It is a great addition to the game. Was just playing for hours a few days ago, dropping into the red attacking side and guiding the team to victory over and over again in at least ten different battles (although we did lose two because of greyat).

I would request that dynamic weather be added to the maps (if selected by the player who starts the battle). An option to increase the camera's distance behind the tank would also be nice. Oh, and please, someone do something about the piles of dirty laundry in Remaine's bedroom. I can hardly even walk in there.

Sorry for the delay; I was just noticing that Contradiction has been staring at the Real Photo topic for the past ten minutes. 0.

Was going to give you the list of what's happened (aside from greyat shredding my curtains for the quadrillionth time), but it seems everytanki else has already clouded this topic with responses. One or two are correct. Or so it may seem. Maybe none of them are correct, because all may have misunderstood the question. In which case, I am sorry, but all I have at the moment is mustard. Will that suffice?

Really?

Due to frequent requests, and a few nightmares I've had recently, I present for your enjoyment another Warphare story. - * * * * * * * * - The man with the glowing hands sat before the secret council of world leaders. “The newly crowned king of Merisia has made clear his intentions to block the vital shipping lanes to the north. If that happens, the entire world economy will fall into a depression.” The council’s speaker paused to glance down at his notes. “Your mission is to destroy the Merisian navy. Is that clear?” The room fell silent as the man studied the speaker. At last, he let out a fatigued sigh. “Forget it. I quit.” A rumble of shocked murmurs erupted as the man stood up. “Excuse me, sir, do you mean to say that you refuse to accept the mission?” “I’ve done everything you people have wanted for twenty long, boring years. I’ve wiped out every terrorist organization on the planet, helped establish a colony on Mars, and brought most of the world under one unified and stable world government. No thanks, no payment, just more missions. I’ve had enough. It’s time to turn my attentions to something more important.” “And what could possibly be more important than the security and well-being of the civilized world?!” sputtered the speaker. The man pulled a picture from his pocket and gazed at it for a long moment. “All my life,” he said softly, “I’ve felt nothing but emptiness. I’ve brought peace to billions of people, yet my own heart has been in turmoil… until I met Andrea.” A number of dignitaries were sneaking from the room unnoticed. “We are to be married soon,” the man continued as he smiled at the picture. “The rest of my life will be devoted to the security and well-being of someone who has more than filled the void within me.” The man looked up at the sound of a closing door. He now stood alone in an empty conference room. “Your insubordination is a dire threat to our world,” crackled the speaker’s voice over an intercom in the ceiling, “and therefore we cannot allow you to go any further.” In an instant, the doors came crashing down. Flash-bang grenades erupted around the man as special ops soldiers poured in to apprehend him. With a slight gesture of his hand, the man snuffed out the grenades and vaporized the soldiers. The man chuckled. “I’m not quite sure what that was about. Those soldiers had francium rifles, so it seems they were in here to dispatch me.” He kicked a charred body aside and stepped over to the intercom. “Surely you don’t intend to oppose me-.” The roar of a thousand engines rattled the windows. The man walked over and opened the curtains to see hundreds of black helicopters filling the sky above the city. There were too many to take out at once. “Why are you doing this?!” he shouted at the intercom. All at once, the helicopters opened fire, cutting into the building with massive pulse cannons and sending an avalanche of debris hurtling into the terrified crowd thirty stories below. “Omnipotent power cannot exist outside of Man’s control,” screeched the intercom. “To allow that would be gambling with our annihilation.” The man dove through a window and out into the smoky sky. The helicopters spun in place, trying to keep him in their crosshairs, but he nimbly swooped out of range. “I FREED HUMANITY FROM WAR, DISEASE, AND POVERTY. WHY CAN YOU NOT ALLOW ME TO BE FREE AS WELL?!” The man stretched out his hand, and the sky was filled with fire. Gunships exploded and rained down into the streets. A missile struck the man on the shoulder, issuing a fountain of smoke and blood. He poured all of his rage into the fight as the humans rushed to counter him…. * * * * * * * * “ANDREA?!” The man limped across the broken pavement, avoiding the jets of flame that burst from the ground. The nuclear bombs had reduced the planet to a dirty, lifeless fireball, but Andrea would be waiting for him, and he would take her to safety. Up ahead stood the burning ruins of her house. Once surrounded by pecan trees, Andrea’s rural home had been a place where many restful days had been spent plotting and planning about the future they would spend together. The man stepped through the collapsed doorway and stopped in the livingroom. There was nothing left aside from the shell of the fallen ceiling fan and a few crumpled soda cans. “ANDREA!” Where is she hiding? All the fighting must have been pretty scary for her… maybe she’s in her bedroom. The man rounded a corner and entered the bedroom. Across the bed laid an ashen skeleton with a ring on its finger and a shattered picture frame in its hand. The picture was badly burned, but the forms of the man and his bride-to-be were still faintly visible. And the man stood alone in the emptiness. Also in the Warphare series: Psychological Interpersonal Internal Practical Final

After a long time away, I see you people still haven't gotten off the ground with this. 0.

TO will end because I am so cute.

Poor, innocent momy. I understand your need for attention as I am afflicted by the same, but you forgot to mention that the battle in which I tipped thrice ended thus: Despite your enthusiastic swallowing of Repair kits that, I must admit, made me proud at how well I have taught you. Thoroughly enjoyed our little skirmish. Be sure to attend class next week. ;) :lol: Ah, and as a side note from when I caught up with you later at Polygon CP:

Had a jolly time on the holiday map earlier with my new daily-mission-gift premium subscription. Caught a Gold Bil too; didn't get a picture though :(

My earliest memory is watching the blue crates drifting from the sky. “What are those, Momma?” I asked in childish curiosity. “Those,” she answered warmly, “are going to buy you an M3 railgun someday.” Day after day, I watched from the window of our garage as she rolled out into the desert and gathered the crates. She looked so happy as she collected them, and I knew that she was indeed happy. She was happy to provide for her baby. As the years wore on, her hard work had accumulated enough crystals to buy an M1 railgun for me. She watched with pride as I skidded around the yard, gleefully firing it in all directions. And she continued to gather the crates, looking forward to the day when her little boy would need them for a much stronger weapon. And then the skies were empty. Momma assured me that all was well. There were occasional droughts, and this was no different. The crates would soon fall again, as they always had. She sat by the window and waited as days turned into weeks. Not a single blue crate fell. I looked out of our garage one morning and saw Momma sitting silently in the yard, staring into the sky. I rolled outside and sat quietly next to her. I’ll never forget her mournful expression as she gazed upwards into the emptiness, silently pleading for a blue crate to drop. Her little boy needed the crystals. I begged her to come back inside, to get out of the sun, to please be happy again. She sat right there and didn’t say a word. As the weeks passed, her paint faded and her hull rusted. She ignored me as I struggled in vain to push her inside our garage. I gave up and went inside to cry, alone, as I had done all the days before. Then one afternoon, the scorching desert sun pierced the thick armour and ignited her fuel tank. I watched in horror as black smoke billowed from the hull I had nestled up to each night. She didn’t make a sound. I believe that her spirit was already gone. Many years have passed, and the crystal crates are still absent. Momma waited for them ‘til the end. She still waits under the desert sun, watching for that reviving flash of blue. In memory of Momma Tanki, who gave all she had so her baby could have life.

It’s been a wild two weeks here on Tankiforum, but we, the English community reporting team… ah, who am I kidding… but I, the big nose to the ground in this epic struggle for a plethora of thrilling news stories, have arranged a thorough summary to keep you in the know: Deadly exploding Gold Boxes sighted! Run for your lives! Early yesterday morning, patrons of our fair game were startled by an unexpected server restart. Many wondered what it was for, as Tanki usually announces when such things will happen (for the convenience of the players, or maybe just to give Cedric Debono something to do – no one knows for sure). Anyway, yep, that’s what happened. BUT THEN! As players began repopulating the maps, they discovered a horrid new phenomenon! CAN YOU GUESS WHAT IT WAS?! The gold boxes that dropped after the server restart were rigged to blow up the tanks they landed on! As you can see by this here fine picture: The poor unwitting tanks that succeeded in grabbing the gold bils were immediately blasted to smithereens! Not a crystal was added to the players’ wallets; instead, a virus was installed in the victims’ computers that caused their speakers to play the gut-wrenching monotony of Adele’s “Hello” non-stop around the clock, even if the power cord was unplugged. Of course, certain tankers who previously couldn’t catch a gold if it was in their shirt pocket suddenly became masters of catching them, as crowds of terrified players ran and hid when the Gold Siren blared a warning. Fen’Harel, commonly known on the forum as “Footsie”, is basically a “Shoot Me” sign on wheels, having one of the only negative D/L ratios in the game. He has also never caught a Gold Box. But boy, has he been vacuuming them up lately! Tankers looking for some explanation to the madness have sent many frantic PMs to Semyon Kirov, only to receive the same reply: “MUHUHUHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!” Don’t touch that X button, folks. We will have more updates as this story unfolds, or unveils, or whatever…. TriNitroToluene has been spotted… rummaging through Remaine’s refrigerator! Never sneak up on a hungry bomb. That’s what poor yittle Remaine learned Monday when he got back from his day job as guitarist Travis Eddy’s foot rest. He arrived home to find that his apartment door had been blown open with some sort of explosive device. So scared at that point that he wet himself, he promptly called the police. They laughed him off, reminding him of the many times he had prank-called them, asking for a pizza delivery, so Remaine had to venture into the apartment alone, now hungry for pizza. At first, nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he shuffled inside, apart from the gaping hole in the wall and the tower of scorching flames that ate at the floor and filled the room with smoke. But since the room usually wound up like that anyway when conanthedestroyer visited, Remaine ignored the havoc and crept into the kitchen clutching a plastic spoon with which to defend himself. DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUN! THERE HE WAS, television’s lovable Pratyush Puhamahamabawhatever, scooping raisins and feta cheese out of the refrigerator and dumping them into his gigantic mouth! A look of disdain crossed Remaine’s pudgy face. That fiend! He had done the same thing last week, and he got away before Remaine could douse him with his trusty can of anti-TNT spray. That would not happen now! HE WOULD AVENGE THE STOLEN RAISINS! Walking quietly so as not to alert TNT (or wake the neighboring family of cockroaches), Remucus crossed the smoke-filled kitchen and raised his flimsy little spoon-. KERBLAM. More on this story as we dig out what’s left of him. MadDog21 might actually write an article for once! Ha! Yeah, right…. Meanwhile, a new hull is being added, called “Canoe” On Sunday, the community manager for Tanki’s Martian players announced that the garage will be growing by one piece this February. The “Canoe” hull will be a fast-moving, slow-paced bit of machinery that’s kind of like Mammoth but similar to Wasp in some ways. It will feature a pair of oars (for bumping tanks away when the [exploding] gold boxes fall), a bizarre covering of skins and furs (which I, as a pony, am not looking forward to at all!), and a few ancient tribal warriors brandishing clubs and knives. The announcement has gained quite a bit of attention, and some of it is unwelcome. The Department of United Nominal Canoe Enterprises is now suing Tankionline’s Martian community manager for the unethical treatment of canoes, as well as not saying “please” when he finished his announcement with the phrase “you all have a good week.” The manager is flabbergasted by this legal assault on his announcement, and told us in an interview Tuesday: “I have no idea how they can accuse me of unethical treatment. I mean, seriously, I’ve seen those goons: they sit in their canoes. Don’t you think it’s a little impolite to SIT on someone? Isn’t that more unethical?” We will have more information on this after we finish painting Lhamster’s livingroom.

Thank you; it appears my spell check was being a naughty boy.

My agreement meter is off the charts. This map is, and always will be, tied for first as my favorite map. What's the other best map, you ask? You'll see.

Just wanted to let you all know that I saw a Berlin TDM in my backyard yesterday afternoon, eating out of a bird feeder. It ran away before I could get the camera, but I know it will be back, as they tend to build nests in this area....

History of Cross Cross was founded in 1927 when Gregory Peck had a brilliant idea to increase the effectiveness of billboard advertising: confuse the highway motorists! To test his theory, he grabbed a shovel and, for the next several days, rearranged the main street of a nearby town so that it curved, looped, and twisted in a bewildering fashion. The poor souls who drove on the new road soon became hopelessly lost, and started using the billboards as reference points as they tried to find their way. The advertising companies that owned the billboards were thrilled by this demonstration and quickly bought it from Peck. After a few backroom deals with the Department of Transportation, all the roads in the area were converted to the bizarre new Escherian style. Once the exhausted drivers finally realized what was going on, they took to the streets in giant battle tanks, determined to avenge themselves for all the trouble they went through in their daily commutes. The advertisers countered with their own tanks and the battle raged on until every combatant lost his job for not showing up to work. Therefore, no one had any money for food, and soon, everyone starved to death. The end! * * * * * * * * One of this map’s greatest glories is its simplicity. It is nearly one hundred percent symmetrical, and the tasks of capturing flags or points are as straightforward as possible. Deathmatch and Team Deathmatch Best hulls, in order from most to least effective: 1. Hunter 2. Hornet 3. Wasp 4. Viking 5. Titan 6. Mammoth 7. Dictator Best turrets, in order from most to least effective: 1. Ricochet 2. Twins 3. Hammer 4. Freeze 5. Firebird 6. Smoky 7. Isida 8. Railgun 9. Thunder 10. Vulcan 11. Shaft Capture the Flag Best equipment to use, based on your role on the team: Flag runner: Light hull, especially Hunter, and mid-range turret, especially Ricochet and Twins. Draft: light hull, especially Hornet, and short-mid range turret, especially Firebird and Isida. Flag Guard: heavy hull, especially Titan, and a long-range turret, especially Smoky. Rover: medium hull, especially Viking, and short-mid range gun, especially Ricochet, Freeze, and Firebird. Best routes to take when taking the flag from either side: Capture Point Best equipment to use, based on your role on the team: Capturers: light hull, especially Hornet, and short-range turret, especially Freeze and Firebird. Guards: medium hull, especially Viking, and mid-range turret, especially Twins and Ricochet. Locations of the points: Goldhunting: Find that Drop Zone! NOTE: No matter the map or battle mode, you should always press the DELETE button as soon as you hear the Gold Box siren. You will have ten seconds to dart around, searching for the box’s drop zone. When you respawn, you will likely be dropped in wherever you haven’t already checked, and you will have all your supply cool-downs reset. Since MAFIOS0 has not yet finished a guide to this map, I have created my own. This map is by no means complete; it only shows the drop zones that I have seen. As soon as you hear the siren, drive up onto the overpass and search from one billboard to the other. If the drop zone isn’t on the overpass, you should see it from this vantage point. A tip for duelists: When dueling at Cross, you must be extremely careful not to lose sight of your opponent. Sounds basic, I know, but Cross has loads of obstacles that will hide him perfectly as he sneaks in close for a killshot. If you do lose sight of the enemy, drive up onto the overpass. Do not stay in one place (well, you shouldn’t do that at all on this map), but do drive from one side of the pass to the other. In doing so, you will see your opponent’s location, and you may get in a good position to drop down on him. * * * * * * * * That’s all, tankers. Play at the oft-forgotten Deathmatch paradise that is Cross, and if you happen to see Gregory Peck anywhere (assuming he managed to find food), tell him that MadDog21 wants his shovel back.

Zer0.

In addition to the fun and festive bonuses we all enjoyed during the holidays, Tanki’s players were treated to a fresh new team game called “Assault Mode.” For the entire holiday period, adventurous tankers thronged the holiday map to try this new mode, including yours truly. Assault Mode daily mission in hoof, I grabbed my trusty Twins and Hunter combo and set out to learn the ins and outs of Assault. The Good News: 1.) Nice to have a new mode. The four usual modes are fun, but they are as old as dirt. Tankers who have grown bored with the game (how is that even possible?!) can appreciate Assault more than anytanki else. 2.) Genuine feeling of teamwork on the defensive side. When I enter a team battle, I expect my team to work AS A TEAM. Often I find that the opposite happens, such that I am the only one trying to win while every other “team member” is galloping blissfully around, licking a lollypop and getting his butt blown to Kingdom Come by the enemies. Life’s tough when you’re the only good player. Anyway, in Assault mode, the blue defending team always knew just what to do. Mammoths and Titans would crowd the fort, Railguns and Vulcans would sit on the towers, and Isidas would swarm around the damaged tanks. That wonderful team mentality got in everytanki’s head, and previously hostile tanks became friendlier and more productive for the team. 3.) The mode is balanced very well. After six hours of testing an update to gameplay, you usually find some sort of problem that needs tweaking. Here's what I expected to see from the Assault games: one team would win a lot more than the other due to improper balance of geography or scorekeeping. You know, kind of like how the blue team never, ever wins in Serphov CTF at my rank…. However, after all that time, I found that both sides won equally as often. The blue team’s score grew at just the right pace, so that a flag or two could put the red team ahead (unless they sat around looking goofy, which would gradually push them further behind). But alas, there were a couple of details that made Assault mode less than perfect. So, here’s the Bad News: 1.) Frequent sabotage on the red team. I never play CTF at Madness unless a.) a friend is playing there, b.) the opponents are of a lower rank AND I need to rank up fast, or c.) I have completely lost my mind. Why, you ask? Oh… you didn’t ask… well, I’ll tell you anyway (so HA). Madness CTF is the worst team map in Tankionline. The matches always, always, ALWAYS play out like this: one team is utterly clueless. They have no business getting out of their little infant beds and messing around with their mommies’ computers. They sit in the upper levels, firing at enemies, doing absolutely nothing to capture flags, or even stop opponents from capturing any. The other team captures about ten flags in… eh, about three minutes. Around that time, a fight breaks out at the losing team’s flag post. No, a member of the losing team didn’t just obtain a brain and started to play as he should: the winning team is fighting to see who carries the flag next. Eight or nine tanks will be piled up at the flag post, pushing and shoving. If one tank gets the flag, the others will usually try to push him off the edge of the map so the flag will return. And so, after eating flags so quickly, the winning team’s progress comes to a screeching halt due to a behavior that, to the uninvolved bystander, would be considered sabotage and deserving of a violation report. The same kind of sabotage happened constantly on the red team in nearly every Assault mode game I played. Partial Solution: create impact damage rings around the flag posts. Friendly tanks that collide inside the ring will suffer impact damage as they fight for the flag. If they continue to fight over the flag, they will self-destruct. This will do nothing to prevent teammates from flipping each other over outside the ring, but hey, at least one half of the problem will be solved. 2.) The lowest battlefunds of any team game. Do not misunderstand me: I do not play Tanki with visions of crystals dancing in my head. No good player does. I play because it is freaking fun to do so, and even more fun to win. I have had fun in battles where I lost a thousand crystals by using a dump truck full of supplies, and I have had the worst days of my life playing pointless matches and gaining tens of thousands of crystals. This game is not about crystals. But, to other less enlightened players, you play Tanki so you can get crystals so you can buy more stuff so you can get more crystals (with which you eventually can’t do a thing). And those players would prefer to play at Kungur CP rather than at Happy New Year ASL. The mode just doesn’t deliver the same size battlefund as other modes with the same time limit. I mean, sure, the dividends are only about a hundred crystals smaller at my rank, but to some tankers, a single crystal is something to cry over. Solution: There are two possible solutions. Either Tankionline spends weeks reworking the system so that the Assault mode battlefunds are bigger, or the players learn that playing Tanki for crystals is like playing Pokémon to earn “Pokédollars” or whatever the heck the game’s currency is called. You play because it is enjoyable. There is no other reason. * * * * * * * * Assault mode is, for now, just a little holiday bonus that Tankers enjoyed for the Christmas and New Year period. We the players have thoroughly enjoyed the new mode, in spite of a few minor ouchies, and certainly hope that it will stay.

0.

Yep, Chrysalis is my mom. This is how I'm told she started... not sure about much before that.

Confound that "full screen" blip! It has ruined several of my favorite pictures, including this one from yesterday: Not to worry, as it didn't mess up this more important one:

The best hull to use depends entirely on the map. The bigger the map and the more spread out the tanks are, the smaller and faster the hull should be. On Island, therefore, a Pocket Isida would use a Mammoth hull.

I am already using size 12.

That works like a charm. About half of my mine kills are dropped from above.

Do you need the font larger or smaller?