[Issue 60] [Review] Treasures of the Archives: Categorized

[Night-Sisters 2,139]

 

Hello dear readers. I've finished my first semester of college (without dying, thank you very much) and find myself with a surprising amount of free time. Thus it's time to bring the pen...er, keyboard...out once more before goldmult decides to fire me. 

We find ourselves once more looking at the start of a new year. 2017 is revving up to go, and what better way to salute what's coming than to glance back at where we've been. 

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To that end, I've decided to cook up a long-overdue edition of the Treasures of the Archives series. The last time this happened was in Issue 41, and you should definitely read it because Hogree's take on this was masterclass. Continuing where he left off, I've drawn the best of the best from Issues 42 through 59, and it has been an absolutely fantastic trip down memory lane. Read on, and I hope you enjoy the selections!

 

 

Category: Stories

 

 

Memory Series - Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV

By: Tweezers

 

This fantastic gem of a series is one of my personal favorites. The plot is intriguing, the characters believable, and the writing excellent. Short stories are difficult to produce, but Tweezers pulls it off with ease, showcasing enviable talent time and time again. If you haven't read Memory yet you absolutely should take the time to do it now. You won't regret it. (But, then again, there's no accounting for taste...if you do regret the read, just blame the NS. Problem solved.)

 

Between Tabs Series - Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI Part VII, Part VIII, Part IX, Part X, Part How-Many-More-Parts-Does-This-Series-Need?

By: Shedinja

 

All joking aside, (I was kiiiiding Shed, no h8 B)) it can be safely said that Between Tabs Part V is the reason I joined the paper. It's the story that originally interested me in the paper, and what set the ball rolling towards me becoming a reporter. Between Tabs will always have a special place in my books, and though it's a long read, it's a fantastic story that honestly portrays what it's like to be a Tanker 'irl'.

 

Momma Waited 'Til the End

By: Sonofchrysalis3

 

Sonofchrysalis3 knew how to speak to his audience on an emotional level, and he didn't pull any punches with this one. 'Momma Waited 'Til the End' is a powerful, touching story, the likes of which don't often grace the paper. While Soc3 (aka Stratus) is no longer with us in the paper, he made a significant contribution which earned him a well-deserved spot on this list. 

 

The Reporter Simulator

By: Thekillerpenguin

 

Fashionably asymmetrical doorknobs; not one, not two, but three Night-Sisters; lots of innovative and unusual ways to die; background music...this article is, simply put, a really fun read. Thekillerpenguin (aka TKP aka Pengu) did a fantastic job with The Reporter Simulator. It's hilarious, engaging, and well-crafted. A must-read.

 

 

Category: Guides

 

Subcategory - Map Guides

 

New Year Map 2017

By: viking4s

 

My first thought when reading this one:  :o!!!1!1@@!11!!111!11!!. 

Though new to the TO reporting world, if this article is anything to go off of, Viking will have a long and fruitful writing career. His information-packed, analytical breakdown of the New Year map is superb. This article is one of the best map guides the newspaper has ever come out with, which is saying a lot. I, for one, am looking forward to seeing what else this guy can do. 

 

Guide to Monte Carlo

By: Night-Sisters

 

I distinctly remember that throughout the process of writing this piece, Multrock Admin kept insisting that "Monte Carlo is a tactic-less map" and "it's a pointless guide. There's no strategy involved." I believe the inclusion of my article in a Treasures of the Archives finally settles the point. There is strategy involved in playing Monte Carlo. d3s Gold. 

 

 

 

Subcategory - Info Guides

 

Paint Separation Update

By: Fen-Harel

 

Fen wrote this Special Review on the fly to ensure relevancy after the update. He skillfully discusses the implementation, pros and cons, and nitty-gritty mechanics of the paint separation update. It's comprehensive yet efficient, and well-written, of course.   

 

The Game Balance Update

By: Goldrock

 

If there's one thing Goldrock (aka goldmult, gildedbrick, multmin, etc.) knows how to do, it's writing a text wall. He does so in the Game Balance Update with the utmost class, providing useful information in a digestible manner. I emphatically agree with comments such as this one. Well done, Gold. This one's a keeper.  

 

Downloadable Defenses - A Guide to Module Types 

By: Shedinja

 

A common theme running throughout 'info guides' in the paper is that they're...y'know, informative. The ones that made it on this list are the ones that were/are of most functional value to the community. Downloadable Defenses satisfies this criterion, and then some. If you ever find yourself in need of module-related stats, this article is the one to go to.  

 

The Mid Ranker's Handbook: All About Crystals

By: Sagittarii

 

The Mid Rankers Handbook was one of our most popular series, a cut above the rest, certainly. Sagittarii (aka Zenith101 - y u change ur name nug????!11?/) making a rather lengthy guide entertaining yet useful. A mid-ranker himself, he shows a thorough understanding of the difficulties that plague the median ranks. 

 

The Mid Ranker's Handbook: Gameplay

By: Goldrock

 

Now, I know what you're thinking here. "Oh lookee, another article by gildedbrick. That must mean..MORE TEXTWALLS!" Well, you're not wrong in the slightest, as the final word count comes out to a nice, even, seven thousand seven hundred and seventy-eight words. No, I'm not kidding. Out of curiosity, I stuck the thing in a word doc. This was the result: 

 

 

But that's not all. Gold wrote this article, while masterminding the first revamped paper. For that alone, he'd have my admiration, but the fact that this is not only quantity, but also quality, and good enough to appear in Treasures of the Archives is staggering. Respect.

 

 

Subcategory - Weapon Guides

 

Scrutinized: Ricochet

By: Contradiction

 

Contradiction's very first published piece in the newspaper showcased a thorough knowledge of Ricochet. The information condensed into this guide is truly impressive, and the diagrams, though few, complement the article perfectly. Contra's writing stands out, and this piece is worth the read. 

 

 

The Ultimate Guide to Railgun

By: Thekillerpenguin

 

Pengu's broad outlining of the history and general rail tactics is a refreshing change from the usual detail-oriented guide. It's a new take on a subject that's been written about many, many, times before, and executed well enough to be a top pick for an archive treasure hunt. 

 

 

Subcategory - Player Guides

 

Three Ways to be the Exemplary Tanker

By: Phoenix-Warbird

 

Phoenix-Warbird, one of my best friends on Tanki, debuted in the paper with this article. Quality writing and a much-needed message makes for an article that stands out, and this one in particular is no exception. I think we can all take a few permanent mental notes on what she's covered here.

 

 

What Makes a Good Reporter Application?

By: Fen-Harel

 

As someone who's dealt with numerous reporter applications that range from absolutely abysmal to not-quite-up-to-snuff, Fen's advice on how to craft a decent submission is valuable to the community at large. The content is spot on, and was one of the better articles we've published. 

 

 

Category: Entertainment

 

Ten Reasons Why Tanki Is Good For You

By: Goldrock

 

The sarcasm is real!!! Gildedbrick (aka overachieving mult) makes this list yet again with an undeniably amusing read. 8/10 for writing, style, and humor. -2 for that stupid font. (Of course, it's still worlds better than Comic Sans, but I think that one's a bit more of a unanimous agreement.)

 

 

Female Tankers: Myth vs. Reality

By: Night-Sisters

 

Short, sweet, and to the point, this one went over well with the community, delivering some insight into the mysterious world of the female tanker. My job here was to break some of the most common theories that oh-so-many seemed under the impression of. (You know what they are, who you are, and now, where to find the truth ;) )

 

 

Dictator Academy Students

By: Fen-Harel

 

One of the few comic strips to grace the Tanki Online Newspaper, this one leaves no one disappointed, if only for the fact that it wasn't a permanent installation to the paper. After all, it's usually a bit easier to manage the Sunday paper when there's a few cartoon clips in the back to look forward to.

 

The Expert's Guide to Potatoes

By: LHamster

 

Yeeeeaaaah, the name says it all. I don't think this one warrants a whole lot of explanation.

 

 

Category: Interviews

 

 

Winter Holidays Around the World

By: Flexoo

 

The lone contender in the interviews category is frankly one of the best the paper has ever put out. It's appealing to the eye, contains intriguing content, and even comes with pictures. Hats off, Flexoo, this is truly remarkable. 

 

 

 

Category: Reviews

 

Revolutionary Map Changes

By: Flexoo

 

Flexoo did some excellent detective work for this one. A walk down memory lane for any veterans in the game, the interesting concept and precise execution make this article a surprisingly pleasant read. The pictures contrasting past and present are a unique facet that I particularly enjoy; they display a few of the 'minor tweaks' in TO's history that improved game quality and balance overall. It just goes to show that it's not only major changes that matter, but the attention to minute details that make the game better. 

 

 

Map Awards 2016

By: Vikingsrallentando

 

This categorical review of reporter's opinions on all the good, the bad, and the ugly maps in Tanki is well put together and interesting. The amount of consensus amongst reporters is most intriguing. Do great minds really think alike? (More to the point, can any of the reporters be said to have minds, let alone great ones, in the first place???  :huh: #BrainSuckingAlienInvaderConspiracyTheories.) *Aherm* annnyway, Vikingsrallentando did a fine job with this one, and its place in the Treasures of the Archives is well-deserved.

 

oh yeah, since I made the quote...here's the music. Enjoy!

 

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And that concludes the line-up of some of the most valuable articles that '16 has bestowed us. I feel compelled to admit that picking the gems from the entirety of last year's papers wasn't quite the cakewalk I expected, with so may pieces taking place in my first repertoire. If this is a testament of what has been, the sky's the limit with future articles.

 

 

 

[TTK_229 1,080]

It's all your fault

[DarthMaul667 18]

Can I just say, Love the logo? :) NIce job sis.

[fordmustang12345 3,910]

I remember reading your Monte Carlo article. That little flip trick has saved me quite a few times and confused the heck out of my enemies in CTF :lol:

[Zenyth 6,494]

I accidentally read this as "Tweezers of the Archives" :lol:

[Anonono 1,233]

Part How-Many-More-Parts-Does-This-Series-Need?

 

 

I knew it!!! I saw it coming! You can't fool me!

Edited January 9, 2017 by Anonono

[Spit_Fyre 334]

Like! For the signature. :P