49ers, definitely. It's funny though, how the coaches of both teams are brothers.

Jayjey419: If you cannot interpret what that means, then I suppose you are beyond the point of assistance.

Not as of yet. I probably will once I head off to college in a few years.

I can speak a little Russian, yes.

Read the descriptions, kid!

-removed-

Thank goodness I'm above all you little humans. B)

Why, thank you! The Russian interclan championship is coming up.

Haha; No, I do not have the Champion paint. Yet.

Yes, it is. Which is exactly why it is in the Newspaper Archive. What's your point?

Lol, not a single English person. All Arabs and Russians. :P

Crystals can be given to a player in exchange for real money, because that is how the creators of the game earn their living. You know how your mom or dad goes to work to provide money and food for your family? This game is a lot of Russian people's 'work.' ;)

Bump much? Dictator is now the best tank, statistically speaking.

The freezing effect on a tank lasts for nearly three times as long as it did before. Even if one has a mammoth with the best freeze protection paint, a freeze can easily stop the mammoth in its tracks. Even if the mammoth manages to kill the thing, the freeze will just come back, to find that the tank has moved 20 meters or less. It's ridiculous.

Skit don't own no newspaper. :-P

International Perspectives It is a rare event to find yourself speaking the same language as everyone else in a pickup battle. This is because Tankionline, with its nearly twenty million players, has a vast reach, that in fact goes all around the world. From China to Canada, there will always be at least a few kids who are logged on to the massive battles of the game. Today, we are going to see just how diverse this game's population is. We will have interviews from players all around the world, who give us their nation's players' view on the game! Enjoy! CompanionCube : Canada hotwheel : Malaysia MickGur : Israel ARAKELYAN : Russia KlubnikaNikolaena : Portugal SuperNick95 : Italy D7D7 : Saudi Arabia fathullo.shokirov : Moldova falcosenna1 : Belgium FederalBureauFBI : Bulgaria White_Owl : Ukraine Tommy60 : United States of America

Think you're funny? Do you think you're clever? Try your skills in the Comic Captions contest! Rules: 1. Captions may be added in any manner, from inserting speech bubbles to simply a line of text above the image. 2. One may submit one entry per image, no more! 3. All captions involving sexual content, racial slurs, inappropriate humor, and political propaganda will not be considered. 4. All entries must be sent to my inbox by February 15, 2013. 5. One winning entry for each image will be displayed in the next issue, along with a new set of images. Prize (per 1 winning entry): 1000 crystals

I don't seem to remember M1 Smoky + M3 Dictator with a good paint and a few drugs being this dominating in battle. I would have ended in first place if I didn't lag for the entire last half of the game. Not as much of a complaint as a "Hey, would you look at this...?"

With each upgrade of the smoky weapon, the odds of the 'bonus' shot happening are increased by a few percentage points. At M3, the chance that a smoky shot will deal 190 damage is 8%. In other words, out of every 25 shots you fire with the gun, around 2 of them will deal 190 damage exactly.

During the transfer to this new forum layout, a few topics, including this one, were a bit jumbled up. The original post for this article was deleted or moved elsewhere, so at one point, it was just a topic full of replies to a story that wasn't there. I could not find the links for the pictures that went with this article, but luckily, I saved the text on my hard drive.

Notice: I was only able to recover the text for this edition. My apologies. Smoky XT Chronicles: Domination KRA-KOW! The explosion marks my twentieth kill in a row, without any injury being inflicted upon myself. This new weapon, this <<Smoky XT>>, is unlike anything I have ever seen! The time between rounds is almost nonexistent, and the damage dealt out with each shot is incredibly high for one of its caliber. Thinking this, I destroy another helpless enemy. Twenty-one. With each kill, my breath quickens, and the anxiety grows. Getting friendly with another is not an option; he may turn his back on me. Speaking is, as always, unnecessary. Any of those amateur mistakes could lead to an unexpected death. I have advanced through the rankings quickly, from what I have gathered from my adversaries who have made the error to speak. I now am aware of the various ranks in this world, and the names designated to them. When I first came into existence, I was a puny, insignificant recruit. I am now a <<Sergeant>>, symbolized by three flattened yellow V’s on top of each other. Another seven kills have come and gone, but the worry of erring on my part never ceases to exit my brain. Dying seems like the end of everything to me, despite having the knowledge that a respawn will automatically resurrect my chassis to another location. Thinking so, my only thoughts are of the next enemy—what weapon he will bear, what supplies he will have activated, and most importantly, the amount of energy he has left. I swiftly stalk around a corner, and the house from where my <<toy>> was found appears before me. No longer is the door opened, no longer is there a secret, omnipotent weapon inside. Feeling uneasy, I decide to return to my garage, in the hope of finding a more challenging battle. The hallway outside of my private room is long and wide, lined with an infinite amount of doors stretching on for kilometers. Above each door lies a small, digital screen. Each has two rows of text in green, glowing font. The topmost lists the name of the field in which the battle takes place. Some others refer to the battlefields as <cards>>, for reasons I do not know. The lower line displays the name of the battle that its creator had selected for it, and the number of players currently warring. I decide to venture out into other fields of battle, selecting a field called <<Wolfenstain>>. The customized name is a pattern of two repeating characters <<WWII>>, and the number of players is a decent size of fifteen. Without giving it much thought, I drive through the doorway. I spawn in what appears to be a long tunnel. I check for enemies around the corners, and find myself to be alone. Annoyed, I drive forward, cautiously rounding every corner in anticipation of hostiles. After another turn, an upward-leading ramp appears before me. I slowly drive up. I emerge in a yet another hallway with a new ramp at the end of it. Annoyed by the redundancy, I go up the ramp, and find myself underneath a bridge. There, lying atop the bridge, lies a tank of enormous proportions. It has a massive chassis with a long, menacing turret with red power cells glowing all over the length of the barrel. The paint job, it is a beautiful combination of red and yellow flames. I look over to the opposite side of the map, where a medium-sized tank speeds along an alleyway between two houses. The tank above me releases a dark red spark of energy that instantaneously hits and destroys the fleeing tank, sending it soaring many meters into the air. After observing the mammoth of a tank for some time, I discover that it can not shoot high-energy shots while it is moving. I add the conclusion to my mental database, and wait for the guy to be destroyed by another tank of the same turret. This weapon is impressive, but I would choose my Smoky XT over it any day. No other tanks present within viewing range, I head towards the elevated central building of the map. I climb a steep slope and reach a small, top area with very little obstacles. “A great sniping spot,” I happily think to myself. Examining my surroundings, I find that I can see virtually everywhere on the battlefield, so no enemies will be able to sneak up on me. As I turn back to the ramp which I had just climbed, I see a multitude of tanks waiting around on the ramp. Without a moment’s thought, I race for cover in my new <<room>>, and wait for the assault to begin. Five seconds, ten seconds—nothing is happening! I peer around the corner, and see that they are just waiting there. The swarm of various tanks seems to be waiting for something. Curious of their desire to fight, I lean forward, and give the closest enemy a quick two shots of my weapon. He hurriedly pushes away some other tanks behind him, and situates himself under my range of fire, but still on the ramp. “That’s strange,” I pondered within myself. “What could they possibly be waiting for? Supplies falls all over this map!” I see a sparkle in the sky. The crowd begins to get more fidgety. As the object nears, I begin to hear the sounds of battle beneath me. As the object gets closer, I can make out the typical, cubic shape of a supplies box. But this one is different. It is—golden! A golden box that proudly displays the number <<100>>, with a blue crystal above it. Being overcome by an instinctive drive, I begin to shoot down the peons beneath me. One by one, they cry out with agony as their corpses are exploded to pieces. As the glittering box reaches the ground, I quickly collect it. The feeling of the golden box feels as if it is radiating an amazing feeling of joy. Alas, my moment of ecstasy is ended when I see a few <<mammoths>> with full supplies come my way. I decide it would be in my best interests to leave. But making a decision is a far different thing from committing to a course of action. I do not find myself being wisked away by the teleporter that has always carried me home before. I am stuck, with an army of behemoths rushing straight towards me. One begins to charge his weapon. An orange sphere of light appears on the tip of his barrel…

Tankmen! For those of you who claim to know every map: Here is a challenge for your memory! Here are three pictures gathered from three different maps in the game. Name each one in a PM to me (Tommy60). The prize for this edition is 700 crystals for all three maps! (Only the first 3 correct applicants will receive prizes. Collaboration among players is not encouraged.) NOTE: The contest judge is not obligated to respond to every entry. He will only give the winners their reward by the time the following issue is published.

You won't. The actual Smoky XT gun was released for one week, over one year ago. It will most probably never come back to the garage.

Care to elaborate on that? I can't improve the next edition's content unless I know what readers don't like about this one.

Sorry about the size this issue; I was loaded with tests and exams for the past month. Next issue will have more quantity to it. :)