OMIGOSH, I could go on about eating for the next few centuries. I am the official scholar of all things "eat"; ironic since I eat like nopony else does. I will spare you all of my incredible knowledge on the topic of that bottomless word, "eat", as the unhampered release of sais knowledge would flatten you.

Counting the number of siblings I had in my first family is impossible, but right now I have 103 sisters and 90 brothers. Better go check, though, 'cause that was ten minutes ago. Mom may have adopted another one by now....

Ask the question in Questions and Answers. When you get there, they'll tell you to A.) Buy a score booster pass, B.) Play a big CTF as it gives the most reputation, provided you are the one who captures the flag, and C.) Get out of the forum and go play! You can't earn a single experience point in here.

This is utterly hilarious. Only 8% of Tankers are female, and 0% of them are interested in typing a single number on some pointless forum game. Thank you for the laugh, ElectricIsida. Not that I needed another one.... 776, by the way.

WHO IS PIKACHU?! And what does he or she or it have to do with laughing?!

"Pikachu" sounds like a sneeze.

0... this is really, really pointless.

The cute isida... wait, cute isn't an option?! okay, the helpful isida.

Hard to narrow it down. Peace, Fellowship, Beautiful landscapes, Horizon-oriented Dimensionality, Magic. And muffins.

Who is Pikachu? and what exactly about laughing did you want to discuss?

Human music is pitifully underdeveloped. Not hatin', just sayin'. I've only found a few individuals and groups that sound halfway decent. Imagine Dragons is about the best you have. Songs like "Dreams" and "Lost Cause" are the closest things I've heard to the Bliss genre we usually listen to around here.

Exactly what I always do when I find a bag full of money... sell it to Mica over at the gem shop. The joy of finding a bag of money means nothing to a gem miner.

Rarity made me a new type of "shirt" called a Sift: light, porous fabric coverall that reflects the sun's heat and stands up to a hard day of working in the gemstone mines. It doesn't rub my coat raw like my other work clothes do, and it doesn't constrict behind my legs, so I can walk easier.

Thanks, i guess :mellow: -_- . Wasn't so nice to actually be there.

After weeks of waiting on the edges of our seats, the Tankionline community is overjoyed to welcome the new Daily Missions! The developers have worked many days and nights polishing the update, which promises bigger gifts and an all-around better gaming experience. As is the weekly custom, all my Tanki friends from around the neighborhood brought their laptops over to my house for an afternoon of discussing all things Tanki. We were all excited about the new update, so the main topic we talked about was how to squeeze every possible gift out of the missions. Two ground rules for completing them were quickly agreed upon: A. Do not pay to change them. My good buddy Spike the dragon opened up his daily missions and saw this: “Aw, I hate that map!” He quickly clicked the “Change” button and got this: “Don’t like that, either.” He hit “Change” again. The poor boy didn’t realize it, but he had defeated the purpose of playing the daily missions: to make a material gain. He could've gotten 1700 crystals if he had just played the mission, but the next mission, which also offered 1700 crystals, would only give him a net gain of 850 crystals. He lost half the purpose of completing the mission! B. Try to do two or all three at a time. So you log in one day and get this: What should you do? Join or create a Serphov CP and keep your eyes peeled for Double Armours. You’ll get more gifts this way. I realize, some missions, like the two infamous Generalissimo XT challenges, cannot be completed in a single day, unless you happened to be named Clark Kent. But most of the missions are more attainable and can be completed in a single day, if you go about it right. Keep the two above rules in mind as you tackle your daily missions. Here are the different types and our advice on how to handle each one: 1. Earn a specific number of experience points. Everytanki has a tip on gaining experience points, but one in particular is not useful for completing this mission: buying a score booster pass. As stated above in Point A, you don't want to spend more on a mission than you gain from it. Don't buy a 5000 crystal pass in order to win a few hundred back. The only exception is if you're trying to complete the Generalissimo experience mission. Then you should absolutely buy a 100% booster. Now, here are a few useful tips for gaining xp: * Play a CTF or CP battle. You'll get a hefty amount of xp for capturing stuff, much more than you'll get in a DM. * Use an Isida turret. In addition to gaining points for destroying and capturing, you'll get extra points for healing your teammates. * Only play on a map that is almost or completely full of players. Capturing or destroying when your battle has less than half of its player slots filled won't do you much good. * PARTICIPATE. Get out of the chat box and PLAY THE GAME. You don't get xp by blabbering. Glad I could get that last one off my chest. 2. Finish 1st in a battle I certainly hope that I don’t have to tell you how to win a battle. That would be a bit sad. The best advice I can give you here is to play a small deathmatch with low-ranking opponents. The mission doesn’t care if you defeat one opponent or twenty, so long as you are the top banana when the clock hits zero. Put the odds in your favor. The less enemies you have to deal with, the less of a chance of losing you’ll have. Get the weapon you like the most and find a small map that you enjoy. This type of mission is easy. 3. Earn experience on a specific map or in a specific battle mode These are really the only types you should change. There are some maps that some players do poorly on, so they should, by all means, try to get a better mission, and hopefully with one of their favorite maps. My best friend Fluttershy got the two above missions and, by joining a Kungur CP, completed both in less than fifteen minutes. If you can find a way to combine your missions, go for it. A word of advice: If possible, try to join an existing battle rather than create a new one. I understand, if you get a pair of missions that direct you to play Aleksandrovsk and Capture Point, you probably aren’t going to find an existing battle to suit your needs. But if you can find one, you will save yourself a lot of waiting for enough opponents to join. By joining an existing battle with players already present, you can get straight to completing the mission. 4. Deliver a specific number of flags To capture flags consistently, you need a Double Armour kit, a safe path to your base, and a Draft (ally who follows you and catches the flag if you die). Don’t cry if you are killed and your Draft captures the flag. You participated in the capture, so you get a credit towards your mission. May I suggest some good maps to visit in your quest to complete this mission? Thanks. I knew you wouldn’t mind. 1. Island: The tiniest map in the game has the shortest possible distance between two flags. Unless your teammates fall asleep, as they usually do when I play, a round here should take a nice chunk out of your mission. 2. Cross: The map I first started playing Tanki on has several short, safe routes to the flag. If your opponents lose sight of you for even a second, the surrounding walls and buildings will keep you hidden while you head for home. 3. Madness: The keys to playing Madness are: Hornet; Railgun; drop to the ground level when you spawn. READ THIS!!! Are you paying attention?! DO NOT stay in the upper levels to shoot at enemies! This is not a Deathmatch! You are in CTF because your Daily Mission told you to C some F’s. GOT IT?! Sorry. Madness is aptly named. 4. Brest: The uncontested king of the CTF maps. I will argue this point with you ‘til the galaxies vanish. Noise and Silence are garbage compared to the sheer flag-capturing purity of Brest. You will not convince me otherwise! 5. Capture a specific number of points For this mission, pick the biggest map you can find, like Dusseldorf or Madness. DO NOT GO TO POLYGON OR ISLAND. You want a map with lots of points and lots of breathing room. To play a cramped, single-point map like Poly is to spend an excessive amount of time on the mission. Like the CTF mission, participation is all that’s required. You don’t have to be the only tanker at the point in order to get credit for your mission. 6. Destroy a specific number of opponents. Destroying enemies is as simple as falling and bumping your head, but you need to destroy lots of them in a quick and efficient manner. Grab your favorite equipment and visit a big deathmatch. Polygon and Massacre are two excellent choices. I also suggest you use Double Damage more than any other kit, even Repair. You’ll destroy twice as many enemies and complete your mission in half the time. 7. Gather supply kits. There are two ways to go about this. One is to create a Brest DM and wait for sometanki to drop in (supplies collected on an empty map don't count toward your mission). This map has 4 Repairs, 4 D. Damages, 4 D. Armours, and 12 Speed Boosts. Not quite as many as other, bigger maps, but the kits are all in easy-to-find locations, as shown below: The second way is to tuck the mission in the back of your mind and complete it as you pursue other missions. A word of warning: if you do this, be sure not to use 10 speed boosts as you try to win 9. It's easy to get caught up in the heat of battle, forget about your mission, and waste the kits you were trying to gain, which is why I first suggested creating a slow map on which to gather kits. There's also a mission that requires you to catch a Gold Box. Entire forums have been built on the subject of Goldhunting, but the three topics that will prove most useful in completing your mission are: MAFIOS0's "Gold Box Drop Locations" My "Gold Boxes that You're Practically Guaranteed to Get" S.C.Y.T.H.E's "Goldhunting" * * * * * * * * The Daily Missions update is, like all other updates, intended to make the game more enjoyable for everytanki. Some players, myself included, will miss that cute little gift box that popped up each day, but we can certainly appreciate the extra gifts that our missions will provide. As time passes and memories of Daily Gifts fade, the Tanki Online community will recognize another reason to appreciate the update. Working for your gifts, rather than having them simply dropped in your lap, makes receiving them even more satisfying. When you complete a mission and click that "Claim reward" button, you can sit back and bask in the successful completion of the challenge you faced.

The chat system is Tanki’s simplest and most useful tool. With it, tankers can coordinate team movements, give or take bits of advice, and, most importantly, meet new friends. Such versatility and utility make the chat an indispensable asset. The fact that a tiny text box on the bottom of the screen can hold so much power is daunting to some tankers, who want to use it to its fullest potential but don’t quite know how to go about it. These players sit silently for a moment, fingers poised above the keyboard, racking their brains for ideas.... And then they type “asdfghjkl”. Consider the example of my poor friend Derpy Hooves. She’s a great girl, always fun to hang out with. But put her in front of a chat box and watch what happens. She floods and spams like crazy! She has been banned several times in the past month, yet she defends her actions like a martyr. “Aw, heck, it’s only a five minute ban! No problem!” Here’s my message to you, Derpy: it IS a problem, and here’s why: 1. It accomplishes absolutely nothing. I can’t quite wrap my mind around this. What is so vastly entertaining about repeatedly typing the word “muffin”? Tanki offers you lots of exciting and engaging activities to choose from and enjoy. Isn’t there something more productive you could do besides hammer away aimlessly at your keyboard? You always complain about how few crystals you have, or how the Gold Box never drops; yet there you are in the chat room again, blindly stomping keys like a sleepwalking five-year-old. Stop that and go do something useful! 2. It makes you look silly. Do you think anytanki will want to hang out with a girl who only types gibberish? Of course they won’t! Smart tankers don’t type “gabble uffa muffa bagga boo”, or whatever it is you always say. It’s embarrassing to play on your team when all the other players are snickering at your mindless drivel. Can’t you say something that actually helps the game and informs the players, like “OMIGOSH here comes a tank and he just got the flag and he’s shooting at me and I just blew up AAAGH!” That’s what you always say when you come over to play on my computer. 3. It will get you banned. Hey, Derp, did you know that you can be banned for flooding and spamming? Oh, you did know that? Why, how on earth could you have known... oh, that’s right, you’ve been banned a bazillion times. Must’ve slipped my mind. You always talk about how you want to be on the Tanki reporter team someday (how exactly are you going to accomplish that using pastry recipes?), so I suggest you quit chipping away at your karma and try staying on the right side of the law. 4. You will develop an unpleasant reputation. Don’t think sullied karma is a bad thing? News Flash: Tanki isn’t the only one keeping track. I was playing Farm CTF a few days ago, and our team was short a player. I saw that you were online, so I suggested to a teammate that we invite you to the battle. “No way!” he laughed, “That goofball never does anything but spam the chat box. Invite her and we’re sure to lose!" Derpy, buddy, you know I love you. We’ve been through it all together, and I’ll always be here for you. But that same sentiment urges me to say this: you’re making a fool of yourself. Flooding and spamming are not only against the rules, they are also impacting you beyond Tanki. Some of our own tanker friends living right here in town think of you as a hindrance to the team, and that trickles right into real life. They see you sitting in the café and don’t go over to say "hi", because you’ll probably respond “gabble uffa muffa bagga boo.” For your own sake, either follow the rules or disable your chat box. * * * * * * * * Tanki doesn’t create rules for the mere joy of creating rules. Every restriction they put in place has a very good reason behind it, the no-flooding law included. Typing pointlessly is a waste of the tanker’s time and the computer’s processing power. Tanki’s servers need that power in order to maintain good quality battles that don’t make players scream “MY FRAME RATE IS TWELVE FPS!!!” Blabbering without purpose hurts you, but it also hurts the entire Tanki community. Please, show some common courtesy and keep your chat content brief and useful. As I have told Derpy Hooves many a time, “Less talki, more Tanki.”

I caught a box recently at Madness that was on the very top platform. It landed directly in front of the ramp, which made for a really cool-looking jump-catch.

Shortly after sahl_super completed his missions, Pinkie Pie completed her Daily Missions and got this.

Good luck "are quitting". While you 'is" doing that, I'll be "are enjoying Tanki". Have fun.

AAGH! I just went to look at my daily missions and the "Friends" button was gone! How am I going to play with my friends now...? :(

Oh yeah? You ever been screamed at, insulted, or maligned? Hurts, doesn't it? No physical contact, but the pain in your HEART is worse than anything you could feel in your body. Now imagine that somewhere there lives a guy who knows your name, where you live, and what you are doing. And he's out to get you. That's how my sister feels. It isn't true, but she won't be convinced. I'd say she's been harmed pretty badly, deadmanrising. She has never done anything bad to anybody, and she gets a slap in the face for it.

She was really upset, more because she hurt mom than because she herself was hurt, but she is still scared something might happen. She just needs some time.

Ah. You had me confused there. And you kinda still do.

The Hunter looks the most like a real tank. Viking comes close, but real tanks don't have that split in the hull between the treads. And to the tankers who think the Hunter is too slow because it isn't a Hornet and too lightly armored because it isn't a Viking, you should see CTaen in his Hunter+Twins tossing enemies at Polygon DM. The guy is sensational.

Thanks for such a constructive criticism there, deadmanrising. My sister has nightmares about that day, and she's scared to even use a computer anymore because she's afraid some human might try to hurt her again. The kid is eight, man. This was the most scarring event in her life. No one should have to go through that, especially not my innocent little sister. She just doesn't deserve it. Insensitivity to the pain of children is very unbecoming in an adult. Thanks for showing what you really are on the inside. And it was a paypal account, not a credit card.