Untreated, Chapter 5

[Person_Random 4,991]

Drama Development

A development chapter with drama, which is what the name says.

For chapter 4.5 please go here.

 

After a few weeks accustoming to the new class schedules, the school year became a routine. Usually, Ms. Makayla, my P.E. teacher from the last year, enjoyed pestering me by loudly calling my name when I passed by. During science, Ms. Dulke, the sour-faced teacher with a nose as sharp as a knife, liked to assign torturous group projects, pairing me with talentless dolts, which usually brought my exceptional grade down. Though there were many lowlights I experienced at school, I managed to accomplish a great feat: keeping Pyco farther away from Hanen Hervon. I wanted him for myself.

 

This was helpfully done with some assistance from music. Before P.E. began, we had an ample amount of time before the teachers came, and Pyco and I would spend time spying on the orchestra students, who set up their instruments with us poking around and greeting them. As for Hanen? She sat down obediently on her assigned number, chatting with her sister. And in time, I headed on over to music classes myself.

 

During classes, I reigned as first chair clarinet, meaning that I would get the nonexistent solos in our songs and the bragging rights. My stand partner, Alicia Copa, who was a year younger than me, proved to be a competitive player as well, and the hot topic came upon a chair challenge, where my teacher could rename a concertmaster, which would hopefully not be Alicia. As for Pyco, he ended up a skilled conductor in the class’s Music Council whom everyone admired for his graceful routine on the podium, where he directed pieces like a natural. Some even said he conducted better than the music teacher and made her movements seem choppy and awkward compared to his. So while his position wasn’t the best, his reputation made up for it.

 

After music, I headed to English, where we switched seats. As I walked inside the classroom, late as always, my teacher ushered me to a mostly occupied table.

 

“Jo-Ann, you’re sitting with Nav, Patty, and James.” she led me to my seat, where I sat down nervously. I just never really got along with people, except for Pyco and Jamie. Though I knew Patty and James, Nav was an anomaly, short and stout, with a messy mat of blonde hair, usually the one who was labeled as annoying, as I had overheard from the table next to mine in Ms. Dulke’s science class the day before. However, I felt slightly sorry for Nav, who seemed rather amiable as we introduced ourselves to our new tablemates. As each day wore on, our group socialized rather well, and I enjoyed the comfortable setting as well as the joy of making new friends in English.

 

But music was still the most eventful class, especially with the adept and ambitious Alicia ready to drop a bomb on me at any moment. “Don’t challenge my chair!” I pleaded, knowing that the chances of winning, being the unfavored one, were slim.

 

“I think I can beat you.” was the only answer I heard. There was no way out. Not even begging.

 

On the day of the challenge, November 7th, we set up our instruments, warmed up, and tuned like well-oiled machines in the privacy of the music teacher’s office. And there was no one there but Pyco to wish me luck.

 

“Good luck, Jo-Ann,” he encouraged me, like many other students had. “And good luck, Alicia!” he chanted, before whipping out a handmade wooden conductor’s baton and disappearing out of the office in a flourish. My mouth hung open for just a few seconds before I immediately clamped it shut.

 

“Ready for the challenge, Alicia, Jo-Ann?” my teacher asked.

 

I shook my head, knowing the impending defeat, but Alicia replied, “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

 

To make a long story short, I lost.

 

 

This last chapter was rather fun to write, especially since I included a single memory from my past, which was losing a chair challenge in music. I still have the paper, knowing that I played much too shakily in a piece and too brightly in the next. Is there a balance?

 

P.S. Apologies to reporters for being wishy-washy and changing three words in this whole article because they would look better.

 

It's time to go, but I'll come back at.

 

 

Other Random Works

The AWSome Series

The Books With Little People Works

Noobersville

Gaining Popularity on the AWS (Coming Soon)

Requiem, Chapter Negative One: Final Greetings

Tanki=Life I

Tanki Personalities (People's Choice Fave)

Requiem, Chapter Zero: Pyco

Tanki=Life II

Cremate

Untreated, Chapter One

Writer's Block I

Financials (Mag Approved)

Untreated, Chapter Two

Writer's Block II

Hope and Disappointment

Untreated, Chapter Three (Twist I)

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Untreated, Chapter Four (Twist II)

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Edited March 20, 2019 by Person_Random

[Flexoo 6,980]

Approved.

 

Edits:

 

- few minor grammar and formatting fixes.

 

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It was a well written chapter with good description and use of vocabulary. The ending was a bit of a letdown, though. You were developing the plot to the part where the chair challenge happens, but all we learned was: "Meh, I lost." I personally would try to elaborate more on the ending.

[TankiNoob2000 231]

Nice as always mi amigo

[Person_Random 4,991]

Approved.

 

Edits:

 

- few minor grammar and formatting fixes.

 

---

 

It was a well written chapter with good description and use of vocabulary. The ending was a bit of a letdown, though. You were developing the plot to the part where the chair challenge happens, but all we learned was: "Meh, I lost." I personally would try to elaborate more on the ending.

Sighs.... me too.  But let's save that for next.

Edited February 26, 2019 by Person_Random

[Person_Random 4,991]

Any other tips you have?  I kind of am trying to think of establishing relations between two characters, but covertly, but the main character doesn't know about that.  Any suggestions?