I was not suggesting that you were one of those tankers.

The man has made an accusation of inequality yet he fails to provide any evidence that it is true. What do you mean, "You're supposed to be the reporter here"? How am I to provide proof of his allegation when a.) it is not true and b.) I don't know where he got the information upon which he based the allegation? Not that he had anything to base it on....

Semyon Kirov, on 10 Sept 2015 - 03:48, said: The evidence provided here leads me to believe that they did not ignore you. The apology should come from the tankers who continued to scream, flame, and troll even after the explanation was given and repeated.

Heh heh heh.... So lets say that Luna did tell me there would be two cherries on the banana split! Then she went to get the two cherries from the jar and, lo and behold, she discovers that there is only one cherry left in the jar! EGADS! Is she an inherently wicked and vile individual because she told me something would happen, but forces beyond her control made it impossible? Is she evil because of something she cannot change? Of course not. Do you honestly think that the person you referred to rubbed his hands together and, with spiteful glee in his voice, said to himself "How can I be an antagonist? I know! I'll lie that the tankers will get 50% off when I know that they will only get 40% off! BWAHAHAHA!" I contend that, if it were possible to do so without torching the economy, the devs would've loved to have surprised you all with a 60% off sale! The people in charge did not lie to you. They intended to give a 50% sale, but the constantly changing economic situation rendered that impossible. I must say I am amazed at how offended some humans, and not just you, can get over a humorous remark with a bit of a lesson hidden inside.

OMIGOSH that would be perfect! Give this man the "Idea of the Year" award!

Prove it. Show me a conversion ratio.

Sorry folks, but it has no part 2. This is the full story... interpret it as you will.

And I said in my article: "At the end of the day, the real compensation that Tanki’s employees receive, from the top developer to the noobiest reporter, is the knowledge that the effort they put in enriches the lives of all who play this game." I'd like to know exactly what makes you think that I get paid lots of crystals for my writing. My payment is knowing I'm improving the game.

As long as the drawing follows the guidelines, it can be considered for a prize.

My responsibility as a writer is, as you said, to instruct tankers, and I wrote this to instruct the seven or eight hundred tankers who not only hated and trolled the Tanker's Day discount but also completely ignored the logic with which the discount was determined. "For one, an extra 10% on one day in a year is not going to make a significant difference in the economy of a game." Of course it wouldn't, if only or two people play this game, but this site peaks at 70,000 players per day, and not everyone who plays Tanki plays at the same time. So you are looking at possibly hundreds of thousands of players who buy things at a discount... that is going to make a significant difference, so much so that the discount had to be set 10% lower. "It is not your duty to write insulting articles. This article looks bad upon the administration and your colleagues, not to mention you." The way I wrote and presented my article is bluntly honest. That is my writing style. And that is my writing style. I wrote this to represent my opinion. If it looks bad (and more have liked it than have disliked it), then it makes me look bad. This article is not intended to be interpreted as representative of the opinion of Tankionline, its employees, or any of its affiliates. They may or may not agree with me. Some already have and some haven't.

Again, only one entry per entrant. You can change your entry, but you are not allowed to submit more than one drawing.

What is Texas?

I know how that feels. My aunt Luna made me a banana split a few days ago, and she only put ONE cherry on top! The nerve of that alicorn! I was expecting TWO cherries! I promptly downvoted her on every alt account I own and followed her around the castle, screaming about how inherently wicked she is.... *sarcastic smirk*

Finally, after the Tanki community has chomped its fingernails to a row of nubs, the premium accounts have been released for sale! Those developers have been working their fingers to nubs, too, finessing the premium product to make it as excellent as we had hoped it would be. When I logged onto my account on the day of the free-trial promotion, I was elated to find that red ribbon gracing my rank symbol. Time to try this thing out! I immediately went into battle and tested all the benefits of being premium. During my free trial, I also noticed room for improvement. Everything could use some improvement, especially greyat’s writing, so I’ll offer up my notes along with the analysis. 1.) The paint. The premium paint, which looks like a really expensive version of the Africa paint, positively dazzled me. I have been wearing my purple Best Helper paint since I received it, but I quickly shed that stuff on seeing this new gold-colored coat. As I compared the two paints, I noticed that the premium paint is not too far off from the Best Helper paint in terms of its protection. Best Helper takes eighteen damage points off of each shot, and Premium takes fifteen off. Premium is the closest thing the average player can have to the Best Helper paint. In game, the paint looks absolutely stunning. I mean, really, the whole downtown was yellin’ out “WHO DAT IS?!” Well, they would’ve been, had they not been wearing the paint themselves, but even so, the paint was beautiful. It also seemed to have no effect on my enemies’ shots. Of course, that may have been due to the fact that I was playing in a Polygon XP/BP with a bunch of generalissimos. Best Helper paint gives a small boost in battles with players using M2s, but the M3 turrets laughed at my paint. So here’s my first suggestion: Give the paint variable protection based on the player’s rank. The premium paint is nice for low-rankers, but the upper rankers have loads of options that are much more protective – and they need it if they are going to sling M3 lead. A graduated system of protective attributes would be a nice modification to the paint. Beyond that, I noticed one other happy fact about the paint: it cured my gold madness. Normally, when a Gold Box is about to drop, I get all flustered and frantic (and usually get the hiccups). The mere sight of gold is enough to drive me over the edge, which is exactly why the paint is so awesome. For Pete’s sake, I’m DRIVING IN A GOLD BOX! 2.) 100% bonus crystals and 50% experience points Non-premiums have probably noticed the little crown next to their battlefund dividends after the update. Well, if they had a premium account, they would see a number instead of that crown. That number would be the bonus crystal amount, which would total up to equal their share of he battlefund dividend. Receive 1000 crystals at the end of a battle and you’ll pocket 1000 bonus crystals as a gift. Those bonus crystals aren’t subtracted from the battlefund either; they are actually generated especially for you. The better you play, the richer you become! Premium accounts also come with a 50% score multiplier pass, which normally cost 5000 crystals. That’s a nice touch, but it leads right into my second suggestion: Bring back the 30% and 50% score multiplier pass. Not quite sure why these were removed. I rarely used score multiplier passes; I think they speed up the game too much, but there honestly was no reason to remove them, especially 30% pass. I mean, it couldn't have been an economical reason, as the passes were one of the best-selling items in the garage. If they were hurting the economy, the prices would've been changed. HOWEVER, the 100% passes were removed for good reason, as our forum friend @BuriedSky very wisely said: "Along with the release of the premium accounts, it was realised that the 100% SMP made people rank up too fast, which was neither intended by the players nor by the system... So as to bring balance, the 100% SMP got removed... If you're a non buyer, you would realize that ts better now...the 100% SMP made you rank up so fast that you did not have any crystals to buy a good garage, and hence move around with M2+ equipment in M4 drug wars..now, it's nothing such..you rank up and earn crystals equally, while at the same time, you have an option to buy the 50% SMP if you still want to rush up with your rankup... " 3.) Ability to purchase XT equipment without needing a Daily Mission. I AM SO PSYCHED about this. I hope and beg that Tanki won’t remove the premium accounts, at least not until I can rank up to Generalissimo and buy those XT items. Up until now, players have needed to work long and hard to get these elusive M3 hulls and turrets, but now, Tanki has made it exponentially easier. Plus, you don’t have to be a Generalissimo in order to get them. You can purchase the XT items as soon as you unlock the traditional M3 counterpart at whatever rank that may be. Power to the low-rankers! 4.) Pro Battle access So you can spend 5000 crystals (about 2.5€) on a pro pass, or you can spend 10€ on a premium account and get the pro pass plus a snazzy paint worth around 15000 crystals (about 8€ without bonus crystals), a 50% score multiplier pass (another 2.5€), a priceless 100% battlefund bonus pass, and access to XT items without needing the impossible-to-find missions. Tally all that up and you’ll find at least a 5€ savings, but it is certainly more than that, since you can’t exactly put a price tag on bigger battlefunds and easy XTs. * * * * * * * * The Premium Account Update is packed with free gifts and discounts, but, as with all updates, its arrival generates a pack of myths, misconceptions, and plain old misinformation. Let me take a moment to knock those out: 1.) THIS UPDATE ONLY HELPS THE BUYERS! Oh, come on, that’s the most ridiculous-. Err, wait. That’s correct. Make it possible to get Premium access without needing to pay real money. This is the only product Tanki offers that cannot be acquired without paying real money. You don’t need money to get crystals: you can just play to get those. You don’t need money to get XT items: you just have to complete a challenging daily mission. So why is a free-to-play game offering a product that you can only get if you dig into your wallet? Don’t look at me, I'm not a community manager. This discrepancy can be remedied by offering a premium account pass in the garage, just like pro passes or score multiplier passes, and sell it for an appropriate amount of crystals. Let’s see... 30 days of premium account access is 10€, and 6000 crystals is about 3€, so an appropriate crystal price for 30 days of the premium account would be about 20,000 crystals. Of course, that total will need to be adjusted for the sake of game balance, but hey, I already did the first step of math for you. Ah, and that leads right into the next myth: 2.) “THIS WILL IMBALANCE THE GAME!” You are incorrectly assuming that A.) enough players will buy the premium account pass to imbalance the game, and B.) every player who buys is good at the game. The first one is obviously not true, and the second one SHOULD be just as obvious. Tanki can give you all the passes and boosters in the world, but if you play as badly as I do in a Smoky duel against the indestructible @Darren4Turbo, none of that is going to help. 3.) “SOME OF US WORKED REALLY HARD TO GET THOSE XT ITEMS, AND NOW TANKI IS JUST GIVING THEM AWAY?!” Puh-leeze. You griped and complained about how hard it was to get and complete the XT missions. You made topics in the off-topic discussion section about how horrible that nasty old Tankionline is because they forced your finger to mash the “Change” button a hundred times and waste hundreds of thousands of crystals in a futile attempt to get the XT missions. But now that Tanki is making it easier to get the missions, you respond by griping and complaining! MAKE UP YOUR FREAKING MIND! 4.) “IT’S TOO EXPENSIVE!” So it’s okay for you to pay 500€ for a gaming console, dozens of games for 50€ apiece, and an untold amount on a monthly online subscription, but NOOOO, 10€ is FAAAAAR too much for a month of what you already buy at a higher price! Maybe you haven’t bought that console, but what do you do when you go into a gaming store? You stand at the counter, nose to the glass, gazing lustfully at that sleek black box of sheer videogaming rapture. You plot and plan and dream of buying it, even though it costs as much as a month’s rent. It’s fine if you don’t want to buy the premium account subscription, but don’t go around flaunting your unsightly double standard. * * * * * * * * The Premium Account Update is yet another way Tanki is making strides to improve the tanker’s experience and make the game less expensive. And while it may have a few less-than-perfect elements that need to be ironed out, it does, above all else, have one fundamental virtue: the new and the low-ranked will be introduced to our game with all the best features and commodities that many of us upper-rankers wish we had back then. No one can say that Tanki is coddling the Generalissimos anymore. Tankionline is getting better and more balanced with every update. Well, it will be, as soon as they start selling these things for crystals, too.

Noise was founded in 906 AD by Madagascarese elves who grew tired of having to hop aboard a jet plane every time they needed to tell Santa Claus if a child had been naughty or nice. They invented what we now call the modern radio, enabling Santa to get his intel, and providing humanity with one of its first successful method of mass-communication, preceded only by the exploding cream pie. From these humble, festive beginnings, two very expensive radio stations arose; one on top of a hill and one in a pit at the bottom of the hill. The elves split into two groups, so that they might report to Santa more efficiently. The problem, however, was that both groups were trying to report on the same radio frequency, and that caused poor Santa quite a headache as he tried to decipher the incoming blabber. It was decided that one of the groups would have to change their frequency, but neither one wanted to. After weeks of intense bickering, the hateful elves turned to combat, assaulting each other’s radio stations in enormous battle tanks. The citizens of a nearby town all said that they had no idea what was going on over there at the radio stations, but, with all those turret blasts mingling with frantic FM broadcasts, they agreed unanimously that the elves were making entirely too much Noise. Overview 1.) Red Hill The red flag post is located up here, as is the Gas Station (5.) 2.) Blue Pit Location of the blue flag post and the charred hull of a tank. 3.) Middleground The platform between Red Hill and Blue Pit, where most of the fighting takes place. Contains the only Repair Kit drop zone and most of the Gold Box drop zones. 4.) The Garage A random building that can provide a moment of cover as you flee an enemy... or it can provide the enemy with a place to trap you, so be careful. 5.) Gas Station Mostly unimportant building unless you are playing in CP mode, when it becomes a reference point. 6.) Red Tunnel Most commonly used path from the Middleground up to Red Hill. If mines are being dropped here, use the Side Ramp (8.) to get onto Red Hill. 7. Blue Tunnel Usually the safest path from Blue Pit up to the Middleground. The other ramps tend to get camped by snipers and mined by guards. 8.) Side Ramp A valuable alternate path for both teams. Can be camped upon by snipers from both teams and is the location of Point A in CP mode. Deathmatch Best hulls, in order from most to least effective: 1. Dictator 2. Viking 3. Hunter 4. Hornet 5. Titan 6. Mammoth 7. Wasp Best turrets, in order from most to least effective: 1. Firebird 2. Ricochet 3. Hammer 4. Twins 5. Thunder 6. Vulcan 7. Smoky 8. Isida 9. Freeze 10. Railgun 11. Shaft Capture the Flag Best equipment to use, based on your role on the team: Flag runner: medium or heavy hull, especially Dictator, and short-mid range turret, especially Firebird or Twins. Draft: medium hull, especially Viking, and short-mid range turret, especially Firebird and Isida Flag Guard: heavy hull, especially Titan, and a high-damage turret, especially Firebird and Freeze. Rover: medium or heavy hull, especially Titan, and mid-range gun, especially Vulcan and Twins. Best routes to take when taking the flag from: The red team The blue team Capture Point Best equipment to use, based on your role on the team: Capturers: medium hull, especially Viking and Dictator, with short-midrange turret, especially Twins and Firebird. Guards: heavy hull, especially Dictator and Titan, and short-midrange turret, especially Firebird, Twins, and Isida. CP mode in Noise is all about keeping the pressure on the other team. Dying is a very frequent occurrence here, so you need to make sure you squeeze every last drop of productivity out of your time between deaths. Don’t bother dropping mines: you’ll need to use your Double Damage or Double Armors instead. Rush at enemy points and try to blast it clean of enemies. Capturing Point A Once you get onto Point A’s platform, put your back to the wall and watch for enemies spawning near the Garage or coming up the ramp from Blue Tunnel. If you approach from Red Hill: If an enemy is NOT PRESENT at the point, jump down from the left of the Gas Station. If an enemy IS PRESENT, drive down the ramp to the right of the Gas Station, flanking the enemy and avoiding a flip-over. If you approach from the Garage: Unless an enemy is not present at the point, drive up onto Red Hill and approach from there as previously said. Do not attempt to approach from the Middleground, as your enemy will be above you and have the advantage. If you approach from the Middleground: - And you have a short-range turret: make a mad dash for Red Tunnel. The enemies at the point will likely spot you and attack, so have a Repair Kit ready for when you get into the tunnel and out of range. - And you have a long-range turret: activate a Double Damage and open fire on the point. Try to clear it before dying so your teammates can capture it. Capturing Point B If you approach from the Garage: this is the safest route, especially if you have Firebird. Drive up the right ramp, activate a Double Damage, and take as many enemies out before dying. Your teammates will hopefully take it from there.... If you approach from the Middleground: do not go up the Red Tunnel. Enemies almost always block it with mines. Your best route will be the Side Ramp, but watch out for Thunders and Vulcans that often camp on top of the ramp. Capturing Point C If you approach from the Garage: It can be tempting to ease your way down the ramps, but that will likely lead to you getting spotted and mauled. Take a leap of faith (and insanity) from the platform like I suggested for CTF mode. Your landing will surprise the enemies, and you will either land upright, guns blazing, or land upside-down, draining the enemies’ control of the point. Either way, you are helping your team. If you approach from the Middleground: As I said, don’t drive down the ramps, and ESPECIALLY don’t drive down the Blue Tunnel. Jump off of the platform and blitz the point. Locations of the points: Team Deathmatch TDM in Noise is basically DM but with more need for Isidas. Therefore, the list of best equipment for DM is the list of best equipment for TDM, but with Isida tied for first place in the list of best turrets. One of Noise's attractions is the tight spaces, where melee fighters can have the time of their lives blasting enemies with their high-damage, short-range turrets. There are many good places on this map for a melee fighter to camp, but here are the most common: A tip for duelists: When dueling at Noise, your biggest challenge will be spotting your opponent before he spots you. This means that, if you are driving through a tunnel, you should use your DOWN camera adjustment key (“E”) to put the camera behind your tank. This will keep the camera from pulling down to close to your tank for you to see what’s in front of you. When you get out of a tunnel, press the UP camera adjustment key (“Q”) to raise the camera to a level that allows you to see over obstacles. Also, avoid staying in the Middleground for too long. This is the center of the map and will put you right in front of the enemy, no matter where he is. The best place to camp is Red Hill, as it is the highest point on the map and will let you see him immediately as he approaches. Goldhunting: Find that Drop Zone! NOTE: No matter the map or battle mode, you should always press the DELETE button as soon as you hear the Gold Box siren. You will have ten seconds to dart around, searching for the box’s drop zone. When you respawn, you will likely be dropped in wherever you haven’t already checked, and you will have all your supply cool-downs reset. Tip of the cap to for making this map. As soon as you hear the siren, head for the Middleground. Almost all Golds drop there, but if you don’t see the drop zone, check the three pop-ups, as they are the second most likely spots. * * * * * * * * That's all, tankers. Play at Noise and make daring flag-grabbing leaps, hunt for hidden Gold Boxes, and listen to NOEL 122.5 FM... if your human radio can tune to that frequency. Also featured in the Down To a Science series: Kungur Yeah, ridiculously short list. Check back in a few issues!

Aaron glared hatefully at the man standing in front of him. He wanted so badly to kick that ugly face that had laughed as Aaron’s family ran and hid in fear. It hadn’t been long since the man had started messing up everything Aaron cared about. He ruined, in a few short weeks, what Aaron had spent a lifetime building. It started with his kids. Those poor, innocent children had no idea how nasty a human could be until he began hitting them, throwing things at them, knocking them flat on their backs and shouting at them. Aaron had fought with the man as best as he could, but mere love for his children wasn’t enough to combat the man’s brute force. The man had terrorized Aaron’s wife, beating her and screaming about her shortcomings. She’d already had a low self-image, and his horrible insults had finally reduced her to a crying, huddled mass on the floor, rocking back and forth in anguish, begging for it all to end. Nothing Aaron said after that could heal his wounded spouse. He had worked hard to build a good reputation at his place of work, but the man made short work of that. He undermined Aaron at every turn. He started dark rumors about him among the employees, and soon they all thought Aaron was out to get them. The man ransacked what he had done for the company, turning even the manager, who had valued and honored Aaron apart from everyone else, against him. He was fired very quickly. Finally, the man had haunted Aaron day and night. He seemed not to rest. Aaron could see his handiwork in every aspect of his life, and it was all meant to hurt him. From the simplest inconvenience to the most catastrophic breakdown of what he treasured above his own soul, the man’s tireless efforts had made his intentions very clear. And now, there he stood, evenly matching Aaron’s deathly stare, silently mocking the helplessness and hopelessness that churned within him. Aaron’s mind snapped. With reckless speed spurred by the madness of the moment, he fumbled a .357 pistol from the pocket of his jacket. THIS ENDS NOW! He raised the gun and fired one shot, point-blank.... And slumped against the mirror.

My hooves are pretty nice, too, but my ankles are better for some reason.... Salad! Yeah, I sure do like salad... it's such... food! Yep, sure is.

A ball-point pen is fine, provided the ink is black.

If you can't understand the simple concept of No money no service, then you, dear wiki editor, are entirely uninformed. I feel as if I've failed... this article was intended to fix your erroneous view of Tanki's fragile economy, but I suppose I'm just not as good at explaining as I thought.

"A picture of Lham and Hog eating chicken wings?" Actually that could be considered valid....

Wow, are you guys still complaining? It's been a week now, and the world hasn't fallen to pieces, so I'm pretty sure everything's going to be okay without the downvote button.

0.

Ah, but this is an infrequently-visited topic that requires you to admit something. I'll also admit that my favorite spot is the middle of my back. Oh, and I really like cream cheese!

Don't tell ANYTANKI that I said this or I will look very mean at you and tap my hoof in indignation... I like to be tickled. Not a word to anytanki!!!