BLASTER872's Creativity

BLASTER872 · July 26, 2016

Welcome to my Creativity topic. I will be posting all of my writing here, in reverse chronological order (that's newest - oldest for you people who can't use google), and some collaborative projects too! I'll also be putting stuff that I'm not sure I want in the Amateur Writing Club or just stuff I want to keep to my own personal creativity page. IF I ever get interested in Digital Art this is where I'll be posting stuff.

Welp, I guess no more spamming the "Your Creativity" section with nooby topics anymore!

All my writing is spam ._.

Writing Section:

My writing that is not in this topic:

Written on December 25th, 2016

Game Discussion Article

How Tanki Can Make More Money

Written on October 22nd, 2016

Amateur Writing Club Article

How to Avoid Noobs

Written on October 19th, 2016

Amateur Writing Club Article

Update Overview || Alterations

Written on September 31st, 2016

Amateur Writing Club Article

Black Hole

Written on 13th of September, 2016

Amateur Writing Club Article

Upfall || Doors and Slammers

Written on 31st of August, 2016

Amateur Writing Club Article

Upfall || Splattered

Written on 26th of August, 2016

Amateur Writing Club Article

Upfall || United in Death

Written on 24th of August, 2016

Amateur Writing Club Article

Upfall || Man of Destruction

Written on 19th of August, 2016

Amateur Writing Club Article

How to Join the Noob Army

Written on 18th of August, 2016

Personal Writing Project

3rd Volume of 872 Newspaper

Written on 12th of August, 2016

Amateur Writing Club Article

Exclusive Interview With Myself!

Written on 11th of August, 2016

Personal Writing Project

2nd Volume of 872's Newspaper

Written on 8th of August, 2016

Amateur Writing Club Article

How to Avoid Scammers

Written on 3rd of August, 2016

Amatuer Writing Club Collaboration

D4T and B872's Opinion: Gold Box Supply

Written on 2nd of August, 2016

Personal Writing Project

1st Volume of 872's Newspaper

Written on 31st of July, 2016

Amateur Writing Club Article

5 More Types Of Noobs

Started on 26th of July, 2016 - Still going!

Personal Writing Project

Rants || A Series of Complaints

Written on 21st of July, 2016

Amateur Writing Club Article

Buyers Save Tanki

Written on 17th of July, 2016

Amateur Writing Club Article

Update Overview || Paint Separation Update

Written on 11th of July, 2016

Amateur Writing Club Article

4 Mini-Guides to Tanki Online

Written on 7th of July, 2016

Amateur Writing Club Article

5 Types of Annoying Noobs

Started 13th of April 2016 - Ended 23rd of June 2016

Collaborative Project

Clan Advice Column

Creativity Page Writing:

This is where I put my stuff that is not anywhere else on the forum.

Rants || A Series of Complaints

Info || What you need to know

This is a series of me finding all the negatives of updates, life, Tanki, video games, kits, and you readers, and ranting on them. It's just meant as a joke, so don't take me too seriously, though I may, if accidentally, mention a valid point. If you're a sensitive person who doesn't want their favorite MMO game insulted pls leave. File out with the Ctrl + W shortcut, cuz it'll help you get away quicker. Or just turn your PC off.

I hope you enjoy!

Also, I've got very good reason for not posting this to the AWC. These works are more immature and amateur (too amateur for AWC, you people who say the "A" stands for Amatuer") and I only want my elite content, that has been reviewed by me and some of my peers - you know who you are, xD - that pass an inspection (and get ruined in the process, blame the NS -- wait, tweezers also has been editing my content) to go in the AWC.

Episode 1 || Master Sergeant Chat

Hey, for anyone who doesn't know me yet, I'm BLASTER872, a mult who feels the need to introduce himself in a new series. Anyways, I'll be ranting about stuff. What will I rant about first? The ~~not-so~~ recent update, which affected anyone ranks Recruit - Staff Sergeant, which prevented anyone below Master Sergeant from chatting.

They claim they did this "to reduce higher ranks verbally abusing lower ranks due to their inexperience in TO, and hackers using alt accounts" in TO. Yeah, yeah, deal with the harmful minority, whatever. Right, that's some problems pretty rarely experienced in Tanki Online! What's the bigger problem experienced? You're going to be having Warrant Officer 1 players as NOOBS now, and people with slight experience will be Third Lieutenants! Now you have created a harmful majority in the lower ranks -- noobs.

For anyone who has met me on the battlefield, you probably know how deadly my Minotaur Kit is. Why did I buy it? I asked some Brigadier players for advice in the Lieutenant ranks. Their advice? Since Polygon CP was so great for farming, they advised I go for some heavy, quick DMG weapons. What kits did they suggest? Namely, Firewall and Minotaur, though I did get a few suggestions for Pitbull and Boar kit.

You can unlock 4 M1 kits at Sergeant. Yup, Sergeant. They are Vampire, Keeper, Savage, and Firefly. In my opinion Keeper is the best of them. However, you will and still do have noobs Micro Upgrading and Speeding Up M0 gear! No joke. Why would you do that? If they had someone experienced, such as let's say, a Sergeant Major to give them some tips, that'd be AWESOME. Not only would they learn to save for one of the 4 M1 kits, they'd know which one to save for, to suit their playing style! Buyers are on an even footing with people who save smart ~~and they deserve to have more, read Buyers save Tanki noob~~, but how will they save smart without someone to advise them?

And does it even stop hackers from hacking at all?

If you've kept up with the community ~~which I hope for your sake you have~~, you'll know there was a scammer named who stole tons of accounts. And he was Master Corporal. Wait, he was below Master Sergeant? And stole tons of accounts? They didn't restrict the forums to Master Sergeant! You geniuses, what's the use of stopping them from chatting in-game when they can in the forums?

#RantComplete

Slowly, the developer's arguments for bad updates are getting worse. There is a big @Contradiction ~~no kill pls contra it was just a joke~~ in the developers' reasoning for these updates.

Episode 2 || Scammers

Let's see, have you ever logged on to your account before and =o Oh my god, why have I got 1M less crystals? Do you think it could be because... you were "smart" enough to give your password to an illegitimate site? However, there are clever scammers out there. There's a skrub who scammed my friend @Emperior2 and gave lots of people fake links. I... pressed it... and logged into a fake forum. However, I was seeing lots of "scammer" posts and as nobody logged into my account, I think it meant he didn't have time to scam me (as he was on @Emperior2) and guess what? I changed my password. They probably used something to verify if the password was real without knowing their password, with the fake forum. When they tried to login to my account they got rekt :D

Anyway, enough with that. I just wonder HOW do you people believe that people will give you 1M crystals? Oh, and they'll "just do it" if you give them your password! If you want people to give you hacks, you deserve to lose your account! Why do you people keep believing them? WHY DOESN'T TANKI PUNISH YOU AS WELL? And, why doesn't Tanki try to stop these misconceptions?

Simple. They have no money, because they have no support. Exactly why the paint separation update exists, I wonder... And can they PLEASE stop being greedy? Anyway, they have no money, and campaigns to spread information cost money.

#RantComplete

This is misinformative. The whole point is it's a joke. I don't personally agree with anything negative I said about TO. So you lost your excuse to ban me :ph34r:

Episode 3 || Stop Blaming Mods

When an update that people don't like shows up (yes, I do not deny there has been a few pointless updates), here's the same response from the community:

"I can't trust devs with this bad update. They used to be doing things right but now everything is going downhill, prioritize. The moderators are also very bad, why would they allow this update to happen?"

No, you CANNOT assign the blame to moderators. They know so little about the updates before it is actually released. A lot of questions have the same answer: "I don't know." It is not the moderator's fault.

Then, do we blame the admins? No, they pretty much have the same power as moderators regarding updates, which is the same as our power as a community: None. Then, we have ~~dictator~~ CM Cedric Debono. He is doing an awesome job communicating with the community and knows some answers. However, he has a minimal impression on updates.

Do we blame the developers?

Don't blame the developers. We shouldn't assign blame to people. Developers do not take us as a community seriously because we do not take them seriously. "Noob developer" is not the right answer. That is the only reason they do not take us as seriously as they used to, and quite frankly, they should. It is all our faults -- or rather, nobody's fault, altogether. Stop giving blame. Start giving respect -- and above all, remember, they are the ones who programmed the game we enjoy in the first place.

#RantComplete

Episode 4 || "Education" Program

Hey all! I did say I'd rant about life sooner or later aaand...

Here I am! The little bit of education I received was insignificant. First of all, all the school supporting parents have kept saying "school is social even if u dont learn"

Well that's a surprise! Didn't know sitting in a desk, rotting your brain, not talking for 45 minutes at a time is called social! And school isn't educational either! Drawing stuff doesn't help everybody learn! How does drawing a stupid "cover page" help? All I see is people remembering how boring it was or the drawings, not the FACTS! And I had no idea that you needed to learn grammar to be a.. carpenter! Now we don't have choices on what to take! I do NOT care about grammar, since when does not knowing how to form a sentence injure your ability to simulate? The only thing I can't do is simulate a nerd k, and I don't need to.

#RantComplete

When you could be spending time learning what'd actually help and at your own pace instead of the perpetual boredom that eventually overwhelmed me and had me decide to drop out of high school. I am successful because my colleagues see my skill, and I don't need a degree to prove I can make a better simulation then people who wasted their time completing school. You can be successful no matter what, you do not need the low quality education that is offered.

And I know, some countries are not this bad, but I went to America's education program and went to America's school. It's like counting sticks!

Episode 5 || Humanity Sucks

I get it, this isn't a popular opinion, but we do suck ok. So take it.

Humanity. Some - not most, and certainly not all, but enough for dire consequences - are despicable, abominable, [insert-hate-speech here] creatures! How dare we call ourselves the "most intelligent creatures alive"! Our so-called intelligence resulted in polluted environment, and a generally crappy society.

Now, I'm no big "go outside and clean up after noobs who dropped their Dorito Bag and plant 20 trees by afternoon" person. I'm more the "sit on couch eat potato chips while typing rant" person. However, the few times I go outside, there are layers and layers of trash everywhere. Snack bags, plastic bottle caps (which I legit have a phobia of when they are not screwed on, same with toothpaste caps) and whatever else there is to be found. The average couch potato (chip) just throws his trash on the ground cuz he's too lazy to get out of the couch or whatever he's sitting on and WALK 5 STEPS and throw it in the damn trash can! And after that, we have some idiots who can think this shallow: "It's not my damn mess so I won't clean it up!" Well, you trash (liked that pun?), THERE WON'T BE ANYTHING WE CAN CLEANUP AT THIS RATE AND THERE WON'T BE AN EARTH TO CLEANUP! If nobody cleans up their own mess, Planet Earth would've been gone a long time ago.

Without getting into details, here's politics: "Humiliate everyone else so I can be the corrupt President or whatever else." Unlike last time, I'm not a hypocritical [censored] who laughs at people who are not as fortunate (or maybe as able as I am). I'd rather give my mega jumbo hyper beam hamburger (cheeseburgers suck) to someone who needs it more than I do. Plus, that's like 5 hours less of exercise to do. People refusing to help their own species, deliberately trying to sabotage another business and ruin hundreds or even thousands of people in said company for 1% more profit or whatever, and I saved ~~worst~~ best for last -- Harassers. I can name people who've harassed another person in any way -- on the internet, by mail (legit mail not email), in their wedding cake or whatever, et cetera, and they can cause suicide. They do something worse -- They make people doubt themselves. If you think you can't you know you can't. If you know you can't you can't. So yeah, if we survive the way we've been treating our planet, we won't survive from each other and our society. Nor politicians.

#RantComplete

This is no persuasive speech for you to "pass on". Just don't be a loser.

Upfall || A Story

Upfall || Man of Destruction

California, October 12th, 3004, 10 AM PST

"I've been teaching for more than 250 years here. Life is repetitive, teach the same thing today, every class that comes in these doors. Every year, teaching as a 9th grade history teacher. I am sad to announce... my resignation.

From immortality."

This was met with an uproar. "You.. you're applying for mortality??" "This can't be! You're my favorite teacher here!"

The teacher replied, "Perhaps you may do the same thing when you are old. I have been on the earth for 300 years... I have left the mark I wanted to leave. Hopefully my replacement is young, full of hope... The way you should be."

With a grim look of acceptance, Ryan Johnson asked, "When will we find a replacement?"

"Tomorrow. The day . . . that I go on a journey."

California, 5 PM PST

"Are you ready for mortality? How much more time do you need?"

"I'm prepared. . ."

"You are aware of the pain of the process?"

"I hope not to feel it for too long. Besides, the pain pf living longer than you should is far worse."

"Firing on the count of 3... 3, 2, 1 --"

The teacher, Mr. Paul, stabbed the doctor, and used him as a shield from the ray. The doctor's face became disfigured, and soon after his insides were melting. Mr. Paul left the room alive, putting on the doctor's clothes and morphing his face into that of the late doctor. The doctor's corpse was beyond recognition, so it was assumed as a normal mortality conversion.

Soon after, news that a well-known doctor who discovered immortality had quit the hospital -- the one he worked in for 250 years.

Upfall || United In Death

Unknown, October 12th, 3004, 6 PM PDT

Dr. Morton, the late doctor, woke up to find himself on white tiles. Tiles not warm nor cold, not colored nor colorless, not rough or smooth, simply, for everything to exist upon. There were buildings surrounding the place, but beyond that was a ton of fog. Fog that didn't mean anything, just something to form upon.

With a groan, Dr. Morton asked, "Where am I?"

"Where? Not where... what are you?"

"Well, then, what am I?"

"The spiritual remains of one who is dead. Do you not remember?"

"Of course... that wretched Mr. Paul will pay for it...

With a deep sigh, the one he asked replied, "You'll find that hard. Not many choose to die. Half here didn't even choose to die. They were murdered, the same way as you were. These are lethal weapons of destruction you have created. He is right... those living have lived too long."

"Well, what about those who are here?"

"As you very well know, there are 4 ways to convert to mortality. First of all, the injection. Second, the pill. Third, the laser beam. The only one that you could feasibly murder someone with, as Mr. Paul demonstrated. And finally," he continued with a fearful look and a shiver, "The Removal."

"I... know? Weren't there only... hold on... let me think... Oh yes, I did know! I am recollecting the details of The Removal."

"Well, they who have not moved on yet say that the dead know everything. Of course, they're right."

California, October 15th, 9 AM PDT

"Hello, I am the new teacher for 9th grade history class, Mr. Steve. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me."

"I have a question: What happened to Mr. Paul?" asked Ryan. This was met with mutters of, "Mr. Paul?", "Who is Mr. Paul?", "What Mr. Paul?" and such.

"How...", Mr. Steve began. "How is it that... I thought I was Removed. At least I should've been. Very well, you leave me with no choice."

"I? What do you mean --"

"See you tomorrow," taunted Mr. Steve with a sly grin. "Or not."

Upfall || Splattered

California, October 15th, 7 PM PDT

Blood. Blood, splattered everywhere. 37 dead kids. This was as the parents feared -- now, they knew the cause of the kids not arriving home.

"Weren't there 38 in this class?" asked the inspector.

"Yes, there were 38." replied the principal. With a groan, a body started slowing stirring up and feebly mumbling.

"ZOOOMBIEE!!" yelled the principal.

"Relax, while immortality is a reality, zombies still are not," laughed the inspector.

Ryan asked, "Where's the zombie?"

In wonder, the principal asked, "How... How did you survive?"

"Simply because I recently became immortal."

"You know, I bet Mr. Paul wasn't expecting that..." said the inspector.

"Mr. Paul?!" cried Ryan and the principal in unison.

"That's right..."

California, October 16th, 6 PM PDT

"And, we speculate that mass murderer Gary Paul has murdered both the esteemed Dr. Morton and 37 children who have not yet received immortality. Anyone with information should immediately contact the authoriti --"

Gary Paul, otherwise known as the alias of Joseph Steven, began maniacally laughing. Did they seriously think such a weak police squad could touch such a man as brilliant as himself? The prospect of capture was inconceivable and simply unacceptable to such a brilliant criminal mastermind such as himself. He had already planned out a masterful plan to send everyone to the realm of death, including himself, all the animals in the world, the plants... He planned to eradicate life as we knew it and transfer everyone to death. Yes, you could come back from death... However, the fool Ryan Johnson had messed up his plans, as his black eye and broken arm proved. He had to destroy him at any cost... for he was the smartest person Gary knew.

California, October 17th, 10 AM PDT

"Attention, please! Ryan, be quiet now. Thank you very much. Alright, I think you have all heard of the murders of our 9th Grade History teacher, known as Gary Paul or Joseph Steven. As you know, we are very sorry for this loss. We are closing down the school temporarily to prepare our immortality center, since our lone survivor, Ryan Johnson, survived due to the fact he applied for immortality at such a young and unexpected age. Immortality is mandatory for this school district now."

"Not that kid again..." whispered Gary Paul.

Upfall || Doors and Slammers

California, October 17th, 10 AM PDT

"Arrest him! It's him! Quick, before he escapes!" A squadron of official-looking men seize the criminal Gary.

"How... dare you..." stuttered the criminal. "Ryan, I swear... I will get you back for this!"

"Don't forget, we're the ones with the guns!" The police began laughing at how easy it was to capture and defeat their adversary. After hauling him into the car, they began to interrogate him.

"Why the hell did you think it was a good idea to murder 37 children?"

"Because I had nothing else to do, besides, they'd blow my cover, just like that kid who seized me. Imagine, if one damn kid could get me captured, what could 37 more do?"

"Well, in the slammer you go. Your trial will commence in 21 days."

Oregon, October 18th, 2 AM PDT

"Why did all the jails in California have to close? Geez, why not some other state instead? We've got a mass murderer around who's going to kill everyone if he gets let loose!" complained the officers.

"Well, shut the hell up, or you're going to drive another damn state for your prisoner! I'm the chief officer of the Oregon Police Forces, so mind who you're talking to, lad." grunted the 'chief officer of the Oregon Police Forces'.

"Fine. Just throw him in the slammer, please. I'd really appreciated not driving another state to contain this remorseless madman. Put him in the A Block in the Murderer Section."

In futuristic United States, the way prisons worked was that each prison had 4 sections. First off, there is the Minor Offenses Section, which is for minor robberies, and other minor offenses such as kidnappings which resulted in the kidnapper surrendering the victim back. Secondly, there is the Terrorist Section, which is the section for holding terrorists. Next, there's an often deserted section where extra prisoners are kept when mass criminals are caught, or when a crime wave ends, called the Prisoners of War Section. If you actually were a prisoner of war, this place would be tidied up to be a lot nicer, but fortunately the last time that section was used was 64 years ago. Finally, we have Gary's section, the Murderer Section. Self-explanatory, this section is where murderers and people who attempted murder would reside. In each section, there are four Blocks, A, B, C, and D, although A has often been nicknamed by the guards and prisoners to be H, for "Hell". Block D was probably too good for a prison, Block C had adequate conditions, Block B was for the bad people who needed to think about what they did, and nobody deserved Block H, except for the people who've done so bad things that they deserve to go in hell, such as Gary.

Gary was hurled straight into the slammer.

Oregon, November 8th, 11 AM PDT

"The evidence that we have received from the defending party leaves the verdict... Not Guilty by reason of insanity!" Gary smirked, because he knew that he wasn't insane. So did everyone else, Gary would've thought, for this was too easy. There must be something behind this all! However, when he was lead by his guards out the door with his hands free, legs free, no more obligation to the prison except a mandatory 7 day mental clinic, he walked straight out the door. The guards said, "Have fun," and slammed the door tight and locked it.

Well, there's nothing more to it, Gary thought. He walked straight ahead for the trees, ready to walk away from this -- "Ouch! It hurts, it hurts, it hurts..." There was a mirror planted straight ahead! So he was deceived, after all. He turned to the right, to the left, he tried escaping the maze in every direction, but he just couldn't. Tired, out of breath, he begged for a way to go back to Block A. "Please, return me to Block A, I give up!"

A voice that seemed to come from everywhere replied, "You really do give up..." And a penetrating scream filled the air. Gary Paul had been murdered.

"May all who sinned and all those who will sin meet the same fate as Gary Paul!"

Upfall || Ends and Beginnings

Unknown, November 11th, 12 PM

Why did these children die?

Is it not obvious?

They possessed a deadly secret.

A secret that could destroy my world.

One that could destroy yours.

They possessed my secret.

They were taken care of.

All except for one.

He didn't do a good enough job.

The child still survives.

Even if he is not aware of it, he knows he possesses my secret.

He could destroy you.

I had to go, and so did these children.

For the best of the world.

Oregon, 1 PM

"The fool's spirit has been permanently contained inside the Realm of the Dead. Unfortunately..." the chief's voice trails off, "The children have no way to return."

"Is that so, Boss?" asked one of the employees, "That's unfortunate."

"Yes. Luckily, Johnathan has done a great job of containing and disposing of the criminal."

"Thanks, Boss," Johnathan speaks.

"Sir! Sir! The children are returning!" exclaims a researcher.

"With whom?" inquires the chief.

"With," the researcher chokes, "Gary."

The Realm of the Dead, 1 PM

It was so easy, Gary thought. The man who killed me attempted to close the loophole I used. But he didn't even close the RIGHT loophole. Now I got an army of brainwashed children, thanks to him, and now I can use that to my advantage.

A man dressed in white robes blocks Gary's path.

"You have used these children," declares the man. "Only your victims may leave."

Oh crap, he knows! Gary pulls out a gun and begins shooting the man.

The old man blows the bullets and suddenly, the bullets fly right into Gary's head. His head excretes a slimy liquid that's green. It resembles slime, but is a lot stickier and a lot greener. He stomps on the ground and jagged rocks surround him.

"Enjoy yourself, Gary." he taunts.

How to Create an AWC Article (Got rejected as AWS has lots of plagiarism. I understand, but I won't respond favorably to your no-kill!11!)

How to create an Article in the AWC

Are you jealous of my beautiful articles ~~that didn't get me in the AWC :(~~ that made me look awesome ~~even though I'm not~~ and built me my OP reputation? You want to get in the AWC ~~unlike me~~ and get crystals? Well, I'm here to tell you how to write a "stunning article" that'll have people awed!

Disclaimer: The author will not be held liable for decline of reputation, bad articles, or anything like the aforementioned. He'll gladly take credit if, by a miracle, the impossibility of you succeeding happens. So yeah, dibs on any good articles you write in the future.

Finding A Subject

So, what do you want to write about? Find something! Well, if you have an idea, go with it! But, you being you, you probably have no idea! And I'm catering to the majority (AKA the people who can't write) so if you pro writer this does not apply. Seriously, I don't want to ~~ruin~~ change your writing style :P How do you find one? Duh, you look through OLD - old is essential - OLD articles that have topics still relevant. So yeah, you "borrow" their idea!

Example:

Write an article on 5 Types of Noobs. (hidden reference nugs)

The Actual Article

Now, you wonder, as you have a topic, what are you going to put inside it? As detective @GoldRock is very good, with his ~~assistants~~ minions, the reporters, at finding plagiarized content, you can't COPY an article and get away with it! Obviously, you have to make some major changes! Here, we've got a little text sample of some little noob's writing that we're going to evilly steal without GoldRock detecting the change!

Example:

5. Goldies

Annoyance rating: 3/5

Found: Everywhere, from ~~Gerfrieters~~ Master Sergeants - Generalissimos.

Probably the least harmless of the bunch, the standard "Gold was?", or, "Gold pls?" noob annoys you. They are the type of noob who is misled and believes that Admins drop gold. Your annoyance towards them is shared but they do no physical harm to you or your gameplay. (Unless you're the type of person who smashed your keyboard because you lost a duel.)

Look at that PRO writing! We just need to change it up a bit!

The text in the strike-through is irrelevant ~~as is the rest :ph34r:~~ and that can be removed. Why do we need the parenthesis anyway? We can remove those. Now, we can change the color a little and this noob will be so annoyed!1!

Here is the FINAL result!

5. Goldies

Annoyance rating: 3/5

Found: Everywhere, from Master Sergeants - Generalissimos.

Probably the least harmless of the bunch, the standard "Gold was?", or, "Gold pls?" noob annoys you. They are the type of noob who is misled and believes that Admins drop gold. Your annoyance towards them is shared but they do no physical harm to you or your gameplay. Unless you're the type of person who smashed your keyboard because you lost a duel.

Oh my goodness, what a genius idea! The original owner does NOT want to claim he wrote this great article in PINK, so no accusations of plagiarization will come! Now, cross your fingers, and prepare for a load of praises!

Until I wreck your face when I found out you stole my article.

Art Section:

Digital Art:

Inspect Element:

Edited December 25, 2016 by BLASTER872

F1ASC0 · July 26, 2016

Good luck!! :d

BLASTER872 · July 26, 2016

Rants is coming out soon. First episode is being written.

Fisco and DDOS, it will NOT be saved in a PM to you two as this is not AWC appropriate content

Mainly because it's just me complaining

BLASTER872 · July 26, 2016

The page looks a lot better this way :D

Anyway, Episode 1 of Rants is coming.

BLASTER872 · July 27, 2016

Episode 1 of Rants is out. There will be a delay in tomorrow's episode as I was banned -.-

rodman1 · July 27, 2016

Gud Luck! ;)

gabriele02 · July 27, 2016

Good Luck!

My fave "5 Types of annoying noobs" :lol:

DageLV · July 27, 2016

bull.....

BLASTER872 · July 28, 2016

Good Luck!

My fave "5 Types of annoying noobs" :lol:

xD thanks! My favorite is "Update Overview || Paint Separation Update"

Anyway, expect another episode of Rants today, #RantCompete means I win gg pls no argue anymore.

I'll also be starting a comic, basically a BUNCH of small screenshots arranged with some text.

E.g.

In a Poly CP where someone is pushing someone else (DM)

Railgun + Hornet guy: "Pls no push me"

Titan + Twins guy: "2 bad 4 u"

Railgun + Hornet guy: "I will get ravenge"

Titan + Twins guy: "n0 u wonT"

Railgun + Hornet guy: *360 no-scopes*

Titan + Twins guy: *cris*

Anyway, I'll be starting my comic series as soon as I got some helpers. PM me if you are interested in taking screenshots ~~where I get to push YOU off the edge for my amusement~~ where we create a comic for everyone who is fanboi of me to enjoy.

BLASTER872 · July 28, 2016

Entire Episode 2 of "Rants" died. I cri.

Though TBH this is some of my worse writing. let me wreck my PC in peace.

I'll be writing some professional stuff. Or playing Tanki. Idk.

BLASTER872 · July 30, 2016

New creativity writing out!

It's not "Rants"

Rants will come out soon. Later today or tomorrow.

asdasemm · July 31, 2016

Where are the drawings?

BLASTER872 · August 1, 2016

Where are the drawings?

The drawings? I'm putting it as a precaution; not interested in drawings yet but if the reply section emits an interest I will be giving it a go ;)

http://en.tankiforum.com/index.php?showtopic=330292 my new article OMG OMG OMG

BLASTER872 · August 2, 2016

Collab coming soon, Darren4Turbo + Me

about gold box supply, the most pro way to interview someone xD

Interviewed Mafioso and planning to interview Yisroel (yes, you, 2 of my articles in a row ok nug)

BLASTER872 · August 2, 2016

Anyway I'll be writing in a newspaper/magazine sort of thing from now. Will publish 2 times a month (estimate. I don't really know!)

Here's what I'm planning:

Main Article's Name

Headline

Text wall

Rants Episode

Text wall

Sentiments

Text wall

Question Of The Week

Text wall.

More details coming soon. Each, um, "volume" will be published with this format. Anyway, here's some main info:

- Main Article is the ONLY THING going in AWC.

- Rants Episode is going in the "Rants" section as well.

- Sentiments will only be here. That's kinda sentimental xD

- QOTW is a question I ask, not like QOTW of tanki online, I'll try to ask opinionated stuff, or stuff with "no right answer". My favorite answers will be included in next volume! (So pls answer)

- These will be posted as replies to the topic, links will be included to each one!

Edited August 2, 2016 by BLASTER872

BLASTER872 · August 2, 2016

Main Article

Since the announcement on June 29th, 2016, I saw that two of my articles got on the "Best of Amateur Writing [Round 3]" (one of which were merely an honorable mention). My other article, "5 Types Of Annoying Noobs", scraped Number 5. Since it reached Number 5, and that I've also got a LOT more types of noobs, I hope you enjoy this one as much as the last one!

5. Goldies

Annoyance Rating: 4/5

Found: Everywhere, except for organized events and private battles (hopefully, if I'm not here to troll you!1!)

I know you're thinking, "You already covered this mult!" However, with the recent update, you have the gold box supply. Now, players (and admins :ph34r:) can drop golds. If you've got good equipment, or even half-decent equipment (since these guys probably have all M0s), they'll think you're a buyer. Don't even ask me how many "gold pls blaster buyer" requests I've got!

Example:

4. Noobsucators

Annoyance Rating: 5/5

Found: When someone presses "2, 3, & 4" in a PRO battle.

"Noob drugger!" I hear a lot of people cry. OK, I drug a ~~lot~~ bit, but is it necessary to tell me to leave because I used... uh... 666 repair kits?? Is it?? I saved these drugs up by buying kits! Doing mission chains! (The most reliable form of being BLASTER the drugger) What infuriates me more is players attacking buyers. F2P players do balance economy, but buyers... save Tanki.

Example:

3. No kill

Annoyance Rating: 3/5

Found: When a gold drops.

When the iconic gold box siren sounds, your heart beats faster. You, who normally doesn't drug, presses '2, 3, 4, & 5" for good measure. You frantically try to find the gold. Meanwhile, in the chat, you've got people saying, "no kill". Seriously? Try to find the gold! Killing is an important aspect of gold hunting! Kill when you need to, and you'll need to. At least you'll have one less competitor.

Example:

2. Scammers

Annoyance Rating: 5/5

Found: Almost everywhere.

"Do you want to get 1 billion crystals?" Yeah, I do too. However, you shouldn't trust whoever is saying this unless they're a person you know and trust. However, this is no guide on how to avoid scammers - oh wait, what a good idea, I know what my next article will be - and I'm not telling you how to. Nevertheless, it's always annoying when they say, "give me your password, trust me, i'll just do it". When I tell them, "hhhh nobody believes you boi tryhard", they respond with a, "your loss anyway". Yeah, I'll lose my account if I tell you my pass :c

Example:

1. Tweezers

Annoyance Rating: 0/5

Found: In the Amateur Writing Club or in the Tanki Online Newspaper. Can also be found in battles.

OK, I got lazy, and tweezers called me mult for not including him, so here you go tweezers, happy now? Please no kill nug. You killed me? Give me a few minutes... *returns with fully MUed M3 gear, joins tweezer's battle and targets him* I'm not a mult!1!!1

Example:

These tweezers are very high quality.

Interview

Yeah yeah, I know I got lazy on the final type of noob, but I couldn't think of any. So I hope that tweezers sticks to the no-kill now and that you guys enjoy this Interview... on noobs! I will be interviewing theBEASTmode_ON, Kruthundor, and Yisroel.Rabin, and I will also be answering the questions!

Q1: What is your opinion of noobs?

@BLASTER872: I think noobs are an integral part of any MMO, really, just any game. Noobs in Tanki Online aren't too far from the usual types, but they are much more plentiful here.

@Yisroel.Rabin: I think noobs are a fascinating concepts. Noobs can manage anything, far beyond the human capabilities. Asking for golds? Got em'! Calling you a drugger buyer? Got em' too! Asking for goldsagain? Go em' again! The possibilities are endless. Sometimes I wonder why noobs exist. I mean don't the noobs know that no one wants to give them golds, or to be called a drugger buyer by default? Don't they know no ones likes noobs? Either way, I appreciate them because they balance our world out with the big-shot-pros in a way.

@theBEASTmode_ON: What I think of noobs is that they are fun to play with but get annoying after a while because some people are pro and they fight them they just say they're noob and think that they are the best.

@Kruthundor: They are noobs, that's what they are, they can't help it. I like them simply for the fact that they are easy to troll, and also a good way to boost your k/d.

Q2: What is the type of noob you dislike the most? (You can choose noobs I haven't listed, as there are LOTS of noobs!)

@BLASTER872: TBH I think it's scammers. They really don't help, and they are one of the few kinds of noobs that can do any real harm other than annoyance.

@Yisroel.Rabin: My favorite types of noobs are by far the ones who insist that you are the noob. Every time they miss a shot at you in an XP battle, their default message pops up; "noob lagger." I like them the most because they are the most illogical. A noob asking for gold, he's making sense: he wants gold, he's asking for it. This guy however will just keep insisting that his failures are all your doings. And if had to choose a second favorite noob, I'd choose @tweezers of course!

@theBEASTmode_ON: My least favorite type of noobs are goldies.

@Kruthundor: Trolls, I know noobs and trolls are different things, even I troll every once in a while, but its the trolls that continue to troll even when it gets in the way of us winning the game. Once your trolling starts interfering with the outcome of the game, then I consider you a noob.

Q3: What do you think would reduce the amount of noobs?

@BLASTER872: Put informative banners up! And I'd also provide some incentive to visit the forums. Maybe even just putting it in the yellow chat, or a crystal reward.

@Yisroel.Rabin: *Getting reporter voice ready here... Eh-ech-em* Sadly, there are no cures for noobs, or ways to defect them. We simply have to adapt to the fact that we may encounter noobs once in a while until the "doctor devs" discover what I would call a miracle. Stay safe tankers, stay safe.

@theBEASTmode_ON: Sadly, there is no way to eradicate noobs since they are everywhere and people discover Tanki everyday.

@Kruthundor: Kill them.

I hope you've enjoyed my article on 5 More Types Of Noobs.

@tweezers, no kill please!

Rants || A Series of Complaints

Episode 2 || Scammers

Let's see, have you ever logged on to your account before and =o Oh my god, why have I got 1M less crystals? Do you think it could be because... you were "smart" enough to give your password to an illegitimate site? However, there are clever scammers out there. There's a skrub who scammed my friend @Emperior2 and gave lots of people fake links. I... pressed it... and logged into a fake forum. However, I was seeing lots of "scammer" posts and as nobody logged into my account, I think it meant he didn't have time to scam me (as he was on @Emperior2) and guess what? I changed my password. They probably used something to verify if the password was real without knowing their password, with the fake forum. When they tried to login to my account they got rekt :D

Anyway, enough with that. I just wonder HOW do you people believe that people will give you 1M crystals? Oh, and they'll "just do it" if you give them your password! If you want people to give you hacks, you deserve to lose your account! Why do you people keep believing them? WHY DOESN'T TANKI PUNISH YOU AS WELL? And, why doesn't Tanki try to stop these misconceptions?

Simple. They have no money, because they have no support. Exactly why the paint separation update exists, I wonder... And can they PLEASE stop being greedy? Anyway, they have no money, and campaigns to spread information cost money.

#RantComplete

This is misinformative. The whole point is it's a joke. I don't personally agree with anything negative I said about TO. So you lost your excuse to ban me :ph34r:

Sentiments

A tank. He shoots green bursts of plasma out of his turret. His stable and midget-like but armored hull creaks with the sound of oil. He is using M2 Twins and M2 Viking. Up, in the top screen, displays "BLASTER872 has destroyed allseeingeye_tanki". He goes on a killing spree. Captures tons of flags. Now, in this one hour CTF match, the scores are a brutal 39-39, with 30 minutes left. BLASTER872 snatches the flag under Red Team's nose. He takes the red flag, driving to victory... and he flips. The enemy team takes his flag. However, he still can shoot the enemy (albeit in a small range). Instead of self-destructing and giving up the flag, he destroys the enemy when the enemy comes in range. He is helped up by his teammates. Blue Team wins the match, with the scores being 40-39. Good game.

Question Of The Week

Is it fair to establish an alliance in DM?

Edited August 2, 2016 by BLASTER872

DESTROYER_13 · August 2, 2016

So if you are doing reverse chronological order, you will not be able to add any new stuff.

Please do not eat my Doritos for saying that. ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^

Edited August 2, 2016 by DESTROYER_13

BLASTER872 · August 2, 2016

So if you are doing reverse chronological order, you will not be able to add any new stuff.

Please do not eat my Doritos for saying that. ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^

Sorry, I meant the order of the links to my writing, axaxa.

DESTROYER_13 · August 2, 2016

<_> Oh.

BLASTER872 · August 2, 2016

<_> Oh.

xD

DESTROYER_13 · August 2, 2016

Can't wait for How not to get scammed.

Serious or not?

BLASTER872 · August 2, 2016

Can't wait for How not to get scammed.

Serious or not?

Main Article for next time.

DESTROYER_13 · August 2, 2016

Huh?

BLASTER872 · August 2, 2016

Huh?

I post in newspaper-ish format. It's gonna be my next article. A real guide on how to not get scammed. Not just in Tanki Online. But anywhere.

DESTROYER_13 · August 3, 2016

Oh, nice.

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