@genak --> Celestia has adopted quite a few children in the past few centuries, and many of us play Tanki. It's kind of hard to keep track of so many usernames.

@chameleos --> What crystal boxes? If you want info on Tanki, you don't listen to some random faceless username, you go to Tanki.

@drazeruzumaki --> I wrote that back when IE let me quote. This is a pretty old article, and my browser has malfunctioned since then. Ah, for the good old days. :(

Your warning to beware of those super-friendly smiling faces with knives in their pockets cannot be emphasized enough, on this or any other site. They have no shame. I was just on server EN9 a minute ago, chatting with buddies, and some stranger asked me out of the blue if I wanted to swap accounts. The craziest thing was that he did it with a moderator right there in the chat box, complete with the little symbol next to the name. Needless to say, that stranger is looking for a new line of work.

No, it's 1 in 7000. Tanki edits their Wiki with each update, and the odds are still published as being 1 in 7000.

@GHOST68INVINCIBLE --> Never in my life had I felt such rage as when I found that my sister had been targeted by a scammer. Wherever he is, he had better be on his knees, thanking my mother that all she crashed was his computer. But I know that Mods are doing all they can. There are so many thousands of battles going on right now! There's no way they could possibly stop every case of this happening. I respect their courage in the face of such an overwhelming task.

I disagree with the spamming part, liberator.

It's been forever since I wrote this article, yet I still find a bazillion tankers begging the admin to drop the gold bil. Shows how big a difference I make on this site! :(

@ TNT --> Slightly confused here.

Thank you Osama for your help. I will use the screenshot in future. And the player has been banned. Mom destroyed his computer.

I go to Canterlot every Saturday to visit Mom and Aunt Luna. While I’m there, I don’t play Tanki. I don’t even use a computer. Such activities defeat the point of my visiting them. Last Saturday, however, they had some royal business to attend to, so Mom suggested I tank while they were busy. I logged into my account on Luna’s computer and selected a Brest DM, already occupied by two other players. I dropped in with my M1 Hornet Vulcan and drove to the top of a fort to espy them from afar. They were sitting side-by-side on top of the other fort, staring out over the battlefield. Neither one budged. I paused and watched, befuddled by this very un-Deathmatch-like behavior. A message popped up in the chat box: “I can give you free crystals.” “Really?” chatted the other tanker. “Yes, but you have to trust me.” I was outraged. Those imbeciles were denying me the pleasure of a firefight because they were breaking the rules! I opened the chat box and said, “Transferring game elements and/or account information is illegal and will result in a ban.” They ignored me. “I will let you use my credit card info...” said the first. “Okay.” “But I need your password and email.” I typed furiously. “YOU CAN’T TRADE ACCOUNT INFO OR YOU’LL BE BANNED.” “Not if no one tells” said the second tanker. “I’LL TELL!!!” “Maybe we should find a different battle,” said the first, who promptly left. The second tanker dropped out, leaving me alone on a fort with a sinking feeling that I just witnessed the first stage of an account theft. I dropped out too, and found the two tankers in a different Brest DM. I tried to join, but they had set the map to only allow two players. So I went to an Island CP and played for about half an hour. But my mind was not in Island. I couldn’t get that scene in Brest out of my head. Surely the tanker would realize that giving up his email and password would only lead to a stolen account! The predator who was luring him never intended to let him use his credit card for free. That’s ridiculous! Surely the other tanker would see that. I had driven off the edge of the island twice during this muse, and my teammates were getting mad at me. I logged out and shut off the computer. My hunger was getting a little painful, so I went to see if Celestia and Luna had returned yet. I went into the livingroom to find my adopted little sister, Cirrus, crying her heart out in front of the fireplace. Mom sat on the floor next to her, looking very sad. “What’s wrong?!” I tried not to sound panicked. Cirrus tried to respond, but she was crying too hard. She choked on her words and started coughing. Celestia motioned for me to go out. I had never seen my baby sister so upset. I shut myself in my bedroom and started crying too, from worry if nothing else. Luna came in a few minutes later and told me what happened. Cirrus met a tanker at Brest DM who offered her free crystals. He coaxed her account information out of her and used it to hack Mom’s PayPal account. I felt sick to my stomach. That poor tanker I saw just thirty minutes earlier was my baby sister! And that reprobate had duped her into giving up her account. The PayPal account was safe. A simple pulse from Celestia’s horn crashed the crook’s computer and erased everything he had stolen. But the real damage was done: Cirrus had lost her mother’s trust. * * * * * * * * About a year ago, we ponies were elated to discover another intelligent civilization in the universe. We have enjoyed our time with you, and many of us have grown to trust you, including me. But now you have lost my trust. I am disgusted. Is this really how you humans entertain yourselves? By preying on the young and innocent? Ponies who commit such a heinous act are banished from our world forever. * To the tanker who hacked my baby sister’s account: You got off so, so easy. Hurting my family is unforgivable. Congratulations, you now have a horde of enemies for life. * To all Tankionline players: beware of anyone offering you anything in exchange for your account info. No matter how nice they may seem, they are out to get you. * To Tankionline’s moderators: please stay vigilant in your daily fight against the monsters who only visit our site for nefarious purposes. Thank you for all you do. * To humanity: I hope you’re satisfied. We have never meant you any ill. And you repay us by ruining my sister’s life.

I caught my first gold at Rio CTF just about two weeks after I started. The siren made me nervous. I was afraid that bombs were about to start falling or something, because the siren sounded like an air raid warning. I drove down the street and came to a picture of a diamond on the pavement. I was even more confused. When the Gold finally came into view, no other tanks were around. I hesitated, unsure of what it was, then rolled forward and touched the Gold Box. The rest is history.

@shadewartt --> You are correct. Sure wish Internet Explorer would let me.

@E.Leclerc --> Think it's impossible? You haven't seen Lolly play.

@NatchGa --> Mop-up time! So you've never heard the arguments, eh? That must mean that no one has ever used them! Yes, that was sarcasm. "They remove skill from the game" is part of point #2, but I'll go ahead and rehash my rebuttal. To do that, I'll crack the old Webster again, this time the 1994 Third College Edition, and define Skill for you: Skill ~ "Great ability or proficiency" So, what do you consider "great ability and proficiency" to be? The normal tanker would say " Being able to win in battles". However, since you seem to be the type of person/pony/whatever you are who gets his kicks by constantly disagreeing (not hatin', just sayin'), your opinion of skill is probably " great ability or proficiency, as long as the player doesn't use supplies". Well, let me give you my definition of skill: "great ability or proficiency, as long as the player doesn't use a monitor". Now every player who uses a monitor is officially an unskilled cheater. We should all petition Tankionline to ban the usage of computer monitors by its players. This also makes me and my unicorn friends the only skilled players in Tanki, as our magic renders monitors unnecessary. There I go again, using logic. My apologies to everytanki. Maybe I should visit Zecora for a psychonio-session. Lollytwist has played a thousand or more battles in the past two or three months, fighting tens of thousands of different tankers and using many different combinations and strategies to try (and fail) to win. She has had every chance in the world to do well, but she hasn't. I already gave my theory. And yes, she turns her turret.

I am, aren't I? Oh, you meant the article. Yeah, I like it too.

The only good thing about Miniclip is the pool game. Their version of Tanki is not as complete as tankionline.com.

No idea, it depends on how often he plays

@TNT --> Do YOU have any idea what MAGIC is saying? "Mulp"?!

RampagingVenom makes an excellent point.

My physical mother is Queen Chrysalis. I'd love to change my name to sonofcelestia, as Princess Celestia is my adopted mother.

@Penguin40 --> Again, that's your choice of playing style. Do as you please.

My friend Lollytwist has been on Tanki for exactly one week longer than I. She has always played twice as much as me, even back when Tanki was all I ever did. The poor girl rarely leaves her house. And she is a Warrant Officer 2. “How could such a thing be possible?” you ask. I’ve played this game far less than she has, yet I am miles above her in rank. It isn’t because I use a score booster pass. I don’t need one. I’ll tell you why she is so far behind: She is as stubborn as an upside-down bottle cork. I love Lollytwist like a sister. When I first fled to Canterlot, everypony shunned me because I come from such a wicked breed of monsters. Not Lollytwist! She accepted me for who I am on the inside, and her trust in me was soon noticed by the princesses. The rest is history. But she is still a very stubborn individual. She refuses to use the supply power-ups that fall in the battles. She will drive her tank right around them, and she actually downgraded her keyboard to not include the number pad so that she could “resist the temptation to press the number keys during a battle”. She believes that there is some sort of moral problem with using them. Tankers all over the world are shaking their heads and laughing. Please, don’t look down on my friend for her decision to not use supplies. It is her playing style, and she is entitled to play as she wishes. But this decision has some very noticeable effects on her Tanki experience: 1.) She never does well in battles. When Lolly first started out, she was the tanker in charge. Notanki was safe from her devastating barrage of Twins fire. Deathmatches saw her win with a D/L percentage of 10.00 or more, and her crystal wallet grew enough to buy the Firefly kit before she even unlocked it. Then, when her opponents started using those supplies, her successful streak ended. Nowadays, she can play for thirty minutes on a packed-full Noise DM and be lucky to make five kills. All while using an M1 Firebird against M0 enemies! 2.) She has never caught a Gold Box. Ever. She is one of those tankers that screams “NO KILL!!!” in the chat box as soon as the Gold siren sounds. She begs everytanki to not shoot, because if they do (and they always do) she’ll have no chance at grabbing the Big Box. If she used a repair kit, she would’ve caught one by now. She probably would’ve caught quite a few. 3.) Everytanki laughs at her. To many players, nothing in Tanki is funnier than hunting an anti-kit tanker. Poor Lolly gets spawn-camped in practically every battle she plays, because she is the easiest kill on the battlefield. In fact, she was hunted by an M0 Wasp Firebird at Cross DM about two months ago; the player killed her 27 times in fifteen minutes. Lolly never made a single kill. When the battle was over, the Railgun said “Best DM I’ve ever played LOL”. That Railgun was Rainbow Dash, a Sergeant Major at the time. Lolly was a Warrant Officer 2, using her Firefly kit. 4.) She gets extremely frustrated. It’s tough to be the only tanker in the universe who doesn’t use supplies. Sure, there are others out there who shun kits, but she never sees any of them because they are so incredibly rare. All she ever sees is the Double-Damage shell from a Thunder as it shrieks into her hull and pops her like a balloon in a frying pan. That gets pretty upsetting. In fact, she had to buy a new keyboard last week because she put her old one through a window. Of course, her new keyboard has no number pad. 5.) She never ranks up. She has been a Warrant Officer 2 for over two months, despite the three hours she spends on this site each day. A tanker can’t rank up without actually making a kill or capturing something. I ran a few numbers as I was typing this. If she continues performing as she is now, she will reach my current rank of Third Lieutenant in 124 years, assuming she continues to play three hours daily. My offspring will have formed their own nation by then. I’m not even married yet! I asked Lolly exactly why in Celestia’s name she refuses to use supplies when it’s obvious that she needs them so badly. Her arguments against them, and my rebuttals, are as follows: 1.) “They give an unfair advantage.” You are using an M0 Wasp Smoky with no special paint, and your opponent is using the same. You are sitting in front of each other, blasting away. EGADS! He just used one of those dastardly Repair kits! The fiend! Call the marines! Call your lawyer! Call Sylvester Stallone! Or just use your own Repair kit. DUUUH! 2.) “Tankers rely on them to help them win.” Hmm. Now, I am pretty new at this game, so I MAY BE WRONG, but I’m pretty sure you, anti-kit tanker, rely on a hull and turret to help you win. A POX UPON THE TURRETS! OFF WITH THEIR HEADS! 3.) “Tanki’s money-grubbing executives want you to blow all your crystals on temporal supplies and not long-lasting equipment, that way you’ll HAVE to buy crystals when you need better guns and hulls.” Oh, good grief. If those “greedy old executives” who made the game you obsess over really intended the evil you accuse them of, then why do supplies drop in the battles? They don’t cost you a thing. Neither do the kits you get as Daily Bonuses. Why does Tanki put equipment on sale if they’re trying to dupe you into spending your money on them? Have you considered the possibility that the people who run Tanki might NOT be out to get you? 4.) "They detract from the spirit of the game." And what, pray tell, do you believe the spirit of the game is? I’ll wait while you come up with an answer. * * * * * * * * I’ve had a bath, eaten dinner, cloudwatched for an hour with Fluttershy, and knitted three blankets. Do you know yet what the spirit of the game of Tanki is? No? Let me help. “Enjoy the company of like-minded friends around the world and around the universe, even as you are blowing them to bits.” How is a Speed Boost kit going to hinder that? It isn’t going to, unless you got up this morning looking for a reason to be a grouch. 5.) "Only cheaters use supplies." CHEAT ~ verb (pronounced “cheet”) To deceive by any artifice, trick, or device, with a view to gain an advantage contrary to common honesty; as to cheat a person at cards. Definition taken from the 1828 American Dictionary of the English Language. You humans ought to be proud of that book and the guy who put it together. Now, here’s the definition of a supply kit: “A power-up that Tanki created and provides its players with.” * Cheating is to break the rules. * Tankionline lays down the rules. * Tanki created supplies. * Using supplies is not cheating. WHOOPS! Did I just use... oh, I can’t even say the dirty word... LOGIC?! I am so sorry. I’ll be more careful from now on. * * * * * * * * I am inexpressibly thankful for my friend Lollytwist. Without her, I would’ve been cast out like the vicious wretch I was. I don’t come close to deserving the kindness she has shown me, and I will always be in her debt. And she has her own style of playing Tanki, which may make zero sense to me, but she seems to be fine with it. That’s all that matters. Supplies are to Tanki what Super Mushrooms are to Super Mario and what Medkits are to Dying Light. They are simply one of the game’s fundamental components. Yet there are some players who, like Lolly, refuse to accept the supplies as legitimate. Many hold to the arguments I have listed (and defeated), and some have other reasons. I speak for all supply-using tankers when I say this to the ones who don’t use them: we respect your decision to not use them. Tanki is one of the most successful free online games of all time because the players can choose any fighting style they want. Your unique style is what you are happy with, and we are happy that you are happy. But don’t repay us evil for good. We are tolerant of your anti-kit stance, so don’t be intolerant of our usage of kits by hating on us, or by trying to make Tanki take them away. That sort of hypocrisy violates the atmosphere of camaraderie and fellowship that defines the spirit of our beloved pastime.

Shaloo7 and sahl_super, please read the rules of this topic. I said that this is a place to put your Gold-catch stories, and no images. Yet you have violated both rules.

Thanks everytanki! I had fun writing it. And now, as I promised, I have just published "In Defense of Supplies".