Excellent work, better than my first try. Keep on writing and welcome to the AWS!

Should have proofread this one. Nice formats. Shame on google docs. Good Job. Not necessarily in that order. And Flexoo, five months in france? Was it studying abroad or vacation?

The ending wasn't quite as I expected. But overall, I really liked it. Also, challenge me to write something and I will.

Machines of Flight wishes you the best of luck.

Cool! I never knew that. Looking forward to a vid.

P.R.O

Machines of Flight wishes you the best of luck.

Don't say that you are worse than others. Anyways, you were quite good at your debut and first few stories. Continue to work hard. This message was not sponsored by me; rather, by the horde of people in this classroom as I eat lunch.

#AssumesTooQuickly

Probably after a few sessions he will. It will be soon, especially since we don't have too many people.

Machines of Flight wishes you the best of luck! P.S. Wonder who came up with the club tag first?

Welcome to the AWS! Nice story by the way.

The YWA's full of depressed writers... yet they never let me say anything sad. Wonders why...

Nah it ok Thor. I do evil critiques and I think he's glad you broke my line.

I think I could be featured.... could I?

#MakesAssumptionsTooQuickly

Honestly, I considered that name once, but I didn't like it. Your New Name: puduy

Wonder why this didn't make editorials.

Quite enjoyable, but I would like to hear some more details like in specific not generalizing what happened over a year. Otherwise, nice journey throughout your Tanki career!

Who says?

Feels bad... Poor kid, he has to get all his leaves far far far away from home. Last pick belongs to those like me (at least at church)

I think I agree with Parkour and also Magenta. I'm not saying it's bad, but then you might want to check it more by drafting it on paper or making sure you have an idea down before you start writing. Also, grammar, my expertise subject, is a matter that you might want to work on. You have a decent amount of dialogue, but then you should enter and add another paragraph to make it make more sense. (Cue the descriptive dialogue speech I gave Thor)

Coincidentally, there is a character named Aaren in my story too. Weird...

#Doesn'tKnowAnyone

Hey, great story. So now on to the premium Ms. M critique. (My writing teacher) Her advice to you would be to change your writing style once in a while and try something new. Right now, I'm seeing that you follow my mentor, who has choppy sentences, so I would suggest trying to write in a different style. P.S. Challenge me to do something too. I'm slightly bored.