Fine, I'll PM 'em to you :rolleyes: Nice pic :lol: Well, I only nominated currently active players.

Welcome to my monthly review of all that has been going on in the Breaking News topic on the forum! This is the third in the series - quite a bit has been going on this month, and I'm here to put a twist on it! Just a note; this time round, parts of this article may be harder to understand for newer forum members, as the article sometimes refers to specific players. - Do not take this article seriously; it is very difficult to do so anyway. - Any apparent reference to any person, living or dead, is purely coincidental and unintentional. 2nd August 2013 - Pay crystals with mobile payments and get 25% bonus! "pls i don't no hoow to pay crys i wantt 25% bnus pls pls pls say mee hoooww !!" This is the thought that will have popped into all of your heads upon reading the title of this piece of news, I am sure. You must be feeling distressed, angry, confused. But don't worry, let me explain; the guys at Breaking New have made yet another mistake in their titles. They meant to say pay for crystals and get the 25% bonus, rather than having to pay crystals themselves. "thx goldrock u save teh daay agaiin thx thx thx u ar thhe bstest thx thx u soooo clevr !! !" It's OK, you're welcome guys *blushes modestly* I already pointed out the ambiguity in one of their previous titles, "New FAQ on Livestream", in last month's article. A 'musical' member of the Breaking News team attempted to argue with that fact, defending his title, but as one wise reader interrupted: As a result, that particular member of the Breaking News team broke down into tears, and, sobbing before his computer screen, apologised for his stupidity in attempting to argue with a reporter about the use English (unfortunately, I can't find the quotes which prove this right now, but you all know I always tell the truth, right? *angelic smile*). Anyway, this second title error is clearly unacceptable, though luckily, I was here to help you through your confusion and horror. 8th August 2013 - You choose the discount on August 8! And so, due to your votes, there was a 65% discount on Railgun. Of course, this means we're now all going to be skewered left, right, and centre. So, once again, I called on 999-year-old Professor Mike K. K. to give us some professional advice... and he commented: "destroy those noob rails hhhh destroy them kk?" Once again, we are saved by Professor Mike's quick wit and extraordinary intelligence, coupled with his thorough research techniques. 9 August 2013 - New Sub-section in the Forums! And so, the 'Free Sport' section of the forum was created. Rumour has it that a 'Paid Sport' section will be making its way onto the forum soon, but those sorts of rumours generally originate from bad jokes (such as this one, come to think of it). Anyway, it was an instant success, and one user exclaimed "Hooray! It's free!" apologies for the bad jokes. I'll be a good sport and freely give up this bit now, I think. 14 August 2013 - New paints for staff members! And guess what? They didn't involve a collage of Russian newspapers. The other staff paints clearly aren't in the same league as our Reporter paint; they're in a league above <_< 14 August 2013 - 50% Paints Discount! If I hadn't been on holiday, I would've got In Love. You can't get much better than dark pink hearts on a light pink background <3 16 August 2013 - Mr Tanki Results are in! We all know how the winner of the devs choice turned into a human Firebird. It's obvious; he drank a bottle of vodka beforehand. This meant his mouth was already burnt out when performing his entry. You know how Red Bull gives you wings? Well, in the same way, vodka lets you breathe fire. Just don't try jumping off any buildings after a can of Red Bull. As for the guy who came third, he seemed pretty tough; I wouldn't want to pick a fight with that particular Russian. Note to self: ask le 3vil hamster whether he throws heavy metal weights over his head in his spare time. If so, suggest to le 3vil hamster that he should start throwing the aforementioned heavy metal weights at a certain pig for target practice, terminating potential competition in the form of articles produced by that particular pig. 19 August 2013 - TOF Starts today! Interestingly, I've discovered that the initials 'TOF' are written on the underside of my hull whilst wearing Reporter. So when I'm flipped over in a battle, I now act like an advertisement for the tournament. "Hey enemy player, you've just flipped me! Feel free to look up TOF, the initials on the underside of my hull, once you've done laughing at my humiliation!" 21 August 2013 - Voting for Miss Tanki Online! Raphael got his sister to be in his video for this contest, which inevitably led to exclamations of... Also, some of a lizard's devoted fans headed over to the German community to vote for her there, too, effectively voting for her twice as the votes from both communities were added together. One fan went so far as to vow: 21 August 2013 - "Fiery" Discount this Friday! Nice pun, but the discount caused a pressing issue for many of you, I'm sure. Get roasted by a fresh wave of Firebirds, or invest in a half-price paint? Well, Professor Mike K. K. is here to save the day yet again: "wait for tanki rain to come then all fire go poof hhhhhh" Unfortunately, this is the last time we'll hear from him, as he was recently assassinated by the forum mods. The whole business was planned by a secretive staff member, who identifies herself only as "Mlle S". RIP Professor Mike K. K, gone but not forgotten. Your ideals live on, and shall continue to be upheld by a 99-year-old flea and a 56-year-old Dutch guy, don't worry. 22 August 2013 - FAQ Translated in Arabic! Nice work, Mister_G! Shame they won't pay me to translate it into Gibberish. 23 August 2013 - Miss Tanki Online Results are in! Not surprisingly, a certain lizard came second, though Miss Raphael narrowly missed out on a top 3 spot. And so, this month's review of the Breaking News is brought to a close. Thank you to the guys at Breaking News, once again. What did you like? What d'you think? Feel free to comment about any possible improvements, or to ask for clarification on parts of the article if needed!

I'll post my nominations here, nice idea ^_^ Troller Award flae99 robbie56 Critical Award evil.kinevil Picture Editor Award SwagBoy11 Thread Maker Award Remaine Humour Award hogree skitee unholycloak5 Best Personality lizerdgirl108 That's about it, really.

^You're just mad your record wasn't accepted :lol: But seriously, this isn't intended to be like a world record book at all. It's just meant to be a topic for *major* Tanki records - us judges all have a life, you see, and we don't want to spend ours adding a "most points with Twins in 6 minutes and 32 seconds, Moon Silence CTF, for a Warrant Officer 4" record to this topic. By all means, go ahead and create your own 'tanki records' topic, but players are hardly going to be clamouring to beat a "most flips with Wasp M2 in Combe using Railgun" record, for example. Sorry, but this isn't going to become as popular or as detailed as the "Guiness Book of World Records", nor are we going to make this our full-time jobs. The demand is less, so the supply is less - it would be useless to have more supply than there is the demand for. Basic organisational concept. And how are our records unfair to low-rankers? We even have a few 'lowest ranker to be/do...' records...

Awesome map, would love to play in it :o

I don't hate Robbie :P

Erm, OK then.

Yes, but last time I checked, M0 players play with M0 players, and M3 players play with M3 players, mostly. So it's fair. In actual fact, it would be a lot easier to get a good D/L on a low-ranked account, since the other low-ranked players wouldn't be very experienced.

*Internet; not internet *I'm; not im *I; not i *right,; not right , *don't; not dont *many; not much *typos; not typo's Here is the version with all these corrections applied: :lol:

Exactly what I was going to point out ^_^

Please don't bump old topics :) Also, as others have said, you wouldn't find the stats very useful anyway. It's something that's down to experience. And the community here chooses to contribute to the forum, as players want to get to know one another, and have good discussions. Developing your rep on the forum and gaining friends is infinitely more valuable than crystals, IMO - in the long run, you'll be a lot more experienced on the game if you hang out at the forum, and that's reward enough. You could even end up finding yourself a good team or clan here to play together with and develop your skills, or win crystals through contests on the forum, as well as read useful articles on the game in the 'Press' section.

Well, you probably missed the introduction of the new Friends system in-game.

Nope, he's a bit old for that now :lol: He meant that he misses school as he no longer goes to it.

'Grammer'... +1 :lol:

Yep. Us British mostly use 'mispelt' or 'misspelt', so I didn't recognise 'misspelled' as a word at first ^_^

Well, 3k posts of quality content is better than 4k posts of spam :P

WarTank, it's 'mispelt' :lol: (EDIT) Actually, 'mispelt', 'misspelt', and 'misspelled' are all allegedly correct, says Google :rolleyes:

'Grats Swag and fool4krist ^_^ Went past 3k posts without realising :rolleyes:

Hahahahaha, no. If you haven't got anything contructive to say, don't say it.

Two things: 1. Rules are rules, sorry, so no; that wouldn't be fair on everyone else who put the effort in to stick to the deadline. 2. Don't use your mult account to support what you said, amir.h, it's just lame.

I was right! Yes, I iz stalk you :ph34r:

Yeah, I see him with Smoky/Hornet M2 and Rustle a lot.

You don't have to agree with the rules to agree to follow them, and we've all agreed to follow them by signing up for the game.

Well, mine just did ^_^ Any devices can 'crash', so to speak.

So true :rolleyes: