The Lose™️ Officially Unofficial Guide On Every Stereotype In a Parkour Battle And How To Combat Them

[Lose 881]

Hello! Welcome back to another Lose guide! Today, we will be talking about stereotypes. Specifically, stereotypes in parkour battles and how to combat them! Ever met an annoying miner, a funny troll, or a gold box beggar in a parkour battle? Want to know how you should get rid of them? Well, you've come to the right place! Using these tried, trusted, tested, and true methods, you will now be an expert in every parkour battle you join.

 

Scenario One: The Normal Person

The title is self-explanatory. This is the kind of person who would join a parkour battle to do what it is intended for -- parkour. You'll find a lot of these people either using other tankers as ramps or acting as a ramp themselves, in an attempt to conquer buildings. However, they aren't experts at parkour! And, due to their lack of skill, they often end up failing the stunt. It's quite entertaining to watch, but more entertaining to partake in. Try to learn some new skills!

The everyday parkourist will find himself in this situation more often than not -- better know where that self-destruct button is!

How to combat them: 

Most of the time, these parkourists will be using either Wasp or another light hull combined with a turret with recoil such as Ricochet, Hammer, Thunder, Railgun, or Magnum, just to name a few. Since they are most likely using a light hull, that means they probably do not have high health. High-damage, long range turrets such as Shaft, Gauss, and Railgun would be your best options. 

Why the long range, you ask? So you don't get sniped when they possibly fight back, of course! If you hide in the bushes or behind a building, you can easily pick them off one by one without having to risk being in a vulnerable position yourself. Just in case they DO spot you, be prepared and equip a heavy hull. 
 

The section below will tell you all the statistics related to this stereotype. Allow me to explain the terms.
Ease of Kill -- How easy it is to kill said stereotype.

Recommendation to kill -- How much I'd recommend killing the stereotype.
Recommended combination for kill -- What combination I'd recommend using to kill said stereotype.

 

SCENARIO ONE STATISTICS:
Ease of kill -- 3/10
Recommendation to kill - 1/10
Recommended combination for kill - Mammoth + Shaft

Related stereotypes: The Professional OMPist, The Professional Parkour Team, The Parkour Advocate

 

 

 

Scenario Two: The Drugger

We all know this kind of player. He usually likes to join parkour battles with Mammoth or Titan coupled with Striker or Gauss, using more supplies in 15 minutes than I'd use in a month. Be warned: if you accidentally shoot this person for whatever reason, may it be a parkour trick misfire or a faulty discharge, there is a high chance they will never forgive you, killing you repeatedly for over twenty minutes. Sometimes you don't even have to irk them for these people to decide to kill you! They might be targeting all Wasps, all Hornets, or maybe they just don't like people.

Common reasons they may be spamming supplies would be to improve their K/D for a clan, or it possibly might just be a way for them to kill time. Whatever the reason may be, almost all of us can agree these players are extremely annoying.

 

A wild drug-war in action. Notice how all combatants are using Mammoth or Titan, and almost all of them are using Striker. Obviously everyone has full supplies equipped.

 

 

How to combat them:

If you want to combat this stereotype, proceed at your own risk. They will probably never forgive you or forget the moment you killed them. Push that boundary; that is how I would recommend defeating them. 

 

For these tactics, we're going to visit the popular parkour map Silence. What you're going to need is to wait until the targeted drugger is somewhere around one of these areas.

Wait until they are in one of the spots in the red circle(s), then get onto the wall behind the blue base for the first image, or the house as pictured in the second image. Once situated there, make sure you have an adequate number of mines. When ready, jump off, spamming your mine hotkey as fast as humanly possible. If done right, the amount of damage will be so substantial that it should be a guaranteed kill. If it isn't a kill, be patient, struggle to survive, and attempt the move again. Try to catch them off guard!

Another strategy that could work to kill this stereotype is to fight fire with fire. Equip their combo, get a massive amount of supplies, and fight to the death. You might not win, but at least you won't die without trying, and that's better than nothing... I guess?

 

SCENARIO TWO STATISTICS:
Ease of Kill -- 9/10
Recommendation to kill - 7/10
Recommended combination for kill - Wasp + Any Gun With Recoil/Their Combination

Related stereotypes: The Miner, The Troll, The Annoying One, The Gameplayer

 

Scenario Three: The Miner

 

Commonly mistaken for the drugger, the miner stereotype is very common in parkour battles. Unlike druggers, who may have multiple reasons to kill everyone, most miners only have one incentive: to improve their K/D. If you look at a miner's profile, you will often see he/she has a K/D of at least 10.00, has many hours played but not much EXP, and has an unholy amount of mines used. While druggers hold grudges and may never forgive you for the smallest of things, miners are generally more laid back and forgiving, sometimes even showing signs of being negotiable. 

 

An image of a miner placing thousands and thousands of mines in a single battle.

 

How to combat them:

Miners are similar to druggers in the sense that they will often have all supplies activated at once. To a certain extent, the methods used to combat the drugger should also work here. The difficult part about defeating miners is that they are constantly moving. This makes it much more difficult to time your jumps in such a way to effectively drop airmines. You could potentially try to fight fire with fire yet again, but if they've already started mining, there isn't much hope for you.

 

SCENARIO THREE STATISTICS:
Ease of Kill -- 10/10
Recommendation to kill - 7/10
Recommended combination for kill - Wasp + Any Gun With Recoil/Their Combination (Same as drugger)

Related stereotypes: The Drugger, The Troll, The Annoying One, The Gameplayer

 

Scenario Four: The Professional OMPist

This is the kind of person you see in a battle, and you don't think much of it. You then proceed on your merry way, going about your normal parkour romp.A few minutes pass, and suddenly you perceive that same person on the top of a tall building or prop. A professional OMPist (One Man Parkour) might leave others questioning how he/she did it, and what they themselves are doing wrong. Usually these people are glad to help aspiring parkourists, whether they be a team or a solo player. 

If you look at the profile of one of these OMPists, you'll notice how their Wasp is probably Mk1. In addition, they have a bunch of speed boosts and double armors used, as well as having many hours in the game, but very low exp gained. Don't let that fool you. These sky-high tankers are still as skilled in the battlefield as others, just maybe not with an Mk1 Wasp (probably for the better). Who uses Wasp anymore in MM battles anyway? (COUGHS)

If you're ever flying through the sky, launched by a buddy or launching a buddy, always be careful and look around the stratosphere for any rogue tanks using self-propulsion. We don't need more mid-air collisions messing up the air we share.

 

An OMPist is spotted standing on the building they rightfully claimed via self-propulsion. 

 

How to combat them:

The Professional OMPist is similar to the normal player stereotype in many ways. The Shaft + Mammoth/Titan method for the first stereotype should work effectively in this scenario. However, it might be slightly more difficult to hit them as they are commonly seen going through the clouds at velocities higher than Tanki intended for. 

Another method that could work is by simply combing them or employing other forms of melee combat. Try the drugger combat method! Try just placing some strategic mines! Become the miner stereotype, then combat yourself! There are a lot of ways you could kill an OMPist, but the best is probably still sniping them with a long range, high-damage turret.

 

SCENARIO FOUR STATISTICS:
Ease of Kill -- 6/10
Recommendation to kill - 2/10
Recommended combination for kill - Any Long Range And High Damage Turret with a Heavy Hull

Related stereotypes: The Professional Parkour Team, The Normal Player, The Parkour Advocate

 

Scenario Five: The Professional Parkour Team

You just finished dealing with someone doing OMP, but now he has recruited friends. The amount of flying tanks has increased exponentially, and now it's even more annoying to deal with. Usually these parkour teams are in the same clan, a dedicated parkour clan, but just seeing some friends messing around is also a common sight. There really isn't much more to say about this stereotype regarding it's overview. It is basically just the OMPist but with more people.

 

A team of two conquering a tower in Silence.

 

How to combat them:

To combat a team of parkourists, I would recommend employing some variation of the dive bomb tactic, but with the Wasp overdrive. Use the same setup as if you were going to mine a drugger, but use your NO2 bomb instead. This will deal a massive amount of damage in a large radius. While this method does have its flaws, it's overall one of the most effective ways to get rid of a parkour team.

Another way you can combat them is by using one of the many splash damage turrets. Striker and Gauss work best for this situation, giving a high damage and splash radius. While you might not get all of them, you will probably be able to kill a few if they're all working together on a parkour stunt. 

Firebird may also work well in this situation. However, as a melee turret, Firebird's range is short enough that they might catch on quite quickly to what your intentions are.
 

SCENARIO FIVE STATISTICS:
Ease of Kill -- 5/10
Recommendation to kill - 2/10
Recommended combination for kill - Wasp, Gauss, Thunder, or Striker.

Related stereotypes: The Professional OMPist, The Normal Player, The Parkour Advocate

 

Scenario Six: The Gameplayer

This stereotype is a bit less common but very noticeable. The Gameplayer stereotype is where a person seems not to realize he is in a parkour battle and only strives to complete the gamemode incentive, whether that be capturing flags, caputing points, or scoring goals. In Team Deathmatch and Deathmatch modes The Gameplayer might be commonly mistaken for a drugger, but in other gamemodes it's very apparent. They might spend 30 minutes capturing flags for Red base, and then realize later on that all their hard work was a waste of time. It's very annoying to see someone waste a spot on your team in order to capture flags for the whopping reward of nothing.

While this stereotype doesn't do anything inherently BAD, per say, but it's rather annoying and makes you wonder how old these players really are. He might be eight years old, have no clue what's going on, and is just trying to do what he learned 15 minutes ago in his first battle. On the other side of the spectrum, it might be a grown man trolling others for his own enjoyment. Either way, it is annoying to see.

 

A gameplayer going about his business capturing flags for the sweet reward of nothing.

 

 

How to combat them: 

This is one of the most difficult stereotypes to fight, purely because these people don't have a set theme. They could be capturing flags using any kind of combination, so it's not easy to tell what you should do in order to win a fight against them. 

Personally, I'd suggest using Shaft coupled with either Mammoth or Titan in order to deal a snipe shot with as much damage as possible. You could also use Striker, Gauss, the Wasp NO2 bomb, dive mine bombing, or basically any other form you think would work better. If you're more experienced with a certain combination or if it is more upgraded and therefore can do more damage, then by all means use that combo. This applies for every stereotype that is going to be explained and that has already been explained.

 

SCENARIO SIX STATISTICS:
Ease of Kill -- 10/10
Recommendation to kill - 7/10
Recommended combination for kill - Any Long Range And High Damage Turret with a Heavy Hull

Related stereotypes: The Troll, The Annoying One, The Drugger, The Miner

 

Scenario Seven: The AFKer

For whatever reason, this kind of person decides that his best option would be to join a parkour battle but then do nothing, and as a consequence he gets kicked. Maybe they had some stuff to do or maybe they just forgot, but whatever the reason may be, it doesn't alter the fact that it's a hassle to have a lump of metal under the guise of a player on your team. 

 

An AFKer will often see this screen when they eventually return to Tanki.

 

How to combat them:

I mean, there isn't really much you can do. They're gonna get kicked anyways within the next two minutes, so why waste your time by attempting to kill these people? My suggestion to combat them is... to not combat them. Let these guys get disconnected themselves. If other people want to kill them then that's fine, but please do not waste your time on someone who will be gone within the next couple minutes, at best.

 

SCENARIO SEVEN STATISTICS:
Ease of Kill -- 0/10
Recommendation to kill - 0/10
Recommended combination for kill - Time

Related stereotypes: The Troll, The Annoying One

 

Scenario Eight: The Gold Beggar

This is a stereotype that is nearly as old as Tanki itself. A gold beggar will join a battle and... beg for golds! I bet you didn't see that one coming!

Moving on to a more serious topic, this kind of player is very aggravating. The only kind of people who seem to actually support gold beggars are other gold beggars, and that's still a stretch. If you join a battle of any kind, whether it be MM or PRO, you have a 50% chance of coming across one of these players.

A gold beggar doing what they do best. Beg.

How to combat them:

Often these gold beggars will be using Wasp combined with a high recoil turret. Wanna know what Wasp doesn't have? Health. Wanna know what Shaft removes? Health. Simply get Shaft, some double damages, and perhaps the adrenaline augment, if possible. Find the gold beggar and absolutely destroy their tank.

Another way to get rid of gold beggars is to use your handy Wasp overdrive. Simply catch them off guard and deal about a million damage in less than a nanosecond. Get an autoclicker and spam 5 at 100 times per second, dealing even more damage than a thirty-nine person Railgun kill with Hyperspeed Rounds would.

I may or may not have a bias against gold beggars. 

 

SCENARIO EIGHT STATISTICS:
Ease of Kill -- 0/10
Recommendation to kill - 10/10
Recommended combination for kill - Shaft, Wasp

Related stereotypes: The Troll, The Annoying One, The Gold Dropper

 

Scenario Nine: The Troll

Everybody knows the classic parkour troll. This is the kind of person that purposefully knocks someone off-course during a stunt. It's the kind of person to flip people over just for the sake of it. We all know them. Sometimes they're gems and are great to watch, while other times they're just annoying. There are a few well known trolls, and they come in different styles. There are trolls who reside mainly in the chats, some who just like to focus on battles, and others who like to troll on the Discord server or the Forum. They are always very easy to find if you look for them, and more often than not, they are experienced in the game. They know what they're doing.

 

A troll trolling by doing trolly troll things.

_{there's no image -- get trolled. hahahahaha get it??? get it???/???????/}

 

 

How to combat them:

Just like gameplayers, trolls come in many shapes and sizes, so apply the same strategy as discussed earlier in regards to the gameplayer stereotype. Just as a recap -- feel free to use whatever combination you want, but I would recommend either Shaft and a heavy hull, or Shaft with adrenaline and your lightest hull.

 

 

SCENARIO NINE STATISTICS:
Ease of Kill -- 6/10
Recommendation to kill - 5/10
Recommended combination for kill - Any Long Range And High Damage Turret with a Heavy Hull

Related stereotypes: The Annoying One, The Parkour Advocate

 

Scenario Ten: The Annoying One

Somewhere in between a miner and a drugger, but similar to a troll, we have the annoying one. This is the kind of person that the trolls themselves stop whatever they're doing in order to potentially stop them or shut them up. Often these annoying tankers will use offensive jokes, spam, etc. to push others over the edge. They love to cause chaos in the parkour battlefield. 

If you ever meet an annoying one, brace yourself. They will not stop until they get what they intend to, going to greater lengths than you expect. You might find yourself thinking: They wouldn't say a homophobic joke here! It's extremely rude and discriminating, and the moderators won't allow it! A couple minutes later and the chat is full of the same homophobic joke copied, pasted, and spammed. Plus they don't get banned for it most of the time.

 

Someone being annoying and spamming the chat. Spamming "bad update" is actually pretty common.

 

How to combat them:

Go the gold beggar route. Destroy them (at your own risk). Burn, shoot, explode, freeze, laser, snipe. Do anything you possibly can that would stop them. It's annoying, rude, and overall not smart to be this kind of person. Please don't be!

 

SCENARIO TEN STATISTICS:
Ease of Kill -- 5/10
Recommendation to kill - 11/10
Recommended combination for kill - Whatever Does The Most Damage

Related stereotypes: The Troll, The Parkour Advocate, The Miner, The Drugger

 

Scenario Eleven: The Gold Dropper

A less common stereotype, "The Gold Dropper" is the Santa of this list. They join battles and, for whatever reason, decide to drop golds. Sometimes they ask for permission, sometimes they don't. Occasionally, the golds are spread out, but most of the time it's a chaotic spam. When I encounter these kinds of players, the only question I really have for them is "Why?". Why waste all those golds? I often leave with more questions than I started with.

 

A gold dropper asking permission before dropping a gold box.

 

How to combat them:

Say yes. Tell them to drop their golds. Let them waste their money since you don't even have to put effort in for the person to be at a loss. But that isn't really fun to do, is it? You can always just equip your handy Shaft and snipe them from across the map. But then would that make you the drugger? Would you then have to self-destruct, or get someone else to do it? But if you hire someone else, does that make THEM the drugger? 

SCENARIO ELEVEN STATISTICS:
Ease of Kill -- 1/10
Recommendation to kill - 3/10
Recommended combination for kill - Time

Related stereotypes: The Troll, The Gold Beggar, The Parkour Advocate, The Gameplayer

Things are confusing. Anyways, let us move on to the FINAL SCENARIO!
 

 

Scenario Twelve: The Parkour Advocate

The parkour advocate is the person who tries to get everybody else to stop doing non parkour things and attempt the actual goal. I am an avid parkour advocate (:flushed:). If you ever see me in a battle, there is a fifty percent chance that I am negotiating with the enemy to stop warfare. Parkour Advocates are the ones who often don't shoot or kill until shot at by others. They are never seeking to initiate a fight. 

 

 

Me negotiating with the enemy.

 

How to combat them:
Get Shaft, the Adrenaline augment (if possible), a heavy hull, and some double damages. Another option is to just simply ask them to stop, since that works 100% of the time.

 

SCENARIO TWELVE STATISTICS:
Ease of Kill -- 4/10
Recommendation to kill - 0/10
Recommended combination for kill - Shaft, or Asking Nicely

Related stereotypes: The Normal Player, The Professional OMPist, The Professional Parkour Team

 

 

Remember, these recommended combinations to kill can be switched, mixed, and matched to fit your playing preferences or other restrictions you may have.

 

And that's it for this Lose guide! Hopefully these tried, tested, trusted, and true methods will help you in every parkour battle situation you come across! Just make sure you have Shaft. Stay tuned for the next article, coming out when I write it! 

 

 

 

~Lose
^{(P.S. School is starting, and I'm probably going to be slightly to significantly less active as a result. I'll still try to get out something once a month but it might be difficult.)}

 

[Pythor 1,354]

Article Approved!

 

Today, Lose brings us a hilariously relatable guide outlining the various types of players you will experience in parkour battles. I had a few laughs myself while editing the article! Which stereotypes do you run across the most often? Which ones do you sometimes embody? Let us know!

 

Edits -

Spoiler

- Rephrased various areas of text

- Removed/inserted commas

- Humor was on point! However, the article as a whole seemed a bit sloppy and pretty raw editing wise. It could have used an extra proofread to eliminate some confusing areas. Remember, reading the piece out loud to yourself is the best way to uncover both grammar mistakes and logical flaws. Always put yourself in the shoes of the reader. 

Overall though, great job!

 

[Venem 615]

Oh just fantabulistic!!! Really, it was hilarious!

Awesome, bro!

Spoiler

What have the gold droppers done to you??? Be happy, catch golds, and buy supplies. Enjoy parkour. and leave gold droppers alone. No, I am not a gold dropper.

 

[DRAKO523 795]

This was amazing, loved it.

[Viking4s 10,791]

Pls don't encourage killing in Parkour format!
the annoying spammer - just hit the ignore button, that kills their voice, and it is faster and more efficient.

 

Otherwise very entertaining. well done.

[tankicola 111]

A great and hilarious guide! 

Spoiler

Not many people know this, but if you equip mechanic drone and have a lot of mines and repair kits, and spam 1 and 5 together, you can even survive viking overdrive with no double armour on! ( It spams repair without the cooldown.) 

 

[AncientFire 1,894]

wow i cant believe i haven't seen this one before

it was for once an article that i actually could read if it went on forever + media use was on point

[Benefactor 6,888]

That was great! But I think the Ease-of-Kill scale might be reversed.

And why would you kill a Gold Dropper?

[Lose 881]

23 hours ago, pythor20000 said:

Article Approved!

 

Today, Lose brings us a hilariously relatable guide outlining the various types of players you will experience in parkour battles. I had a few laughs myself while editing the article! Which stereotypes do you run across the most often? Which ones do you sometimes embody? Let us know!

 

Edits -

  Reveal hidden contents

- Rephrased various areas of text

- Removed/inserted commas

- Humor was on point! However, the article as a whole seemed a bit sloppy and pretty raw editing wise. It could have used an extra proofread to eliminate some confusing areas. Remember, reading the piece out loud to yourself is the best way to uncover both grammar mistakes and logical flaws. Always put yourself in the shoes of the reader. 

Overall though, great job!

 

Thanks for the criticism! I'll work on that more in my future pieces.

15 hours ago, SHREYA88 said:

Oh just fantabulistic!!! Really, it was hilarious!

Awesome, bro!

  Reveal hidden contents

What have the gold droppers done to you??? Be happy, catch golds, and buy supplies. Enjoy parkour. and leave gold droppers alone. No, I am not a gold dropper.

 

Thanks for the kind words and the great word fantabulistic!

15 hours ago, DRAKO523 said:

This was amazing, loved it.

Thank you!

13 hours ago, Viking4s said:

Pls don't encourage killing in Parkour format!
the annoying spammer - just hit the ignore button, that kills their voice, and it is faster and more efficient.

 

Otherwise very entertaining. well done.

But hitting ignore isn't as fun to do as take revenge on them

13 hours ago, tankicola said:

A great and hilarious guide! 

  Reveal hidden contents

Not many people know this, but if you equip mechanic drone and have a lot of mines and repair kits, and spam 1 and 5 together, you can even survive viking overdrive with no double armour on! ( It spams repair without the cooldown.) 

 

Thanks for the tip! I might use it in the future.

11 hours ago, sarim2345_the_master said:

wow i cant believe i haven't seen this one before

it was for once an article that i actually could read if it went on forever + media use was on point

Thank you!

7 hours ago, Benefactor said:

That was great! But I think the Ease-of-Kill scale might be reversed.

And why would you kill a Gold Dropper?

I made the Ease-of-Kill scale so the higher the number, that means that stereotype is more difficult to kill. For gold droppers, I personally don't know why either, but I know some people out there who hate gold droppers and perhaps they'll see this. 

[Sacrifice 2,278]

Awesome!

Just a side note though:

I generally feel that following colors are best for the dark theme of the forum:

Bright Blue

Amethyst

Vivid Yellow/ Orange/ Carrot

Bright Silver/ Light grey/ White

Emerald

Basically, all the light bright colors are good. Other colors look nice too, but sometimes they appear hard on the eyes However, good job in formatting this piece. Keep it up!

[Benefactor 6,888]

17 hours ago, Lose said:

I made the Ease-of-Kill scale so the higher the number, that means that stereotype is more difficult to kill. For gold droppers, I personally don't know why either, but I know some people out there who hate gold droppers and perhaps they'll see this. 

Oh I see. You meant how difficult it is to kill. Because I thought a 10/10 Ease-to-kill meant one-shot from any turret and 0/10 is like GodMode_ON.

[Lose 881]

2 hours ago, Benefactor said:

Oh I see. You meant how difficult it is to kill. Because I thought a 10/10 Ease-to-kill meant one-shot from any turret and 0/10 is like GodMode_ON.

Ah, I should have clarified that in the guide.

[Venerable 2,968]

This piece is timeless. I still smile and chuckle whenever I read this "guide"...