We've also brought back our fabled contests, and with this week, Describe This in 100 Words returns to the stage. Tell us all about the stories behind these infamous candids for a chance at crystals and containers. Don't delay - participate right now!

Today, we bring back the classic Parkour Physics series. Find out the forces that make tanks fly and fall right here! Oh, and while you're at it, why don't you have some free cake? ?

Ah come on... I just passed 2 000 forum posts a couple of days ago, so a late congratulations, I guess ? Gotta keep track of these posts next time; they come much faster than I think nowadays

Topics are closed due to inactivity (well, at least here in this forum. we at the newspaper keep our topics open which automatically means we are better) Have you created a closed topic before?

Approved. Wow, it's been a while since this series has last been released - I hadn't even ranked to Third Lieutenant at that time. I remember reading the series and it was definitely one of the series that I enjoyed, and this chapter doesn't disappoint. The little conflict at the beginning unfolds perfectly aided by the casual dialogue driving the plot along, and finally, it's concluded with a neat little conclusion at the end of the story. Really great plot development; in future, maybe including a bit more events to add some more color to the story with the great dialogue. I can't wait for another installment of this series! Edits: minor capitalization fixes and removed some duplicated text.

Congrats to @asdasemm on passing Event Broadcaster Candidacy! Well deserved ?

Yay, new designers! Congrats to @OTPAI3A on becoming a Designer Candidate. Good luck with your candidacy!

Very good idea! I've got Part 2 lying around somewhere... will see if I can bring it back Friday.

A dictionary is a good way to search up words without ruining your search history on your search engine. Which search engine do you use?

Approved. What a hilarious and light little poem; I was thoroughly amused by the piece. I assume that Marty and Tom are brothers in the same family, and if I am correct, I definitely relate to their relationship. It's definitely representative of most sibling relationships, giving the piece an authentic feel. Additionally, the beat is quite well-constructed, bringing better flow to the story. The only somewhat strange part is that a couple of stanzas have six lines, while the rest don't, but otherwise, it is a great poem. Also, I wish you the best of luck on your exams! Edits: Removed a few commas in the end paragraph.

I am drafting out the awards page right now. Good idea; it'll be an interesting one to judge, but I doubt I'll place it now.

Don't worry, it's not a requirement; I just hinted at it. Any other carryover entries will be placed in our next Dictator ?

Approved. First off, welcome to the AWS. I really enjoyed this piece; it had tons of nostalgia and memories with it, especially when the pictures were added to the scene. Though most people prefer the new graphics, I understand why you like the older versions now. In the piece, there were some issues with the writing, which I'll get to below. Otherwise, it's a very great first work in the AWS, I'm sure lots of players will enjoy it, especially veterans. I hope to see you continuing your writing journey in the AWS! Edits:

Approved. Great match review; I felt like I was really there at the scene watching the game. There's a lot of description, especially noting key plays from the players, and insight at the end, which I feel is key to making a match review pop. However, there were some minor grammar and conventions issues that plagued the article a bit, making it a little bit hard to read. I'll explain a few major issues below. Other than that, it's great to see you writing eSports. I hope you'll join our eSports Reporters team soon! Edits: That's probably all I have, but maybe fellow reporter @Mr.Nibbles can also lend some insight as well. Also, check out my most recent match review if you want some extra tips.

Hm, wouldn't say so... I play pretty well without buying or compensations on my smaller accounts ?

Being a non-buyer isn't a life sentence; it's still liveable. For one, I'm functioning fine without having spent a single cent in the game.

First off, there are an unlimited amount of winners; some will be put into our Halloween issue and some in the next issue as not all of them were Halloween themed and it would be weird to put non-Halloween themes into the Halloween Dictator. Thanks for the feedback though, we'll be sure to bring in more contests to come!

Approved. Welcome to the AWS! Just kidding, another great story down. I'm impressed at the way you turned a pretty normal situation like a little household argument (*coughs*, a bot like me never gets into conflicts at home, so I don't know what you're talking about) into such a narrative. The way that you ventured into Sam and his mother's thoughts was also key in this story and really helped strengthen the plot. I'd like to see more of these stories in the future! Edits: removed commas, other minor fixes.

Hello, readers! We've got an important notice for the Newspaper Archive Summary and the AWS Archive. First up, the Newspaper Archive Summary will be updated biweekly. If you have any corrections, please PM Venerable or me (Person_Random) and we will fix them the next time the archive is updated. On the other hand, the AWS Archive will usually be updated on request. Please either let us know in PM or on the AWS FAQs topic if something is outdated or missing and we will try to get to your requests in 48 hours. Newspaper Archive Last Updated: 13/01/2021 AWS Archive Last Updated: 18/01/2021 Enjoy hours of relaxed reading - we're sure you'll enjoy all of our previous articles!

Halloween Benefit Show - A Dictator Special by @Person_Random This Halloween, as many are not able to celebrate in person, we at the Dictator have prepared a special just for you! On Halloween night, join us for a one-of-a-kind benefit show, featuring many of our past and present legends. I hear Flexoo will be doing a very snazzy robot. Ostrica, as usual, will be holding a Masterclass on playing hide-and-seek. We hear this class is very popular, so do not hesitate to sign up! One of our well-known ex-CMs, Nives, will be dabbing whilst juggling knives. And of course, our other dear ex-CM, Semyon Kirov, is hosting the entire show. What are you waiting for? Get your tickets right here and don't miss out on our once-in-a-lifetime show!* *Sponsored by The Ultimate Guide to Dominating with Hopper by Maf Revolting Pumpkins by @Venerable We had received intel from Dusseldorf that the Halloween Pumpkins were revolting. They were apparently dissatisfied with the social-distancing guidelines issued by the TO Administration and wanted the minimum separation between gold-digging tanks to be reduced to 58.7 nanometers instead of 12.3 microns. How such things are a cause of concern for the Halloween Pumpkins is still disputed. I interviewed the great kaisdf on Discord, seeking his views on the latest developments. Here’s an excerpt from the failed interview: Me: So, the Pumpkins are revolting! What are your thoughts? kaisdf: Of course pumpkins are revolting! I never liked eating those disgusting things! I only eat well-roasted pumpkins nowadays, as they help in fat-loss. (Apparently. I take no responsibility for the damages caused by trying this at home.) Me: Oh no! I meant that the Pumpkins are revolting, not that they’re revolting! kaisdf: *confusion* Me: Aw c’mon! The Halloween Pumpkins are protesting! kaisdf: Ah, I see. Let them protest. I can’t help them. I could possibly help them by eating them, provided they’re well-roasted. I gave up. It seems the Newspaper Admin is indeed a Halloween pumpkin-head (Halloween pumpkins are hollow :ph34r:) . Well, the Pumpkin Revolt didn’t go well with the TO Administration, and they quickly dispatched a Roastunning Squad (a team of expert Hoppers with unlimited Overdrive) to round up the revolting Pumpkins after stunning and burning them. The roasted Pumpkins were then sent to kaisdf secretly (we still firmly believe that the mush hollowed out from the Halloween Pumpkins should have been sent to kaisdf, instead of the Pumpkins themselves, for obvious reasons ?️ ). Um, not so secretly, then. Exploding Flame Pumpkins Crash Party by @Person_Random The pumpkin problem only gets worse with this report just in. Apparently, on top of revolting, the restless pumpkins have mobilized their Jack-o-Lantern Overdrive abilities. Some have even found their way into poor helpless tankers from the Freedom Tankers Playerbase (F2P) group. To gain access to more supplies, these tankers watched a video to gain free containers. There, the revolting pumpkins found the perfect opportunity to enter a F2P account and planted themselves in the perfect home - the trusty Firebird, providing them with enhanced explosive powers as seen above. When asking the developer H'Tea Emel Five, he simply shook his head and lamented, "Ah, it's only a Flash mob." Insider Avatar Thief May Cancel Halloween by @Person_Random We received intel that Marcus's Almighty Halo was stolen. Several other avatars were also taken, but those are irrelevant. This all-powerful circular object not only powers the robot behind Marcus as well as many other fucntions, but also controls crucial gold dropping services that admins provide during the holidays. Without this Halo of Pure Gold, so many vital functions failed: Hoppers couldn't jump due to a lack of jumping power, Firebirds and Freezes didn't have enough pressure in their tanks to even fire at all, and Juggernaut's Overdrive couldn't even blow away a leaf, let alone the heaviest of Mammoths. With just a few moments till Halloween, all hope was lost - many believed the holiday may be forgotten this year. After hundreds of error reports due to a lack of power, the developers cancelled announcements and events, but it was all in vain - for we have uncovered a key clue in tracking down the avatar thieves: they were misguided helpers in our very own forum! In preparation for the "Design an Avatar" contest, the contest group needed all the spare avatars they could get, and in this process, Marcus's Almighty Halo was taken. We have tried to talk to the organizer, @GG_reg, to ask for the avatars back, but all he said was "Don't worry, you'll all get them back when the contest ends." If you're reading this, GG_reg and the Contest Team, we're anxiously awaiting the return of Marcus's Halo - we need it back before it's too late. Case-doof indicted; kaisdf returns after five months in exile by @Person_Random Back in May, a mysterious "case-doof" was found to be embezzling nearly all the newspaper funds, and thanks to all these generous contributions, we were able to use the 99 mines and some help from our dear reporter @Pythor, who boldly went undercover disguised as a Social Media Minion Moderator donated to corner and surround the culprit on Skyscrapers. Shortly after the capture, with some help from intrepid volunteers on the battle map, we were able to isolate this case-doof in the dark basement floor. This victim is now forced to watch the MotS Solo stream between Bravo and Lellek amidst blasting music of the "Top 100 Most Annoying Songs" radio station MULT 99.1 and count the number of missed shots for only rotten oranges while he awaits his court date. Meanwhile, for the first time in several months, our dear administrator @kaisdf has been returned from captivity. Health scans show him in mostly good condition with the exception of a near-complete loss of hearing. It's resulted in a couple of frustrating mishaps, such as ordering oatmeal raisin cookies instead of our favorite chocolate frosted donuts, but we're sure we'll be able to milk the maximum available profits from him before he gets hearing aids. Invisibility Cloak - Get Yours Today! by @Person_Random Footage of a guest wearing the coveted Invisibility Cloak. Hello, Tankers! Have you ever wanted to enjoy Halloween to the fullest but haven't gotten a chance to? Well, now's the time to mobilize your wallets and break the bank for the best holiday celebration you've ever had. Developed by the magicians from Hogwarts; previously owned by Harry Potter, it's the signature item from Harry Potter lore - the fabled Invisibility Cloak. It's the best costume one could ever want for Halloween. You can do it all - take all the candy from the trick or treat bowl and blame it on your pudgy neighbor, toilet paper your least favorite teacher's house without a single consequence, and of course, best of all, get into the true Halloween spirit and scare a record number of people!* Don't forget to buy it to enjoy Halloween to the fullest. Now only 9999 Tankoins!** *Only lasts for a few minutes. Use responsibly. **Starting bid. Price only goes up from here. A quick FOVID-19 Warning by the Tanki Health Organization by @Person_Random Experts bring warning of a second wave of FOVID-19 (Forumavirus-19), which is only to be exacerbated with the crowded Halloween celebrations. To prevent the transmission of this deadly disease, please exercise the following cautions when out and about during the holidays: Practice social distancing. Firebirds and Freezes are mandated to use the Augment "High Pressure Pump" and Isidas are banned from the battlefield altogether. See list of recommended augments here. Exercise caution when catching Gold Boxes. We recommend typing "Admin gold pls" in a deserted drop spot to get a gold safely and effectively. And as always, wear a mask. Stay safe and enjoy the holidays - responsibly. Smash liek by @Person_Random The Dictator is already in peril of losing its 5-donut ratings after a warning from the National Organization of Opinion-and-Humor-Article Boards (NOOBS) for "not being funny enough". Negative influences like other humorous papers and low view counts could be fatal to the Dictator's status, especially with the next NOOBS inspection just a few days away. If this issue gets fewer than twenty likes, the Dictator could likely be sent to rehab and replaced with The Leaky Mult. So please, smash the like button before it is too late! And if you have any problems with the Dictator's Publication; don't hesitate to reach out to NOOBS at TNK00-00000-0473T-HJ5X2-KT8DH. This issue is brought to you by Procrastination. Enjoy!

Awesome, thanks for giving me something to do during Econ ? Question: will the experience and crystal boost be removed? If so, how soon in the future will it be removed? Kind of scared that I might rank up by accident sometime ?

Welcome back @Sailors to the helper team as a Designer candidate. Good luck with your candidacy! ?

As you're enjoying the Halloween festivities, we'll add one more contest to the plate - write us a horrifying obituary and you'll be on your way to some prizes. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Hey everyone! Who's ready for another contest? I hope you sure are, because ready or not, I'm giving away some crystals for some awesome captions.. Keep reading if you want a chance at some crystals. Task: A rusted tank at the scene of the crime. What was left behind? What was there? How did it die? You get to answer all of these questions by, yeap, writing us an obituary. Here's a sample one below. (It's not incredibly detailed, but it should give you an idea of what I'm looking for in these entries. In the above entry, I got some information from the MotS Trio tournament. You don't need to fact-check just exactly what happened if you're planning to choose this one, but rather use your imagination to create a story for this tragic scene. If you need a few screenshots of death, imminent death, or tragedy to get you started, I've provided a few I've saved from ages past. Enter your response in this Google Form. Entries posted elsewhere will not be considered. Rules/Criteria: 1. Enter with one account only. 2. No plagiarism. 3. Keep your responses short and sweet, but elaborate when necessary. Word limit is 300 words, so I hope you'll be able to cover this gruesome story with some quick humor. You got this. 4. This contest will be judged on originality, humor, gruesome details (if possible), and general English conventions. Prizes: First Place - 50 000 crystals + 5 containers Second Place - 40 000 crystals + 3 containers Third Place - 30 000 crystals + 2 containers A consolation prize of 20 000 crystals will be given to any other deserving entries. Remember to turn in your entries before 13 November to be eligible to win these crystals. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________ I hope you'll enjoy this contest; do let me know what you thought of this contest. Best of luck and happy Halloween, Tankers!

Another season, and it's now time again to hand out the prizes to the best articles of Fall 2020. Join us here for some juicy prizes and a fun read! ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ This past summer, while cooped inside our houses with nothing to do, all of us writers seem to be going at full speed, turning out a show-stopping number of articles. We'd like to reward you for your hard work. These awards are for writers who have been active in the past few months of the year 2020. Each article winner will receive 15 000 crystals and 2 containers, and the winners of special distinctions 25 000 crystals and 5 containers. Overall Awards Let's start off with the Most Active Writer of 2020 Q1/Q2: @tankicola, who kept us entertained with his prolific works. The sheer number of top-tier chapters in the action-packed "Containment in Skyscrapers" Series is the epitome of persistence and constant creativity. Keep up the great work! Next up, our most valuable writer. For a while, an AWS veteran returned to pen a few quick pieces, and there's no doubt they've won us over here at TWNC. Congratulations @Initiate on winning this great honor for Fall 2020! On to our article awards, shall we? Article Awards The Lose Officially Unofficial Guide on How Not to Write A Guide by @Lose A well-written article, with double the humor and seasoned with pictures, delivered straight from one of our best writers. Lose mixes creativity and comedy with some satirical advice to bring us a top-tier guide on writing guides - the LoseTM way. Buckle up for this Masterclass. Writers, you're going to be on your way to writing extremely great guides! [Review] Augments vs. Drones by @Tokamak Augments and Drones are both a huge investment; if you're not a person to break the bank on these key gameplay items, you can only pick one. So which should you pick? Well, Tokamak breaks it all down with in-depth insight about both Augments and Drones, giving you the most valuable choice no matter who you are. Final verdict? Just read and see! The Ongoing Story of Nodestroywithturret - Part 3 by @NoDestroyWithTurret It's quite frustrating to go through the low ranks of Tanki; Nodestroywithturret makes it harder by limiting himself to using only Overdrives and healing to progress through the game. Through this tribulation, he's gained some key advice, compressed it, and sent us a Wasp breakdown with expert tips to rival a Newspaper-quality guide. To achieve mastery with Tanki's fastest hull, look no further. SuperNick95: A Legendary Admin by @Sabrytoun_Superman Few people have mastered the art of interviewing better than our resident expert Sabry. This time, he steps beyond our immediate helper realms to have a chat with SuperNick95, one of our great Head Administrators. There's plenty of inside info about our beloved administrator's Tanki career - be sure to check it out as soon as possible! Creativity Awards [Story] Not For Nothing by @SHREYA88 Great story containing awesome description and plot. With such skillful writing, anyone reading can easily see the entire story unfold right before their eyes. And let's not forget about the humor, which comes in at just the right moments, painting a perfectly executed, light-hearted picture. If you're looking for a breezy story with just the right touch of humor, well, you've got it. Just click here to read! Containment in Skyscrapers Series by @tankicola As mentioned above, this was one of the best series - thirteen great chapters in three short months. Few can manage to keep up with writing a series, but tankicola is definitely an exception. He never leaves out quality while cranking out numerous chapters of this eventful and descriptive series, giving us an inside look on the happenings in Skyscrapers and a backstory on this popular map. We've linked the first chapter above - come check it out! When the Grass Grows by @Initiate Just a first glance had me hooked on one of the most mesmerizing and moving pieces, courtesy of Initiate. The discussion in the piece seamlessly shifts from one topic to the next, from something as simple as grass to the complexity of our everyday lives, leaving us relaxed yet aware. Don't miss out on this great read! ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ That's all for today, I hope you'll enjoy these awesome pieces from the AWS! If you want to write as well, show us your creative side here! We'll see you later! *If you noticed some random new prizes in your account, well, yeap, Amazon early delivery was able to send them before sales. Enjoy! TNK00-00000-0473T-GON3J-I?UCB

Let's all wish a happy birthday to our dear Newspaper and SM Administrator @kaisdf ? + more cake ?