I play guitar, acoustic and electric. :D

I didn't realize that there were this many homeschoolers on tanki. Dang.

LOL :D :D :lol:

:lol: Or a in-college\graduated club

The winners will be announced in Issue 45.

Thanks :) You haven't seen me, because I just recently became a reporter. B) My first article was in Issue 43. (The Pathological Drugger.)

Yeah he's a good guy. He's my bro. lol.

Yep, your word count is exactly 750. :)

Inside joke, ha, <_< Blackmail more like it.

Inside joke, ha, <_< Blackmail more like it.

:blink: :wacko: :ph34r: :angry: NUUUUUUUUUUUUU

+++++++++ Trail running. But you already knew that.

:wub: Aw. Thanks Sherman. :)

+

:lol: :lol: :lol: Oh he did get banned, then. LOL.

No. Your call.

this person is not Stratus's brother.

The Adventures of a Nublet: A Compleat Guide to Forum Trolling Disclaimer: Greetings. Once more it is I, . Night-Sisters was quite obstinately determined to write an article about the intricacies of deathmatch...Bah! I am sure we can all agree that this subject would make for a sleep-inducing guide, thus I have decided to take matters into my own hands. In order to support and further all the various forms of trolling, I now give you a clear, concise, and compleat guide to forum trolls. The Basics It is impossible to advance your trolling career without first mastering the basic principles, thus I have arranged an easy-to-read list of the general rules and regulations to be followed. 1. Post in annoying font choices, sizes, and colors. The general rule of thumb is to make your writing as visually unappealing as possible. Large chunks of text should be written in Courier New, French Script MT, or perhaps even Wingdings. (Wingdings) One should always seek to write in very large or very small letters. PROLIFIC USE OF CAPS LOCK IS ENCOURAGED. And of course, always remember to use a ridiculously irritating color. Cyan is a personal favorite, though black can quite effective when used in conjunction with a small font size. 2. Syntax is evil. A smattering of tense issues is good, though placing all your verbs in the Past Perfect tense (E.G. I had gone) is also commendable. It is a trolling requirement to litter your writings with slang and monosyllabic words, so the more you know, the better. Keep in mind that punctuation must be virtually nonexistent!!!! 3. Speling is immoral. Without this tip the guide would be incompleat. Those are the very basics. With that over, the true fun can begin! Trolling with spoilers Multi-Posting Why post it once when you can "accidentally" do it twice...or thrice. Bonus points if you utilize random sentence construction. Useless Topics Ah, good ol' off topic discussion. The only place where one can find a host of witty and valuable topics such as: -How to make a sandwich. -How to pass time in class (Easy way) -How to be happy (easy way) -How to make ramen noodles -How to boil water. The above examples are, however, mere childsplay in the face of real trolling. The following criteria are presented to aide and abet the tricky process of creating a truly useless topic. 1. The topic must be a complete waste of the readers time. 2. The topic must not be humorous It's harder than it sounds...so an example is provided. False Goodbye Posts Every troll worth his/her salt is always going to have an open "goodbye" topic. For one thing, the topics attract scads of drama, and for another, it leaves the other Forum members in a continual state of hopefulness that this time it's for real. This time, ​the dreadful troll that has been plaguing the servers is actually going to leave. Of course, that never actually happens, because the best trolls never give up but continue to amuse and trollify the community for all eternity. But, back to the subject at hand...not all goodbye topics are created equal, so I have prepared a basic one below. It is my hope that readers can implement the principles exhibited in topics of their own. Conclusion Advice imparted. 'til the next time, this is , signing out.

^^ If there were any Romans left, they'd argue that point with you. It might be a dead language, but it's a language nonetheless.

English, Spanish, and I've forgotten more Latin than most people will ever know. :P

Homeschooler club...book club.... Is there really a difference? :P

Yes, just please do not plagiarize from the person who has done it first.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Micro upgrades. To some, the idea of enhancing a tank in small increments is tedious in the extreme. For others, it's even more rewarding than purchasing an "M" outright. Whatever your take on the matter, it is undeniable that Micro-Upgrading is a big subject. The sheer amount of available and relevant information is absolutely staggering and with looming deadlines, it's a bit much for one person to satisfactorily handle. Night-Sisters: So. For the reason stated above and because it's furthering our ultimate goal of female domination in the press, @Phoenix-Warbird and I are going to be co-authoring this one. Phoenix-Warbird: And thus we welcome you to the first ever female-candidate-collaboration newspaper article in TO! This is a long read; you have been warned. For your own satisfaction, I advise you all to skip the parts that Nighty-Whitey has written. Night-Sisters: Don't listen to her, she's pathologically insane. ;) And Phoenix. Can you please, Please, PLEASE stop using that insidious nickname. -,- Phoenix-Warbird: What, 'Nighty-Whitey'? Insidious? C'mon, who names themself Night-Sisters?! Or should I say *themselves? If your name is plural, you could probably collaborate with yourself on this article. *Yourselves, I mean. Tell me that's not weird. Night-Sisters: It's from Starwars, kay. -_- But speaking of 'yourselves'...dear readers, let's start by getting your opinions on Micro-Upgrades! Phoenix-Warbird: How to change the subject, Nighty-Whitey! From the Community Before getting into the thick of things, it may prove insightful to get a feel for the community's thoughts on MUs. Various tankers were polled and asked to summarize their opinions on Micro-Upgrading. These are their responses. Micro-Upgrades: The Good and the Bad. There are advantages to Micro Upgrading...and disadvantages. Before you click that "upgrade" button and dump oodles of crystals in early enhancement you should know exactly what you're getting yourself into. -They’re really expensive. MUs are really expensive. It's the price you pay for getting access to the next "M" early. MUs are about twice as expensive as buying the item outright. -They limit garage diversity. To be clear: Micros limit garage diversity because they're expensive. If you don't buy crystals (and tbh, even if you do make a purchase) the cost can be burdensome, especially at the lower ranks. +They're awesome in DM. MUs are awesome in DMs. Period. Statement. Declarative sentence. It depends on your unique style of play, but Deathmatch is generally where MUed tanks prove to be most effective. The exception to this is Isida: after Micro-Upgrading, its healing power is extremely high - and that is something any team could greatly benefit from. +Full M4 is REALLY SCARY. A maximally upgraded tank comes with one extra parameter that you might not have previously heard of: the scare tactic. M4s are the most powerful tanks you could possibly have, and who wouldn’t want that? You can be sure to feel a difference with having all your stats topped, especially when you’re up against weaker opponents. By going for M3+ your stats are raised by about the same amount as between each regular modification, giving you that coveted "M4". Of course, you could always settle for the halfway mark to save most of your crystals. It would then be safe to say that you have an M3½...which isn't quite as scary as full M4, but still gives you a noticeable advantage over those who don't MU. -You lose them in XP/BP. If you are mainly an XP/BP player, it might not be worth it to get micro-upgrades as you would be spending a lot of time without using them. Paying so much for micros is a huge waste when they just sit in your garage collecting dust. At the very least, if you’re mostly into format battles, you shouldn’t feel inclined to pay for speedups - so definitely avoid spending your crystals on those! +MUing can help you rank faster. Say you have a fully Micro-Upgraded M2 Rail. You are using what is essentially an "M3" weapon against M2 tanks, and it shows. Your K/D rate is better, you survive longer, and you receive more crystals from the fund because you are operating at a higher level than everyone else. Are they worth it? Micro upgrades are expensive. Vastly, tremendously, and flabbergastingly expensive. In fact the cost is so great that it begs the question: is Micro-Upgrading even worth it?!? The short answer: no. The long answer: possibly. Phoenix-Warbird: Both answers are of equal length. Very helpful. Night-Sisters: Ahem. 'Possibly' has more letters. :P But back to the subject at hand... Effective MUing requires an excess of two things: Time, and crystals. As the average tanker is more concerned with the flat-out monetary cost, I delve first into the slippery subject of finances. The charts above put the price of Micro-Upgrading on neat display. Speedups were not included, and the total cost could be lowered through careful use of sales. However, the fact still stands: MUing before M3+ is twice as expensive as simply buying an "M" outright. So. Price-wise, is it worth it? M0-M1: No. Compared to what a tanker can feasibly earn, the amount of crystals needed to MU is simply ludicrous. At this point, a player should be more focused on purchasing and experimenting with different tank combinations. The end result of MUing is a garage with one weapon that is OP for a limited time, and not much else. M1-M2: Same as above. Micros are nothing more than a crystal sinkhole that limits garage diversity. M2-M3: This is where the ballgame changes and 'possibly worth it' comes in. Be it Rail\Hornet, Isida\Wasp or Twins and Mammo, by now, most tankers have found that one favorite combo that they use 24/7. M3 is still a long way off, so, though expensive, Micros can be the catalyst in providing that coveted competitive edge. If you like the idea of MUes, have a favorite combo, and are willing to shell out the crystals, then by all means. Go for it. M3+: It's worth it. Enough said. The time expenditure that MUing requires often takes a back seat to the gigantic crystal cost. However, it is a legitimate and, indeed, a significant factor to consider. The above painstakingly-crafted diagrams show the approximate number of DAYS that it takes to fully MU, provided you go round-the-clock in an unending cycle...and it's a lot. You could, of course, purchase speedups, but that would dramatically increase the total MU price. So if you don't want and/or lack the crystals to hurry along your Micros, just know that you are going to be in it for the looong haul. From the Community: Are they worth it? We go again to the community, who were asked the following questions on the cost-effectiveness of Micros. a.) In your opinion, is the advantage that pre-M3 micro upgrading provides worth the expense? b.) Do you think M3+ micro upgrading is worth the expense? The History of Micro-Upgrades Phoenix-Warbird: (Reads title and groans) Ugh, history? I'll tell you what's history: my interest. -.- You're on your own for this one. Good night. Night-Sisters: ^^ A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away....STARWARS!!!!! No, nein, нет, non, não. The history of Micro-Upgrades, in brief: they entered the game in late 2013 as Update 208. Over the years the system was tweaked, notably on September 24 of 2014, again on May 21, 2015 and then most recently on November 12, 2015. Despite superficial changes, the underlying principles -paying a ridiculously large number of crystals for early enhancement- have remained mostly the same. The End. Night-Sisters: See, that wasn't so bad. :P I like my history served in quick, humane, and painless portions. Phoenix-Warbird: Well I lost you at 'A long time ago'. Post Update The latest update to Micros was a bit of a controversial move on the developers part. The good news? Speedups got cheaper! They are now fixed at half the cost of the MU you are attempting to speed up. The bad news is that you can no longer upgrade specific parameters as you please. Rather, your only choice is to pay for all the parameters, simultaneously, even if you might have only wanted one. This update gives you fewer options, and despite the fact that you may want less, you are forced to pay more. On the bright side, at least you get a boost to all your stats in one go. With the recent update, everybody’s Micro-Upgrades were raised to the level of their most MUed parameter. This gave a huge advantage to tankers who’d MUed only one or two parameters to the maximum; they received full M4 at a fraction of what it's really worth. Now, most tankers welcomed this aspect of the update with open arms. However, there was one strata of players who did not take kindly to this boost in parameters. The BPers. Wasp is a finicky hull...it requires absolute driving precision. So, pre-update, some hardcore BPers did not MU certain parameters, such as Speed, so they could switch fluidly from format battles (with no MUs) to regular games (with MUs) without having to readjust driving techniques. Then came the parameter-leveling 'gift', which gave these players full M4...whether it was wanted or not. Overall, this update has made Micro-Upgrading more user-friendly...however, it did come at the price of a lessened ability to customize your tank. From the Mods: Post Update The last update was rather contentious. Enough so, that, I (@Night-Sisters) decided to conduct an interview with Wiki Administrator, @Issho_Fujitora on the subject. His interesting and helpful take can be found here: A Discussion Of Micro Upgrades. The (fake) Conclusion Well, I hope you (1.) found this article useful and (2.) had as much fun reading this as it was to write it. Be sure to post your feedback and criticisms below. Tell us what worked...and what didn't. And of course. Watch out for Micro-Upgrades. Phoenix-Warbird: Ummm...Night...I'm not sure that applies?!? Night-Sisters: Alrighty, if you're so smart, then YOU end it. :P Phoenix-Warbird: I was beginning to think you'd never ask. ;) Night-Sisters: Uh oh. The (real) Conclusion Readers, whether you are a fan of Micros or not, you now know most of what we could dig up about this fascinating aspect of the game. I say most, because even with the two of us working, there were some aspects of MUing that we simply couldn't cover. (Time restraints, deadlines, jobs, finals, and life got in the way. :P) We did our best to take an entertaining look at this seemingly 'dry' topic, but if you were miserably bored while reading, I apologize. It's only because you neglected to take my advice and didn't skip all the parts that Nighty-Whitey wrote. Best regards, @Night-Sisters and @Phoenix-Warbird

A poem would be fine. :) Choose a scene(s) from a traditional fairytale or legend Go for it.