The Lose™️ Officially Unofficial Guide on How Not to Write A Guide

[Lose 881]

Has this ever happened to you?:

You're wandering the Forum, when suddenly you stumble across a... guide! Intrigued, you read it all thoroughly. Not only do you learn nothing, but now you want to write a guide of your own! Only one problem, though. You don't know how!

 

I can't help you. But everybody starts somewhere, and this is your start position! Using the Lose tried, tested, trusted, and true methods, I will show you how NOT to make a guide! Let's hop right into it and waste seven minutes of your time!

 

 

 

STEP ONE: The Title

 

I know from experience that if your title does not meet about 574 requirements, the helpers will come for your blood. With that knowledge, let's show you how to make the worst title possible!

 

Let's start with a good title: it uses proper spelling and grammar, clearly tells you the topic, and is eye-catching. It's absolutely atrocious. Here's a step-by-step guide on how to fix it.

(The atrocity that is this title. 0/10 title)

 

Part A: Remove the Topic

 

If you want to make a good guide, you need to have a title that clearly explains what your guide is about. That is one of the main reasons people will click your guide. You could make it have a misleading topic, for example, say "A Guide for Hunter" when it's about Wasp, but it's better to just remove it completely. After you have done this, your guide title should have dropped in quality a significant amount.

(It's getting better... but can still improve. 2/10 title)

 

Part B: The Capitalization.

 

If your guide has no capitalization, not only does it make it much harder to notice as it blends in, but even if they find it, it's much more unappealing! Simply look at your title, and if any letters are capitalized, simply change them to lowercase! It makes your title SO much worse. It's amazing!

(More improvement, I'm starting to like where this is going. 4/10)

 

Part C; Names/Adjectives

 

If you want your title to be as bad as possible, it has to be unappealing. By removing names, you make the reader have less of an idea if your guide is trustworthy or not. For instance, if you see someone such as Person_Random in the title, you'll know they've written guides before, and therefore can be more trusted. If you remove all descriptive words that may help the reader understand what your guide is about, they will not want to click it! So just go through your title once again and remove and names or adjectives.

 

In this step, also remove words that make it sound more official, such as "the". I'm going to change the word "the" in the title for "my" in this instance, but try to avoid using that word also, as it can be used to seem authoritative or smart.

(It's starting to take its final shape. 6/10)

 

You might be thinking:

It's already so bad! What do you mean 6/10?! 

 

Well, my friend, titles can be MUCH, MUCH worse. 

 

Part D; Symbols, Emojis/Emoticons, and Notes

 

You've reached a point where your guide title is so unappealing people might just get interested. Our goal now is to make it seem like either we are EXTREMELY uneducated, or we are simply a troller. We're gonna aim for the latter, since uneducated people can be educated, but trollers will never change unwillingly.

 

So, how does one make a title as simple as "my guide" seem more troll-y? Well, firstly, we must add on to the title with "notes". Some examples of notes are things such as (cool), (check it out!), or the best kind, any form of the infamous (pls approve my piece moderator) note. We're going to use the third one.

 

After you have a note, you have to add symbols to said note. Usually try to stick to symbols that have at least some sort of correlation, don't just spam random symbols, even if that sounds counter-intuitive. I tend to stick with exclamation marks dotted with the occasional question mark.

 

Another way to make your title look amazing is with emoticons and emojis. These will show the moderators you are professional and know what you are doing. Any emoji or emoticon works in this scenario, any will get your point across -- you are a professional.

 

We're nearly at perfection... 8/10

 

Part F AND FINAL PART FOR TITLE: Spelling

 

Your title is lacking a topic, grammar, and nearly everything appealing about it. The problem is, though, is that the spelling, whilst not properly capitalized, is still correct. We need to fix this. In any way you want, purposefully misspell words and "accidentally" forget to press shift sometimes whilst typing the symbols. After you do this, your title should be beautiful, and you should be ready to move on!

 

I-It's beautiful. I've been staring at it for five hours now. 11/10

 

 

 

Alright, we've finished the title. You now have an absolutely, amazing, beautiful, revolting title. But a guide can't be a guide without any content! So now, we go on to our next step on how not to write a guide.

 

 

STEP TWO: Content

 

Instead of showing you how to make the worst content possible, I'm instead going to show you some tips that not only tell you how to make a horrible guide, but allow you to have some writing freedom. 

 

 

Tip ONE: Fonts

 

When you're in the editor, you can look on the top and just left of the center, you will see a box with the word "Font" in it and a drop down menu.

 

 

This allows you to change what font you type in, and if you try hard enough, you can get some ABSOLUTELY amazing font combinations. One of my favorites is the combination of "Comic Sans MS" and "Courier New". These two fonts are so different, if you try to add them together and sprinkle some other fonts (if you want), it's nearly impossible to type something to look nice.

 

"When using Wasp, you have to remember that it has low health."

 

But you are limited with the fonts provided by the Forum. If you really want to make your guide unreadable, look no further than Google (or whatever search engine you use). The internet has a bunch of fonts that are absolutely absurd, and the best can be found if you look up "cool fonts".  Some of these fonts are so incredibly horrible, it makes me cry with happiness. And with the right fonts, you can make the example above look like a normal sentence.

 

"₩Ⱨ?n҉  υѕιиɢ աᏗᏕᎮ, ??ㄩ 卄卂Ꮙꍟ ꓅ꆂ ⱤɆ₥e҉m҉b҉ёя ???ȶ ᎥᏖ ꁝꋬֆ LФա ɦεმlནh."

 

Look at that. Now imagine a whole PAGE filled with text that looks like that. Isn't it beautiful? It brings a tear to my eye. But that's only what I could do in limited time. I'm willing to bet some of you can create things much worse than that, even with how bad that is.

 

Tip TWO: Colors

 

You've probably noticed that gray isn't the only color being used in this. We've used orange and blue too, but there's a large array of colors at your disposal. With the right combinations, you can once again make your guide unreadable.

 

When using Wasp, you have to remember it has low health.

 

Now you might notice that you can't read from after the N in "using" to "you". This is because the black text color almost perfectly matches the background, making it effectively invisible. This might seem like a good idea on paper, but if you do this you won't be able to see what you are writing, and that can lead to some mistakes even you don't want in your guide.

 

Use this to change your text color:

 

 

Tip THREE: Bold, Italics, Strikethrough, etc.

 

If you look left of the colors, you'll see a series of buttons, which should look like this: 

In order, from left to right, this is what they do.

Bold: Bolds your text

Italics: Italicizes your text

Underline: Underlines your text

Strikethrough: Puts a strike right through your text

Subscript: Puts your text as a subscript -- it's smaller and slightly below the normal text

Superscript: ^{Like subscript, but on the top instead of the bottom}

 

If you combine these text editors in the right way, you have no limits. The combination of strikethrough and alternating sub and superscripts is particularly bad:

 

_W^h_eⁿ  _u^s_iⁿ_g  ^W_a^s_p^, _y^o_u ^h_av_e ^t_o ^r_e^m_e^m_b^e_r ⁱ_t ^h_a^s _l^o_w  ^h_e^a_l^t_h^.

Isn't that beautiful? If you add some bold and italic there, it gets even worse. It's amazing what you can do with the text editor, isn't it? But we're not done. I'd say most of these are child's play compared to what is possible with what I'm going to show you next. Brace yourselves, get your eyes ready, and have fun, because we're going to now head over to the formatting.

 

If you look over on the right side of the editor this time, you will see this: 

Using these, you can change where the text appears on the page. For the example sentences, if I want it in the middle, I would click this:     Although the text is by default on the left side on the screen, as you can see in this guide. Using this, you can make your text jump across the screen, and in my opinion, also make it the worst looking yet. I'm not going to say the whole sentence, this time I'm only gonna say "Hi!"

 

H

i

!

 

Isn't that bad, but also beautiful? Even though I can't see you, I can tell you're getting emotional. I'm also not going to use all of the tips in one sentence, as practically anything I'd say would not only be unreadable even for me, but it would take up too much of the page. There's still a lot more little things that didn't make it into any of the sections, but are too small to have their own section, such as the Quoting mechanism. Feel free to explore those too, if you want, or you can use the tips I've provided here.

 

That's all the tips for the "Content" section of your guide! Feel free to use, mix, and match these tips however you please to make your guide as horrendous as possible! Because don't forget the Lose motto: "The best guide is a broken guide"! Now let us move on to our final step of our guide.

 

STEP THREE: Responding

 

When you finish your guide, you should now submit it by clicking the green button at the bottom of your screen. It should look something like this:

    

Once you click that, your newly "horrendified" guide will be submitted to the AWS helpers for review. If or when they approve it, they might have made some significant changes that make the guide actually look readable. Which is absolutely horrifying. But even though they ruined your perfectly good guide, you shouldn't chew them out in PMs or just in the chat. It only makes you susceptible to a ban, and if you're banned, you can't make more guides! So even if you now hate that certain AWS helper forever for whatever reason, just keep it to yourself.

 

If people compliment you, at least accept it. Make sure you don't make yourself susceptible to a ban, and take in all the compliments that will be flooding in, and make some more beautiful pieces.

 

That's all the steps for the guide! You now how to make a perfect guide, and if you follow these Lose tried, tested, trusted, and true methods, you can make your own guide just as horrendous as you could ever dream. Now go out there and make the worst guide possible! 

 

_{The Lose foundation does not condone any and all forms of violence towards any AWS helpers, Tanki helpers, and human beings in general.} 

_{The Lose foundation also does not recommend taking this guide seriously.}

 

 

 

~Lose

[Person_Random 4,991]

Okay, it’s been a while, so...

 Approved.

 I loved this guide right from the beginning to the last word. You certainly have a lot of good tips for aspiring guide writers! I hope you’ll write a few more like this.

No edits. Sorry for the funny spacing, on mobile.

[Lose 881]

1 hour ago, Person_Random said:

Okay, it’s been a while, so...

 Approved.

 I loved this guide right from the beginning to the last word. You certainly have a lot of good tips for aspiring guide writers! I hope you’ll write a few more like this.

No edits. Sorry for the funny spacing, on mobile.

Thanks for approving this! Now the public can write bad guides.

 

Now that I've sort of got the hang of writing guides, I hope to write more soon! 

[ILiveOnTheChatBox123 936]

2 hours ago, Lose said:

Thanks for approving this! Now the public can write bad guides.

 

Now that I've sort of got the hang of writing guides, I hope to write more soon! 

I have always wondered what was the use of superscripts and subscripts since they are really useless generally, but now I see it is indeed useful!

[Venem 615]

That was nonsense!

Mods, brace yourselves!

For the Lose-Army Guides await you...

(Do they?)

[yasgfgfffgf 282]

Spoiler

On 6/8/2020 at 11:15 PM, Lose said:

Has this ever happened to you?:

You're wandering the Forum, when suddenly you stumble across a... guide! Intrigued, you read it all thoroughly. Not only do you learn nothing, but now you want to write a guide of your own! Only one problem, though. You don't know how!

 

I can't help you. But everybody starts somewhere, and this is your start position! Using the Lose tried, tested, trusted, and true methods, I will show you how NOT to make a guide! Let's hop right into it and waste seven minutes of your time!

 

 

 

STEP ONE: The Title

 

I know from experience that if your title does not meet about 574 requirements, the helpers will come for your blood. With that knowledge, let's show you how to make the worst title possible!

 

Let's start with a good title: it uses proper spelling and grammar, clearly tells you the topic, and is eye-catching. It's absolutely atrocious. Here's a step-by-step guide on how to fix it.

(The atrocity that is this title. 0/10 title)

 

Part A: Remove the Topic

 

If you want to make a good guide, you need to have a title that clearly explains what your guide is about. That is one of the main reasons people will click your guide. You could make it have a misleading topic, for example, say "A Guide for Hunter" when it's about Wasp, but it's better to just remove it completely. After you have done this, your guide title should have dropped in quality a significant amount.

(It's getting better... but can still improve. 2/10 title)

 

Part B: The Capitalization.

 

If your guide has no capitalization, not only does it make it much harder to notice as it blends in, but even if they find it, it's much more unappealing! Simply look at your title, and if any letters are capitalized, simply change them to lowercase! It makes your title SO much worse. It's amazing!

(More improvement, I'm starting to like where this is going. 4/10)

 

Part C; Names/Adjectives

 

If you want your title to be as bad as possible, it has to be unappealing. By removing names, you make the reader have less of an idea if your guide is trustworthy or not. For instance, if you see someone such as Person_Random in the title, you'll know they've written guides before, and therefore can be more trusted. If you remove all descriptive words that may help the reader understand what your guide is about, they will not want to click it! So just go through your title once again and remove and names or adjectives.

 

In this step, also remove words that make it sound more official, such as "the". I'm going to change the word "the" in the title for "my" in this instance, but try to avoid using that word also, as it can be used to seem authoritative or smart.

(It's starting to take its final shape. 6/10)

 

You might be thinking:

It's already so bad! What do you mean 6/10?! 

 

Well, my friend, titles can be MUCH, MUCH worse. 

 

Part D; Symbols, Emojis/Emoticons, and Notes

 

You've reached a point where your guide title is so unappealing people might just get interested. Our goal now is to make it seem like either we are EXTREMELY uneducated, or we are simply a troller. We're gonna aim for the latter, since uneducated people can be educated, but trollers will never change unwillingly.

 

So, how does one make a title as simple as "my guide" seem more troll-y? Well, firstly, we must add on to the title with "notes". Some examples of notes are things such as (cool), (check it out!), or the best kind, any form of the infamous (pls approve my piece moderator) note. We're going to use the third one.

 

After you have a note, you have to add symbols to said note. Usually try to stick to symbols that have at least some sort of correlation, don't just spam random symbols, even if that sounds counter-intuitive. I tend to stick with exclamation marks dotted with the occasional question mark.

 

Another way to make your title look amazing is with emoticons and emojis. These will show the moderators you are professional and know what you are doing. Any emoji or emoticon works in this scenario, any will get your point across -- you are a professional.

 

We're nearly at perfection... 8/10

 

Part F AND FINAL PART FOR TITLE: Spelling

 

Your title is lacking a topic, grammar, and nearly everything appealing about it. The problem is, though, is that the spelling, whilst not properly capitalized, is still correct. We need to fix this. In any way you want, purposefully misspell words and "accidentally" forget to press shift sometimes whilst typing the symbols. After you do this, your title should be beautiful, and you should be ready to move on!

 

I-It's beautiful. I've been staring at it for five hours now. 11/10

 

 

 

Alright, we've finished the title. You now have an absolutely, amazing, beautiful, revolting title. But a guide can't be a guide without any content! So now, we go on to our next step on how not to write a guide.

 

 

STEP TWO: Content

 

Instead of showing you how to make the worst content possible, I'm instead going to show you some tips that not only tell you how to make a horrible guide, but allow you to have some writing freedom. 

 

 

Tip ONE: Fonts

 

When you're in the editor, you can look on the top and just left of the center, you will see a box with the word "Font" in it and a drop down menu.

 

 

This allows you to change what font you type in, and if you try hard enough, you can get some ABSOLUTELY amazing font combinations. One of my favorites is the combination of "Comic Sans MS" and "Courier New". These two fonts are so different, if you try to add them together and sprinkle some other fonts (if you want), it's nearly impossible to type something to look nice.

 

"When using Wasp, you have to remember that it has low health."

 

But you are limited with the fonts provided by the Forum. If you really want to make your guide unreadable, look no further than Google (or whatever search engine you use). The internet has a bunch of fonts that are absolutely absurd, and the best can be found if you look up "cool fonts".  Some of these fonts are so incredibly horrible, it makes me cry with happiness. And with the right fonts, you can make the example above look like a normal sentence.

 

"₩Ⱨ?n҉  υѕιиɢ աᏗᏕᎮ, ??ㄩ 卄卂Ꮙꍟ ꓅ꆂ ⱤɆ₥e҉m҉b҉ёя ???ȶ ᎥᏖ ꁝꋬֆ LФա ɦεმlནh."

 

Look at that. Now imagine a whole PAGE filled with text that looks like that. Isn't it beautiful? It brings a tear to my eye. But that's only what I could do in limited time. I'm willing to bet some of you can create things much worse than that, even with how bad that is.

 

Tip TWO: Colors

 

You've probably noticed that gray isn't the only color being used in this. We've used orange and blue too, but there's a large array of colors at your disposal. With the right combinations, you can once again make your guide unreadable.

 

When using Wasp, you have to remember it has low health.

 

Now you might notice that you can't read from after the N in "using" to "you". This is because the black text color almost perfectly matches the background, making it effectively invisible. This might seem like a good idea on paper, but if you do this you won't be able to see what you are writing, and that can lead to some mistakes even you don't want in your guide.

 

Use this to change your text color:

 

 

Tip THREE: Bold, Italics, Strikethrough, etc.

 

If you look left of the colors, you'll see a series of buttons, which should look like this: 

In order, from left to right, this is what they do.

Bold: Bolds your text

Italics: Italicizes your text

Underline: Underlines your text

Strikethrough: Puts a strike right through your text

Subscript: Puts your text as a subscript -- it's smaller and slightly below the normal text

Superscript: ^{Like subscript, but on the top instead of the bottom}

 

If you combine these text editors in the right way, you have no limits. The combination of strikethrough and alternating sub and superscripts is particularly bad:

 

_W^h_eⁿ  _u^s_iⁿ_g  ^W_a^s_p^, _y^o_u ^h_av_e ^t_o ^r_e^m_e^m_b^e_r ⁱ_t ^h_a^s _l^o_w  ^h_e^a_l^t_h^.

Isn't that beautiful? If you add some bold and italic there, it gets even worse. It's amazing what you can do with the text editor, isn't it? But we're not done. I'd say most of these are child's play compared to what is possible with what I'm going to show you next. Brace yourselves, get your eyes ready, and have fun, because we're going to now head over to the formatting.

 

If you look over on the right side of the editor this time, you will see this: 

Using these, you can change where the text appears on the page. For the example sentences, if I want it in the middle, I would click this:     Although the text is by default on the left side on the screen, as you can see in this guide. Using this, you can make your text jump across the screen, and in my opinion, also make it the worst looking yet. I'm not going to say the whole sentence, this time I'm only gonna say "Hi!"

 

H

i

!

 

Isn't that bad, but also beautiful? Even though I can't see you, I can tell you're getting emotional. I'm also not going to use all of the tips in one sentence, as practically anything I'd say would not only be unreadable even for me, but it would take up too much of the page. There's still a lot more little things that didn't make it into any of the sections, but are too small to have their own section, such as the Quoting mechanism. Feel free to explore those too, if you want, or you can use the tips I've provided here.

 

That's all the tips for the "Content" section of your guide! Feel free to use, mix, and match these tips however you please to make your guide as horrendous as possible! Because don't forget the Lose motto: "The best guide is a broken guide"! Now let us move on to our final step of our guide.

 

STEP THREE: Responding

 

When you finish your guide, you should now submit it by clicking the green button at the bottom of your screen. It should look something like this:

    

Once you click that, your newly "horrendified" guide will be submitted to the AWS helpers for review. If or when they approve it, they might have made some significant changes that make the guide actually look readable. Which is absolutely horrifying. But even though they ruined your perfectly good guide, you shouldn't chew them out in PMs or just in the chat. It only makes you susceptible to a ban, and if you're banned, you can't make more guides! So even if you now hate that certain AWS helper forever for whatever reason, just keep it to yourself.

 

If people compliment you, at least accept it. Make sure you don't make yourself susceptible to a ban, and take in all the compliments that will be flooding in, and make some more beautiful pieces.

 

That's all the steps for the guide! You now how to make a perfect guide, and if you follow these Lose tried, tested, trusted, and true methods, you can make your own guide just as horrendous as you could ever dream. Now go out there and make the worst guide possible! 

 

_{The Lose foundation does not condone any and all forms of violence towards any AWS helpers, Tanki helpers, and human beings in general.} 

_{The Lose foundation also does not recommend taking this guide seriously.}

 

 

 

~Lose

 

this realy made my day 

from                                                                                             the first word until the last it is                                                     g o r i f y i n g      f   u    n    y

@Lose you probably have put a few hour's in ti this to make it ?

 

If  i see this 2 topics i would chose to see the 1st one haha

 

Edited June 19, 2020 by yasgfgfffgf

[yasgfgfffgf 282]

1 hour ago, SHREYA88 said:

That was nonsense!

Mods, brace yourselves!

For the Lose-Army Guides await you...

(Do they?)

it would be great to see more of this 

[Venem 615]

30 minutes ago, yasgfgfffgf said:

it would be great to see more of this 

yep.

sadly, I'm not as skilled as @Lose... Maybe I'll make such a fantastic guide to baffle the mods in my next birth...

[yasgfgfffgf 282]

3 minutes ago, SHREYA88 said:

yep.

sadly, I'm not as skilled as @Lose... Maybe I'll make such a fantastic guide to baffle the mods in my next birth...

( in my religion) this would be a miracle let stand that 

[Lose 881]

On 6/19/2020 at 5:11 AM, yasgfgfffgf said:

  Reveal hidden contents

 

this realy made my day 

from                                                                                             the first word until the last it is                                                     g o r i f y i n g      f   u    n    y

@Lose you probably have put a few hour's in ti this to make it ?

 

If  i see this 2 topics i would chose to see the 1st one haha

 

The power of inspect element

[3dL 454]

Very cool, you have great ideas we look forward to more from you.

[yasgfgfffgf 282]

so @Lose when is your next master piece comming ;   ). cant wait for it. your humor is exatly what makes me laugh

[r_trooll15 827]

Love Tⁱ!!1! 

From now on, i will always be writing like this.

[Lose 881]

5 hours ago, yasgfgfffgf said:

so @Lose when is your next master piece comming ;   ). cant wait for it. your humor is exatly what makes me laugh

Thank you!

 

Well my next piece should be the next part of the Darkness series, but I'm always trying to include humor (no matter how dry) in every piece!

[yasgfgfffgf 282]

2 hours ago, Lose said:

Thank you!

 

Well my next piece should be the next part of the Darkness series, but I'm always trying to include humor (no matter how dry) in every piece!

i will look if i can find those that alreadt exist. dry humor is also humor  ;  )

[Venerable 2,967]

Oh this brings back memories... funny to the core!

[readyfireaim 369]

Than_{k y} ou for bumping t^hiss#!!

• It jusst
• made my day

i ewwa^n_t too write a guide NOW@..

[Incorp 2,084]

Wow..... I was laughing hard @Lose you are definitely one of the few left with the old humor of the ancient reporters. Like @hogree I'm sure he wrote the how to eat potato, chicken, or onion guide. One of the guides. Wish the good legend writers like tweezers or grandexecutioner are still here...

[Lose 881]

Seeing as I never was a reporter, I truly appreciate the compliment. Thank you!

1 hour ago, Incorp said:

Wow..... I was laughing hard @Lose you are definitely one of the few left with the old humor of the ancient reporters. Like @hogree I'm sure he wrote the how to eat potato, chicken, or onion guide. One of the guides. Wish the good legend writers like tweezers or grandexecutioner are still here...