Trials of Heaven - The Mountain

[natrolite 1,049]

The road hasn't been what I expected, not one bit. I believed I was in for dances with the dead, bouts with beasts, and sleepless nights. Instead, I found myself walking in timberlands of alien design. Plants and roses that escape my knowledge and shock my eyes. Fruits I've never eaten dangling from trees dancing in the eastern winds. Drinking from springs brimming with gemstones of sapphire, jade, and pearls. It was beauty I understood but had never seen before. 

The more I walked, the surer I was of my destination, and the more hopeful I was of reaching the mountaintop.

"If this is the road to heaven, what will heaven look like?" I thought to myself. 

It's been nearly two months since I embarked on my journey. Two months since I bid him farewell, that melancholy man with ember eyes. I vaguely remember what he looked like, and can barely recall the somber tone of his voice. I do, however, vividly remember his broken smile; it haunts me in my slumbers now and then.

Ramiel's is an expression I never want to wear as my own. 

I often contemplate the irony of that smile. Despite his best efforts, it shows the exact opposite of what he intends to convey. It shows his pain and dread at worst and helplessness and despair at best. And come to think of it, when do smiles ever really mean what they're meant to express? Often they're meant to deceive, manipulate, mock, and hide one's pain. It's ever so rare to catch genuine joy, translated through an honest smile. 

The road, despite its wonder, was lonely. Often, I find myself conversing with my ego. Conversations, at times, goes on for days. Some of these have helped me discover what I've already known but did not realize. Some of them have dissuaded me from what I thought was right. I stopped dreaming at a certain point in the journey. I blamed my subconscious for this - deeming dreams unnecessary since I was practically living in one. Sleep wasn't for resting anymore. It felt like a hindrance and an obstacle slowing my ascent to the end goal.

Then, one day, as I, with will and stick, was making my way through the woods, I came across a wanderer. He was sitting in the shade of a large tree covered with glamorous red leaves. His back was to the trunk and his head towards the clouds. He seemed.. at peace. Suspicious as my nature dictates, I was cautious at first. However, at this point I was just happy I had found someone to talk to; I was growing tired of myself. So there I stood with a half-dropped jaw, glaring at him and squinting my eyes in disbelief.

With a concerned manner, he stood up and asked if I was alright.

"Umm, yes, I am. Thank you." I responded.

He introduced himself as Nirvana. He was a man of my height and appeared aged, yet possessed a youthful spirit. He walked out of the tree's shade as a renegade batch of the Sun's rays escaped through a hole in the mantle of clouds. The golden light burst from the previously shielded heavens and reflected off his blond hair, giving off the illusion of a divine fire burning atop his temple. Aided by his gleaming red eyes, he appeared but a dragon in human form.

His appearance reminded me of who I had wanted to become when I was younger - a man who'd go dancing on a whim under the moonlight, and a man who'd choose to live his own life, not the life chosen for him. For I had had one fear as a boy - to be sixty with a life full of regrets and to find out youth is wasted on the young.

"May I ask your name?" he said. 

While I tried my best not to show it, my name, I realized, I did not know.

"I'm sorry, I must be a little distraught at the moment," I muttered. "Perhaps a little walk might clear my confusion."

He nodded.

As we walked through the woods, he explained his story - which seemed strikingly similar to mine. He descended from the forth gate and was also headed for the House of Wisdom at the summit of the mountain.

"How long have you been here?" I asked.

"I've only begun my ascent today, actually," he replied. 

"Oh? As luck may have it, you seem to have found a companion on your first day! I've been my own company for nearly two months."

"I see. It must've been lonely."

"It was. I'm relieved to finally find someone to dispel all the lonesome hours. It's comforting."

That's when he shifted his gaze away from mine and looked forward, displaying a smile that I've not seen in my recent remembering. It was kind - unclouded with no hidden meaning. It helped me find my own which I believed I had lost somewhere down the mountain.

The days went on. Accompanied by a friend, I now had renewed hope of reaching the peak. We walked around alien-like landscapes and picturesque woodlands. We heard songs of birds we've never witnessed before. Our conversations, at times, went on for days. We helped each other find meaning in matters that, before embarking on our respective journeys, we had deemed trivial. Other times we aided one another in altering what had previously been true north for our moral compasses.

Somewhere along the road, I began to notice anomalies in Nirvana's behavior. Well, anomalies might be understating it. I never notice him eat anything; he blames it on his lack of appetite. I never notice him sleeping; he just replies "I slept while you were sleeping." I never bother myself, however. I was just happy that there was someone to talk with, and I didn't want to scare him off with needless questions.

The mountaintop, which pierces through the clouds beyond the river Styx and kisses the edge of the sky, is now but a few days out of reach. And so, by dares of whim, we climbed. Step by step, another dreamless night after the one before, we enter the blanket of clouds shielding the summit.

"The heavens are waiting beyond this maze of fog, Nirvana!" I confidently shouted, as if I wanted the whole mountain below to know "We made it!"

With limbs and lungs exhausted and only two breaths left in me, I voiced my thoughts to Nirvana but did not hear a reply from my companion. I looked over my shoulder to see him standing still, hands by his side and his head looking upward towards the peak. His ruby eyes were opened wide, and his mouth was shut. It wasn't the look of admiration, hope, or desire. I knew something was wrong. 

"What's the matter? We're nearly there!" I shouted with the last of my two breaths. 

"What do you think is up there?" He said, with a calm tone. 

"Well, the House of Wisdom. No?" I replied.

"And? We'll just walk in and that's it? Don't you think there's more to it?"

"What do you mean?" 

"For people like us, we're sinners. We came for a slim chance to enter heaven. Do you think it'll be this easy..? Woodlands, gemstone-ridden springs, trees with strange fruits and roses with colors we don't have names for. What's the test? I knew the mountain was no obstacle course, but there were no obstacles at all. Don't you find that strange?"

This was the first time I had experienced doubt regarding my destination since I bid the demon farewell. 

"But I was told I need to reach the summ-" 

"To hell with what Ramiel said!" He interrupted.

"Was that his name? Ramiel?" I had forgotten. "More importantly, how did he remember?" I thought to myself. 

"You knew him?" I asked. I hardly had any visible expression on my face. I just looked him dead in his eyes. 

"He's the one who leads the damned here, no?" 

The sun was starting to set, and the air had already begun growing cold. After a few brief moments of silence, I spoke. "I'm going, with or without you. But I sincerely hope you make the right decision and come with me, lest you'd be stuck here for God knows how long."

"And what if you don't find anything? What if it's all for nothing?" He questions. 

I'd never seen him this doubtful. Usually, he's the type to walk in before knocking on the door. Now, he's hesitant to finish this journey. After a moment of silence, I spoke to comfort him. "I'd rather go and find out there's nothing rather than stay here and wonder what heavens lie behind this grey curtain." 

He finally turned his gaze to meet mine, his face sincere. He speaks, "Young man, what is it you want from heaven, really? This mountain has enough beauty to fill your eyes for a lifetime. Are you so bold to ask for more?"

"Nay," I said. "I wish to speak with him who knows more than any. I wish to understand why it is that I only seem to notice happiness when happiness is taken away from me. I need to know why fate's irony is so cruel as to only put to my liking that which I can't achieve, or make me desire that which I cannot have. He who lived through centuries may tell me why things are only as valuable as the gaping void they leave inside of you when they're gone. That was why I fell. That's the wisdom I hope to achieve."

"So you believe age is is the key to becoming some great sage, do you? You crave wisdom but fail to see where it springs from. You believe time's bitterness and anguish would make you know better next time? You fool. Even if by sheer chance you learn a lesson from suffering, by the time you're as wise as you hope to be, you'll be a broken man. Wisdom isn't necessarily understanding pain. You, like me, have undoubtedly encountered people in your past that are terribly clever, yet rottenly broken. If you believe wisdom is born out of distress, then it's not the wisdom that awaits once you venture on beyond these clouds.

I just don't understand. Why make a thing alive so it can suffer? Time and its sorrows hit us when no one asks for them. Misery falls at a pace so slow that one doesn't notice until one becomes something... one doesn't recognize. I cannot remember what is me and what isn't me. I've become a mystery to myself. Here on the mountain, it doesn't hurt. There's no crime, no cruelty, no loss - only grace and bliss. I don't want to risk what I have." 

Once he finished speaking, he surrendered his gaze back to the ground. Silence crept into the atmosphere. I saw in him the man I once was before my fall to the underworld - a man incapable of understanding the necessity of suffering. I walked down towards him, put my hand gently above his shoulders, and spoke softly;

"The road has been rough, huh? I know, trust me. Take my hand, and we'll have our try at one last pardon. Once we're there, let's go someplace and forget about life for a while. Every day's sharp edges will be a thing of the past, and then we'll okay. We'll enter alone, together, back into grace.  Come now, I'm weary from the path and would like to rest, for I've not in a long while."

And so, together, we march forth. Beyond the clouds, outside the damned kingdom, and onto heaven's doorstep. This was the first time blue skies had fallen upon my eyes since what felt like a lifetime. I let go of my companion's hand to cover my nose and mouth as my eyes begin to tear up. All the beauty I had seen on the mountain doesn't even begin to compare to this sky's graceful blue aura. The Sun was halfway set below the horizon, yet she still brightened the sky. It is her one last goodnight kiss before she delves into her evening slumber. I almost cannot believe I've witnessed this scenery every day of my life and have never once stopped to gaze at its wonder.

Stars above begin to appear, as if heaven was opening its doors, beckoning to me. I wiped my teary eyes and turned to Nirvana. "We made it, friend!" Or at least, that's what I would've said... had he been there. 

I looked around, on, and about the summit beneath and behind every rock and tree trunk for nearly an hour, but not a trace of him was to be found. "He must've gone back down." I thought. "Perhaps I can still catch him if I tread down a bit."

Just as I turned to descend the mountain, "Beautiful, aren't they, the stars!" A voice behind me remarked. I turned around to see a man I've never seen before. He sat in a squeaky chair with his face turned towards the heavens above. He had one leg raised above the other and a half-empty bottle in hand. 

"Who are you?" I inquired.

"So ancient and aged, yet they still exude an illuminating glow. After all these years they have never stopped shining. There's power in their pockets and ships in their seas," he said in a relieved, unbothered tone and a gentle - albeit drunken - smile. 

"Tell me, where are you going, lad, and why in such haste?" He asked.

"I'm afraid I don't have time for poetry. I must go find my friend," I said, turning around and beginning my trek downwards. I barely made my first steps when he spoke.

"Aye, but you're the only one on this mountain."

I stopped, frozen, eyes wide open. I pivoted my head and turned my shoulder towards him.

"Wha.. did you say something?

"My, what the years on this mountain have done to your old mind," the stranger responds.

"My old... what? Years? Listen, old man. I don't know who you are, but you clearly have the wrong guy."

"I've been expecting you, Nathan."

"Nat.. Nathan? That's my... name," I muttered. "How do you know my name?" It was at this point when reality began to set in and breathing suddenly became harder. It was as if something was crushing my chest. 

"Don't you get bored of asking that question? Haha! Haven't you met enough of us celestials to realize we know who you are?" he said with a laugh.

"Are you who I'm supposed to meet? Is this... my destination?" I asked, as I looked around the boulders, dead tree trunks, and short grass. 

"Well, you came here, didn't you? What is this if not your destination?" He responds.

"Right, and what's that thing you said about me being old? About the 'years on this mountain'? I've only been here for hardly three months and I'm of 32 years of age. Perhaps that bottle has relieved the sense from you, mhmm?" 

He replies sarcastically, "And yet you walk hunched and move slow, as I would expect of one in his eighties." 

"What..?" Said I, with a pompous smile of disbelief and pride as I raised my hands to my eyes. Horrified, I found the skin to be cracked, wrinkly and cold, or one might venture.. old.

Fear and reality made peace with each other and struck me simultaneously as lightning would strike Zues's enemies, wretched and villainous. I stepped back to get away from my own hand, or perhaps, I was trying to get away from reality. I struck a boulder in my haste. I looked towards his stale face, eyes squinting and mouth smirking, looking back at me with what seemed to be belittlement. 

"NO! This can't be!" I yelled. I was closer to the bottom of the mountain than I was to my youth. Or, one might argue, to my own sanity.

"What am I to do now?! Bow my head and close my eyes and accept this? You can't tell me that I've wasted the better part of my life chasing fog, or my own mind!" I yelled louder.

"And yet, you have. It's not your smile that you lost on the way here, Nathan, it's your mind. That's why you've forgotten your own name. That's why you kept talking to yourself for so long. Your mind spawned a friend of its own design - a hallucination. I'm afraid none of it was real, and you were too dazzled by the splendor of the odd trees, their peculiar fruit, and the songs of birds you've never seen." 

I stood there, pokered face, drawing in painful, heavy breaths and soaking in the lie I had apparently been living. Not long after I fell to my knees, cupped my wrinkly palms onto my face, and wept.

"Why weep?" He said, after sipping from his bottle. 

"I've lived in my own head for far too long. I've even forgotten who I am on the outside." I said with what was now a broken voice. For a moment I wanted to hold on to what was left of that voice as to not lose yet another part of me. "My youth, my mind, my name. Let me hold on to whatever I have left" I thought to myself. My legs started to ache as if my old bones were broken from years of walking. 

After a while, when I had let out my screams and dried up my tears, he turns his eyes away from the stars and looks at me from the sides of his sight. "Lost youth, perhaps. But you weren't alone, were you? Real or not, you've had a companion with whom you laughed and cried with. Perhaps the time you spent wasn't real, but it felt real. Hasn't it? Not to mention you've reached your destination. Granted it only took you around five decades, but you're here nonetheless. Surely the road had its bumps and trenches, but you still managed to get here."

I raise my eyes to glance at his, pain in my voice and ache in my heart. I asked, "Who are you, really?" 

He smiles and says "Heh, I'm but an old drunkard sitting on a mountaintop. A person who can't seem to find his own way down. So I've just been sitting here admiring the view." 

"And is this the famed House of Wisdom? I see nothing but rocks and boulders." I said, mockingly.

"Aye! It's but a man with an aged chair and a bottle that doesn't seem to end. Quite the recipe for eternal wisdom, don't you agree?" He chuckled and invited me to sit beside him and let the stars wash away our sorrows. I silently agreed, and we sat there for hours, looking at the stars in complete silence. Then, I finally spoke up and asked him, "Say, how long have you been here?" 

"Far too long, yet not long enough," He answers.

"What do you mean, 'not long enough'?" 

"I haven't seen all the stars yet." He replies.

"But you must've seen a lot, huh?" I follow.

"Aye. I've seen more than a man's fair share. I have stories I'll never be able to tell people, about people that don't exist anymore. I've named the stars I've seen based on the stories of the people I saw." 

"Stories, eh? Of what, may I ask?"

He stands up, looks over the edge of the mountain, and crouches. Taking a deep breath, he grins and says,

"Mhmm, well, I know stories about empires that went up and came down like the tides, every society unique in its infancy and completely unoriginal in its demise. I've seen the consequences when the sun and the moon combine. All of this from a mountain peeking from heaven's realm. 

I've seen men storm beaches and scorch the earth for motives  they don't believe in. I've seen wars that left nothing but lost souls in the current of their grievances and lost knowledge in the ashes after their flames. I've seen hope born out of despair - a man crossing the river of death and staring at a mountain far, far beyond his reach. You've come far, Nathan." 

The right words, at the time, alluded me. I looked upon a man who has seen all there is to see, yet is still amazed at the night sky. I didn't know whether to envy or pity him. This gift seemed too great of a curse to bare - to see everything but experience none of it.

In time, he resumed speaking. "There is much of the unknown that I've seen, but I only speak of what you've shown. Your future is unfolding, and I'm not in control, for more fickle is the finger of fate than I'd like. So rest your weary head, and we'll find out what virtues tomorrow is hiding and what villainy it is keeping in store."

And so, I laid down, my eyes tired from weeping. I lay beneath a gorgeous sky, lit by the pale lady of the night. The moon was full that evening.

The man didn't sleep, however. He just sat there, gazing at the stars from the vantage point of his old, squeaky chair. Right before I drifted off to sleep, I asked him, "Doesn't it get monotonous? The same view, every day?"

"Never. No matter how much you look, there's always another star hiding in the distance - you just have to know where to look for it. The more you look, the more beauty you'll find. There's always another story to add to my collection. That's my joy." He lays his head back on his chair and grins.

I fell asleep shortly after. The cool breeze of the mountain brushed against my skin and eased the rock on which I lay my head on. And so I slept, with hopes for a new day and a new dawn. 

Calmly, he whispers, "Go gentle into that goodnight sleep, and I hope you'll make the best out of it this time around." 

"Did you say something?" I asked.

That's when he stood up and turned his body in my direction, his face muscles flexed and eyes wide open, showing signs of distress. I sensed something was wrong. But what could be wrong on a night like this? 

"Wake up." Again he said it, in a low voice which made it hard to hear. He walked toward me with haste and grabbed my shoulders. It hurt a lot despite him not grabbing me too roughly. Something was wrong with my shoulders. I tried moving, but I wasn't able to anymore.

"WAKE UP!" He screamed, and yet I could hardly make out his words. It was strange, but not as strange as me not being able to move any part of my body. Pain started surging through my limbs and throughout my extremities. It felt like my heart was pumping shattered glass through my veins. 

"Nathan! Wake up, damn it. PLEASE!" He screamed, and began crying. 

"Huh? Tears? What's that about? What's wrong?!" I spoke, but not aloud. I started fainting, slowly but surely. His screams turned into echoes, and his face turned into a silhouette. I could make out the sound of sirens approaching in the background, and people rushing towards the scene.

Then everything became black.

------

You wake up to the sound of distant screams and beeping machines. LED lights shine painfully down upon your eyes in a room of modern design. You are ventilated and covered in casts. The only thing you can move is your eyes, and you look around. Responding physically or vocally is not an option. Shortly, a person with a white coat walks into the room. 

"Good morning sunshine!" He says while smiling. He pulls out a small flashlight from his front coat pocket and shines it against your eyes. "Pupils are responsive." A blue-dressed woman next to him writes on a notepad. 

He confronts you and speaks out, "Nathan, you're in the hospital. You were in a really bad car crash two weeks ago. You broke a lot of bones and some ribs, so we put you into a medically-induced coma to relieve your pain. But you're fine now. Okay, buddy? Don't worry. We've alerted your family that you woke up. They're on their way."

[natrolite 1,049]

Hello! Thank you so much if you've read all of that! For those that don't know, this is the forth part of a short story I've been writing for some time. You can read the previous parts here:

1. Trials of Heaven - Regret in Heaven.
2. Trials of Heaven - Sorrow in Heaven.
3. Trials of Heaven - Hope in Hell.

I also took inspiration from two of my favorite creators, Zack Hemsey, and exurb1a.

[Pythor 1,354]

Article Approved!

 

This fourth installment of Nat's saga "Trials of Heaven" contains a variety of different plot twists that will be sure to force the reader to remain on the edge of his seat! However, the real meat of story lies within the fantastic character development as we follow one man's journey on his quest for the threshold of heaven... 

Beautifully executed piece!

 

Edits - 

Spoiler

- Fixed a few verb tense issues

- Spacing & punctuation

- Clarified a few areas of confusing text. A helpful tip to editing your piece is to always put yourself in the reader's perspective. You, as the writer, might completely understand what's going on (because, of course, you're the one who wrote it). However, the reader might not fully grasp the intended meaning of a statement or get lost in a wordy sentence. 

- One of my favorite articles to both read and edit this year in the AWS. Great job!

 

[Venerable 2,968]

@classic-style-hiphop the links got mixed up, I think.

On 8/30/2020 at 8:53 PM, classic-style-hiphop said:

Hello! Thank you so much if you've read all of that! For those that don't know, this is the forth part of a short story I've been writing for some time. You can read the previous parts here:

1. Trials of Heaven - Regret in Heaven.
2. Trials of Heaven - Sorrow in Heaven.
3. Trials of Heaven - Hope in Hell.

When I click on 2. Trials of Heaven - Sorrow in Heaven, it leads me back to this latest story of yours (The Mountain)...

Could you please check them?

I really want to read the previous stories!  

[natrolite 1,049]

2 hours ago, Venerable said:

@classic-style-hiphop the links got mixed up, I think.

When I click on 2. Trials of Heaven - Sorrow in Heaven, it leads me back to this latest story of yours (The Mountain)...

Could you please check them?

I really want to read the previous stories!  

Oh boy, that's my b. Should be fixed now. 

[YaMaM-SpecialUnit 54]

 I can read all that but for fun and i have time cool

[Venerable 2,968]

I just finished reading this story...

Fantastic!!!

The second person POV in the first 3 stories was interesting. I have never had the experience of reading something totally written in the second person. It was new to me, but I enjoyed it. It felt as if I was experiencing all the stuff Nathan was going through. 

Overall, this was an exciting series, very well written, with a certain richness in every line. The philosophical part was convincing and interesting.

Though all stories in this series were text-walls, I did not get bored.

Great job, Nat! I thoroughly enjoyed this series!