No way either, It's the computer that made me a reporter ;) Would you swicth your name with mine for 1000$?

nope I'll die of it and not worth it :P Would you breakdance in front of the girl of your dreams for 10000$?

lol

Yes if for more than 1000$ Would you participate in a karaoke in front of a HUGE public for 10000$? I know I won't :P

Because its Halloween ;)

Lol thanks that's gonna help me when I apply for MIT ;)

I'm gonna remember this for all eternity :wub:

I got...32 :( :(

Player eswarseikanth.v has been warned. Reason: Banning someone in a forum game, where it is CLEARLY stated that these are games, that they should not be accounted for. ------>>>> Made up Rules

Yes, I know there’s a mistake in the title. Yes, I did it on purpose. No, I will not change it. Yes, I love candy. Yes, I will slap you if you continue asking questions. So, one month ago I made it into the prestigious Reporter group. Needless to say it was also the time when I received the most PM’s. Some of them were: “Congrats dude!”, others we’re: “ Who are you? How d’you become a reporter?”. Yes, how did I become a reporter? Well, even though I'm at such a low rank, I've been playing Tanki for a while now. So, because I'm too lazy to reply to all the PM's because I want humankind to be smarter and craft a better world for the future generations, let me tell you my path to Reporterness. There’s always a beginning… On January 2nd, 2013, I received a Tanki invite email from one of my school buddies, Thomas. But I basically ignored it, since he sent me --at least-- 50 emails per week. But the next day, I caught a cold (Pretty common in Quebec), so I was sneezing, coughing, and throwing my dirty Kleenex all over the house. To my mother, that meant “That poor child, I hope he gets better…”, so she decided I could stay home and not go to school. Yes my mom is the best mother in the world, I can see your jealous face from here. To me, getting a cold meant, “Yes! 8 hours of web surfing while Thomas receives more detentions!”. So there I was, happily opening Google Chrome. I put my mouse on the search tab, got ready to write, and...stayed like that. I had absolutely nothing to do. Then I remembered the emails (Emphasize on the S of emails) I received the day before. And you’d probably guess that’s when I first signed up for Tanki Online (If you didn't...You might want to see a doctor). Choosing my name was actually quite hard. After attempting to use usernames ranging from KevinTheAwesome to TankiGamer111, I finally settled on Kevred. I'm so happy I didn't take KevinIsTheBest. Man would that be embarrassing. I guess my first battle went pretty well. Not quite sure, but I think I got 3-4 crystals on a battle fund of 9-10 (Remember, at the time it was before the update when all crystals were 10 times less than now. So in my first battle I received the equivalent of 30-40 crystals. Not bad for a beginner). Off topic anecdote Now you’re probably thinking my friend, Thomas, is the best friend you could have in the world. Well you’re WRONG! HE’S THE WORST KIND OF NUG (See under) YOU CAN FIND IN THE UNIVERSE! In fact, when I went to see him the next day, I had this whole speech prepared to manifest my gratitude for showing me this amazing game. But guess what? When I thanked him, he looked at me as if I said the most stupidest thing in the world, and threw in my face : “I wasn't trying to show you it at all. The game said that if I entered some emails, it would give me diamonds!”. Trying hard not to punch his nose off hurt his feelings, I replied in a tried-hard-to-control-but-not-so-controlled voice, “So...you revealed my email to a game you hardly know that might be fake just so you can get diamonds?!?!”. To accommodate the more squeamish readers, I will not describe what happened after. (PM me if you want to know what). Nug: Thanks to the reporters for teaching me this elaborate bad word. Dictionary definition: Starter’s gaming When I had my first matches it was the time when dinosaurs roamed the Earth and people watched TV in black and white, so my memories are a bit foggy. But I do recall mostly using Titan and Twins, because it was simply the easiest to handle! All I had to do was put something heavy, most often a dictionary, on the spacebar, and then use my other hands to turn the turret and manoeuvre the tank. Evidently I was one of the only Gefreiters who turned the turret. I’m not quite sure how good my scores we’re though. After I amassed enough crystals, I bought Hornet (Bad purchase), Mammoth (Badder purchase), Viking (Baddest Purchase), and Wasp (Best Purchase!). Thereupon I commenced driving around in my Wasp/Twins, and needless to say I didn't capture many flags with that combination. So, because of my incredible smartness (That better not be your laugh I'm hearing right now!), I switched to Firebird/Wasp. That was the start of UTOPIA. Just me, a happy little mass murderer running around in my fire spraying tank. And as for all utopias, it wasn't long before it crumbled. Railguns and Shafts began to appear, so now it was just me, a sad little tanker driving to my death. Boy was I fascinated by those turrets. A sound, a whiz, a flashing light, and BAM, you're dead. At first I thought of Railgun as a mysterious and deadly thingamajig ( I didn't even know it was called “Railgun” back then). Then I bought this weapon I thought was a machine gun ( Although I was intrigued by the fact that machine gun bullets could penetrate through multiple tanks), and when I first pressed the spacebar...There I was, a happy little sniper shootin’ tanks here and there, in Utopia 2.0. My first forum experience Thomas, in his never-ending quest for glory, told me that he entered for a contest in the Tanki Forum ( Do I need to mention he did not win?). At that time, Forum had about as much meaning for me as Imbroglio would, so I checked it out. And again everyday. Every hour. Every minute. Every second. I became addicted to it, pretty much spending two hours every day going through the archives. Then again, Thomas, in his never-ending quest for glory (Boy does that sound familiar), showed me the Press. Ahh, what I would have become without him guiding me and teaching me everything about Tanki...Oh wait, without him requesting my account’s password every time, I’d be alot happier. So, as I was saying, Thomas showed me the Press. I LOVED IT. Contests, stories, guides, interviews, everything I love the most all reunited in one spot! Soon my hands we’re bulging with muscles from all the clicking I was doing. The worse mistake of my life (Which is saying a lot) Tanki wasn't all pink and candy to me, though. Just like my friend Thomas, I became greedy for crystals and, when my parents gave me 50$ for my birthday and another 100$ for Christmas, I spent all the 150$ on Tanki Online. By that time I was at rank Master Sergeant, and liked using Titan/Shaft. I bought about 100 000 crystals, and used them to buy Shaft M1. Also, back then there was the option to purchase experience points. So I used my crystals to rank directly from Master Sergeant to Warrant Officer 1. When my parents found out… Saying they were angry is an understatement (I don’t feel like talking about it much, so I’ll keep it brief). I wasn't allowed to use or touch any electronic devices for 6 months. After that, when I came back online, I realised I was back to Master Sergeant, and that all my crystals disappeared. I didn't mind, though. In fact, I was happy about it. All I wanted is to forget about all that mess. Which is ironic considering I'm "commemorating" it right now, but... Meh.) The beginning of “real” Tanking Most of you will know what I'm trying to say. Compare your gameplay now, to your gameplay when you just started playing. Big difference, eh? That’s what I like to call “The noob Tanki” and “The real Tanki”. The noob Tanki, is when all you know is that if you click that green line in the battles section it will bring you somewhere where you can fight. You don’t (Or at least I didn't) know anything about the garage, maps, forum, funds, scores or anything else besides how to drive and shoot. We all had that time. But my transition from Noob Tanking to Real Tanking---When you know everything about the game--- was pretty brutal. Instead of slowly learning from experience like a good little murderer would, I “dumpster-dived” (Thanks @Remaine) the press archives and learned EVERYTHING (Please take note of the caps) about Tanki. I think that’s when I began wearing glasses. For those who are interested, my eyes have a myopia of …. The dawn of Thomas wrecking One day, I was, like always, playing Tanki and blowin’ up some tanks. Then Thomas called me, asking me if I wanted to play with him. I, of course, agreed. I didn't know yet I was about to have the best day of my life. So he chose Serpuhov, I took Fire/Wasp (A fav’), he chose Hornet/Thunder. We started playing CTF, people joined, and soon enough it was one of those full-scale huge battles that lasted hours. After 30 minutes, I realised… I had about 1k points, the top of my team, and Thomas, who had M1 stuff and was 2 ranks higher than me (He was Sergeant-Major), Thomas had 200 points only! And to top it all, a Gold Box dropped, he was right under it, at that from catching it, but charged in, burned him to death and snatched the Gold. Afterwards, he not-so-mysteriously left the battle. I got 1k crystals from that battle :wub: . I've been smashing his ego into pieces ever since. In fact, on the weekend before Halloween, 2014, I played with him again, and causeless to mention my points we’re 10x higher than his. Okay, fine, maybe 5x. My sudden passion for writing I owe Kirby’s chapter 1 and 2 contest my Reporter position. When I started writing my entry, I thought it would be slow, dull, and painful. However, I couldn't be more wrong. I enjoyed writing so much, if it weren't for Kirby’s 500 word limit, I would've probably written a novel. So, I started writing stories everywhere and nowhere. By the way, I'm don't believe in God, or any other religions, but I think my luck was TOO big on the day I sent my entry for the reporter contest. (Got your attention now, eh?). On October 23, the deadline of the contest (Which I didn't even know about yet), I was bored, having nothing to do. So I decided to randomly check the "General" section, that I almost never looked at. The first topic was THE contest. After thoroughly reading it, I started hyper-ventilating, quickly copy-pasting one of my stories and sending it to @conanthedestroyer. I was afraid it was too late. Evidently it was not, or you wouldn't be reading this right now. The next day, Mr. Conan replied, saying that he'll contact me if I was chosen. He didn't contact me, I was not chosen, and this article was posted illegally. The end.

Me and TKP havent done much yet, but Rem already has several articles ready ;)

The Crimson Blades, Part I Crimson Smoke In the far future, when the Galactic Terran Empire was at war with The Dysonian Fleet, two commanders were born. Arshton and Andros of Earth. Raised under the Dysonian threat, making weapons as a hobby, they were not strangers to war. Never knowing who their parents were, their only home was a Terran Military Barrack. Eventually the leaders realized Arshton's skill and Andros's cunning, and steadily, they rose in ranking. Beeeeep! Beeeeep! As the honking continued, I frenetically put on my dusty duty uniform and got on the starship’s bridge. "What's happening?" I asked. "The Crimson Blades are attacking again!" Again? Those pirates had been pummeling us for weeks now, and no reinforcements were arriving. The Star System that filled Sector C was not the paradise I was looking for. Perhaps I should have went with my brother Andros to Sector B. "Activate Grid Consoles and Shield Amplifiers!" I said, although I already knew it was impossible. "None left, sir!" "Weapon Focis and Power Obelisks?" "Neither, sir!" Booom! The whole ship shook as several energy conduits imploded. As if I had any more to spare. Screams and smoke filled the bridge. "Charge up weapons!" I had to repeat my order several times before Sarkas heard it over all the explosions and shouting. "No energy sir! The E5 energy conduits have ruptured!" "Get a repair team down there!" "They can't! All repair teams are either injured or dead!" "Damn it! I'm going in myself!" I said as I took the elevator down to Deck 6. The elevator slid with thuds and thumps down to Deck 6. The doors open, and I'm assaulted with blinding smoke. Covering my nose and mouth with my arm, I charge down the alley. A hear a explosion in the hallway adjacent to me, and a crewmen gets blasted right next to me. She does not get up. Se wasn't any older than 20. As anger rises inside me, I prop open a panel and then slide in the tunnel behind it and started crawling toward the energy conduits at the end. Suddenly the ship shakes again and the wall to my left shattered. XTS-9 gases started floating in. "This is not good." I muttered. XTS gases can kill you in seconds. One of our first classes in the Terran Cadet Academy is how to recognize Xeno-Titancore Somnifere. XTS-9 is one of the weaker gases, but it’s still lethal if inhaled during a prolonged time. I scrambled down the tunnel, reached the conduit, and started reconnecting them. The grey smoke behind me was slowly floating towards me, and it was blocking the entrance. Finally, I finished fixing the conduits, but it was too late. I barely had time to breach a wall next to me and got out before the XTS gases enveloped me. I cleared out, but I knew I must have inhaled some. The ground started to sway in all the directions, and my vision is blurry. When did my hands turn yellow? In fact, when did I start having 3 hands? Uh Oh. I somehow reached the bridge through the mist of hallucinations, and collapsed on the floor. A crew member rushed forward with one of our last hyposprays. "No, save it...for the... others." I mumbled in a very scary hoarse voice. But he still injected me, and immediately I felt better. The world stopped turning and my crew stopped looking green. I got up as fast as I could. “Charge up cannons!” “Cannons ready, sir!” “FIRE!” I watched my screen as the first volley of auto-cannons fired. Two of the four attacking Blade Marauder ships were hit and exploded. The two others retreated. "Ship status?" "Shields are at 13%, and reactors are down, sir." "Maintain Red Alert, and start repairing those reactors if you want a chance to go home." "Yes sir!" I got back to my quarters and lay down on my bed. It had always like this. Sleep. Get attacked. Eat. Get attacked. Make repairs. Get attacked. Sleep. This routine had been going on forever. Supplies and morale were running out, and the promised reinforcements were not arriving. I'd already imagined the headlines in the newspapers: "Commander Arshton's scout ship gets destroyed on first flight." Not the glory I was imagining. Curse these Crimson Blades. What was so important about our ship anyway? Why couldn't they go and attack another ship? Why were they so bent on killing us? I mean, I knew they were pirates, but pirates attacked for loot, and right now our whole cargo wouldn't be able to afford a single Railgun. Then the sirens started honking again. Sighing, I ran back to the deck, and asked for the millionth time: "What's going on?" "Crimson ships are approaching, sir. But our sensors detect no weapon signature." Sarkas looked at me with a questioningly. "I don't know any more than you do, Sarkas. But this may be a trap. Stay on your guards." "Sir! They're... They're... hailing us sir?" Hailing us? Pirates don't chat, they kill first and ask questions later. It's been like that since the distant past, when there was those big scaly things...what were they called? Dinosaurs, yes, dinosaurs, when there were dinosaurs roaming the Earth. My history trainer told me that when I was still a cadet. I still remember myself asking her how knowing what's a cat and what's not is going to change the issue of the war. In fact, I still don't see the importance now that I'm 17 years old, and commanding a ship. "Sir, what do we do?" asked Sarkas impatiently. That pulled me back from my reverie. I took a few seconds to recompose myself, straighten up my Captain's uniform, and wipe away the grime in my face. "Open a channel." I responded. The main screen flickers with static for a second, and then clears up. I tried to distinguish the man staring at me from the other side of the channel. His face looked strangely familiar. He spoke up."Surrender your ship, and we'll promise no one will be harmed." That voice...no, something is definitely wrong here. Then I realized what it was. The man that stared at me through the screen was Andros. -End of Part I-

No not at all i'm honest

-->>>blackopspaul Now THATS a example of maturity

300th post! (well 301th actually)

**cough** **cough** guess this is a bad time to mention I'm 12?

Player mohammed1238 has been banned for 4 seconds. Reason: Calling me a joke :(

Player mohammed1238 has been banned for 3 seconds. Reason: Banning a random person

thanks!

Thanks Gold!

Player Cyborg_Power has been banned for a day. Reason: having banned me multiple times and guess what? I'm still posting. --->>> Rules

no, im attached to my house :P Would you eat something you dont know about for 100$

no way would you sell your room for 1000$?

of course <_< would you erase your memories of the past 5 days for 100000$?

Cheeeeeeeeese................ hmmmmm Would you make yourself vomit for 50$?