A Lost Cause

[Lose 881]

Disclaimer: This article has strong emotions which may be disturbing for some readers. Reader-discretion is advised. 

 

 

"Ryan, wait! We're sorry."

"Damn rain, can't hear you well. Not sure if I want to. Anyways, what do... YOU want?"

"I just... just wanted to say we're sorry. Or at least, I'm sorry."

"Sorry means you won't do it again. Sorry is a promise. I can't count the number of times you've broken these promises."

"I genuinely try to be a better person. I don't want to hurt you, I don't want-"

"You don't want to hurt me? You try to be a better person? Once I see changes, I'll start to hope they can become positive. But I'll be DAMNED if I haven't been through hell and back thanks to you guys. Not in the sense that you helped me. You put me into hell, and I dragged my way back. I'm not going back there, and you're not stopping me."

"I... the others were the ones who did all of that. I noticed you suffering. I saw the pain you were going through."

"David, you have glasses, yet you can't see you're the one causing the problems? Faking empathy isn't going to work, I'm not a kid."

"But it's not fake empathy-"

"The only time you experience true empathy is when one of the... others gets hurt. I'm clearly not part of those 'others'. I'm the outlier."

"You aren't the outlier. Nobody is the outlier, we're all humans. We're all people."

"Don't you DARE try to justify your actions by saying such a broad statement as 'we're all people'. Yes, that is true. We all are humans. But some humans simply don't like others, and they make it clear by their actions. Do you not get the point yet?"

"I want another chance. I want to start clean, to try to salvage what's left of our relationship. I want it to be back to what it was, not what it is." 

"The chances have gone. I've given you SO many chances, others would say I'm overoptimistic. Every time I asked you guys to stop. Every time I told you guys I didn't like the 'jokes'. There's so much going on that you don't know about. There's so much I should have told you guys. So much I shouldn't have. And I can't take it anymore. It's going to end."

"Ryan, I hope you aren't planning to do anything. Especially anything harmful to yourself or others."

"Why the hell would you care? You've pushed me to the edge, then pushed me off of it. I have nothing left. Nobody to live for. Nothing to live for. What's beneficial about me staying?"

"You're irreplaceable. You have qualities that nobody else in the world has. With you gone, the world will have lost a vital piece. I know what you're thinking, Ryan. And it isn't the answer. It doesn't end the pain. It merely transfers it."

"Why does it matter, why should I care that there's only one me, if that me doesn't deserve to live?"

"I don't have an answer to that question, since there isn't an instance of this being true that I can relate my opinion to. You deserve life. You've rightfully earned what you have, and what you have gained."

"I have nothing. I've earned nothing. I've started with nothing, and somehow managed to lose more as life went on. I'm a lost cause, David. Look past the surface, and look at me truly. My mental health is a mess. Nothing left to fight for, so I'm going to stop fighting."

"Ryan, come back inside. It's raining, cold, miserable, and what you want to do would only make it worse. Come back inside. We can start afresh."

"My life is in my hands right now, David. Two more steps forwards, and I'm gone. Two more steps backwards, and I'm still here. But I might as well not be. I'm a shell. Empty. Hollow. Dead. To feel weightless, to fly, albeit for a short moment, is the opportunity given to me right now. And I don't know when, or even if I'm going to get that opportunity again. I want to take it. I should take it. I know I should. Why am I not?"

"Deep inside, you know that even if you think there's nothing left to live for, that nobody cares, that isn't true. The choice given to you right now is not an opportunity. It is a curse, a horrible fate disguised as an escape from the pain that won't seem to end."

"The pain is gone. I've gone numb to all feelings, and it's honestly so much worse. I would rather feel sad. I would rather feel angry, I would rather WANT to jump right now than feel what I'm feeling -- nothing. I don't want to jump. I have to jump."

"Please, just come back inside. We can start anew."

"Why would I want to restart the hell I've been put through with you guys? Why am I listening to you at all?"

"You don't have to restart with us. Even if you hate us, even if you hate me, please just continue listening to me. Even if you don't care about us, we care about you. Stay here for those who care. And for those who you care for."

"There's nothing you can do."

"Others can help. Therapy can help, antidepressants, anything. Just please, don't jump."

"I didn't want to do it here, but I guess it's come to this. Tell the rest of my 'friends' that this is what they've done. They've caused what is about to happen."

"Ryan please, don't jump. We care about you. Please, stop-"

 

~Lose

The cause isn't lost until you've proven nobody cares about it. 

Don't do it.

Edited April 29, 2021 by Lose

[Venerable 2,967]

Approved!

Wow, another wonderfully written short story. You've written the whole story in dialogue, with minimal description, and yet it makes complete sense. That is commendable, and I really admire the way you wrote this story. Nothing much to say as far as grammar is concerned, but I do have a few tips on writing even better next time.

Make use of italics for stressing on certain words in a sentence - you will find that the meaning of the sentence changes significantly. For example, in "I don't want to jump. I have to jump", you could italicize "want" and "have". So it becomes "I don't want to jump. I have to jump." Notice the change (albeit a subtle one) in the meaning. Adding a dash between the two sentences also works well.

While writing phrases like "start new", it's always better to write "start anew" instead. Similarly, "start afresh" is better than "start fresh". 

Well, I really hope you're okay, because you've been acing the "depression genre" for almost a year now.

Edits: Just the ones I explained above. :)
 

Spoiler

Sowwy for the late approval... we were unsure about this piece due to its emotionally charged nature.

 

[Lose 881]

4 hours ago, Venerable said:

Approved!

Wow, another wonderfully written short story. You've written the whole story in dialogue, with minimal description, and yet it makes complete sense. That is commendable, and I really admire the way you wrote this story. Nothing much to say as far as grammar is concerned, but I do have a few tips on writing even better next time.

Make use of italics for stressing on certain words in a sentence - you will find that the meaning of the sentence changes significantly. For example, in "I don't want to jump. I have to jump", you could italicize "want" and "have". So it becomes "I don't want to jump. I have to jump." Notice the change (albeit a subtle one) in the meaning. Adding a dash between the two sentences also works well.

While writing phrases like "start new", it's always better to write "start anew" instead. Similarly, "start afresh" is better than "start fresh". 

Well, I really hope you're okay, because you've been acing the "depression genre" for almost a year now.

Edits: Just the ones I explained above. :)
 

  Hide contents

Sowwy for the late approval... we were unsure about this piece due to its emotionally charged nature.

 

Thanks for the feedback and approval! The main reason I didn't use italics was because the second character's dialogue was distinguished using them -- I thought it could maybe cause some confusion. About the "anew" and "afresh", I'll remember that in my future stories.

 

And about me being okay: Life's been how it is, which is horribly cruel and unfair. But hey, I'm still here! Also, the depression genre is just easier to write. It's difficult to write in the cheerful genres without it sounding satirical or cheesy.

[Lose 881]

14 hours ago, At_Shin said:

hey, I found this mistake while reading the story. :D

I liked how you created a tense scene for the reader; and, without going into details about their story you managed to convince us what the two characters were feeling - which gave us an idea of what could have happened to them prior to reaching this part of the story. 

Thank you for sharing this interesting story. <3 

Thanks for the feedback! And about the mistake -- gotta add that "have" lol