Darkness [Final]

[Lose 881]

I wish I had chosen the easier way. Sure, it might be the morally incorrect way, and maybe the worse of the two, but easiest nonetheless. Instead of that, however, I decided that I would go down fighting. But for some reason I had a feeling he was correct in saying that no matter what, everybody dies. Despite this, I made my choice quickly.

 

"I'm not going out without a fight," I said. "A fight in which I'm going to bring you down with me, if I have to."

 

The god simply laughed again - a sound that was starting to get pretty damn annoying. A person materialized in front of me: tall, lanky, pale, but with jet black hair. He simply looked at me with a slight smirk, as if I amused him, and then the voice called out from within the forest, his mouth unmoving.

 

"You don't learn, do you? Continuing to pick the options that I wanted you to pick won't make you win this battle. But out of respect for you getting this far, I will battle you as one of you -- human. Granted, I'm not completely normal, but neither are you. This battle, at least to start, will begin as even as I am willing to make it. Sadly for you, there's no backing out of this anymore. You chose this, and now you'll see it through, even if I force your eyes open."

 

And with that, a sword materialized in his hands. But then I realized my horrific mistake -- my ankle. How was I supposed to fight with me effectively immobilized? Nonetheless, I put a sword in my hands, and hoped the newfound adrenaline would last me the whole fight. Staring down the God, I waited for him to make the first move. Thankfully, he was impatient. Charging at me, he swung downwards, which I only barely blocked; I don't exactly have experience in sword fighting. The force he hit with was unnatural, and that made me uneasy. He was clearly using the Shadows to make himself stronger. He swung again, yielding the same wobbly block by me. I had to think quickly, or else this battle would be shorter than even I would like.

 

And then I had a really bad idea. And then had a worse idea of following through with that bad idea. I quickly summoned some Shadow of my own, formed it into a shape of a leg, and made it attach right next to my immobile leg. My thought process was if I couldn't use one leg, I'd make my own. And funnily enough, it actually worked at first. Until I tried moving. I took one step forwards, my sword raised, and promptly fell and nearly impaled myself. I quickly rolled onto my back to not, y'know, die, and was met with the sound of my sword getting knocked out of my hands. Now I was weaponless, immobile, and supposed to still save the world.

 

So I decided to try what sort of worked earlier, and control his Shadow with my own powers. I wasn't sure what my intentions were. Maybe I wanted to just drive the sword away from me. Maybe I wanted the sword. I didn't have time to figure out my intentions. Anyways, I now had to figure out how to concentrate without dying. It wasn't easy, but if I could just slightly mess up his aim, it could give me enough time. So, when he swung downwards to deliver a final blow, I willed it to move just a few inches to the left. It grazed me, ripping my shirt, but effectively stuck itself into the ground. Now I could concentrate. 

 

The sword, not knowing who to listen to, promptly exploded, dissipating into the shadowed forest. Then, I made another sword and sent it at him. And this time, I didn't miss. A low thud confirmed what I saw -- a sword hilt sticking out of his sternum. He fell to his knees, and looked at me. He spoke, this time normally.

 

"You did well-" He went into a coughing fit, blood spraying the ground, "Better than I expected. But I'm a man of my words."

 

And with that, he turned into Shadow, and plunged into the ground. But he didn't just melt through the cracks, as most Shadow does. Hitting the ground, a huge crack appeared in the rock, expanding horizontally towards me. I quickly moved out of the way and saw that he was gone. A deep rumble shook the Earth, and the crack widened.

 

About 10 miles away, my mother was jolted awake from the loud roar of her house collapsing down the middle. She looked down, and saw a widening crack. At James' house, searching the yard around his house, a scream cuts through the night. One of the friends disappeared, and in their wake, was another growing hole. 

 

Back with me, the crack grew, and I had to keep backing up. Until I heard behind me a cacophony of rustling and cracks -- the trees were falling, into another crack. I was trapped. Playing a game of twister but with death and one leg, I shuffled into a smaller and smaller space, until I fell. I caught myself with one hand on a crack, and knowing me, knew I didn't have much time.

 

I though about what I'd done.

My friends are dead or dying, my family is dying, I am dying, and the world is ending. And this could have been accomplished with so much less pain, had I been selfish.

 

I looked back at the good memories, of the party before the game of hide and seek. Of the game of Tanki Online I had played just before coming, which was a whole saga of it's own. All of the little things that don't matter in the big picture, but meant a lot in that moment. Maybe I was about to die, but my life had been great up to this moment.

 

With an odd sense of completeness, I let go, and let myself fall into the void of Shadows slowly swallowing the world.

 

~Lose 

What a rollercoaster of emotions it was, writing this. I'm not proud of this series, in the sense that there are so many plot holes and loose ends I could have prevented with some simple planning. Yet I also feel insanely proud. Because looking back at my first part of this series, I'd like to think I've improved at writing since then. And I think that's kind of cool. So as bad as the story may be plot wise, the actual WRITING of it improved, or people sugarcoated how bad it was more and more each installment.

This finale isn't the best either -- I was actually planning to have a sequel to this series to tie up the loose ends. But due to real life circumstances, starting in August, I'm probably going to be not only unable to write a sequel series anytime soon, but it is highly likely I won't be able to write at all, or at any sort of scheduled basis. So sorry for the dark ending, it wasn't meant to be this bad. I could go on and on about why this series was bad, and how this finale sucks, but that's just me beating myself up to cope with darker emotions. Either way, I hope you all enjoyed this finale and the series as a whole, and thank you for even reading this in the first place <3

I hope to post again sometime! ;D

[Venerable 2,967]

Approved!

The ending was as dark as the title of this series. And, of course, throughout the series, there was darkness everywhere... 

"Darkness" was a fascinating series even though, by your own admission, it didn't end as planned. But hey, that's okay - considering the circumstances, it couldn't have ended better. In fact, it was a smart ending. There's no need to think bitterly about what could have been, or have any resentment. But yes, striving to improve is a great attitude, and acknowledging and/or identifying your shortcomings is a huge positive. 

I really hope to see you back soon, and please keep writing (in a notebook, if not on an electronic device)!

Edits:

Spoiler

- A few typos

- Occasional inconsistencies in the tenses (that's one thing you should focus on, in the future). I have a book called "How to Write and Speak Better" - a true gem - and I would like to quote one very interesting and seemingly obvious line from that book: "Many of the commonest faults in everyday writing - faults of grammar, usage, or style - can be put down to a simple lack of concentration." This line conveys a simple message, "Constant vigilance is the key." (Quoted from the book, again).  It is difficult to be so attentive while writing, yes. In fact, I struggle to concentrate too, but I then try to compensate by proofreading my work multiple times - quite a hassle, you might agree. So, if possible, be as attentive as possible while writing, and you're bound to notice some significant improvement. Do note, however, that typos aren't that big an issue in this context, because they arise mainly due to a person's typing methods/skills/speed. 

 

[Lose 881]

Thanks for approving this! And yes, I'm not planning to stop writing; I will figure out a way to write and maybe post in the future. I also hope to take this unwanted hiatus to improve on my writing, and especially my tenses (seeing this is not the first time I've shown inconsistencies in those). 

[a1653 77]

On 7/24/2021 at 11:49 AM, Lose said:

Thanks for approving this! And yes, I'm not planning to stop writing; I will figure out a way to write and maybe post in the future. I also hope to take this unwanted hiatus to improve on my writing, and especially my tenses (seeing this is not the first time I've shown inconsistencies in those). 

Great story @Lose! Love the plot. All I might recommend is doing some sort of continuation, perhaps where jack comes back to life, whether shadow or not shadow, and gains control of his normal self again whilst also defeating the shadow, perhaps including a magical world or something somewhere in the mix, if see where I might be going?

[Lose 881]

Interesting idea for a continuation! I can see what you're talking about, and if might work, but the problem is, I currently don't have any way to write. I'll hopefully post again in the future, though!

[Incorp 2,084]

Finally! I have enjoyed this series a lot. I like the power of shadows. I think I might enjoy 999 series better though 

[Lose 881]

2 hours ago, Incorp said:

Finally! I have enjoyed this series a lot. I like the power of shadows. I think I might enjoy 999 series better though 

Both are equally good, I cannot pick a favorite child

[Incorp 2,084]

11 minutes ago, Lose said:

Both are equally good, I cannot pick a favorite child

I like 999 better cause it is not so violent. So sad to play tanki before dying :(

[Incorp 2,084]

@Lose I'd recommend you read the Tapestry Series, the first book being The Hound of Rowan. It have  similar "powers" and have 5 books in the series. It's a nice read, though it gets pretty violent at the end of the series. It's action packed like yours.

Not that I'm saying you are plagiarising when I said the series have similar powers  

Edited August 17, 2021 by Incorp

[a1653 77]

On 8/7/2021 at 11:53 AM, Lose said:

Interesting idea for a continuation! I can see what you're talking about, and if might work, but the problem is, I currently don't have any way to write. I'll hopefully post again in the future, though!

What do you mean you don't have any way to write? This forum is a way to write. So is google docs, or, if you prefer, microsoft word. Grammarly is a great way to write with its own version of google docs. So, what do you mean?

[Lose 881]

On 9/3/2021 at 1:55 PM, a1653 said:

What do you mean you don't have any way to write? This forum is a way to write. So is google docs, or, if you prefer, microsoft word. Grammarly is a great way to write with its own version of google docs. So, what do you mean?

Since I finished up Darkness, the only ideas I currently want to do are VERY ambitious. I do not have a PC to write on, which I need due to the lack of text customization on mobile.

 

EDIT: also unable to write seeing as the AWS/Newspaper is closed. Kinda sad this is the last post of mine here, but oh well. I'll be writing elsewhere! (@thepoetryweb on Instagram ;))

Edited April 20 by Lose
i wonder how long i can wait before someone knows i edited this. Hello World