the pool. Even though I felt tingling and the sharp, burning sensation of pain, I pushed harder and I eventually I reached the edge. I looked up, and with my last of the breath. With all my remaining strength, I pushed him onto the ground. I opened my mouth wide as a cave to let the air flow through me once more, suddenly realising my mistake. I fell slowly into the water, nobody noticing me until afterwards; they were too focused on the person I had rescued. My chest and abdomen were felt as though I had been rammed by a truck. Soon, the regret sunk in and I cursed myself for taking on such a risky venture. My strength was failing, and I was slowly falling to the bottom of the pool, my body in complete pain and my mind filled with frustration. My eyesight began to turn black around the edges, and my pain and disappointment was almost unbearable.

 

Luckily, my last thought turned out the lights as it went. 

[Guest]

Approved!

 

Another wonderfully written piece! I'm unsure if this is a personal account or just a narrative, but it was mostly well written. There were a few instances where there was awkward phrasing (unfortunately the exact details elude me, but it had to with your number agreement [For example saying "I have many apple" versus "I have many apples"]). One small thing I did feel was that this type of story felt a little bit forced, in that it doesn't seem like your natural style.

[TankiNoob2000 231]

Well written my friend;)

[tweezers 1,034]

You wouldn't happen to read Calvin and Hobbes, would you?

[Person_Random 4,991]

You wouldn't happen to read Calvin and Hobbes, would you?

Ummm.... if you are in the anthology chat, Hippin has told us that the piece has a line from a Calvin and Hobbes strip.  or something like that.

[Lose 881]

You wouldn't happen to read Calvin and Hobbes, would you?

Yea the last line is almost exactly like the last line from a Calvin and Hobbes strip, I read it and I thought it sounded cool. Hope that's not bad  :P

Approved!

 

Another wonderfully written piece! I'm unsure if this is a personal account or just a narrative, but it was mostly well written. There were a few instances where there was awkward phrasing (unfortunately the exact details elude me, but it had to with your number agreement [For example saying "I have many apple" versus "I have many apples"]). One small thing I did feel was that this type of story felt a little bit forced, in that it doesn't seem like your natural style.

 

Yea, when I was writing the piece it didn't flow as naturally as I thought it would, but I hope it's still good.

This is partially a personal account because I have had a near-death experience with drowning before, but most of this was made up.

Edited January 4, 2019 by Lose

[tweezers 1,034]

Yea the last line is almost exactly like the last line from a Calvin and Hobbes strip, I read it and I thought it sounded cool. Hope that's not bad  :P

Ayyyyyy I knew it! And nah, since you actually wrote the whole story it's all cool   :P

[Guest]

Yea the last line is almost exactly like the last line from a Calvin and Hobbes strip, I read it and I thought it sounded cool. Hope that's not bad  :P

 

This is partially a personal account because I have had a near-death experience with drowning before, but most of this was made up.

Ah, I see. Also, my appologies about the contradiction present.

[Lose 881]

Ah, I see. Also, my appologies about the contradiction present.

no need to apologize :)

[AncientFire 1,894]

This seems like some story on a lost island, where you are regretting for doing something that resulted in you ending up there.

Gotta say though, that was a worthy-to-read story

Edited January 7, 2019 by sarim2345_the_master

[Lose 881]

This seems like some story on a lost island, where you are regretting for doing something that resulted in you ending up there.

Gotta say though, that was a worthy-to-read story

thanks for the idea :ph34r:

[Venerable 2,968]

I may be dumb, but I understood everything but the last line. It's an epic sentence, but I didn't understand how it's supposed to end the story.

Is the narrator dreaming? Or has he actually died?

Whatever it is, I think you mean that the narrator has died. It would be interesting if the rescued person also died...

 

I really liked this story! Well written, as always!

[Lose 881]

15 hours ago, Venerable said:

I may be dumb, but I understood everything but the last line. It's an epic sentence, but I didn't understand how it's supposed to end the story.

Is the narrator dreaming? Or has he actually died?

Whatever it is, I think you mean that the narrator has died. It would be interesting if the rescued person also died...

 

I really liked this story! Well written, as always!

The last line is a reference to Calvin and Hobbes, and I meant it as them passing out so it leaves the end to the readers imagination.