N.O.O.B.

[Venerable 2,967]

Noobs' Omnipotence & Omnipresence Bureau

 

Hello Tankers!

Noobs are omnipresent and omnipotent* (*not to be confused with being pro), and they are extremely important in balancing the number of kills and deaths in a battle full of pros. Someone has to die more than others, and noobs (un)willingly don this mantle. It's a very heavy mantle, but it matters not to he who hasn't skills.

Being a Noob is a way of life. Please read @Railguns's beautiful poem, Noobs, to understand this ancient and sacred practice better.

In this topic you can share anecdotes, pictures, GIFs or videos of your Noobishness, to display to the world this noble practice.

The following players are forbidden** from positively contributing to the discussion:

1. Those who thoroughly believe that they're Pros,

2. Those who have a K/D ratio greater than 1,

3. Those who have featured in the top 100 in experience gained or efficiency, within the past month,

4. Those who hate this topic.

** there may be exceptions... I have the final say in case of disputed exceptions. 

For example, you may post a GIF of you flipping upside down beside a Goldbox while you were the Juggernaut. 

Or a video of missing 20 shots with Railgun in an XP/BP match...

 

WARNING: This topic or its owner does not encourage anyone to sabotage their team. Please bear in mind that sabotage is against the Game Rules. All media shared must comply with the Game Rules at all costs. If you deliberately sabotage your team in order to get likes in this topic, you will be liable to face the consequences, which include bans. The incidents of noobishness must be purely accidental/unintentional. Or in a Parkour battle.

 

Exceptions: 

1. Official Helpers

2. Players who take permission from me to display their Noobishness, despite being forbidden by the rules.

3. Veterans and Boomers, after my approval.

Players -

Spoiler

 

• @Railguns
• @Ironmantonystark (You can post your acts of Noobishness even if your K/D goes beyond 1. May you remain a Noob at heart.)

 

 

The Orange List: (players indulging in Pro activities, and those hazardous to this noble Bureau)

Spoiler

• @asem.harbi A⁺ 
• @artc A^- 

 

Edited November 24, 2020 by Venerable
Please remember that you have to share YOUR acts of Noobishness

[Potdindy 866]

All I know is I am big noob. Always big noob. 
"potdindy noob out"

potdindy noob left"

they say to me in xpbp

[alkyng 3,080]

9 hours ago, Venerable said:

2. Those who have a K/D ratio greater than 1

time to get self destructs

but I'm extremely pro, I have a lot of videos of noobish enemies, can I share one of them?

Edited November 23, 2020 by asem.harbi

[artc 1,119]

Im commenting to say im a pro, THANK u very MUCH ;/

[Dridrien 157]

what is the difference between a noob and a pros? is it in relation to his equipment? (drone, protection, turret)

[Maf 32,300]

4 minutes ago, Dridrien said:

what is the difference between a noob and a pros? is it in relation to his equipment? (drone, protection, turret)

Being a Noob has nothing to do with equipment. "Noob" is a way of life.

[Dridrien 157]

1 minute ago, Maf said:

Être Noob n'a rien à voir avec l'équipement. "Noob" est un mode de vie.

I do not agree. for example I am a player who plays without a drone. I killed a guy who was playing Hopper with Crisis at least 15 times. The guy spam, shield, attack, and speed. then seeing that I dominate it without a drone. He decides to change protection and put 50% protection against my turret. The happy guy keeps spamming his drone crisis and then suddenly dies. I had to change the turret in the meantime so the disappointed guy had to wait to change again. When he changed protection against me again, I also changed turret to kill him again and again. When the battle was over, I decided to continue so I could find him again. When I saw her again, it was the same.  For me that's a noob. A guy who uses his OP equipment to end up dying.

[Intercept-1 80]

Ohohohoho... do I have tales to tell

'Twas the year 2017, I was but a wee tanker in the Warrant Officers, on my older account R3VOLUTION. There was a sale (can't remember which tho), and I bought the "In Love" paint. As for why I would do this I have absolutely no clue ._. A minute later, I saw that I could've bought viking M1 with my crystals, had I not bought the stupid paint.

:cryingclown:

[Maf 32,300]

12 minutes ago, Dridrien said:

For me that's a noob. A guy who uses his OP equipment to end up dying.

But that's what I'm saying. He's just fully committed to living in the ways of Noob 

[alkyng 3,080]

1 hour ago, Dridrien said:

I do not agree. for example I am a player who plays without a drone. I killed a guy who was playing Hopper with Crisis at least 15 times. The guy spam, shield, attack, and speed. then seeing that I dominate it without a drone. He decides to change protection and put 50% protection against my turret. The happy guy keeps spamming his drone crisis and then suddenly dies. I had to change the turret in the meantime so the disappointed guy had to wait to change again. When he changed protection against me again, I also changed turret to kill him again and again. When the battle was over, I decided to continue so I could find him again. When I saw her again, it was the same.  For me that's a noob. A guy who uses his OP equipment to end up dying.

To be honest, that happens a lot and didn't mean directly that this man is a noob, sometimes I just get rekt repeatedly when I try to get the flag or something, and whatever I try to revenge I fall.

But for sure been the first one in the battle with 9999GS didn't mean that you're skilled. And for priority for sure, we consider that a noob in first example than consider the second one with 9999 GS a "pro"

[Venerable 2,967]

@asem.harbi I'm afraid that you are henceforth forbidden from positively contributing to the discussion because you claim that you are extremely Pro.

We here at N.O.O.B. despise the word "Pro", and do not accept acts of Noobishness committed by those other than the one who shares them.

The Bureau has now decided to add you to the Orange List, which contains players who are hazardous to this noble organization. You will now be placed under Type A⁺ Observation, and will be closely observed until you are deemed fit to contribute to this discussion.

Best Regards,

Venerable 

[His Majesticality Le Chief, Head etc. of the Noobs' Omnipotence & Omnipresence Bureau]

 

Edited November 24, 2020 by Venerable

[E_polypterus 2,374]

I noob ?

[Iron_Man 2,376]

Noob is one who...

Well yeah you can understand!

Pro is one who...

Well, I explained it in the simplest terms I could find!

Spoiler

So @Venerable you say I can't type here if my K/D is >1. Well if I join here and increase my K/D to 1 what is going to be my fate? Cause I seriously do not call myself a noob!

Well @Venerable so you say though I am and will become a PRO, I am welcome here. But for the love of god, do not ask me to remain a noob forever! I do not like that, but yes I surely will make some funny clips and pics(remember only for the sake of this topic)

 

Edited November 24, 2020 by Ironmantonystark

[Person_Random 4,991]

I am a noob. I say it loud, and I say it proud. All hail the power of noobs

After all, I've been called a noob helper anyways... *casually cries in corner*

[yellowghetto2 11]

I am yellowghetto2 

[Venerable 2,967]

3 hours ago, Ironmantonystark said:

so you say though I am and will become a PRO, I am welcome here. But for the love of god, do not ask me to remain a noob forever! I do not like that, but yes I surely will make some funny clips and pics(remember only for the sake of this topic)

Spoiler

LOL this is a fun topic, I obviously don't want you to remain a noob forever...

Ahem

@Ironmantonystark

The Bureau has examined your credentials, and is of the opinion that you are mildly susceptible to breaking rules in order to display your apparent Noobishness in this topic.

The Bureau would like to remind you that you must not break the Game Rules under any circumstances while compiling/sharing your acts of Noobishness.

 

Best Regards

Venerable

[His Higherestness Le Head, Chief, etc. of the Noobs' Omnipotence & Omnipresence Bureau] 

 

"May you remain a Noob at heart..."

Edited November 24, 2020 by Venerable

[Picassoo 191]

I myself sometimes complain about noob teammates when playing random Garder 2v2 matches but whenever I enter Parma I am frustrated with people complaining because I'm not familiar with this map. People learn from mistakes, but once they do they forget how much time it took them to achieve the level they're on.

Such behaviour is in most cases caused by frustration, but still you must remember: you'd be an average player at most if players worse than you didn't exist, and you'd remain a noob if you didn't take your time learning. So be easy on them nubs

Spoiler

Though I must admit it is annoying when someone who is extremely bad joins an XP battle and spoils it for everyone.

 

[alkyng 3,080]

The one who consider himself as a noob, is very tolerant with himself

[artc 1,119]

Um isnt ur orange list all made up, im pretty sure u cant ban us from talking here bec. ur not a helper.

[Venerable 2,967]

20 minutes ago, artc said:

Um isnt ur orange list all made up, im pretty sure u cant ban us from talking here bec. ur not a helper.

LOL

Of course all of it is just for fun. You should just refrain from posting here because Noobs are supposed to post here. So if you post anything related to being Pro, it will be considered Off-Topic.

I simply created the Orange List to remind myself of all the "Pros" out there, so that I know who's actually helping this topic grow and who's not... :p

Don't worry, I can't ban you or anything. 

I'm simply requesting you to not post anything "Pro".

[alkyng 3,080]

Ok, something old video, when I just move around I just shot 3 shots of my ricochet (not mean multing or something) just like when you shot the wall while you walking

I know too much edited, but I don't have the raw video

 

[E_polypterus 2,374]

Eeeey @Venerable, would this count as years worth of noobishess? 

(I’ll try to post some acts of noobishness later)

Edited November 24, 2020 by E_polypterus

[Venerable 2,967]

It pains me to see that members of the Bureau (official and unofficial) aren't actively compiling their works of art, that is, acts of Noobishness.

It appears that the ancient and majestic practice of Noobishness is slowly but surely losing its appeal,  and more and more tankers are turning into Pros, a very dangerous prospect.

I plead to all those venerable Noobs out there - revive this noble species! Do not let this epikalistical race get endangered! The future of Noobs is in your hands (and mine)! 

Rise, O Aristocratic Noob, and thou shall be rewarded with... with... a lower KD ratio! I couldn't think of anything more attractive at the moment. Fare thee well, and may thou succeed at failing!

 

Warmerest Regards,

Venerable 

[His Epikestness Le Great Master etc. of the Noobs' Omnipotence and Omnipresence Bureau]

[E_polypterus 2,374]

i so nub  

Edited December 30, 2020 by E_polypterus

[Iron_Man 2,376]

18 minutes ago, E_polypterus said:

i so nub  

Maybe yes but on second thoughts maybe no.

Fun facts

1. My least Gear Score.
2. All the 10 deaths I got were from just Self Destruction(I am not that good with ARES and ended up in unreachable and unavoidable places).

Spoiler