Other [Issue 73] The Dictator: Tanki's Finest News Source - March '18

[Yisroel.Rabin 16,224]

 

Greetings, readers! Here at the Tanki Online Newspaper, we are passionate about providing you with information on all the latest updates, turrets, hulls, maps, contests or just about anything related to the community or game; and you can trust us to cover it all.

 

 

A new turret and hull appears; tankers distressed
By @Hexed

 

If the War wasn't enough already, Tanki Online decided to stress it's player-base even more by adding in - not one, but two entirely new items in the game: a turret and a hull. Currently named as 'Terminator' and 'Juggernaut', which by the way, if you haven't guessed already, is available to only two people in the game, @Hazel-Rah and @Impulse.

 

 

 

                

 

 

 

What's more surprising is the fact that the turret, a.k.a Terminator, is actually a dual-barreled Railgun, which by some means can also fire a volley of six rockets towards a person in quicker succession than Striker. Even the reload times for Railgun are so low, resembling that of a Thunder. Juggernaut, the hull, on the other hand has a massive amount of armor-plating on its sides and sports around three thousand hitpoints, but what's even more mind-bending than the turret is that it can drive even faster (or close to) than a Wasp.

 

Do you have any idea what's going on? Are the developers really looking forward to add a new turret or hull in the game, and are just testing it in the game like how they did with Striker? Where could the turret be available for purchase, in the Shop or the Garage? Or could it just be that the developers and game designers were bored and wanted another YouTube publicity stunt designed to get attention and views? Speak for yourself!

 

 

Semyon rises from the dead; EN community in terror
By @Yisroel.Rabin

 

A couple of weeks back marked an unusual reporting by a group of mid-teenagers. They reported that they'd found scary graffiti on the wall, reading 'Beware The Rise Of Semyon!'. The authorities took it as nothing more than a joke, but were later proved wrong.

 

Last Tuesday, the graveyard called Chotripitu Cemetary, in Perm, Russia, was the centre of attention when a grave stone labeled 'Semyon Kirov' went missing. The next night, Semyon was spotted in a local variety store, buying a switch blade knife. When police arrived at the store, the cashier was missing, along with all traces of Semyon.

 

Ever since then, random appearances of the former EN community manager have been reported all around the globe. He's been pinned with a prize of ten million crystals for the person who catches and delivers him to the authorities.

 

If seen, call 1-800-GOT-SEMY.

 

 

Sergei and Kasim place bets on War; mystery of falling K/D solved
By @Flexoo

 

The highly anticipated War is in the full swing. The temptation of containers has absorbed the whole communities and everyone is fully concerned about strategies and best ways to reach the victory. As we recently learned from one of our Perm contacts, this game of Chess where every single move decides if you will fall deep in the abyss of losers or stand your ground to see the rays of victory fully consumed even two community representatives, namely Kasim, the Russian CM, and Sergei, our own community manager.

 

As the contact mentioned, these two started chatting about the possible War outcomes but when the theme shifted to best community that will win, the two quickly transcended from friendly teasing to all-out war of words that ended in a bet. The stakes were really high. Both guys bet one year of their wage on success of their respective community. When Sergei finally realized how much he actually put at stake, he decided to help his community win. Should he try to mult the enemy team or should he rather try to provide a decent K/D ration for his faction. He is indeed a community representative and so he chose to do the right thing, follow the rules and provide enough kills to win this War.

 

Although being seriously occupied with his work, he managed to make 200 kills on first day. However, the second day did not go as well as he planned. Equipped with his trusty Isida/Viking M0, Sergei seriously wanted to rock the world of all the other faction players. But as it happens, things don't go as we often plan and so was the case with Sergei. His K/D was so awfully bad it triggered the system to malfunction, at one point the K/D simply showed # ERROR 000 - impossible to calculate. Just few minutes afterwards, development team send a really harsh e-mail to Sergei with warning that if he continues to participate in War in any way, his account will simply be blocked. As an official reason, developers mentioned that they simply don't have resources to deal with such multing, erhm type of gaming style. Kasim went even step further and sent Sergei a DM saying: "Hah, get rekt!"

 

It seems that Sergei had to leave things in hands of the regular players and now he's just praying EN faction will make it to the successful end. If not, it's very possible that Sergei will have to wear one same T-Shirt for the whole year like Semyon used to.

 

 

The Dictator faces inevitable closure, speaks The Director
By @Hexed

 

*woop woop* that's the sound of the police *woop woop*

No it's not, you're reading it right now. FAKE NEWS!

 

 

The desperation is real
By @Flexoo

 

What a bummer! It's a shame, but Yis asked me with immeasurable sadness in his pink eyes to deliver this message for him. After countless months of Dictator, he's running low on gossip. If you can, please shoot him a PM with your ideas. In return, he promises you the cheapest in-game gift he can buy and Tanki postcard with his autograph.

 

Please do not ignore this lucrative offer.

 

 

If you want to read more from The Dictator, here are the news reports from previous months!

 

The Dictator Issues

- July 2014
- August 2014
- September 2014
- October 2014
- November 2014
- January 2015
- February 2015
- March 2015
- August 2015
- December 2015

- January 2016
- February 2017
- March 2017
- April 2017
- May 2017
- June 2017

- July 2017

- September 2017

- October 2017

- November 2017

- December 2017

- January 2018

- February 2018

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Dictator Specials

- The Dictator Special | Origins of Nives

 

[Best_of_thunder_2015 1,354]

Seymon thing was bit funny. Enjoyed a lot. 

[Musa 5,352]

This tanker also have Juggernaut

 

http://ratings.tankionline.com/en/user/welemir/

[Magenta 5,165]

You all are serious about the last bit?

Edited March 2, 2018 by Magenta

[Flexoo 6,980]

Words "serious" and "Dictator" definitely don't go well together. :lol:

[lukey0 27,543]

Well, that was cool, but short. :P

[Magenta 5,165]

Words "serious" and "Dictator" definitely don't go well together. :lol:

Give a straight answer pls kthnx.

[GrandExecutioner 1,403]

Words "serious" and "Dictator" definitely don't go well together. :lol:

:P If the last bit wasn't serious how do you explain this...

 

Well, that was cool, but short. :P

Edited March 3, 2018 by GrandExecutioner

[Flexoo 6,980]

Yis, come to the rescue and explain what you meant pls :ph34r:

[Viking4s 10,791]

This tanker also have Juggernaut

http://ratings.tankionline.com/en/user/welemir/

Probably an account of another lucky tester.

Once the new mode is launched everybody that will play once the Juggernaut will have this stats on his profile too.

Edited March 4, 2018 by Viking4s

[Yisroel.Rabin 16,224]

You all are serious about the last bit?

I was out of ideas before I was born. :x

 

"Serious" answer below.

 

Yis, come to the rescue and explain what you meant pls :ph34r:

Yis is busy,

School is tough,

He's become dizzy,

The workload is rough.

 

But The Dictator will strive,

when school dies,

it'll be fun,

please,

no run. :c

 

*bow*

 

[mydoom.exe 5,154]

i want dont care about the in-game gift, i just want the autograph because im your #1 fan with drool leaking out of my mouth 24/7

 

 

 

 

 

but i have barely any original ideas that can be put into ~200 words or less what do pls help

[gokuMI6 1,290]

 

 

I was out of ideas before I was born. :x

 

"Serious" answer below.

 

Yis is busy,
School is tough,

He's become dizzy,

The workload is rough.

 

But The Dictator will strive,

when school dies,

it'll be fun,

please,

no run. :c

 

*bow*

 

 

 

What you have a LIFE ? :o

I always thought you were w spy working with SEMYON :ph34r:

Edited March 4, 2018 by gokuMI6

[LUCIFER1_the_dark 1,230]

Was the Kasim and the bet thing real? :P

[marc.jp_44 20,837]

Was the Kasim and the bet thing real? :P

Words "serious" and "Dictator" definitely don't go well together. :lol:

The words "real" and "Dictator" don't go too well together, either. xD

[LUCIFER1_the_dark 1,230]

The words "real" and "Dictator" don't go too well together, either. xD

[francisisking 26]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WK2Q9EJErUo#t=01m58s

[LOLKILLERTOTHEDEATH 1,921]

Never thought Flexoo could be so funny, especially that incomprehensibly bad kd of Mr. Nives'.