To paraphrase Linus Van Pelt, had I meant chuck, I would have written chuck. :) (The idea is sort of like places like restaurants or nightclubs that have cloakrooms where you can check your coat (and sometimes weapons, etc...) so you don't have to drag them around with you (and, in the case of weapons, you can't use them on staff members or other patrons...). The phrase "check you brain at the door" has been used (at least among my friends...) to describe things like movies that are fun to watch, even though they're pretty inane. You just check your brain at the door, enjoy the movie, and take back your brain when it's over.) On the other hand, I guess "chuck" could work in this context, too... But I would like to have it back at some point... Now that I've read the article, I can say that it's a fun update of cartoon physics, where the basic rule is, if it's funny, it's possible. T(h)anks!

The madness of Madness... I'm taking a bit of risk here, as I haven't read the whole article yet (but I did at least search for "madness" and found it wanting...), but I didn't want my comment to be buried on page 13... Madness is one of my favorite maps, with its eerie music and lots of opportunities for picking off the unaware with Shaft. The gravitation in Madness, however, is a bit maddening for anyone who's studied physics... Either the whole contraption is floating out in space or in orbit around some star or other massive body, in which case there shouldn't be any noticeable gravitation (for example, someone in low-earth orbit is experiencing about the same gravitational force as someone on earth's surface, but that force is "used up" in providing the centripetal acceleration to keep them from flying off in a straight line - and the same is happening to their spaceship, so they feel like they're floating around inside their big tin can rather than falling to the floor (or ceiling, or wall...(I love nested parentheses))). So our tanks should just float around (see the Tanki nostalgia article elsewhere in this issue of the TO Newspaper for an example). Or, there would have to be some sort of engine propelling the map in the "upward" direction with some acceleration comparable to our familiar "g" (about 9.8 m/sec/sec, or 32 ft/sec/sec for those who still use that antiquated system...). That would require an awesome amount of energy, even for a 15-minute battle. But this is Tanki, so just check you brain at the door, and enjoy the game! :)

Thanks for a great, informative article! (Of course, I read it just after my latest rank-up...) One little problem - a lot of the things you recommend, like having friends join you for a choreographed kill, seem to be a lot like "power-ranking". Or do the mods just turn a blind eye for rank-up parties? :) I have recorded a few of my recent rank-ups, using hypercam. My personal preference is to rank up by dosing a teammate with Isida (like that awesome shot illustrating a Stadium rank-up) - a little less bloody that way... :)

Footnote to point 38: they'll be too busy bragging or insulting other players in battle chat to notice that they're being attacked by some opportunist.

Sadly, I have seen most (or all) of these behaviors (and maybe even been guilty of a few myself - apologies to my victims...). Thank you both (Cke1st and mserbia) for putting noobology on a scientific basis. ;)

I find it particularly ridiculous when someone uses the term "noob" on someone ten or more ranks above themselves. Even if they really are writing from a secondary account and have a legitimate high-rank account, it still looks pretty silly. And what's wrong with being new to the game, anyway? We were all new to Tanki at some point. (OK, some new players ask dumb questions, but that's part of learning...) Here's a concept we should all consider before using "noob" and its kin: "respect". T(h)anks!

What if Tanki had peace treaties? (1/2 :) ) Diplomacy - war conducted by other means. Just a thought...

And another thing (or two...) I'd like to add my voice to the chorus complaining that the charge for changing missions should also be cut in half. Similarly, I agree with those who think the "scavenger hunt" missions (find various types of supplies) encourage waste and distract people from proper gameplay. I have to admit that there were times when I grabbed supplies I didn't really need for gameplay, just to fill a mission quota.

I learned a long time ago that it's a good idea to look a gift horse in the mouth. It may need enough dental work to put you in the poor-house... :) The value of the original daily missions was certainly an improvement over the old daily gifts, and seemed a fair trade for the extra effort involved. I don't have any real statistics, but it seems that cutting the value in half would bring it back down to about the level we were getting with the gifts. Maybe a 50% cut is a bit drastic, but I can understand it from the developers' point of view - they're looking to see what effects it will have on the way people play the game (and buy crystals...), and it's easier to see the effects of a sharp change in the rules when looking at the noisy statistics of the game than the effects of a more subtle change. (I'm using "noisy" here in a technical sense... the curious are invited to look up the concept of noise in statistics and signal-processing.) Personally, I would prefer that the rewards be skewed a bit more toward crystals rather than supplies, now that we have to "work" for them. Some people feel that there's too much "drugging" in the game, and the large amounts of supplies given as rewards encourages that. With crystals, we can each decide what sort of equipment and/or supplies will help us most toward playing better. One thing about the missions that I like (so far...) is that it encourages me to go to maps and play types of games that are a bit out of my comfort zone. Variety is the spice of life.

All four of the gold boxes I've taken have been pretty much accidental - 1) a bunch of players annihilated each other, and I just walked in and took it 2) I "spawned" on the floor of Madness right next to a gold box. No one else was near, and I couldn't believe my eyes. I crawled over to it, and it was mine 3) In Rio, at one of my favorite Shaft sniping spots, I saw the drop zone being drawn right in front of me and just patiently waited for the box to drop (I gulped down a repair box just to increase my chances of surviving long enough...) 4) In Garder, I was up on the catwalk and saw the box land. There was someone coming from the other side, but I got there first. So, even for those of us who are only moderately skilled, gold boxes sometimes do happen... :)

Hi - I came across the following username during a battle: HitLer992 I'm a bit surprised that someone was able to reach a rank of something like WO3 using a name like that without being caught (the rules prohibit use of Nazi symbols, and I think this qualifies...). Please take appropriate action. T(h)anks!