I suppose he wants teamwork lol. Meanwhile, I have a whole language I'm not willing to share, so yeah, I'm not helping either. Besides, I have to practice.

-519

Good luck with the moving process!

The best way to spy on me is to apparate and make sure I am video chatting with you.

Ice cream looks a lot like gelato. What is a good dessert?

-521

Yeah, that's right. New idea: Change the names so they all start with B. See? Easy! Tanki saves a fortune and people (kinda) get what they want.

lol

I used to like Tanki.

No sight of the mascot.

-523

Excellent story! However, (drumroll for criticism), you serious need to vary your sentence starts. Every other sentence starts with a pronoun, and you want to lower the prevalence of 'i' or 'we' sentence starts, or else the piece will turn out to sound very basic. Anyways, great work, excellent plot, and I can't wait!

-526

Nah it's fine, just giving a friendly reminder :)

How fun... I get a good 40-50 fps on a chromebook but actually only get about 7 on my dad's computer (probably since my cousin screwed it over)

I actually do remember. I was almost 5 and then I was in a combo class. The first part of the day was kinda fuzzy, some introductions and such and such, then it was lunch. At lunch, some weirdos sat next to me and then I ran away and hid in a bush for the rest of lunch. Then I went back to class and got picked up by some killer evil afterschool right next to the school, where I got bullied on a daily basis. So much for fun in your younger years.

Thanks, and you're welcome! Your suggestions had taught me to make my writing more sophisticated. If I join the reporter team, though,you'll be surprised who I am.

Random thing I inherited from a friend: please don't try to double post! (The edit tool will do)

-559

Nice!

Dude... I thought you said you would stop this...

You're welcome! (Me has impulses too, so I learned some from experience) Don't sweat it, it was already pretty great (Most impulses are). I feel like it could have just been expressed better. Looking forward to your next piece!

Great first work! I absolutely loved it, however, you could have chosen to work harder to make the points less superficial. You were more 'telling' and not 'showing' your point. I'd suggest using a metaphor to compare this to. Anyways though, it was a great topic with an even better message.

Being able to read makes me literate. Can you help me ace my test?

Okay, sorry for the doublepost, but this will probably be my edits changelog. Just so you can keep up, there's a lot of forum debugging to do. Edits: 6/24/19 22:18, fixed the links (pieces) and added @pythor20000 to the acknowledgements list. Don't ask for your name unless I kind of know you, then we'll talk. Edits: 6/24/19 22:30, fixed images and all the links.