Thanks :P And, if I can hide in Amateur Writing Section, I think I can post here too. :cool: But honestly, yea, I can, it should won't get entered in any "Best of Amateur Writing" contests, obviously. Me too. ;) Meepz.

Disclaimer: This story makes no sense.

That moment you get caught doing this: And that moment you get caught doing this:

^ :lol:

One day, Dr. Borgstein, a pronounced professor in Tankiology and the way XP/BP affects the human as a whole mentally, was eating a tuna and jellyfish sandwich when suddenly, a large explosion of light erupted outside his kitchen window, which was followed by a loud BANG, which was followed by a very specific Hesky crashing through the now shattered window. There was a couple of awkward moments of silence before one of the two finally spoke. "Oh, hey Dr. Blopbeard." Hesky said rather casually. "I was just testing out this new feature I added onto my bike, when something went wrong..." "You don't say?" Borgstein stared through the massive hole in his wall; the crash had totally destroyed the window, and replaced it wth a much larger hole. "Hmm, maybe I can just get a really big painting?" "Yea, whatever Blisterback." Hesky said, waving his arm in from of Borgstein's face while examining his bike with full concentration, indicating to Borgstein to go away. "Oh wait, no. That was rude. Sorry, Burphead." "Oh, it isn't such a big deal." Borgstein fluttered. "Nah. Really." Hesky denied. "How about I make it up to you with a ride on the back seat of my bike to my secret headquarters, where I build all my pocket knives and lock picking tools out of spare soda cans? After I'm done repairing my bike, that is." Hesky was known for having those weird hobbies. He'd go around snatching classmates' empty soda cans to cut them up with knives he stole from the teachers desk, in the drawer of mysterious things which were believed never to be seen again once in the hands of the teacher, and make lock picking tools out of them to break back into the classroom to annoy his teachers after they kicked him out. "Um... I don't know, I sort of–" "–Okey, great!" Hesky cheered excitedly. "Now, Brickbrain, go back in there and finish eating that... thing. I'll call you out when I'm done." "But... Oh, whatever." Borgstein decided it couldn't be that bad. Right? RIGHT? * * * After an hour or so of intensive clanking and banging sounding from Borgstein's kitchen, Hesky was done repairing his garbage bike he almost certainly found in the dump. "Tada!" He yelled, to no one. His bike was covered with loose screws and duct tape, which for some reason wasn't sticking to well. The wheels were popped, but that's how they probably came, and it seemed that every time he repaired his bike, which was quite often, he would add a new-old funky horn to the handlebars. This time it was a moose-head shaped horn that 'moo'ed when you smashed it. "Bitterbark, you ready to take this baby for a spin?" Hesky called out to the living room, where Borgstein was fast asleep. "BOBBLEHEAD!" Hesky screamed. "Wha... Wh... What?" Borgstein woke up and jumped up into a salute position. "Reporting for duty, Sir Marshmallow the Third!" "Um, Bibface?" Hesky called. "You're living in your dream, now snap outta it and come take a ride on my bike." "What bike?" "This bike!" "Oh, that bike..." Borgstein nodded his head. "Where?" "Oh my goodness!" Hesky yelled. "Just sit here." Borgstein sat on the back seat, and Hesky immediately followed, sitting on the front seat. Hesky flipped the biggest switch on the bike and engines began rumbling. "Are you ready?!" Hesky yelled over the roaring engines. "No!" "'Go'?!" Hesky yelled, obviously mishearing Borgstein. "Whatever you say, Bad Breath! GOOOO!" Hesky zipped through the gears and off the bike flew. It zoomed out the house and down the street, out into the main street. * * * After hours of horrifying cycling for Borgstein, Hesky came to a stop, at the city dump. "Did you run out of bubble bath soap which you somehow use as gas?" Borgstein suggested. "Don't be ridiculous! I never run out of bubble bath." Hesky said, disgracefully. "We're here." "This is your headquarters?" "You got it!" Hesky grinned, anticipating Borgstein's astonishment. "Come on, let's go!" It was already nightfall as the two creaked open the large metallic gate of the city dump. It stunk like skunk, and had towers of garbage bags as high as an average building. They walked through the stinky yard of trash and examined broken objects as they passed by them. A hoarders dreamland. Hesky's dreamland. "Shush!" Hesky stopped in his track. "I hear footsteps." "So?" Borgstein asked. "Can't it just be another group of weirdos who snuck out to the dump to visit their secret headquarters?" "No." Hesky rejected the possibility hastily. "No one ever comes here this late. I know, I practically live here." "No wonder you stink." "Shhh!" A shadow lurked out from behind a pile of garbage bags. A tall fellow with hair falling out of his scalp and teeth sticking out of his mouth in all directions. He was none other than Bryan. A guy who's known among the children of the city as a homeless mentally ******ed dude, who makes his way in life by carrying 20 bags in either hand and walking from bus stop to bus stop screaming at folks who don't put sun screen on their neck in the winter. He would board the bus with no change whatsoever and put on a riot for the bus driver about how the tickets are too overpriced these days. "Bryan, leave us now, or I'll unleash my amazingly awesome totally rad super duper constructive powers on you!" Hesky jumped out in front of Bryan, feeling tough and strong, obviously looking quite weak and puny. "Yo, kid, shut it!" Bryan yelled, though in a rather bored and dull voice. "I can beat you, and your big professor friend any day." "He probably could beat you up though." Borgstein whispered to Hesky. "You're kinda weak." "Three..." Hesky began counting down to total doom. "Two..." "One." Bryan said and whipped out a pistol, aiming it at Hesky. "I'm not scared!" Hesky called out to Bryan, who was still standing quite far away from him. Around twenty feet. "Bookers, I'm scared." Hesky gritted through his teeth to Borgstein. Borgstein took a step forward, and slowly began walking toward Bryan, until he was only a foot in front of his nose. Borgstein stuck his hand into the pocket of his old worn out coat, and pulled out a half eaten tuna and jellyfish sandwich. "Take this," he outstretched his arm with the sandwich in his hand. "and leave us." "Oh... Oh, you're good, Bogstein." Bryan laughed unhappily. "You're good, but you won't be so good next time. Oh, you'll see." Bryan snatched the sandwich out of Borgstein's hands and stuck it in his mouth for safekeeping. He clapped his hands three times and suddenly, out of the dark night sky, a helicopter swooped in and hovered over the garbage dump, its lights searching. "Well, that's my lift!!" Bryan yelled over the helicopters blasting propellers. A rope ladder dropped. Bryan picked all his bags up in one hand, and climbed up the ladder with another. "See you tomorrow!" He yelled from the top of the ladder, right before jumping in and flying off, leaving Dr. Borgstein and Hesky in the darkness, quite alone. #6699FF

Brofist!

Do you have an email linked to you account (the one you can't get the password to)?

I see the problem. Did you come to ask for a solution, or notify everyone that you've already thought of one?

What's the difference between this and the Ratings system? :huh:

Well, you seem to be aware of my existence. Does that make you a nug? Anyway, please don't go off topic. xD but ur a nug so whatever

How to be a superhero cool kid! :D

It's whatever you want it to be. You just have to believe!

.... . / .. ... / .-- .- - -.-. .... .. -. --. .-.-.- / .. / .- -- / ... - .- .-.. -.- .. -. --. / - .... . / ... - .- .-.. -.- . .-. .-.-.-

Ze golds are raining, but ze noob Yisroel cannot catch many.

*Twiddles fingers.* Okey, umm, nice story, really enjoyed it, was quite interesting. Nonetheless, you unfortunately won't be getting the "in-depth" corrections like "I changed 'me and him' to 'him and I'," because I may or may not have closed the tab while proofreading. I was able to recover the proofread story, but not the logged corrections. Hope it's not too much trouble. Anyway, here are the list of basic corrections and changes: - Slight rephrases to help read more fluently; - Fixed punctation errors; - Added consistent formatting as well as a title; Note: In punctuation, I honestly don't know if the way you made quotes (when people talk) is right or wrong, because there's a couple of ways of going about it, and they're all right, so I simply changed them to the way I would write them.

:lol: I love this thread. Why have I never stumbled upon this before?

How to think like a noob: 'You have three reasonably explanatory answers already, but being I have an urge to boost my post count and look smart, let me say the same exact thing the last three guys did.' Players can no longer create regular battles. If you want to create a battle, you can only create PRO-battles with a PRO Battle Pass. If you want to join a regular battle, visit your local server and join a regular battle, or click the 'Battle' button for the game to send you to a random non-PRO battle, or create a new one to suit you best. The non-PRO battles you see in the battle list are server-made battles.

I am not one for entertaining my ever so emotionless soul with "practical jokes". Oh dear no, that is not me, not me at all.

I'm sorry if you guys think this is a joke, you must all be too uneducated.

See you tomorrow. Oh boy, where to I begin? Damn_Slow, wabbit, just know you're awesome. I don't need to write a novel about how awesome you are, because everyone knows it already. You've contributed oh-so-much to the community over the years, and was definitely the funnest staff member helper to be around. Unfortunately for me, I never got to get to know you better, but I don't need to be a close friend for you to have a positive impact on me. It's been a pleasure knowing you, have a good one!

I'm sorry, you're 100% correct. I misspoke. Apoligize. Just ignore that sentence.

I'm... confused.

+50

Okey, you're making good points here, allow me to try and explain. First, let me get this off my chest: I'm not a moderator, it isn't my duty / job to deal with anyone. I'm a newspaper reporter with no powers outside the newspaper. However, I try my best to handle the forum and chat when I feel I'm needed, not because I need to, but because I want to. Vigilance. Now, I'm gonna break down you post into sections: "That is what we are saying, your duty is to help players not advise them to leave game." The moderators duty, as you put so well, is not to advise players to leave. So, the obvious difficulty arises; if that's so, why did I advise a player to leave? Well, think of it this way: certain players (we'll discuss how many soon, when I get to the next part of your post) aren't ready to accept anything. When the devs produce an update, they often give their reasonings, and in my perfectly honest opinion, their reason for this update is quite a reasonable one. But, when people decide to ignore the devs reasons and automatically go for the alternative "player invented" reason of "Tanki's doing it for money", and put on a show without even trying to look at both sides, it's kind of hard to make them happy. So, what do I advise those players to do? Leave. Not because it's a bad update and if they don't like it they should leave, but because they simply won't accept anything I tell them. What I'm saying is, there are certain players who you can talk to and certain you can't. Some seem to enjoy arguing while other simply want their voice to be heard. I, personally, like to debate, but I only can if the other party is willing to accept, think, and compensate what I'm telling him. You can look at previous updates, and I did have a few conversations with people who disagreed with me, but only the ones who were willing to listen. You can't debate with a lion, because it doesn't really care what you have to say. It'll just interrupt you mid-sentence and end the debate, in a sort of permanent way. Now of course, I'm not saying some players here are lions, but you get the idea. "Nobody like this update, do you want all players to leave?" Nobody? Well, I believe that's an exaggeration. Perhaps a handful of players don't like the update, but quite a few do. I dislike it, but I'm accepting it because I understand it's for the greater good (see the reason the devs gave). Now, just read the paragraphs above. I for sure don't want all players to leave, and I definitely don't want them to be forced to accept something they don't want. What I want is players who don't like the update to make their voice heard, but in a normal way. I don't want to see (excuse me for using this overly formal word) inappropriate content being spewed at helpers, or anyone. No one deserves to be called names because they agree with what the devs implement to the game. I want their to be calm debates with constructive criticism; the game needs feedback, not harassment. Voice why you like or don't like the update and why, no need for "riots". "If you don't like Cedric's post would you ask him to leave Tanki?" You know, if Cedric acted the way that guy did, which is highly unlikely, I'd probably advise him to shut it as well. But the problem is, Cedric wouldn't act like that. Cedric has the position he has because he doesn't act like that. So, that's my say, you can either get back to me with epic comeback saying I'm just a blabbermouth, or you can read what I've said and take it to heart. The choice is yours. I can't tell you for certain, but I don't think so. I think once a player catches a gold box worth 5k, 10k, or 50k, he's entered into the contest and that's it. Remember, you're only entered into the contest if you catch a gold box worth 5k, 10k, or 50k. 1k golds won't get you an entry.