MUing done for today, spent just over 300k in total ^_^

If this were fake, Dark would not have permitted this topic to remain here for a second time. Therefore, I assume this is a real promotion; I'm going to check it out myself now, to see if it works.

Do you think you can write a spoof piece, something which uses satire and sarcasm to make readers laugh? If so, you're in the right place! The team at The Dictator (Tanki's Finest News Source, I'll have you know) is looking for talented and budding columnists to contribute towards its aim of total domination of the Press section. All you have to do is the following: - Write a short 'news' piece which should NOT be serious at all - use satire if you can, try to make it humorous! Make sure you use a good headline! You can base it around a real event or make it up completely - it's up to you! - A good length would be anywhere between 150 and 300 words, around 200 might be best - your entry can be longer or shorter if you feel that'd be more effective, though that could mark your entry down. -Please note that if you post yours soon after the release of this issue, you may get "extra points" for originality, since using other people's ideas will severely decrease your likeliness of winning. So get writing! Check these previous articles in the series for examples: [issue 25] The Dictator - Tanki's Finest News Source [issue 26] The Dictator: Tanki's Finest News Source - August [issue 27] The Dictator: Tanki's Finest News Source - September Here's just one example, taken from the first topic: Well, that should provide more than enough info for you to get going. But what are the prizes, you ask? Well, you might find them more interesting than normal... 1st Place: - 30,000 crystals - Your entry will be published in 'The Dictator' AND - You will be asked if you wish to become a 'columnist' for the 'The Dictator' series, where you may write a similar short piece each issue for a 5,000 crystal monthly salary, which will be published in 'The Dictator'. In other words, we'll offer you a contract! 2nd Place: - 20,000 crystals - Your entry will be published in 'The Dictator'. 3rd Place: - 10,000 crystals - Your entry will be published in 'The Dictator'. Runners up will receive 5,000 crystals each. The deadline for entries is the end of October 22nd. Good luck!

<-- Just noticed le commentator avatar has arrived. It's a nice avatar, as far as avatars go ^_^

Thanks for alerting me guys, the request for prizes was sent off a long time ago but clearly something's gone wrong - I'll look into it.

Cloaky big pro. Well written as usual, micah - good job! ;)

Free MU speed-ups on September 1st... O.o

GoldRock is not really care! I never get the point of these topics - just tell your friends if you're taking a break...

Hmm...

Then your feelings get hurt pretty easily, lol... Not at the moment, though it was pretty great - I'll consider re-launching it, maybe.

I've added you k.

I'd turn it on, check the Contacts, and call someone who the owner obviously knows quite well - then they can tell the owner where to collect it from. I say that because I was actually in this situation a few years ago... And who knows, the owner might offer you some money for finding their phone (which is what happened with me, though I didn't take it).

Why not post your own Skype so we can all just add you if we wish to join?

pls can i join i'm famous

^Thanks, I guess xD You're welcome.

I would say Wasp for Firebird, and Hornet/Hunter for Freeze. Freeze goes very well on Hornet, hence the high score. It has such a high rating because I factored in things such as the fact that it has its own popular un-official battlemode. I can't think of any other combination which has such a popular battlemode dedicated to just that combo, so...

Just to focus on your question with the 'unwritten rule', players sometimes don't kill each other when... - They have the same weapon. Often, when I join a DM with Twins, the other Twins players and myself tend to leave each other alone. No point takin on someone who has the same advantage as you do (in this case, unlimited reload). - They're drugging. Personally, when I'm drugging I avoid taking on other druggers (unless they've destroyed me earlier in the match because we're competing for first place, then the pact is broken). After all, two druggers against each other is a waste of drugs - again, it cancels out the advantage given. I've often been in DMs where druggers have a mutual agreement not to attack each other, and I personally just find it irritating if someone breaks this mutual agreement. - They're friends. On many occasions, I enter a DM with a few of my friends, or friends join after I enter a DM. In those cases, I often take a 'stronger together' attitude, and we avoid destroying each other to have a better chance of performing well against the other tankers. The only time where I break this point is where I'm drugging and my friends aren't; then I want to get my money's worth (all of my drugs are from Daily Bonuses, but that's not the point) xD Hope that helped!

Welcome, readers! Many times in the past, the newspaper has focused on the weapons which make our game so dynamic and versatile. But what about the other half to these weapons? Yes, hulls - without the right hull, many weapons can be rendered useless. But if you can find that right combination, regardless of whether it's extremely popular or hardly seen, you can be sure to dominate all of your battles. So, here's the second in the series; I'll be taking a look at Hunter. and how it's all-rounded nature can prove useful with a wide variety of different weapons. Hunter/Smoky. Very effective in a variety of situations. Well, this combination certainly shouldn't be overlooked. Hunter's stability and health provide a good base for Smoky's rapid fire and recoil, with a good speed meaning that this is an especially effective midfield/offensive combination. Those critical hits can definitely come in handy, too, if you're looking to achieve a high rate of damage. Also, the fact that Smoky has a decent range means that Hunter's slightly slower speed relative to the other hulls isn't really too much of a downside. Overall, this seems like a strong combination, with no major disadvantages and with quite a few advantages which make this combination worthwhile. Overall effectiveness: 8/10 Hunter/Firebird. This has the potential to be extremely dangerous. There's a reason why this combination has its own highly-expensive and prized kit in-game. It's versatile, fairly quick but able to withstand more shots than its lighter-hull counterparts. Not to mention that Firebird has a very high damage. Mounting such a weapon on a hull which has a good amount of health for charging into the fray, yet is still quick enough to keep up with light hulls and to out-manouevre medium and heavier hulls, could be powerful if used well. And this would become especially deadly if used with supplies where possible. Regardless, this combination can be a destructive weapon for buyers and non-buyers alike. Overall effectiveness: 8/10 Hunter/Twins. Not bad at all, though this could do with a little more health. Obviously, this weapon would be more suited to Hunter than the lighter hulls, in the eyes of most, due to its increased health. However, Hunter is still relatively quick, so this could be an effective offensive combination. But I'd argue that if you're going to use a weapon with an 'infinite reload' capability, you'd really want to take advantage of that by charging into the centre of a battle situation with a more substantial hull. Regardless, I guess this has the potential to be used to some effect (such as in Pro battles) - I just doubt whether this combination is a particularly balanced one, hence the score given below. Overall effectiveness: 7/10 Hunter/Railgun. A strong combination in any position on the battlefield. Well, I'd argue that this trule is a pretty all-rounded combination. We've seen this combination used to lead assaults, to take up midfield positions AND to head a defence in recent top-series clan wars - the fact that it can work well in many positions can't be ignored. However, I'd argue that this same advantage is also a disadvantage. In a way, it means that this combination is a 'jack of all trades but king of none'; basically, I could think of other combinations which might be better suited to certain positions in almost all circumstances. However, the fact that this combination is so fluid is great - especially when used with a protective paint, to increase it's ability to absorb certain shots. Overall effectiveness: 7.5/10 Hunter/Isida. That extra health can help, but this does lack in crucial speed. In my view, Isida requires speed, mainly due to the fact that it's the got the shortest range in the game. And whilst the hull has a fair amount of speed, it's not quite as fast as Wasp or Hornet - which would mean you'd have to significantly alter your playing style. Therefore, this combination might not be as effective for charging down opponents, but it would be decent for reaching your allies and healing them, due to it's extra health. Therefore, this combination has it's upsides - that said, it's not that balanced, as you wouldn't be able to play too offensively with Hunter/Isida (except when using supplies). Nonetheless, it's still a decent choice, and it wouldn't be bad if used to take up a supporting role. Overall effectiveness: 6.5/10 Hunter/Thunder. A solid combination, with the added bonus of looking pretty great. I first saw this combination in a clan training, just after the rebalance - and it was the first of a few 'new' combinations that impressed me in terms of its appearance. From that moment on, that's what I was aiming towards - and at Captain, I bought both Hunter and Thunder M2, and used the combination for quite some time before moving on. Actually, it wasn't just its looks - the clan training showed that the player who possessed this combo (with both parts at M3, by the way) really could swing the battle through his actions. And yes, this is probably the best hull on which to mount Thunder if you're looking to play in a more offensive role, whilst still being able to defend if needed. I guess Hunter does lack some health, which means that Thunder can be more effective on heavier hulls, especially with its splash damage which allows it to deal with multiple opponents at once. Even so, this is still an effective choice. Overall effectiveness: 7.5/10 Hunter/Freeze. A good choice, which can definitely prove worthy. The fact that this combination possesses both health and speed does mean that it's quite versatile. The weapon itself can be used in both offensive and defensive roles, especially due to its freezing ability - so to allow a user to play both offensively and defensively is an interesting option. However, it does suffer in that it's not quite as quick an attacker as a Wasp might be, nor is it as formidable to overcome in defence as the traditional Freeze/Mammoth powerhouse has been in the past. Despite this, the speed of Hunter allows for taking advantage of Freeze's ability as the hull is quick enough to circle opponents, whilst being able to survive a fair few shots when holding off an assault. That leads me to conclude that this combination is a fairly balanced one. Overall effectiveness: 7.5/10 Hunter/Ricochet. Well balanced, this proves to be a really excellent combination. Now here's a deadly combination. I myself have experienced this, having been unfortunate enough to attempt to deal with a Hunter/Rico M3 with my Viking/Twins M2 combo in a Silence CTF. And that certainly wasn't a fun experience. Hunter provides the perfect base for a weapon like Rico - its projectiles take some time to reach opponents whilst rebounding off walls and other props, so a lot of using Rico is about thinking ahead a few seconds. Whilst I myself have not mastered that at all, I can see why it works so well with Hunter; because the speed of Hunter allows for aggressive action, whilst having a good amount of health for withstanding shots. Rico's projectiles also deal a decent amount of individual damage whilst having a limited reload, so charging into a battle isn't the best way to use it anyway. In my opinion, this is a very strong midfield combination, which really can be effective if you ever meet it on the battlefield. Overall effectiveness: 8.5/10 Hunter/Shaft. A good balance of speed, stability and health. Actually, this combination is a fairly good one. It can be used to reach camping spots and to move around a map to different positions fairly quickly, whilst being stable enough to handle Shaft's own high recoil, and sturdy enough to fend well against fellow campers and snipers. If you want to use Shaft in an offensive way (i.e. to move up a map into an enemy base whilst stopping to pick off opponents), then this would be a great choice - however, Shaft isn't often used in that way, and it's probably because it's quite vulenrable if it gets too close to an opponent, especially if it's on a hull with lower health. Therefore, it's possible that Shaft could work better with more health; but this combination isn't bad at all, and has its merits. Overall effectiveness: 7/10 Overall rankings: Hunter/Firebird - 8/10 Hunter/Isida - 7/10 Hunter/Freeze - 8/10 Hunter/Twins - 6.5/10 Hunter/Ricochet - 8.5/10 Hunter/Smoky - 8/10 Hunter/Thunder - 7.5/10 Hunter/Railgun - 7.5/10 Hunter/Shaft - 7/10 So there you have it - my educated opinions on each of the combinations involving Hunter, from the perspective of the hull itself. There's a reason why Hunter is the default hull in the Garage; it certainly does possess a great balance of different factors. Next up will be the mighty Viking, so make sure you look out for that article. Thanks for reading! Feel free to let me know your feedback below, or to share your own thoughts - it's all appreciated! See you in the battle!

Greetings, readers! Here at the Tanki Online newspaper, we are passionate about providing you with information on all the latest updates, turrets, hulls, maps, contests... anything related to the community or game, and you can trust us to cover it all. But what about all the stuff which happened this month which you may not know about? Well, here's a summary of this month's more exciting events, which may or may not have actually happened. But that's a different matter altogether. Enjoy! And this time, I'd like to welcome Mr. Hog to the (previously one-man) team of 'The Dictator'! Let's hope his pieces are as good as mine :P Hog: Do feel free to say who's the best. *wink wink* Investigation confirms that double funds are "twice as good when they last twice as long". By @GoldRock Some of Tanki's leading experts have congregated recently to discuss this pressing issue, and it seems they have reached a conclusion. As one spokesperson for the group, Prof. ShadeWarTee, stated: "Double funds are twice as good when they last for twice as long. In this case, they lasted for 48 hours instead of just 24, which meant that players had two days instead of one on which to take advantage of these increased funds. Therefore, after employing the services of top mathematiciaians to analyse the meaning of 'twice', and after debating the philosophical significance of words such as 'good', we finally came to the conclusion that double funds are twice as good when they last twice as long." This suspicion, which started when Mr. Simone Keerove pointed out that the development was offering "double the usual promotion" when double battle funds for 48 hours took place, has finally been confirmed. In the process, huge intellectual leaps forward such as determining what the 'usual promotion' is ("24-hour double battle funds", explained a wise 99-year-old Prof. Flea), and discovering that 'double' means pretty much the same thing as 'twice'. As one observer put it: "I have not yet lost hope in the Tanki playerbase. We will no doubt continue to strive forward, and to further our pursuit of knowledge." The development is expected to release a statement praising the initiative shown by the team of experts who reached this conclusion, and who clearly deserve the widespread critical acclaim that they have subsequently received. Wild rumours spread after the yearly August weddings and celebrations 'take off like a Wasp Firework Display'. By @hogree It would be fair to say that things do generally tend to go a bit over-the-top during the month of August. After all, as the summer holidays close out, there seems good reason to take things to that extra level before sanity has to kick in again. But, although players normally do lose their nuggets slightly during August, this year took everything to a whole different level. Proof of this was all too evident when the impromptu wedding of Phoenix-Warbird and JJ410, organised by their ever-loving friends, broke out into riot after the groom refused to turn up. Although we could not get to speak with JJ due to his speech at the beginning of August "As a moderator, I prefer not to associate with the plebs", his agent was heard to state that he was busy eating pancakes and did not want to be disturbed by menial matters such as weddings. His appointment as moderator has raised a few eyebrows among many of the community members although the majority of the reactions were quite simple ok. All in all, the wedding riots did very small levels of damage although rumours that the fireworks display was scared away to Jupiter by Firingsniper's face did appear in news reports after. Weddings weren't the only events to spark rumours like wildfire during the month. A number of Indian tankers met up to celebrate the Indian Independence Day in quite an innocent way - creating the Indian National Flag with their tanks on Stadium. Although those involved claim that was all that their meeting was for, rumours flew around that they were planning a rebellion against the Russians and theories arose that the Orange, Green and White Colours on their flag symbolled their means of attack - Fire, Tear Gas and... Milk? All the same, some Russians were heard to have taken the rumours seriously, and gossip went viral, one particular source suggesting that during that same night Putin was contacted about the issue, invaded India, and retreated out all in the space of 6 hours. This is yet to be confirmed. Officials detail the possible introduction of 'speeding tickets' as free MU speed-ups make their debut. By @GoldRock Recently, there have been reports that players 'sped up' too much on September 1st. Apparently, the moderation department have been unhappy with the connotations of this latest discount. These connotations are alleged to have included the fact that the word 'free' implies that players didn't have to pay for their actions, and that 'speeding' was encouraged throughout the day of the discount. As a result, widespread discussion has been provoked. The FBI later released an official statement to expand on this: "If players are going to continue to speed up, like we saw a few days ago, then there needs to be some sort of order. We must retain control over the situation, and punish all perpetrators accordingly. This includes through the introduction of 'speeding tickets', if we deem this action necessary." Apparently, these 'speeding tickets' would consist of 27-year-long bans if the MU speed-up function is used, which would only be removed for a fee paid directly into an account called "Don'tCallMeFBI". Understandably, this suggestion has been met with strong disagreement from players. The development later released a statement, outlining their stance on the matter: "Whilst we care about the safety and security of our playerbase, we'd rather such a feature is still available to use for our dedicated sources of reve.. erm, we mean, the players. Henceforth, we will be setting a Tanki speed limit of infinity, meaning that no player will be forced to commit any illegal action." Rumours that a few well-versed Reporters coincidentally accepted payments from aspiring speed-hackers in return for 'law services' just after this statement was made are currently unconfirmed. Enemies outside the battlefield? Rumours circulate of invader tanks penetrating the desert mist of Iran... By @hogree Iran has always been one of the most popular maps in Tanki and reports claim that players aren't the only tanks who are attracted to it. Some players claim to have spotted "faint silhouettes lurking in the mist" over the last month, with one nervous young witness stuttering out, "it raced to the edge of the-the map and it was so fast and I couldn't move and i was so so so scared, oh great semyon, i am never ever ever going b-ack, no neveer, its dangerous.." Many others affirmed his claims, but in slightly more macho ways including Tsdd200, the spokesman of the new clan Knock Out who claimed "We saw one and we knocked it out mate. It ain't rocket science." All the same, developers are worried at these claims. Suspicions that World of Tanks may be threatening an invasion into the Tanki playerbase are rising, with some even claiming the "big fast ok" speed of the invaders could threaten to resurrect the speed-hacking crisis of 2012. The developers and staff have made known their keenness to avoid this danger, with one admin speaking directly to 'The Dictator' and stating that "the invaders stand no chance against our 178 nuclear bombs." Minor worries of Iran surviving the bomb attacks and the effect of the nuclear fall-out have been played down with the admin keen to assert "the bombs aren't actually nuclear, they're just called nuclear because that's a nice name. And they don't really explode because that would be dangerous, they're actually bubbles so we can make sure we don't damage our beautiful map." Most players were relieved at the news that the invaders would be taken out in a safe way, although on an online poll, 0.01% of players answered "doubtful" of the ability of bubbles to take out invading tanks. EDIT: Recent rumours have just broken out around the community that the developers claim their next action will take place when Bluelight1209 reaches 16,000 posts. Evacuation of Iran has already begun. An in-depth review of "The Art of Writing" - what Lord Harel kept secret. By @GoldRock A topical newspaper article, informing players of how to write, has just been released in this issue. However, at exactly the same time, a player going by the mysterious username of "IAmNotGoldRockInDisguise" decided to send in an open letter of feedback to us here at 'The Dictator' about that very same article. And after reading it, I decided it would be only fair to publish what this eloquent yet humble stranger has written. So, here goes: Tempers rise and physical warfare 'looms on the horizon' in what experts believe could be the biggest civil war since Tanki's launch. By @hogree World War One was big. World War Two was bigger. "So what?" reports claim. "This is the biggest." The so-called "XP Revolution", played down for so long, has finally been sparked into life, with Magazine "Server 1 Banter" claiming that the revolution will be "MAHUSIVE". With the XP mode growing and growing on the first server of Tanki, the Rebels finally claim they have reached Domination in the entirety of the server. 1500 Rebels, all equipped with Railgun-Hornets, have grouped together in Courage, a figure so large it almost exceeds the amount of pictures Jokersus Cava has uploaded on Real Photo. Preparations have already begun for a large-scale attack on all the XP Sabotagers ever to grace the battlefield, which experts suggest could damage the use of Prodigi for over 5 years. Experts investigating the crisis have summed up the situation as "bemusing and yet horrific" as a number of extreme rebels, now known as the "big-rebels", have decided to go further than XP Sabotagers and now believe that all other weapons apart from Railgun should be exterminated. To encourage the cause, all the participants of the ongoing "Solo XP Elite" tournament were rumoured to have put all weapons except Railgun in their own garage burnt on the mound in the centre of Courage. Apparently, some sacrificed more than others, with Aklism's full M3-Garage's burning causing large amounts of laug... erm sulphur dioxide to enter the air. On the other hand, @domxxe65 was heard to have 'recruited' some equipment from friends as his addition to the pile was understandably small.. President of the "Keep all Weapons" Committee, Lhamster, has talked to us personally at The Dictator and spoke of his opinion on the situation. "As long as they don't touch my garage, I'm cool." he said. "I just spent 1,000,000 crystals on my M3 Titan's MU's mate, I'm not letting them take nothing from that. That was nearly a month's worth of saving!" When asked on public news reporting what action his commitee was planning to take against these "big-rebels", however, he merely smirked. "I've got a plan. Involves taking over the world." Rumours since the publication of the latter interview are that all the big-rebels have, under personal decision, exited the world. We were unable to receive a response from Lhamster. Update: Breaking News just come through and we have just heard that Ajaytonymathew2 has been announced as the rebel's official leader. All XP Sabotagers are advised to buy hair-clippers as rumours claim he is powerless without his afro.

The ratings given is how well a particular weapon goes with Hornet. If a particular turret goes better with another hull, then it isn't inherently made for use with Hornet. The rating system is based on how close a 'match' the weapon is with the hull. Therefore, both aspects matter, since I'm also trying to offer a relative comparison with other hulls throughout this series. So, the ratings indicate both how well a particular weapon goes with Hornet, and how well the weapon performs on that hull relative to being used with other hulls. After all, the title is "What to mount on: Hornet" - it would be sensible to consider both aspects when deciding this. It seems some readers' favourite Hornet/weapon combination weren't given a glowing review; should I have given high marks to all the mainstream Hornet/weapon combinations? The answer, to me, is decidedly not - a combination being popular or a combination being your favourite doesn't suddenly make it the most effective combination on the battlefield. When the developers were designing the game, did they think Thunder, Rico, Isida etc. would work best on Hornet? All combinations can be used effectively, I'm just rating how effective they are in theory.

Read the first part of this series here: The Insurgence: Massacre. Recap (the ending section of the previous part): ______________________________ I turn, looking back on what we've left behind. The slope is merely a pinprick on the horizon. We've been travelling for a few days now, resting under whatever shelter we could find - or if we couldn't, out in the open. It's dangerous, my companion tells me; they sometimes send patrols out beyond Massacre. "But you shouldn't worry," he chuckled, "I've not yet seen a tank which I can't destroy!" And his combination, which he claims is a "third-generation Thunder/Mammoth", certainly does look formidable. We reach a ridge; that provokes a groan from my companion. His gears grind as begins to trundle up the steep incline. I don't seem to have as much trouble as him, despite his explanation that I'm using a 'non-upgraded' combination at the moment. I reach the edge of the ridge whilst he's still got some way to go, keeping an eye out for hostile patrols. We haven't met any so far, but I'm told it wouldn't be a fun experience for a Recruit if we did. "If your combination is so powerful," I call down to him, "why don't you just try and destroy them in Massacre?" He climbs up beside me, having finally managed to push his bulky hull to the top of the ridge. "Even I wouldn't try going into Massacre," he chuckles, "at least, not alone..." Laughing at the confused expression on my face, he points to what lies ahead. "Welcome to our camp - it might not look like much, but you'll have to call it home for at least the next few months." The 'camp' looks like the result of a lot of hard work, but without an intelligent architect at its helm. Buildings of varying shapes and sizes are sprawled across the scene - there must be at least a hundred of them, stretched out over a mile or so - with a dense collection of larger constructions at the centre. These ones look more modern, but many of the buildings are contructed from wood, fairly small and primitive, which instantly strikes me as a bad idea. A sudden burst of gunfire breaks the silence; I jump, but it seems to have come from amongst a cluster of buildings at the other side of the camp. The gunfire continues. "Enjoy your stay!" he says with a smile, as we navigate down the other side of the ridge. I can't tell whether he's being sarcastic or not. ______________________________ As we make our way towards the centre of the camp, I spot various tanks wandering around. I don't recognise many of them, though I spot one using a hull which looks like mine except slightly larger and with more armour plating, and I see another Thunder user keeping lookout on the outskirts of the camp alongside some tanks with longer-barrelled weapons. In comparison with the size of the camp, there doesn't seem to be that many inhabitants. A fairly significant proportion of the buildings appear to be unoccupied, and I peer into one of them as we pass. I catch a glimpse of beams of sunlight streaming through gunshot holes in the wall before we continue on. "Is this camp... safe?" I ask, slightly nervous. "Oh yes, of course," my companion replies, "though occasionally one of their patrols finds us and attacks the camp. It can be a messy business trying to hold them off." Seeing my more-than-slightly disturbed expression, he hastily adds "but that hasn't happened for months now, fortunately." I notice his expression darken as he turns away. As we reach the camp's centre, I'm able to examine the buildings there in more detail. One of the larger ones appears to be some sort of warehouse - I guess that's where they might keep various equipment - and another, not far off, appears to be completely coated in layer of steel. Bizarrely, I can't see any visible way of entering it. My companion spots what I'm looking at, and leans in. "Apparently, they're working on some sort of fourth generation of equipment", he stage-whispers. He seems to be particularly excited by this revelation, though I'm still wondering how I can upgrade my tank at all. We reach what appears to be the main building; it's not as large as the warehouse, but it's set in stone and has two armed tanks guarding its entrance. "Operational Centre", I read, as we are allowed to enter. ______________________________ We're met by a couple of senior-looking tanks; both are well armoured, and look like they could be the ones running the place. "How's it going, General?" one asks as he looks up to see us entering. With a jolt, I realise they don't run the place - from the sound of things, it's my companion, who's been looking after me for the last few days as we made the arduous journey here, who does. "Not so badly," chuckled the General in response, "but I managed to get hold of another new Recruit. He needs some patching up, take him to the Garage where you can brief him on his initial training." The tank who looked up as we entered now turned to face me, quickly scanning me over and noting the wisps of smoke still coming from the jagged hole pierced through the side of my battered armour. "Come on then," he sighed as he drove past me towards the doorway through which we had just entered, and I turned to follow him. As we made our way further into the camp, it seemed we were getting nearer and nearer to the source of the gunfire which I'd heard before - intermittent bursts still broke the silence. Just as I was on the verge of asking what this was and where we were going, we rounded one of the larger wooden buildings and the answer became obvious. A number of tanks, many of them not dissimilar in appearance to my own, appeared to be taking it in turns to fire at targets set up some distance away, watched by a couple of supervisors. Off to one side was a small arena. I observed the action, fascinated, as a smaller tank weaved its way towards a much larger tank with a long-barrelled weapon, who appeared to be trying to snipe its opponent. But too soon, the distance was covered, and the smaller tank's weapon suddenly erupted with flames, taking mere seconds to burn its bulkier foe into oblivion. I watched, horrified, as a series of explosions marked the end of the duel. "Now that's how you take out an enemy sniper," said my supervisor. I turned to see that he too had stopped to watch the action, and from the sound of it, he was almost as impressed as I was. "Anyway, we haven't got all day. We'll get you patched up, then you'll be next. After all, we have to see what you're made of." he laughed. The gears of his tank ground into action once more, leaving me to contemplate what he'd just said in the dust his tracks left behind.

It's a week or so before the stream. The news has just come in that the streams for an upcoming tournament will require commentators for the growing English community. The times and dates are revealed by Semyon in our Skype group. It's up to us to check our commitments, and to see if there's the possibility of us being available for at least one of the streams. For some of us, that involves checking whether we'll be back from work in time; for others, it involves making arrangements for a couple of hours of uninterrupted commentary. After some discussion, with each of us giving the dates we can and can't attend, the pairings for each stream (as each stream requires two commentators) are decided by our administrator, @SuperNick95. If there's issues with commentators not being able to make certain streams, our Community Manager, , is always willing to step in and help to solve the situation. Fast-forward to the day of the stream itself... ...and by now, the two commentators for the stream have been determined. Mr. Kirov is usually making preparations for the stream with the development team, and he often takes this opportunity to brief the commentators on the rules/format of the upcoming battle. He can also provide some information about the participants (if not, it's our job to familiarise ourselves with them through Starladder clan profiles etc.), and he reminds us about important points for us to explain to the viewers during the stream. In addition, commentators and admins alike usually check the general Guide we use, to make sure the details provided within it are up-to-date. Now most of the advance preparations have been made, we have to sit tight and wait until... 30 minutes before the stream. Both commentators get on Skype. Usually, this time is used to make a variety of last-minute checks, including setting up Teamspeak (the software we use) and making sure the password for the EN commentators section of the Cybersport-based channel is correct, as well as running tests to check our microphones are picking up our voices clearly, and at a good volume. We also often take this opportunity to discuss who will open the stream, what intro we'll use, what sorts of things we'll discuss between rounds, when to explain the various key points, how we might end the stream, and so on. As well as this, each commentator has his own username and password for Tanki Online's exclusive E-Sports server; as this is often used for the major clan tournaments, we have to check we can get into the server. It's a lot like the test server, and it's main purpose is to minimise lag - since there would be very few players on the server, this helps to do so. Also, the developers can make use of some cool extra functions, such as manually resetting the timer of a match whilst keeping the teams of players on the right sides. Not to mention that the E-Sports server gives players access to a very expensive Garage, with anything you could possibly want for playing Light Format during clan wars. The top clan players have earned it, after all! In addition to this, commentators have access to Spectator mode on both the normal servers and the E-Sports server; we usually make sure the controls for this are working properly, and that we can set specific points on the map from which to watch the action, before the stream starts. On that subject... Just before the stream starts. There's a nervous few minutes where we wait for the go ahead. Often, we go over how we're going to start the stream and what we're going to say during different parts of it. Generally, we wait for the signal from the Russian CyberSport team - after all, they're the ones who're going to be fortunate enough to have the lion's share of the viewers. Whilst we're waiting, we often go and get a drink - there have been occasions where my mouth has dried up in the past towards the end of a particularly lengthy stream, a sip of water or whatever's at hand usually does the trick. The link of each round will pop up in the Teamspeak channel chat during the stream; this allows us to use Spectator to view the match from our own perspective in order to commentate, whereas our cameraman (@F.L.A.S.H) is the one who provides the shots for viewers to watch, And once everything's ready, @F.L.A.S.H asks if we're good to go; when we confirm we are, he states a brief "On air." to let us know that we can begin our intro. After the stream. The streams usually last for around one and a half hours in length. So, once we've spoken the concluding words of the stream, we wait for @F.L.A.S.H to let us know that the streams over. Then, we often chat about the stream for a few minutes, discussing how we think it went and what mistakes we might have made. At the same time, players are sharing their initial feedback on Skype, which is useful to us to gain an early indication of how the stream went. Where possible, we have a third commentator moderating the Twitch chat (powers were given by Semyon after the suggestion), and he can also turn up on Teamspeak and offer his own thoughts after the stream. Sometimes, we 'experiment' with different ideas depending on how previous streams went - ranging from considering giving commentators a 'sentence limit' during the more heated action so both get to speak one after the other, to using a 'key phrase' to indicate if one commentator has to take a short break so the other commentator can take over. We appreciate the feedback we receive, since it helps us to come up with ideas like those ones, which could help to make the quality of the streams even better in the future. After all, there's a forum topic for that purpose... And that just about covers everything! Thanks for reading - if you have any further questions about what the commentators do behind-the-scenes to deliver the best service we can to our viewers, or if you just want to find out more, feel free to go ahead and ask!

Then don't... Reporters appreciate the feedback they receive, whether positive or negative. Selena is just as entitled as anyone else to share her opinions on this article.

Thanks for letting me know, I'll make sure that's arranged if possible.