Serenity

[Lose 881]

The moon shines bright in the sky, illuminating the bleak landscape below it.  Twelve years ago, in the very spot you're at right now, horrors that shan't be spoken of occurred. The world shook; or at least, your world shook. A void opened up in the shell of a being that you are. Feelings unlike any you'd felt before, slowly engulfed what was left of you.

 

You contemplate whether the moon truly is beautiful, or is only so in comparison to the ugly landscape spanning to and across the horizons. This question troubles you occasionally, but you never get closer to an answer. The feeling intensifies. As you stand, time moves on. Time doesn't stop, or think, or contemplate, or cry. Time doesn't hide what it is, it doesn't downplay or boast what it does. It just continues -- steady, ongoing, fast at times, yet agonizingly slow at others. But you aren't time. And twelve years ago, when time moved on, you didn't. Stubbornness, arrogance, and a refusal to humility kept you rooted in the dark place that you wanted constant escape from, but nonetheless called home. 

 

Feelings intensify yet again. Time pushes forward. You bend down, holding something in your hand.

A flower is put on a grave.

 

The moon shines bright in the sky, illuminating the bleak landscape below it; but this time, it's different. The crickets create a slightly eerie yet calming symphony of chirps. The trees paired with the slight breeze create a cracking and rustling of leaves, accompanying the chirping in a duo of calm, yet unrestrained. Moonlight reflecting off the condensation on the trees creates a dazzling array of sparkles in the night sky. The feelings that were constantly there, but only recently intensifying, disappear as quickly as they came twelve years ago. 

 

You remember feeling this emotion before. It's been a while, but you still remember it. You miss it -- this indescribable emotion. Peace. For once in a very, very long time, you feel calm. Things have been set straight, and for now at least are onto a path to somewhere that isn't where it was. Leaves crunch under your feet as you head back to where you came from. Maybe the flower will still be there in the morning. 

 

Very carefully, and very quietly, you sneak a pair of keys back under the doormat. The front door opens with a slight creak as you push it timidly, and then a few moments later, another door opens and closes down the hallway. The bed feels softer than usual, drenching you with the warmth you had lost outside. The calmness covers you, like the horrible feeling from the past had enveloped you. Unlike the previous emotion, however, you welcome this emotion. Drifting off to sleep is easy, with your mind in a state of serenity.

 

Outside, the question is answered. The moon shines just as bright as it always had, but now in comparison to its surroundings, it seems dimmer.

 

~Lose

[Venerable 2,967]

Approved!

The AWS seems to be quite active again, for Lose has written yet another beautiful piece a few weeks after "A Lost Cause", leaving us Reporters yearning for that level of productivity. Again, I apologize for the late approval. 

Talking about emotions, beauty, time, etc. is quite a challenge - but you've managed to write about these "abstract things" well, and that too in second person. I loved how you described that night - everything from the emotions being experienced by the protagonist (for want of a better word) to the scenery around the graveyard(?). One begins to form images in one's mind immediately. 

In my opinion, you could've written the whole piece in second person; for example, instead of writing "A flower is put on a grave", write "You put a flower on the grave" or anything similar. I feel it'll produce a better effect: aided by all that imagery, the reader will almost feel as if she/he is experiencing everything that's going on in the narrative.

Edits: 

Spoiler

• "in the very spot you are right now" --> "in the very spot you're at right now". Without the "at", the sentence essentially means that you are the spot.
• "Leaves crunch under your feet as you head back from where you came from" --> "Leaves crunch under your feet as you head back to where you came from". 

 

[Lose 881]

Thanks for approving this -- no worries about the late approval. As for the second person imagery, I mainly left it out to leave more emphasis on what's actually happening, and less on who is doing it. I'll keep that in mind for future pieces, however! More writing might be coming soon.