Ten thousand and seven.

God.

404 Nickname Not Found

15 hours.

nothing

Do frogs fly when we're not looking? Is a cloud made of acid? Why do banks leave vault doors open but chain the pens to the desk? Who is anime and is it tangible? Why can't we give half the Atlantic Ocean to Africa so they won't be thirsty? Do spies get spied and if not who keeps them in check? And if they get spied on, who spied on them? How come only Americans can be dumb? Do floppy disks serve a greater purpose? Who is my cousin's cousin if I'm dead and have no other relative? Can I be alive while in a black hole if I crunch up real small? Why did the spider climb the water spout? Why did the rain come down and wash the spider out? Why did the sun come out and dry up all the rain? And then why the flip did the spider do the same dumb move again and climb the spout again? Do caterpillars really turn into butterflies, and if so how do we know if we never saw what happens inside a cacoon? If I kill but don't tell anyone it was on purpose, am I legally ok? If philosophy was real, would we live in a paradox? Can humans live off air and water? If not, how do aliens exist? My mother hates me. How many times does a human pick his/her nose in their life in contrast to how many times a human picks another humans nose in their life? Is our universe worth anything? If evolution is real, why do humans get dumbed? How many oranges does it take to create an apple? Can many Samsungs does it take to create an apple? Is movement matter or a wave? How old does one need to be to be able to make dad jokes? Can women make dad jokes? Where are mom jokes? Can I trick my hard drive into holding more than it can like I trick my friends into doing so? Is a friend defined by the friend or the person who's friend it is? If humans can have inhuman friends, can non-living objects be our friends? Do Russians communicate through language or through a binary code of either one or zero vodka bottles downed? Can I breathe in space if I really try? What time is it a second before a minute if the minute is the last minute of a person who's lifespan is one second? Can a person jump past the Sun? Can I touch the Sun if wearing oven mitts? Is it possible to learn calculus at 2? Where does the president's toilet plumbing pipes lead to? What is spaghetti if it's chopped into smaller pieces? Who invented eyebrows? Can I condense the mass of a black hole to the extent to where it becomes a black hole? If a person was born with a defect which gave him two sets of vocal cords, would he be able to say two things at once? Can a human give birth to a bird if they drink enough energy drinks? Why do countries only exist on land and not in the water? Is it illegal to inflict paint onto one's self and if so how is the crime punishable? Is being depressed from being too happy possible? How do ants see humans? Do they have weather networks predicting the next human foot? If infinity is the biggest number what happens if I put a nine after it? If dividing by zero is undefined, how can I do it if need be? Can I name myself after my child? What is the speed limit in space? If there are none how do we prevent crashes? If a wild animal breaks into my house how do I get it to only eat my siblings? May the force really be with me or am I simply experiencing an earthquake? How do we know the earth has a core if we've never been to it? If the earth is truly round how do not roll off? How many cups of water does it take to fill the ocean? Are waves made by underwater farting fish? How does a fly fly or does it just walk on air? How come birds don't fly with the same wings as flies but just move them fast to incorporate more weight? Do mirrors process my image at the speed of light or the speed of light mirrored? How come fish don't get diabetes? Do books make you smarter even if you read them as slowly as a dumb person? Do movies make you dumb even if you see one second of one a day? Do dead people hear anything and if not who are you to say such a thing? Is your name Jeff if your name is Jeff? Where do we have two eyes if it doesn't help us see behind us? Why do computers die quicker than us if they're so smart? Why don't we have layers of fat surrounding our toes to protect us from stubbing them? Can we live on the Sun if we get lots of A.C.s which are solar powered?

cool story m8

Justin On Vacation ... (again)

"Did you kiss or get kissed under the Mistletoe?" Does this actually happen in real life? :/

Neither was I. The last installment had a lot better results. :x Not a bad idea at all. Very possible. However, it will be more complex. To be able to judge the contest correctly, I'd have to see the skybox in effect (as an actual skybox in the game). And for that to be done, like Pun said, the skybox will need to be made correctly; that is, a large image wide enough to be divided among four sides equally and correctly. Nevertheless, thanks for the idea!

Results

We've received quite a handful of good entries over the last month and a lot, and now it's time to reveal the best of them all. Did you win? Let's find out! As mentioned before, we received a ton of entries. I'm so glad so many of you took your time to participate. One thing I would like to note however, is that even though I didn't make it forbidden, I said we weren't looking for images plucked from the internet, that's already Tanki's job. We wanted original made paints, which is what most of you delivered, but there were a few copies from other random websites on the internet. With that being said though, let's dive right into the winners! Winners The 1st place prize goes to @Musa, for creating the 'Shatter' paint! He/she receives 50 000 + 2 days of Premium Time. The 2nd place prize goes to , for creating the 'Autumn Leaves' paint! He/She receives 35 000 + 1 day of Premium Time. The 3rd place prize goes to @Hazeral, for creating the 'Mystical Forest' paint! He/She receives 25 000 . The 4th place prize goes to @Musa, for creating the 'Tetris' paint! He receives 15 000 . The 5th place prize goes to @Alankrit_XT, for creating the 'Arctic' paint! He receives 15 000 . Consolation prize of 3 500 goes to: @CabbageRoll | Untitled paint Thanks to everyone who participated! Comment down below what you thought of the winners, and if you'd like to see such contests pop up in our issues again in the future.

AND THEN A VOICE STRUCK! "I SPEAK TO YOU FROM BEYOND!" THUNDERED THE VOICE OF THE BLESSED MOLT. The winners of the contest will be released this Friday, January 11th, 2019. You can feel free to submit entries until a day before then (Thursday, in case your brain is broken), but no later than that, this is the latest I'll go. I've procrastinated a bit too much. Happy Easter!

Looks cool but doubt gameplay would be good on such a simple map. KEEP BUILDING!

The cross-through format joke is lame cross-through joke is lame.

AKA We want to sleep. Guys, remember that you can still enter for the Design A Paint contest. Do so here. They're not so many entries and it isn't too hard to do, and that combined with the especially big prize should definitely convince you to enter.

Sure.

Seeing as there have been very few entries, the deadline has been extended for another issue. The deadline is now Friday, December 28th at 17:00 UTC+0.

Why'd you miss a version of the game which is not developed nearly as much? The only answer is nostalgia.

We coincidentally had a different CM from the day you left until the day you came back.

Your monitor is a bit small. What's the resolution? I thought you had a monster PC and would have a massive monitor.

Greetings, readers! Here at the Tanki Online Newspaper, we are passionate about providing you with information on all the latest updates, turrets, hulls, maps, contests or just about anything related to the community or game; and you can trust us to cover it all. Some spooky stuff has happened recently, so be sure to get your night light on, or else those nightmares are bound to haunt your dreams! Magenta officially kills Flexoo, consumed with guilt; vows to cut down on lengthiness By NotMagenta On Monday, 8th October, Mr. @Magenta, who was recently promoted to the position of guest writer, released a statement following Mr. @Flexoo's "official death." Many believe that, although it is only "official," the death might be real. He did, after all, fail to post the Main Topic on Friday. It is also popular belief @Hexed might be the real killer, and not @Magenta. This belief, while popular, is not official. Anyway, without further ado - people always seem to say that when they are done with all the ado - let's get to Mr. @Magenta's statement. It might be worth noting that he stuck to his cards during the press conference, and did not surprise us by saying "I am Godmode_ON." Anyways, here: "I, Magenta, known to closed ones as Evans (please?), hereby solemnly swear that I will henceforth only utter the most minimum of words, and that I hereby officially," he paused, waiting for some giggles, then paused some more, but in vain, and then continued with a surly face, "renounce the sin of lengthiness." Not wanting to part with a failed pun, he left with the tried-and-true pun: "Tank you for your time." The TO Newspaper enslaves so-called 'Guest Writers' due to low budget By @Yisroel.Rabin As the newspaper gets larger as the months pass by, new reporters are desperately needed to keep the boat afloat. However, budgets have been reduced by almost half by unknown 3vil forces and recruiting full-time new reporters would be pretty much impossible. This being the unfortunate reality, the Administrators of the communist-run newspaper decided to gather desperate five year olds who would dive the deepest ocean for the tiniest bit of fame, and give the children the opportunity to make their dream a reality. Being the uneducated dummies they are, the group of tankers agreed to work without pay; anything to get them into the newspaper. And so, the 'Guest Writers' were born. Ever since their establishment back in September, they've been working long and hard for the newspaper, receiving no pay whatsoever, only commands from the 0verlords. Meanwhile, the reporters get to sit back and relax while getting paid nine gummy bears every minute for the little work they do. The newspaper seems to not have any plans regarding the disruption of this brilliant intuitive, and plan to keep it up until the Guest Writers get smart enough to start asking for some kind of insentive, by which time a whole new flock of noobs should come around, and will be taken in while the current ones get chucked out. Guest Writer thethiefofvictory has no idea what Halloween is By @Magenta When V'tando (@Flexoo is officially dead, remember?) asked his slaves - officially known as "Guest Writers" - to write some articles for the Special Halloween Newspaper Issue, @thethiefofvictory was quick to raise his hand. Everyone thought the prodigy had a brilliant idea to share; but alas, it was nothing of the sort. Instead, he asked, "What's Halloween?" like a naive-innocent-little child would ask his mommy how he came about in the universe. *cough*. Anyway, The Dictator decided to poke further at the issue, and ask a few people about their opinions regarding the scandal. "It is quite a scandal, no doubt," @GrandExecutioner said. "If you need to get rid of all the evidence supporting the occurrence of this shameful incidence, I'll be more than happy to do my part and axe off the appropriate heads; just give a missed-call to this number: 1-800-AXE-FOR-HIRE." When we asked V'tando for a statement regarding The Newspaper was going to do about this, he replied "Any complaints against Reporters or Guest Writers will only be taken in writing. We will be more than happy to deal with any individuals involved if you send us the appropriate complaints - in writing. Now, please, I've business to attend to." What fate awaits @thethiefofvictory? I dunno. GrandExecutioner axes thethiefofvictory after being driven to madness By [member=GrandExecutioner] Alleged hacker on Halloween map mystery solved by conspiracy theorists By @Yisroel.Rabin Within just a few hours of the Halloween map being released on the servers, players started complaining about a so-called hacker who was stealing gold boxes. The hacker was described as... undetectable. All complaints claim that golds were simply caught approximately ten feet above even the highest tank. Meaning, there was an invisible tank hopping around stealing golds. Developers responded saying they're looking into the problem. Unfortunately, that's a lie. That being so, a bunch of young noob conspiracy theorists decided to try to fathom the situation in what would best be described as the least plausible explanation to the problem and call it the ultimate truth. Among many theories they had, and the one which later proved to be true by investigator gators was what the theorists called 'The Ghost Hacker Hypothesis'. The theory, as the name suggests, was that there are ghosts scattered throughout the graveyard of the map, which love bugging unsuspecting tankers, and therefore steal golds randomly as they drop for the sky. At first, it seemed dumb, but after further inspection by investigator gators using spectator mode, which is equipped with infrared ghost detecting abilities, it was discovered that there were in fact ghosts rising from the graves and stealing golds from innocent gold hunter mults. Top secret photo leaked of alleged ghosts roaming the graveyard taken by infrared spectator view Godmode_ON alleged strikes against Tanki Online due to low salary By @Yisroel.Rabin Unlike in previous years, the appearance of the notorious gold dropper and mysterious tanker @Godmode_ON was absent this Halloween. At first, we thought it was just the came being cheap again, and that the absence of the grim figure was just something to be coupled with the 30% off sales we received. However, that hypothesis soon drifted away when Russian hackers working for us unveiled the truth. Godmode_ON has been on strike for the past couple of months against the game's administration and has refused to take any orders and make any appearances in the game due to his low salary from the game. Reportedly, he's not even getting paid half as many gummy bears as the Newspaper Reporters receive for just one article. As of right now, the game's administration is trying to negotiate with Godmode, but he's apparently locked himself in his room with a fridge full of puddings and has no plans of coming out to listen to what anyone has to say. We'll update you if anything weirder than this happens. If you want to read more from The Dictator, here are the news reports from previous months! The Dictator Issues - July 2014 - August 2014 - September 2014 - October 2014 - November 2014 - January 2015 - February 2015 - March 2015 - August 2015 - December 2015 - January 2016 - February 2017 - March 2017 - April 2017 - May 2017 - June 2017 - July 2017 - September 2017 - October 2017 - November 2017 - December 2017 - January 2018 - February 2018 - March 2018 - April 2018 - May 2018 - June 2018 - July 2018 - October 2018 The Dictator Specials - The Dictator Special | Origins of Nives

This topic will be left open for discussion and questions you may have. Entries posted here will not be judged (unless submitted to the form as well). If you have any questions on how to use TankiViewer, or anything else regarding this contest, ask them below and they should be answered sooner rather than later. Thanks!

Hey tankers! There are an abundance of paints in the game, ready for you to use them with style on the battlefield. But didn't you ever think of making your own paint? Well, you can, and you can even win some crystals for doing so. Partake in the contest and win! Task Your task, if you choose to accept it, is to create an all-new custom paint and submit it in this special form for a chance to win. How to Participate To participate you'll need to download TankiViewer. You can find the link to a guide on how to use it and where to download it here. When you've done that, create a custom paint using any kind of editing software. To display the image on TankiViewer, bring the image of the custom paint to the 'custom' folder in the TankiViewer folder ('TankiViewer' > 'data' > 'colormaps' > 'custom'), and rename the custom paint image to '01.jpg.' Then open TankiViewer, "equip" the paint on your favourite combo, snap a picture of it, and upload both the image of the tank wearing your custom paint and the image of the colormap (the custom paint file) itself to Imgur. Then, submit the Imgur album with the two images to this special form and you're done! Things to Remember A maximum of 2 entries per participant. If a participant submits more than 2 entries, only the first 2 will be judged. Be original with your paints. Make your own image, don't just download an image from Google Images and submit it. We aren't looking for that. Plagiarism is 100% forbidden and will result in disqualification from the contest. It's a good thing to photoshop your image of the tank wearing the paint too (add a potential name for the paint, maybe your nickname too, an explosion in the background, etc.). It doesn't have to be a plain image of TankiViewer. Click here to see an example of a good entry from a previous contest. Prizes 1st place: 50 000 + 2 days of Premium Time 2nd place: 35 000 + 1 day of Premium Time 3rd place: 25 000 4th and 5th place: 15 000 Deadline Friday, January 9th, 2019, 17:00 UTC+0 Good luck to everyone who participates! And remember to read those rules carefully.

I felt good when I saw that for the first time back when it came out because as far as I can remember, I invented the term Modeless Spectator.