Ahem. Abandon all hope, gnatsy my dear. I have returned, and this game is doomed.

I... I can't believe it! I turn my back for two seconds to go get a sandwich, and this is what happens?! :( :angry:

I'm pretty sure I didn't see any developers make an announcement that said "Hey, tankers, your Flash accounts will not be transferred to Unity!" Maybe I just didn't see that announcement.

Ladies and gentletankers, I am a pony of taste. I dabble in many fine avenues of enjoyment, including cider tasting, golf, the art of the written word, sampling stick deodorant, and being the “ticklee” at parties. Don’t tell poor Lhamster. I am also a connoisseur of good humor. The simple irony is an amazing feat of intelligence and artfulness, one that lesser beings like greyat are incapable of creating or comprehending. In my (seven or so?) months on the forum, I have recognized many well-stated ironies that Tanki forum-ites enjoy posting and circulating, such as the lie that Fen’ Harel is a foot rest when it is obvious that Remaine is the real culprit. But one of the most oft-repeated humorous topics is that of Tanki’s in-game power-ups, a.k.a. supplies. Many risible rebuttals to the existence and/or usage of the power-ups have been thrown around, each with their own inventors and intentions. As one studies said rebuttals, one notices one common denominator: they are all hysterically funny. They usually take the form of enraged rants posted by militant anti-supply tankers, who shall be referred to in this article as “Nons”. Also in this article you will see that the word "drug" is not used by me. The term is offensive, as it refers to a chemical substance that makes a person act illogically and immorally, and it is just a slang word for supplies, anyway. Some like to argue that "drugging" is different from supply-using, but I contend that, since the kits you buy in the garage are not called "drug kits", the term "drug" is needless. Never really looked into the subject of anti-supply arguments? You and the rest of Tankidom! So let’s all take a moment to sit, sip our cider, and rank the top five dumbest anti-supply quotes of all time: 1.) “Druggers are bullies and cheaters! I would much rather play with pride and skill than run around mashing the number buttons.” Ah, the old hate-filled, guilt-tripping quip. Easily throwing a noose around the number one spot is the allegation that supply user = evil. Even though this quote has no actual facts upon which to rest, it is the most commonly stated of all the quotes. The tanker who uses this word-weapon is not saying that the act of using supplies is bad, he is saying that the player who uses them is an inherently evil, “good-for-nothing dirt bag”. Think I’m stretching it just a bit? I just quoted a Non forum user. The first part of the accusation, which attempts to label supply users as cheaters, is extremely easy to prove incorrect. This link right here will take you to the Tanki Online rules page, where you will find precisely zero rules against supplies. And, given the fact that Tanki GIVES the supplies away and ENCOURAGES players to use them, there’s no possibility that the rules-writer missed it. Tanki sets the rules, Tanki allows for the power-ups, therefore using them is not cheating. Duh. The next part of the accusation, the allegation that supply-using Tankers are bullies, is equally as ridiculous. First of all, the tanker who says this is essentially saying that almost all tankers are bullies, since almost all tankers use the supplies to aid their performance. So congrats to you, supply-less tanker, for dissing all of Tankionline. We will be careful not to push you off the edge of the map and spawn-camp you when there is no edge. Secondly, bully is defined as “a malicious individual who intimidates and abuses those weaker than he is in order to satisfy a sadistic urge.” Now, you, the supply-less tanker, may feel like you are being bullied as you are stumbling around the map in that little M0 Wasp Smoky, firing blindly at those big, mean old M1 Wasp Ricochets who keep kicking your witless flank. And, at times, you may feel like running to Mommy and screaming “MOMMY MOMMY THOSE MEAN OLD TANKS WON’T QUIT BEATING ME!” To which she will respond, as always, by shoving in a pacifier and changing your soiled diaper. It’s called life. You are not always going to be the god of everything, and those tankers who DARE to defeat you on the battlefield are really just playing the game. They aren’t trying to ruin your day, or make you feel worthless. That’s how you perceive them, because you are being a sore loser. Now, am I saying that you should pin the corners of your mouth back into a Glasgow grin when you are having the worst day ever? No. Ask @Darren4Turbo or @Penguin40; they’ll tell you how angry I get when we join a team that is as incompetent as humanly possible. But I don’t walk away cursing the opposing team, because it isn’t their fault for winning; it’s our team’s fault for being so intensely bad at the game. That, my dear Non tanker, is something you should consider. Maybe the others are not wicked for winning against you. Maybe you are just a bad player. And maybe that could be remedied if you’d use the supplies. “BUT I THAID I’D RATHER UTH THKILL THAN UTH THUPPLIETH!” You are, for some insane reason, assuming that supplies replace skill. That is so absurd. In order to use supplies effectively, YOU MUST BE A SKILLED PLAYER. My old Non friend Lollytwist was a pretty skilled player when she was a recruit, but then she met the big tanks when she became a Warrant Officer, and suddenly her basic skills were outdated. Oh, and her opponents also used supplies. You can buy a ten-thousand pack of supplies and use them incessantly, but if you are unskilled, you are going to waste every one of those supplies. Let’s say I have trouble lighting candles. Okay? I have a little candle lighter, one with a little flint that ignites the lighter fluid. I try and try to light that darn candle, but I just can’t get it lit. So what do I do? I go rent a flame thrower, which I haul home and aim at my candle. Does it light? Nope. Why not? Why does the candle not light for either device? Because I’m such a hysterically unskilled candle lighter, I forgot to squeeze the trigger on either device. The problem is not that your opponents lack skills; it’s that YOU, militant supply-less tanker, lack skills. 2.) “Tanki is going to fall apart because it requires players to pay if they want to win! Open your wallet and you will be a champion!” More cider, anyone? The economically clueless two-spot argument doesn’t take much analysis to debunk. Tanki doesn’t require you to purchase supplies. They are given away as gifts for completing Daily Missions. “BUT THEY DON’T GIVE AWAY ENOUGH OF THEM!” you may say. There is a logical argument to this conundrum that I will now lay out very plainly: A. You, a skilled tanker, play Tanki using supplies. B. You perform well in battles and earn big battlefund dividends. C. You complete Daily Missions, which give you a small selection of supplies every day. D. You earn crystals quickly and soon unlock a garage kit, which you buy to upgrade your equipment. Included in the kit is a gift package of more supplies. E. Having bought the kit, you realize that you have a pocketful of crystals remaining. You buy a supply kit. F. Return to Point A until you, now a Generalissimo, have a fully M3 garage and lots of supplies in your inventory, and you have never spent a penny on the game. This flow of logic has been used for years by multitudes of tankers. It is not that hard. It just requires that you be a skilled player who can consistently earn good battlefund dividends. And if you aren’t that kind of player, don’t worry! You can change! All you need to do is quit opening topics in the forum in which you scream about how the entire world is against you, stop sitting for minutes in battle so you can type hate-filled rants against everyone, quit crying, dry your eyes, and PLAY THE GAME. Practice makes perfect! Pardon me as I stop to refill @Lhamster’s cider glass. 3.) “Pro battle passes are not an option for avoiding those nasty-wasty meany druggers. Hackers can use drugs in pro battles, the pass is too expensive, and there aren’t that many non-drugging pro battles online! I also shouldn't have to pay to get a fair fight.” Let me respond with these points: A. You have faaaar more to worry about than supplies-or-no-supplies if there is a hacker in your battle. B. Pro passes are a measly 5000 crystals. That is not expensive at all, or it wouldn’t be if tankers would quit bawling, play the game, and earn crystals. I earn about 5000 every three hours of playing, from my top-of-the-leaderboard battlefunds and daily missions. C. Have you ever looked through all the servers? If you had, you’d know that the first four Russian servers are eternally packed with pro battles. While you may not find the one Non utopia you are looking for, you can certainly create one and wait for others to drop in. Or you can do the simple thing and use supplies in a normal battle. D. ) If you really think about it, there are almost zero public battles that are not, in some small way, lopsided. One player will always have just one more micro-upgrade point in his favor, turning the tide of battle and rendering it "not completely fair". So get over it. There will always be someone who has better equipment, skills, and advantages than you. If you take away that fact - the whole "leveling the playing field" crap - then you will take away the excitement and intrigue of the game. 4.) “It’s such a big issue! Everytanki wants to get rid of supplies!” The fourth humorous hunk of hysteria propagated by nefarious Nons is the bald-faced lie that “the drugging problem” is at the forefront of everytanki’s mind. This is funny enough to be first on my list, but I didn’t put it there because it isn’t as frequently shrieked stated. The idea that the lag plaguing many players is somehow less important than how repair kits hurt sometanki’s poor wittle feewings is so out of touch with reality, it ought to win a prize. I would wager a guess that our Arabian friends, family, and colleagues would probably appreciate their own Tanki community, complete with a forum and some servers, and there are obviously more Arabian tankers than Nons. Now I realize that it may appear to you, my cider-sipping fellow forumite, that the flock of Nons may be a touch on the hefty side. After all, that maddeningly mistitled topic “Drugs: the only today Tanki strategy to win a battle” is a rather popular pit stop on the forum. The problem is that most of the replies to that topic are from the same small group of tankers. They each respond a hundred times to the topic and VOILA, it looks as if thousands of tankers are crying about supply usage. That’s how Nons are like puffer fish: they make themselves look much bigger than they really are. 5.) "Druggers are everywere; they are imbalancing the game. Supplies need to be severely limited!" The fifth and final fallacious frolic is the idea that Tanki should shorten the proverbial leash on supply-less users as they are tipping the scales in a negative way. This is just as pitiful as my ongoing efforts to best @KillerGnat and in “Count Before Tanki Staff”. The Nons wail about how supply users lurk in every battle, yet they can’t even process what that truth implies. If you study the situation closely, you will realize that, since supply users are the majority of tankionline’s players, then THEY AREN’T IMBALANCING THE GAME, THE NONS ARE! So, if Tanki severely limits supply usage as they should limit Nons’ access to the game, then Tanki itself will be imbalancing the game. That, to answer the oft-repeated question, is why Tanki hasn’t and won’t “nerf” the supplies any more: doing so would hurt the vast majority of its players. * * * * * * * * There are many factors that make Tankionline an enjoyable place to spend your time, and the greatest of those is the overall sense of community and closeness that binds it together and keeps its heart beating. And while a few of the community’s members may behave themselves in a selfish manner, we accept them as tankers anyway and let them rant and rave about whatever is bugging them today. Freedom of speech (not to be confused with “free speech”) is Tankiforum’s most basic principle, so they most certainly have the right to stomp around with their undies in a knot. So, to the Nons of the forum and of the game: continue enjoying your daily screaming about the evil supplies on those dozens of topics you made. Most of Tankionline’s players don’t read them anymore anyway, and if we do, it’s just for laughs.

History Rio was founded about thirty minutes ago by a guy named Murphy Rio who had two passions in life: eating spaghetti and building parking garages. His job as a lady bug counter just didn’t fulfill his need for adventure, so he moved out of his home in Mexico City and settled down in a nice little town south of Svalbard. He soon got his dream job working for a construction company that built large, shapeless buildings in inconvenient places. Murphy had the time of his life, slapping up pointless shanties in people’s backyards, on their roofs, and in their living rooms while they stared in shock and bewilderment. Eventually, one person became very upset at the unrequested shopping center that was assembled in his driveway, so he called the local law enforcement to report this breach of private property. The police took one look at the building and knew that backup was needed. Over the next several weeks, tanks rolled back and forth around the city, sparring over the right to build and the right to not be built upon. Murphy Rio took over the city and renamed it, while the police took his dog and attempted to use it as leverage in attempted negotiations. This only angered Murphy more, and the fight continues to this day. Overview Deathmatch Best hulls, in order from most to least effective: 1. Hunter 2. Viking 3. Hornet 4. Wasp 5. Titan 6. Dictator 7. Mammoth Best turrets, in order from most to least effective: 1. Ricochet 2. Smoky 3. Hammer 4. Twins 5. Thunder 6. Isida 7. Firebird 8. Railgun 9. Vulcan 10. Freeze 11. Shaft Capture the Flag Best equipment to use, based on your role on the team: Flag runner: light or medium hull, especially Hunter, and short-mid range turret, especially Ricochet or Twins. Draft: medium hull, especially Viking, and short-mid range turret, especially Twins and Isida Flag Guard: medium hull, especially Viking, and a mid-range turret, especially Ricochet and Twins. Rover: medium hull, especially Viking, and mid-range gun, especially Ricochet and Twins. Best routes to take when taking the flag from: The red team The blue team Capture Point Best equipment to use, based on your role on the team: Capturers: light to medium hull, especially Hunter and Viking, with short-midrange turret, especially Twins and Firebird. Guards: medium hull, especially Viking, and short-midrange turret, especially Firebird, Twins, and Isida. CP mode in Rio is all about maintaining control of the three center points (A, B, and C). If you can hold them, the enemies can keep the two other points and you will still win. And when the enemies do come for the three center points, they will have to leave the other two, opening them up for your team to get as well. Capturing Point A Once you get onto the roof where Point A is, keep looking left and right at the two entry routes while you capture. Enemies may try to come up and attack, and if they do, you will have the advantage of height as you defend. If you approach from the Red Flag: If an enemy is NOT PRESENT at the point, stroll right up there and start capturing. If an enemy IS PRESENT, wait for another teammate to help you attack. The enemy has a height advantage and will be hard to kill if you fight him alone. If you approach from the Blue Flag: and no enemies are present, then go capture as I said a second ago. If an enemy IS PRESENT at the point, you can try to attack alone if necessary as the ramp coming from the Blue Flag’s side of the map rises higher than the ramp from Red Flag, giving you a more level aim. Capturing Point B If you approach from the road: beware of enemies camping on the Shelf. Thunders and Railguns will often sit there and protect points B and C, so use caution. If you approach from Point A: you should still watch out for campers on the Shelf, but there are support beams sticking up out of the platform around the point that you can use for cover. Keep an eye over your shoulder, as your biggest threat is enemies coming from Point A. Capturing Point C If you approach from the Red Flag: roll up onto the roof and drop onto the point; don’t try to drive across the incredibly narrow platform that most mistakenly consider a “shortcut”. If you do so in anything other than a Wasp or Hornet, you will likely flip over. Once you are at the point, watch for enemies on the Shelf and fire back if needed. If you approach from Point A: A safer approach than coming from the Red Flag. Do not use the ramps; drop straight down from the roof. Capturing Point D Approaching from either side is the same in the way of advantage and danger. Tanks on the buildings in the center of the map very rarely shoot at you if you are on the Shelf, unless you make a big to-do and draw their attention. Your biggest threat as you capture this point will be enemies who spawn up here or drive up the ramps. Capturing Point E Technically the safest point on the map, the beach point is usually an afterthought and is only visited by those who have their heads in the game enough to think of the points that aren’t sitting right in front of them. You will almost never be shot at from the buildings, so just watch for tanks coming through holes in the fence that marks the perimeter. Locations of the points: Team Deathmatch Rio is a great place to camp with a long-range turret and blast away at pedestrians. On the map below are the best places to camp: Goldhunting: Find that Drop Zone! NOTE: No matter the map or battle mode, you should always press the DELETE button as soon as you hear the Gold Box siren. You will have ten seconds to dart around, searching for the box’s drop zone. When you respawn, you will likely be dropped in wherever you haven’t already checked, and you will have all your supply cool-downs reset. Despite its relatively small size, Rio is a tough map on which to goldhunt. The drop zones are spread out evenly across the whole map, but the two most common landing zones are the Shelf (including the street in front of it) and the beach. Most tankers head for the roofs as soon as they hear the siren, simply because it’s the hardest to get to, but that is not necessarily the best thing to do, especially if you have a heavy hull or non-recoiling turret (meaning you can’t jump down to the street if you see the gold somewhere else). A tip for duelists: When dueling at Rio, your biggest challenge will be getting at clear shot at your opponent. The map is loaded with obstacles, so acquiring a clear, safe shot is a feat in and of itself. My advice is that you don’t go onto the beach or the Shelf. Those might be the safest places in CTF or CP, but that’s because the crowd of enemies is focused mainly on the flags and points in the center of the map. In a duel, however, your enemy’s focus is killing you, so it won’t matter where you are. Instead, you should go up onto the roof and wait where point A is located in CP mode. If you sit there, it is impossible to shoot at you unless the enemy comes up onto the roofs, too, where you will not only see him coming, but you will also have the height advantage.

Diane’s cheeks burned with humiliation. “How could you, Taylor? I… I thought we were friends!” Taylor giggled at her cell phone screen, ignoring Diane’s tears. “Seriously, D… you really thought all that was for real, didn’t you? She doubled over laughing. “You looked so distraught!” Diane ground her eyes hard with the back of her hand as Taylor regained her composure. “Wait ‘til the rest of our friends see this!” She tapped a few buttons on her phone, then turned to Diane. “What do you think I should call this- HUK!” Blood sprayed from Taylor’s mouth as she choked on the switchblade now firmly sheathed between her ribs. Diane smiled and watched her sink to her knees, convulsing and clawing at the flowing wound. “You were right, Taylor,” whispered Diane, gently twisting the knife, savoring the scratch of metal on bone. “It is fun to hurt a friend.” Tears trickled down Taylor’s agony-twisted face. With a final shudder, she fell limp and dropped the phone onto the carpet. Diane scooped up the phone. “Gotta get this on video, too… wait ‘til the rest of our friends see it.”

Heh heh heh.... It has been a long seven days, but it's over now, and I'm back. I'm impressed with your success! You almost made it to 90! 0.

I very rarely get emotional over this game, but this is one of those times. You were one of the first friends I met in this forum, and now I'm losing you. If this topic had a downvote button, I'd click it, because I DON'T WANT YOU TO LEAVE. :( :(

I love my purple Best Helper paint and wear it all the time. And every battle, everytanki blows up the chat box asking how I got that paint and why I'm ignoring them.

Can't...stop...laughing! After being torched for "greedily snatching everytanki's hard-earned money", Tanki tries to give everytanki a generous discount. And this is the response? I'm getting the feeling that Tanki could release an update that gives everyone breakfast in bed and someone would find something horribly wrong with it. Not hatin', just sayin'.

Rustbucket54321

No, there are not a lot of them. If there were, the game would be imbalanced and Tanki would have to tweak the supplies again.

I admire your chivalry, my murderous insect companion, and I can say that, having done the same thing on multiple occasions, you learn when and where to drop a flag for a team mate. If you don't corner him in just the right spot, you will find yourself shoving team mates just to try and get the flag back.

You do NOT have to pay to download Unity. I just downloaded it about a month ago and it is free.

Shadow, my man, you have done a good deed.

Ah, but it was a micrometeor travelling at six inches per hour, and it simply bounced harmlessly off his head. He "no ded".

The Little Mermaid

But then the meteor realized that most if not all of the replies to this topic begin with the word "but", so it was too distracted to hit him in the head. He "no ded".

And the title should be either "Let's Discuss Tanki X" or "Let's Talk About Tanki X", anyway. :P True.

You make an excellent point, Blood_Clot, and I admire the humorous way in which you stated it. "We want, we want, we want, blah blah blah..." Like a bunch of kids in a toy store and there's no way possible for them to have every toy that they scream for. There's no way Tanki can give all that, yet that's exactly what some tankers will demand, knowing that it is impossible, ready and giddy to whine and scream about not getting every little toy in the store. Very perceptive of you to see that. Two upvotes for you, buddy. <_<

You are wrong. The answer is yes! We want Gold Boxes!

Player fordmustang12345 has been banned FOR AS LONG AS CELERY TAKES TO GROW. Reason: not admitting that I am cute.

Gold! Box! Gold! Box! What do we want? GOLD BOXES! When do we want them? CHRISTMAS! Ten times frequency, please, if possible. :)

Player fordmustang12345 has been banned UNLESS HE ISN'T. Reason: not making a written report on how I'm intensely cute.

Again, you can't fall INTO a black hole, you fall ONTO it, and John Carradine was there to pull the plug on the teleporter, so she "no ded".