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A new map AND a new battle mode?! Extremely happy holidays to everytanki! :) :)

AAAAHHH, but you see, my aunt Luna has a spell that can make genetically modified gnats have nightmares! 0.

The same way we get Tankionline.

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I shall write like the wind!

*faints*

I shall now ask my aunt Luna to personally haunt all your dreams with a giant flyswatter! :angry: :ph34r: :P 0.

OMIGOSH I'm not the only one who read The Art of War! Awesome!

“Cedar?” Mimosa strained to hear over the freezing wind, listening for her friend’s reply. Only a moment ago he had walked at her side as they made their way home through the snow. Where did he disappear to? And why? “Cedar!” No sound but the wind, and nothing around her but darkness. Fear began to eat at her mind. Why did he leave me like this? She stepped lightly forward, her lime green hooves smushing into the snow with a soft crunch. Another soft crunch behind her. She turned to see a dark shape standing still, staring silently. “Cedar?” Mimosa whispered hopefully. The thing stepped forward. A scream of terror caught in her throat. She whirled around and ran blindly into the nothingness, spurred on by the sound of heavy breathing right behind her. The light from her house shone dimly up ahead, but she couldn’t run fast enough. She felt as if she was moving underwater. The thing was going to kill her. Suddenly she was in her house, sprawled on the floor, gasping to fill her frostbitten lungs with air. She kicked at the door, but it was already shut. WHY DID HE LEAVE ME? He has always been with me, but just when I needed him most, he goes away-. BAM BAM BAM. She jumped at the knock on the door. “Mimosa?” says a familiar voice from outside. All at once her fear was gone. She wept with relief and struggled to her hooves. He’s back; I’m safe. Turning the knob with her Alicorn magic, she swung the door open wide to receive her friend…. And the thing was upon her. Mimosa staggered and fell on her back, kicking and screaming. “PLEASE DON’T HURT MEEE!” she wailed with an unnaturally deep voice. It stood over her, watching as she went into a terrible seizure. It grinned as smoke poured from her eyes. “Why would he leave you when he knew you were in danger, Mimosa?” asked the dark intruder. “I thought he loved and cared about you.” The girl’s shrieks turned to groans as her body tore itself apart. “You know what I think?” It leaned close to whisper in her blackened ear. “I don’t think he ever really cared about you.” With a final burst of flames, the frenzied body on the floor fell silent and still. The work was done. The dark horse smiled kindly at his new creation. “What is your name, child, and what is it you want?” From the burning pile of flesh, a head arose. “My name is Chrysalis, and I want love.”

Feeling a little better now, thanks. Was digging a gem mine in Everfree forest earlier in the week and found a nest of Everfree Exploding Caterpillars. Those things emit a horrible gas cloud when they pop. 0.

No problem; next time just click the "hide" button at the bottom of your double-post. A blip will come up asking you to enter a reason why you are hiding it. Type "accidentally double posted", click "enter", and voila! I will magically turn into a grapefruit! After your post is hidden, that is.

Sorry for my inactivity, fellow volunteers; I have been very sick this past week. 0.

What is Santa Claus? OOH, that's the human version of Santa Hooves. Eh heh. You humans never did get the whole "magic" thing down right.

Eh heh heh heh heh.... Need I say more?

Brest (pronounced “bray”; it’s French) was actually already there in 2007, but the town was visited that year by a bricklayer named Melton who had always been haunted by a single question: why would anyone ever put a shiny Pokémon in Wonder Trade? As a boy he had received a shiny level 100 Abomasnow in exchange for a piddling level 25 Tentacool. He had struggled with the logic and simply couldn’t find a reason to throw away such a treasure. On the other side of town, a beekeeper named Blake was wondering just the opposite: why would anyone put a worthless Pokémon in Wonder Trade? Trading is supposed to be a fun way to spend time, where you get something great in exchange for something great. One day in June the two met and opened up about their opinions. They argued vehemently for hours until both were mad enough to kick a hole in a Graveler. They somehow acquired tanks, built forts, and took to the battlefield, followed by Pokéfans from all over the world. Overview Deathmatch Best hulls, in order from most to least effective: 1. Hornet 2. Wasp 3. Hunter 4. Viking 5. Titan 6. Mammoth 7. Dictator Best turrets, in order from most to least effective: 1. Hammer 2. Railgun 3. Thunder 4. Ricochet 5. Smoky 6. Firebird 7. Vulcan 8. Shaft 9. Twins 10. Freeze 11. Isida Capture the Flag Best equipment to use, based on your role on the team: Flag runner: light hull, especially Hornet, and short-mid range turret, especially Smoky or Hammer. Draft: light hull, especially Wasp, and short range turret, especially Firebird and Isida Flag Guard: heavy hull, especially Mammoth, and a high-damage turret, especially Firebird and Freeze. Rover: light to medium hull, especially Hunter, and mid to long range gun, especially Thunder and Railgun. Best routes to take when taking the flag from: The red team The blue team Control Point Best equipment to use, based on your role on the team: Capturers: light hull, especially Hornet, with mid to long range turret, especially Thunder and Railgun. Guards: medium hull, especially Viking, and short-midrange turret, especially Firebird and Twins. CP mode in Brest is a rare sight in Tankionline. Most choose to play Brest CTF instead, but Control Point mode is just as rewarding. The key to winning here is to resist the urge to camp in one spot. Most players see those two big forts and immediately think “SNIPER TIME!” Do not give in to that urge. Snipers who sit a winning score do not get. Use a light hull and dart from point to point as you do (as you SHOULD) in any other CP battle. Capturing Points A or B The point in your fort is always the easiest to capture, and the point in the other fort is always the hardest. Unless you absolutely must capture that one extra point, I strongly suggest you don’t bother trying to capture the point in the enemy fort. It will be recaptured as soon as you are destroyed, which will happen very quickly, as the enemies’ spawn zones are all around you. Capturing Point C Interestingly, this point is actually the second easiest to capture. You would think that it would be constantly swarmed by tanks since it’s directly in the center of the map, but the majority of players focus on Points D, E, F, and G instead. When you roll up onto the point’s platform, watch for enemies coming from points D or E. They are the only places from which you will have trouble, as both fort approaches are guarded by walls. Capturing Points D or E The most dangerous points on the board (besides the one in the enemy fort), simply because there are so many directions from which an enemy can attack. The biggest threat will be enemies coming from the forts, but don’t forget that they can drop down from the bridge behind you. Keep a sharp watch. Capturing Points F or G Better choices than D or E because your only concerns will be 1.) tanks coming from the road or bridge and 2.) tanks coming from points D or E. For this reason, they are also the most heavily trafficked. Try dropping mines all around these two points before moving on to another point. Locations of the points: Team Deathmatch Best equipment to use is the same list as the Deathmatch list above. Brest is a common haunt for snipers, who love to sit on top of the forts and pelt the other team. No matter the team mode, you will always be dodging sniper fire. As you play, beware of the highlighted areas on the map below, as they are the most common places to get shot: Goldhunting: Find that Drop Zone! NOTE: No matter the map or battle mode, you should always press the DELETE button as soon as you hear the Gold Box siren. You will have ten seconds to dart around, searching for the box’s drop zone. When you respawn, you will likely be dropped in wherever you haven’t already checked, and you will have all your supply cool-downs reset. The three major drop areas for Golds are 1.) in the valley between the forts, 2.) on a road or bridge between the forts, or 3.) in a corner. The corners are the rarest drop spots but, if you see one first, you can almost always get the box because most other players jump into the valley. A tip for duelists: When dueling at Brest, your biggest challenge will be getting a clear shot without having to camp. Many duels here are done by Railguns that sit up on the forts and try to hit each other when not behind cover. These duels can last thirty minutes without a single hit for either player. For such duels, I have no suggestion aside from “don’t play them”. For a genuine duel of skill and wits, duel with short-range turrets like Hammer. You will have to sneak up on the enemy and kill him quickly before he can counterattack. * * * * * * * * That’s it, tankers. Try out the oft-neglected CP mode, watch out for snipers, and get some good Pokémon in Wonder Trade at Brest. Just watch out for Magikarps.

I shall be happy to accommodate your request. And let me be the first to welcome you to the forum.

A Draft is a tank that follows the flag runner closely. If the flag runner is stricken and destroyed, the draft grabs the fallen flag immediately and becomes the new flag runner. A Rover is a tank whose job is to attack and weaken the enemy team so the flag runners and drafts can work safely.

As any experienced player can attest, the tanker’s career is one in which his role is always changing. In some battles, the tanker is a man by himself, firing away at every other tank on the field, trying to stay on top of the leaderboard. In others, the tanker is a flag runner, darting and diving to bring the enemies’ flag home. Of the many different roles that a tanker can choose for himself, the most unpopular role is that of the Pocket Isida. A Pocket Isida is a tank with an Isida turret whose solitary purpose is healing one specific teammate. Rarely does he kill any enemies, and he never captures flags. He is a support vehicle and nothing more. For this reason, most players will shun the idea of regularly filling the role of a Pocket Isida. The job can be boring and unprofitable, as a player could battle for hours and not earn nearly as many crystals as he could if he led the fight and captured stuff. Having played as a Pocket Isida myself in recent battles, I can now say that the role is not as bad as it seems. In fact, if you play smart, you can actually top the leaderboards and rake in the crystals. Here’s how: 1.) Don’t focus on just one player. Pocket Isidas commonly camp next to a Mammoth Vulcan or draft a TDM leader. This will certainly help the player who’s being healed, but the Isida will not get much in return. When you snap that Isida turret onto your hull, zap everyone you pass. Teammates, enemies, pedestrians, zebras, EVERYONE should get a jolt from your laser beam. In doing so, even for half a second at a time, you will be storing points. If you zap an enemy, you will get points for a kill assist, if not a total kill. If you zap a damaged teammate, you will receive at least a few points for healing. But, while you are spraying Isida fire left and right: 2.) Do give special attention to the leader of your team. The leader of your team achieved that position because he is generating lots and lots of points. Therefore, he is likely going to be in the heat of battle and will need healing frequently. Just be sure to touch up the other players as you are tending to him. 3.) Play at big CTFs like Kungur and Serpuhov. Capture the Flag battles are the best battles for Pocket Isidas because they are the ones in which the most points are earned. They have also always tended to accumulate higher battlefunds than the other modes. Visit bigger maps with larger teams because more tanks to zap means more points for you. 4.) Drop mines constantly. Lay another mine as soon as your cooldown allows. You will get at least a kill assist for every enemy that drives over your mine. * * * * * * * * There you have it, folks. Short and sweet article, I know, but that's because being the Pocket Isida is a simple matter. All that is necessary to make it work is for you to give it your best effort.

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Sun Tsu, one of the wisest military minds of the human species, wrote a collection of strategies, advice, and council that we now read in a book entitled The Art of War. In this fascinating book, which I would strongly recommend to anyone, he is quoted as saying “All warfare is based on deception.” This statement is true of any type of war, be it in the pathetic theater of the real world or in the carefree frolics of the virtual and imaginary. Video gaming warriors the world over use the simple art of dishonesty to defeat their opponents, from the grassy battlefields of Pokemon: Omega Ruby to the blasted-out urban arenas of Call of Duty: Black Ops 3. Tankionline is also a great place to trick someone into losing; not by taking advantage of them as people, but by taking advantage of their disadvantage. Below is a list of my favorite battle-bending tips. You will notice that none of them break the rules. As a warrior, you may freely use any necessary means to achieve victory, but as a Tankist, you have a responsibility to obey all the rules of the game and not behave in a manner contrary to them. With that out of the way, here are Tankionline’s most popular devious devices for dominating the game: 1.) In Deathmatch, ask a broad question and kill the tankers who stop to respond. I learned this the first day I played. You can’t control your tank when you are typing in the battle chat box, which makes you a sitting duck for marauding enemies. Use that weakness to your advantage by asking a question that will start a distracting discussion (my favorite is “which is the best turret?”). Lots of other tanks will screech to a halt and sit there, ready to be butchered. 2.) Use a repair right before your enemy runs out of reload or before you die, whichever comes first. So imagine that you are being besieged by a tank wielding a Firebird. The flames are steadily melting your armor, and in mere seconds, your poor tank will explode. What to do? Your Twins’ constant pummeling is not going to kill the enemy before you are killed. Watch your health bar carefully, even if it means you have to stop firing your turret so you can concentrate. Just before it hits zero, mash the 1 key. You will be completely revived, and you will often find yourself in the particularly interesting situation where your flustered enemy has no reload left to shoot with, and you have no damage to show for it. When this happens, put a brick on the space bar, sit back, and watch as the antagonist flees. 3.) Lay mines on drop zones. This tip is so good, it has been featured in a v-log and in Night-Sister’s unquestionably authoritative article “The Pathological Miner”. Drop a bomb on a landing spot and, provided you don’t die too quickly, the next enemy to take a supply from that spot will get a good look at the moon as they tumble past it. 4.) Lie when they ask “was gold?” The second most ridiculous misuse of the battle chat box can also be a game-changing opportunity if you play it right. This question is asked by wandering tankers who drop into your battle with the sole desire to nab a Gold Bil. His logic is “If it hasn’t dropped, then it will soon. If it has dropped, then it won’t soon.” If the tanker who asked the question is your enemy, respond “yes, it just did.” He will leave immediately in search of a different battle. This will leave your enemy shorthanded and under pressure to make one tank fight like two. Your team will have a number advantage. If the tanker who asked is your ally, respond “no, not yet” or “no but probably will soon.” The ally will stay to see if a Gold Box does indeed drop, and you will have one extra teammate to help out. 5.) Organize a pack of Mammoth Isidas and haunt a CTF map. One of the best ways to hoard experience points and crystals while doing pretty much nothing is to call together a wolfpack of indestructible Isidas. The Tanki community is packed with friend-material, so if you try, you can do this easily. After you have a gaggle of friends with heavy hulls (mammoth works best) and Isida turrets, find a good CTF map and join on the same team. Island is a perfect map to attack, and Sandbox is a great place to bewilder the local Hornet Railguns. Have at least two of your team members camp upon the flag post while the others push for the enemy base. Skilled Mammoth Isidas are extremely hard to kill, especially in groups, which means you and your main marvins will have a smashing time looting battlefunds. 6.) Drop a mine if you flip over in a high-traffic area. I just can’t tell you how funny this is. Tankers who see a helpless opponent on his back, spinning his tracks in the air, will almost always jump at the chance for an easy kill. In their enthusiasm, they will often ram the flipped tank and push them across the ground as they pump lead into them. If this happens to you, press the 5 button. A mine will drop and your enemy will run right over it, destroying them and compensating for the loss of a kill when you self-destruct a few seconds later. * * * * * * * * Every tanker who plays the game develops his own unique strategy for beating the enemies and leading his team to victory. Such strategies are usually pretty basic and straightforward, but every now and then, one may think outside the box and come up with a sneaky trick to boost performance. Do you have a sneaky tip to share? Feel free to tell us, but be prepared to face the possibility that it will be used against you. ;)

Exactly. Might be better to rename the topic something fun, like "A video of a bunch of people sitting at the bottom of a windmill at 1:27 in the afternoon" or one similar to that. Properly capitalized, of course. :D

What I said was... 0.

As the holidays draw nearer, we are again reminded of the importance of family and the role it plays in shaping how we live and how happily we live. For many, family is a prized possession; for others, it’s the only possession. With that being said, I offer the last piece of the Warphare series, complete with a family message and a happy ending. * * * * * * * * “How does this bow look, Mommy?” Dottie proudly displayed the red bow for her mother to see. Carol smiled and patted her head as she took the bow. “It looks perfect, sweetie! You tied it very well- here’s some tape to stick it on with.” Dottie accepted the piece of tape and folded it over itself, just as her mother had shown her how to do, and fastened the bow to the gift. “There, now go put it under the tree.” The little girl struggled to her feet and carefully lifted the gift so as not to crumple the wrapping. Under the Christmas tree it went with all the other gifts. Dottie stood by the tree for a moment, admiring all the bows she had tied for the other gifts. A look of concern crossed her face, and she turned to her Carol. “Mommy, won’t the bows get torn when Daddy opens the presents?” “Yes, Dottie, they will….” Dottie’s face fell. “… But it will be alright. We always feel a little sad when something beautiful is broken, but then we can make another one that is just as beautiful.” She held up a roll of wrapping paper for her daughter to see. “How about we use this one?” Dottie nodded enthusiastically. The paper had a candy cane design! She loved candy canes. RIING. Carol’s answered her ringing cell phone. “Hello?” She listened for a moment, then got up and left the room. Dottie grinned. That meant Daddy was at the store shopping for gifts, and Mommy didn’t want her to hear which ones they were discussing. She plopped down where Carol had been sitting and surveyed the mess they had made of the livingroom. In the middle of the gift-wrapping materials was a large pair of steel scissors, silver-colored and as sharp as can be. Dottie picked them up and examined them. Mommy had always done the cutting while she had done the taping and bow-tying. Maybe she could cut the next piece of wrapping paper…. Carol walked back in and saw her opening and closing the scissors idly. “Dottie, put those down. They are dangerous!” Maybe she wouldn’t cut the next piece, then. “How are they dangerous?” she asked as she put them back on the floor. “They are very sharp and could cut you if you aren’t careful.” Dottie thought about that for a moment. She’d have to be pretty silly to put her arm between the blades and clamp them down. But then again… “Mommy, could a pair of scissors accidentally kill me?” Carol’s face paled. She pretended not to hear and handed Dottie another ribbon to tie. “Here, tie a big one for Daddy.” * * * * * When the last present had been wrapped and put under the tree, Carol took Dottie outside to play in the snow. The family’s suburban backyard wasn’t very big, but it was perfect for making snow angels and making snowballs to throw at each other. “Don’t go too close to the street, sweetie.” Carol called from the front door. Dottie stood up from another snow angel. “Why are you going back inside?” Carol held up the phone. Dottie grinned again. Gosh, they must be getting lots of gifts this year! “Hey Dottie!” She looked across the street. Her friend Missy was waving from the next yard, standing next to the snowman she was making. “Hi Missy!” Dottie started running over to her friend. She stumbled a little when she jumped down from the sidewalk-. HOOOOOOOOOOONK! SCREAM. THUD. * * * * * Three nights later, Dottie shuffled up the steps to the front door. She stared at the door, straining to get it to move. Finally, after a minute of concentration, it creaked and swung open. Getting the hang of manipulating physical matter had been tough. The Christmas tree was not lit. Why had they left it off tonight? She tiptoed into the dining room, her transparent feet barely even grazing the floor. There really was no need to tiptoe, but she had always done so in the past when she snuck to the fridge in the middle of the night. It was just a habit. Her mother’s door was shut. Great! Another freaking obstacle! At last, there was her mother’s bed. Dottie floated over to it. Carol was awake and staring off into space, tears streaming down onto the pillow. Crumpled tissues filled the garbage can and littered the floor. Dottie’s eyes burned. Oh, if only she could still cry. She hated to see her mother so sad! She had kissed that face a million times, pressed her cheek to it, fallen asleep under its gaze… and now it was broken and mourning. “Don’t cry, mommy.” Dottie said, though she knew her mother could not hear. “We’ll be together again.” She turned and opened the middle drawer of the dresser, where Mommy kept the scissors. Hold your family close. Tomorrow, you may not have them. Also in the Warphare series: Psychological Interpersonal Internal Practical

Heh heh heh... 0.