Welcome tankers - it's back! 'In the Community Spotlight', an interview series which has seen its fair share of newspaper history, has returned. And with us today, I've got the guy who credits his successful Tanki career to my amazing advice and mentoring, the guy who allegedly claims he "couldn't have done it all without Goldy", the one and only... MarineMan2! GoldRock: So, MM2, how's it goin'? MarineMan2: I'm doing pretty well, all thanks to your great wisdom and advice of course. *rolls eyes* GoldRock: Now that is something I'm very glad to hear. Makes me feel all warm inside just thinking about the inspiration I must have been for you, y'know? (wipes tear away emotionally) Anyway, enough about me, although the subject could fill books as I'm sure my future biographer will realise in due course. Hehe. So, could you tell our readers who you are and a bit about yourself? MarineMan2: Well to start, my name is James. I’ve been with Tanki Online for just about three years now, though I worked for the game as a staffer for about two. TO started as a hobby and quickly found its way to have a special place in my heart. I only dabble in other games a little, as most of my game time goes to Tanki. As far as hobbies goes, I’m interested in rock climbing, downhill skiing, civic issues, and playing my guitar (which is honestly a work in progress at this point). GoldRock: Moving on - I've known you for a long time, but I'm not sure I've ever asked... How exactly did you stumble across the great game that is Tanki Online? MarineMan2: Well Miniclip was one of several websites I commonly visited for online games, and one day I decided I would just goof off in the multiplayer section. I didn't intend to sign up for a full account, since there's usually some rubbish process where you have to provide a lot of information only so you can be spammed in every possible way later on. Anyway, I thought it was kinda interesting to see how far into the system I could get until the game started asking for personal information and the such. In my random clicking of multiplayer games I clicked on Tanki. It loaded me into the trial, and then much to my surprise, it loaded me straight into the game after just a quick username selection. I originally chose the username "marineman", but soon decided to create a new account with capitalized Ms, and I thought there was a nice ring to the abbreviation MM2. GoldRock: Ooh, sounds like a good example of where the developers' attempts to make the game easy to get into actually paid off! And *cough* I'm glad they did and that you're here, of course :P Once you'd started to get into the game, how did things go from there? Did you get hooked into keyboard-smashing your way up the ranks straight away, or was your early career a little slower at first? MarineMan2: Sooo... I don't know if you want me to be objective or subjective in my response, so I'll just go for both. Objectively, I wasn't especially fast when it came to ranking up, but I was moving at a fair enough pace. Subjectively... I was a beastly machine of ranking up. Which sounds epic, but is only true since I rank up super infrequently nowadays. GoldRock: Well, it seems like you played the game a fair amount at first like many of us! When you started reaching the mid-ranks, what changed? MarineMan2: Yea, it was definitely a lot of fun to unlock new items and to develop a strategy for both purchasing items, along with the combinations I could use them in. When I reached the mid-ranks I began to acquire a deeper understanding of the game. I finally found the forum and other game resources. My horizons broadened, and I guess it was at this point that I really discovered the Tanki Online community. GoldRock: Aw, that's dramatic. On that note, how did you end up joining the Tanki staff? MarineMan2: Getting involved with the Tanki Staff was an interesting experience for me. I certainly wouldn't have come this far if it weren't for the support and good nature of a few people along the way. I started out as a guy who happened to know a good bit about the game with an interest in helping the community. Like many, I was initially drawn to the Chat Moderator position, since those were the Helpers I had felt the impact of most given the game itself was where I spent most of my time. I handed in a sloppy application and I wasn't really sure what I wanted or where I was going. Ostrica messaged me about a month later to inform me that it seemed like I didn't really fit the position (surprise, surprise), and suggested I look into the Consultants. I really committed this time, and became more diligent with my efforts. I carefully looked into things, and worked on the servers regularly, but upon applying, Issho_Fujitora responded to me saying that while I showed potential, I had a total of zero forum posts, leaving a lot of my ability and performance undocumented. He told me that I should work to grow as a contributor on the forum, and with this wisdom in mind, I went at it. About a month later I received a message from Issho on Skype saying I was admitted into the Consultants group for Candidacy. The rest is history. GoldRock: What was it like to contribute to the community in such a way? What were some of the most interesting and exciting things you've done in your Tanki career? MarineMan2: It was such a fun experience for me! Honestly growing to know the job and the people was the best part. As a Consultant, I was exposed to a lot of different people in the servers. While as a Forum Moderator, I ran into a lot of people who just loved exchanging cool ideas and thoughts. My work on the Help site was just especially rewarding because it let me interact with a lot of people, while having a definite positive impact on the community. I liked the idea that every time I answered a question or posted a topic, that much more information would be available to players. Hmmm… Cool and exciting things I've done in my career. Well… Winning the Supplies Tutorial Contest with you was a real pleasure. Getting Helper of the Month was something incredibly special to me the first time I was awarded it. Then not to mention being awarded Helper of the Year! Those awards entailed rewards, but mostly the mere recognition that I had served well meant a lot to me. And as for a more recent exciting thing that's going on with me, my involvement in the closed beta testing of Tanki X, and some community development work. I think everything is going to pan out well. From the game to the forum, nothing disappoints. (Especially for forum users, a treat lies ahead.) GoldRock: What would your advice for new players trying to advance in the game, community, or even to join the staff be? MarineMan2: Just be yourself and the right things will happen. Wanting to be a part of the Tanki Online staff is an admirable goal, but not at the cost of throwing out who you are as a person to simply pursue this goal. Trying too hard to become a Helper of the game ultimately doesn’t help you or the game that much. The best Helpers simply grow into the position, even before they apply. Staff members typically already have an aptitude for the position they hold. GoldRock: Why have you become so involved in Tanki i.e. why do you like it so much? MarineMan2: For me, it’s because the game is fun and accessible. I can play it anywhere on almost any computer. Though beyond this, I derive the most value from our English community environment. The people of TO are my favorite part of TO. The opportunity to interact with intellectuals from around the globe is exciting to me. GoldRock: Where d’you think you’ll be going from here? MarineMan2: Well nowadays I visit from time to time just to get in the game, or maybe simply poke around the forum I’ve grown to love. I have been scoping out the deal with Tanki X, and you might find me doing some work there. The closed beta testing has proved TX will be really fun and interesting, so getting involved with community there should be awesome. GoldRock: Last but not least, is it true that back in your newbie days to the forum, you used to sign off your posts in the awesomely cool manner shown below? MarineMan2: Haha, thanks for bringing up that ugly bit of my past, Goldy. Yep, it’s true, and it was kind of ironic considering I was doing so in a series of posts designed to display my ability to the administration... A series of posts which all stood in violation of a rule that identified signatures as spam. GoldRock: But please, the banter was real even if you were a slight noob at the time... Anyway, joking aside, thanks for taking part in this interview! ;) MarineMan2: I knew you'd appreciate the honor. Anytime. Did you enjoy this article? Check out the rest of Issue 53 right here!

"Tankers are the centre of Tanki Online - no, seriously. Without them, this game wouldn't exist - it'd just be a bunch of random people playing a PvP battle to pass time in their office, while their boss admonishes them to get on with some useful work instead. And indeed, Tankers make this game what it is, constituting the core of it. In battles, tankers are the ones who go earn the crystals, and tankers most certainly are the ones who slug it out in the arena to gain a new rank. They do enjoy a really powerful position in the game (more than Semyon, yes! He's just one person compared to you seventy thousand-ish!). But sometimes, they do get carried away. Overreacting to something is the biggest blunder a tanker can make. It affects his own gameplay, as well as that of other tankers. Nothing is stress-free. Errors and misgivings tend to present themselves at every corner of one's experience. What one really needs, is to know how to respond to these errors - or let's say, simply the wrong circumstances. And therefore, @sonofchrysalis3 and I originally planned this series to benefit the community and help them enhance their decision-making ability, make them react on the spur of the moment, and above all, to help them play the game better!" ~ @TriNitroToIuene "ok since soc3's gone here's my chance to steal this series and claim it as my own!!" ~ @GoldRock You're in the midst of the action of a high-intensity battle... when suddenly, everyone starts driving into walls and spinning around randomly. WHAT TO DO @TriNitroToIuene 1.) The best thing you can do is wait for the lag to pass over. Drive as less as possible - the less you move about, the less your computer will have to catch up - hence, most of the times, you'll remain inside the battle instead of getting kicked out. 2.) Refresh the battle - if lag is caused at your end, refreshing is the best possible solution to it as you can quickly rejoin the battle from where you left off, and lag will cease (for the time being!) 3.) If you're afraid to refresh your computer, use the lag to your advantage! If you're not worried about getting kicked out, you can go drive all the way to the enemy flag while in the lag state. When your game comes back to normal, you'll end up just near the flag while all the others will see is you teleporting! There you go, a Tanki Life Hack. WHAT NOT TO DO @GoldRock X Run around like a headless chicken. Whilst panicking as your favourite game ever grinds to a devastating halt may be a perfectly natural reaction, try not to take out your distress on your surroundings. It's generally a good idea to keep your computer monitor intact, so that you can actually use it once the lag's over. X Leave the battle (if you wish to keep your score). If you click the little 'x' in the corner in an attempt to re-join the battle, your score will be reset. Instead, it's a better idea to wait a few minutes and/or refresh the page. Re-opening another window with the battle link would work too, since your score is kept for up to 5 minutes if you leave the window so long as you don't actively leave the battle itself. X Rage about it in the in-game chat or on the forum. Whilst lag can be very annoying and is sometimes the fault of the server, it won't count as a good excuse if you're caught being profane afterwards! You're in a high-octane team battle where everyone needs to put in their best to pull of a victory. The problem is, nobody seems to want to co-operate. WHAT TO DO @TriNitroToIuene 1.) Carry on. If you feel you can more than make up for the mult, go on and play your natural battles. Ignoring such people is the best way of getting past them. Don't let them distract you, and just focus on the game. This is called natural therapy. 2.) Tell them to stop - sometimes the best approach to stopping a mult is being frank about it - tell them that his lack of activity or even his M0 combination is harming the team, with no personal benefits of his/her own. Sometimes these mults listen to you, sometimes they don't. But if they do, it's good for everyone. 3.) Report the mult. Multing and sabotage are punishable by the Tanki Rules. You can do this by either getting more than half your team to use the /vote command, or reporting the offender manually in the Game Violations section with adequate proof in the form of a screenshot or video. Let the mult get the punishment he/she deserves. etc. WHAT NOT TO DO @GoldRock X Take up the bait. Possibly the worst thing you could do is to be distracted by the mult, and to vent your frustration by starting some sort of 'tank-pushing' fight with said mult whilst the battle continues around you. Equally, don't waste your time shouting about it in the chat. Keep playing, else you'll just effectively become a mult yourself! X Lose your temper. Again, even if the multing has clearly been planned by members of the other team, it's not a good idea to respond by being insulting and/or profane in the chat, even if your long hard-fought battle is being ruined. You'll just be risking a ban, and the mult will have succeeded in ruining your playing experience even more. X Mult back. I've seen numerous drug wars involving clans where one clan planted mults in the opposite side's team, so the other clan did the same in retaliation. Whilst you can try to justify this on 'an eye for an eye' grounds, rule-breaking is never justification for more rule-breaking. Don't sink to their level. Two wrongs don't make a right, after all. You're just chillin' in a casual Polygon DM... and the man himself decides to make an entry. A whole new gameplay experience is just about to start. WHAT TO DO @TriNitroToIuene 1.) Run from the battle, or else take a heavy hull. If you face the might boss with Wasp, you will get rekt. Badly. A heavy hull gives you more chances of actually killing him. Additionally, take a selfie with him (a candid one, mind) and post it all over the forums. You will get famous. 2.) Try and use mines as much as possible. Now, it isn't known whether Godmode_ON's new paint protects him from mines or not, but if it doesn't, a few well placed mines will kill him off immediately. Just pummel him with all you've got. 3.) Steal kills from him! While he is pound/ing other people, you can simply take a Thunder/Smoky and finish the kill, while Godmode_ON rages on and then gets a Thunder XXT which deals double damage. Also, if you take Firebird and shoot at the huddle centred around Godmode_ON (you know he plays only DMs), you won't kill him as his paint is immune to Fire and Freeze, but you can quickly kill off all the tanks which swarm in to attack him. Keep an eye out for that triple gold! etc. WHAT NOT TO DO @GoldRock X Freeze. Or overreact, for that matter. It's a really rare occasion and quite the 'omg' moment, but remember to have fun and keep your playing head on for when he finally gets destroyed and three gold boxes drop. He usually stays in a battle until that happens and then leaves; which means that if he's joined your battle, it's your lucky day. Enjoy the unique gameplay involved in trying to take him down, and then prepare yourself to hopefully get some crystals in the subsequent golden shower! X Send him a friend request. Alright, so this is a minor point and you could do this one if you want, I've heard of very rare cases where such requests were actually accepted... but many tankers have tried it and most of the time, they are completely ignored. Save a few seconds of your time, accept that you're probably not going to be able to hunt him down very effectively, and (my wider point here) have fun playing the game without obsessing about stalking him too much! X Leave the battle. ... ...it was a one-in-a-million event, one of the game's most awesome and exciting moments, and yet some have still passed it up. What were they thinking?! Aaaand that rounds off the second guide in this series. Hopefully, our words of wisdom have provided you with a bit of secure knowledge of what to do in any of these situations. If you have any comments or suggestions for this series, such as what we could cover next, please do comment below with your feedback and ideas! Until next time... Goldy and TNT, signing off.

It's equally against the rules to impersonate a moderator, you know...

aw nug you just had to knock me out of bronze position didn't you

OK, so we’ve all heard it before. Playing Tanki all day is why you don’t go outside enough, why your grades are falling and basically the root of all evils in the world. But this simply isn’t true. There are a myriad of reasons why playing Tanki is actually good for you, which I’ll be exploring in this article using rigorous scientific methods and irrefutable logic. Be warned. Show this to any annoying parent to have them falling at your feet and begging you to forgive them for their preposterous lies. This article may just change your life.* *Disclaimer: In no way, shape or form is the author implying that this article will definitely change your life. In spite of both the awesomeness of this article and the author himself, the author regretfully acknowledges that this article will likely be forgotten by most readers about a few minutes after they finish reading it. Your loss, guys. Anyway, without further ado... 1. Tanki is good for your health Numerous studies have revealed the health benefits of a good dosage of Tanki Online on a daily basis. As Prof. S Yu-Do Siuns put it: ”The health benefits of playing Tanki are evident. Users report an increase in finger muscle strength of up to 2% after just a few months of playtime, as well as a 0.00001 second average decrease in eye rotation times. As per Darwinian natural selection, these physical improvements enjoyed by many Tanki players are bound to ensure that they are more likely than others to survive and populate the Earth with their offspring. Based on these findings, we estimate that the Tanki playerbase will outcompete the rest of humanity and make up the entire world population by the year 201,756. But it’s not just these immensely powerful physical advantages that Tanki’s playerbase gains. Tanki trains the mind, honing players’ reflexes and their ‘fight-or-flight’ reaction systems. Heck, kids would process stuff so much slower if they weren’t continuously tested by having to switch tabs every time their parents walk into their room to check their homework progress.” A typical Tanki Online player living a healthy lifestyle. When asked to comment on whether homework was a better mental training method than Tanki, the Professor ingeniously pointed out that like the rest of the world, homework doesn’t actually have a conclusively proven existence beyond the mind and so we can’t be sure that it isn’t just an illusion planted on Earth by the Devil to force millions to sacrifice valuable Tanki-playing time. The Devil has so far not responded to our requests for comment on the matter. 2. Tanki improves your social skills Have you ever wondered what you would do without Tanki? Well, wonder no more – you would slowly wither away as you scream in agony for just one more battle until you’re destroyed. OK sorry that turned dark quite quickly, of course you’d respawn. Anyway, moving on… Social skills are at the heart of what Tanki is. Players charge around the battlefield, furiously typing “go out mult!!!11” and the still more famous “gold box admin pls” into their chat windows. Every once in a while, everyone in the Tanki playerbase will witness and even partake in their very own highly sophisticated and complex Russian discussions, spouting ‘ro’s and ‘cton’s until they sound like truly native speakers. Yet another enlightened conversation unfolds on the forum. Without Tanki, many of us would be doomed to non-Tanki-isms, normal mind-controlling ways of communication enforced upon societies by authoritarian government agencies called schools. Without Tanki, we would be forced to say “You’re a bit stupid” instead of “hy6” and “That was a great match!” instead of “gg”. Without Tanki, we wouldn’t have expanded our vocabularies with such diverse colloquialisms, nor witnessed the awe-inspiring grammar abilities of our peers. Without Tanki, life would be a little less worth living for all. (Yes, you’re free to cry after reading that heart-wrenchingly emotional speech – just make sure you type “afk” and/or “-1” before you run to get the box of tissues) 3. Tanki leads to higher grades Yes, contrary to what your parents say, Tanki can actually have a positive effect on your performance at school. Think about it... the actual gameplay involves the use of players' cognitive functions in a wide variety of different ways. For example, players often have to count how many players are on each team before starting in XP/BP battles (extremely advanced arithmetic skills), as well as being required to read and interpret complex words such as "Play", "Battles" and even the nightmarish "Generelasisimo". Considering the intellectual challenges that face tankers around every twist and turn of Tanki's user interface, it's no wonder that many Tanki players' academic abilities increase dramatically over the years. In fact, in almost every instance, players who start playing the game at around 10 years old whilst undergoing primary-level education report significant improvements in their academic abilities after just a few years, with many even having progressed onto expert institutions such as 'high schools' and beyond! In fact, looking at us Reporters, the vast majority who are of high-school ages have indeed progressed through the various academic 'grades' at high school, often even as fast as one grade per year. Unfortunately, @Night-Sisters lets us down since she doesn't go to the expert institution of high school, preferring to just sit around at home all day (completely irrefutable evidence below): ...but there's always going to be at least one anomaly, eh? 4. Tanki boosts your emotional intelligence Gold box raging, forum trolling and flame wars. Tanki is a microcosm of the society in which we live today, the perfect sandbox (ba dum tssss) for young and eloquent Tanki-playing individuals to gain an experience of the emotional conflicts that exist in the world around us. Remember the first time you so nearly caught that gold box. but were out-ninjaed by some heartless tanker stealing it as your tank blew up into a million pieces of sorrow and despair? Well, in the heat of the moment, you have since learnt to control your rage. You have learnt to master it, and to use it to your advantage. To channel your adrenaline into tearing up the battlefield as you take the glory for yourself. You are unstoppable. Whilst the above may not be true for less able players such as @greyat, @Remaine and @greyat, you get the general idea. Although, such less able players often get there fair share of emotional experiences when it comes to the less noble activities of 'trolling' and 'flaming'. Trying to keep cool in the intense situations of the game's forum can be a challenge in itself, something that quite a few players don't always quite manage to achieve. But no matter. What really matters is the emotional experience. A forever ban, for example, might be a slight inconvenience for approximately forever, but I'm sure any tanker would tell you it was totally worth it because of all the emotionalness if they were actually able to tell you, that is. An example of the emotional rollercoasters Tanki's players experience on a day-to-day basis. Tanki Online has (probably) created some enjoyable and frustrating memories in equal measure for many tankers, and this has arguably led to an extremely emotionally aware and sensitive playerbase. Comments such as "hy6", "go out mult" and "gg" epitomise the struggles and joys of the everyday player. 5. Tanki reduces prejudice and discrimination There are many obvious parallels between Martin Luther King Jr’s vision and the Tanki environment. In his famous "I Have a Dream" speech, MLK went on to proclaim... - “…that all men are created equal”; similarly, all tanks start on a level playing field, with the basic Hunter/Smoky combination being the origins of every tanker’s life, - “…they will not be judged by the colour of their skin but the content of their character”; players, uhm... are not judged by the colour of their paint, but by their skill on the battlefield? and, - ...and the list could go on for like, forever (what d'you mean I must've run out of ideas no I haven't). From all of these ground-breaking examples, it's clear that Tanki fosters tolerance. Just ignore the slight issues with hackers and mults, the often destructively competitive atmosphere of battles where the less experienced are put down and supply users ostracised, the huge number of rule violations thanks to immature and disrespectful actions... and it's quite obvious that the game's atmosphere is one of friendship and happiness, merely disguised behind a pretext of war, destruction and Russians hurling insults at each other. We love each other, really! Even better, female players are specifically catered for in terms of Tanki's Garage (in particular, a range of modifications and upgrades for light hulls w/ Isida and In Love are on offer), and the helpful instructions about how to turn your turret available at the top of the game windo(cough)(splutter) No but on a serious note, maybe, just maybe... the stereotypes are incorrect. A typical example of the elusive 'female tanker' wearing her favourite paint. 6. Tanki is a form of alternative medicine ​Now, I know I addressed the health benefits of Tanki in the first point – but what if you suddenly fall ill, and have to stay off school and play Tanki? Tragic as such a situation often is, many younger players of the game seem to experience this time and again. However, recent scientific research has affirmed the healing powers of Tanki Online beyond the norm. Prof. S Yu-Do Siuns is back... ”It is a well-known fact that many of Tanki's players might play a battle or two when they claim to be 'ill'. Working with this information, our advanced studies have shown that many cases, players who fall ill and play Tanki end up going back to school the next day. In fact, extend the time period to a few weeks or a month, and the proportion of such players returning to school fit and healthy is close to 100%. Based on this revolutionary discovery, it would seem that playing Tanki is an effective method of rest and recovery, especially when players are forced to miss out on their beloved education." "How are Tanki's healing powers so wonderfully magical?!", we hear you cry. But the real question you should be asking is "How didn't we see this before?". Yes, that's right - based on our resident Professor's advanced studies, it would appear to be blindingly obvious that a good dose of Tanki is indeed a great way to recover from any ailment. Suffering from a common cold? Got a headache you just can't seem to shake? Indigestion ruining your day? A 60-minute dose of Tankeopathy™ will restore the natural harmony and balance within the self!* *Tankeopathy™ operates on a non-refundable, 'don't-ask-don't-expect-answers-even-though-we-definitely-know-what-we're-talking-about' basis. All we can say is the more you spend on crystals in-game, the more likely the dose is to be effective. Any instance in which Tankeopathy™ does not seem to work as a form of alternative medicine is merely a strong indication that you need to purchase more crystals. 7. Tanki teaches fiscal responsibility ​ Anyone with a basic grasp of economics knows that currency must be saved in order to purchase the stuff you desire. Similarly, the Tanki Online's in-game economy encourages players to adopt a balanced attitude of saving and spending crystals in order to make the most effective purchases. 'Tankinomics' clearly has some invaluable links with real life. Imagine a young tanker striving for that dream combo: Mammoth/Isida M0. So he earns crystals by joining 999 minute battles with his other-dream combo Wasp/Shaft M0 and staying in them until everyone else has left and the timer runs down, meaning he can take the glorious funds in the 10s of crystals all for himself. After a solid few years of hard work and admirable effort, he finally manages to save up the 1,600 crystals he needs. His fingers buzzing, he types in his username and password the next day to log into Tanki only to see that his account has been blocked for foul play and buys his dream combination, roaming an empty Dusseldorf battle in a peacefully quiet EN server happily ever after. This is a beautiful example of fiscal responsibility. The saving up of crystals, the accumulation of a tanker's efforts, to reach his or her goals. Seconds later, the tanker's Dusseldorf bliss was torn apart by dozens of invading crystal-buyers, able to pursue instant gratification at a swipe of their mothers' credit cards. Fiscal responsibility at its finest. Need I say more? 8. Tanki proves that the Illuminati is real 9. If you board a plane and decide to jump off it for fun and forget to take your parachute with you and as you hurtle towards impending doom you suddenly realise your situation has become not-so-fun, Tanki will fix that too, right? No sorry, only Red Bull gives you wings. And last but not least... 10. Tanki gives you a new start in life Picture this. You’re a master criminal, hiding away from civilisation as a result of your heinous crime. You open your laptop, click on Microsoft Edge (which happens to actually be a good browser for playing Tanki I’ll have you know), and as your tired fingers shake, you type the following into the address bar: http://www.tankionline.com Bam! Your opponents are torn apart by your mighty equipment and skill on the battlefield. Gone are the times when you worried about the pain of the outside world, gone are the days where you couldn’t sleep as you imagined the horrors they’d put you through for stealing that 99p packet of Haribo Sugar Free Gummy Bears from the local corner store, gone are the memories of the gruelling years you subsequently spent on the run from international police forces. As you launch into another ferocious battle, it’s just you and the game that matters now. Tanki provides refuge for all. It’s a place where one can start out from being a lowly Recruit, with nothing to his or her name, and then spend years building up an image of integrity and pro-ness. Forge new friendships, work your way towards higher ranks and superior equipment, immerse yourself in the epic fun that is Tanki – your experience of the game is entirely up to you. A game is often defined by its players, and Tanki is no different. Postscript: In memory of Lieutenant General I_Didn’t_Do_It_I_Swear, the brave tanker who was presumably finally hunted down and captured by the authorities for his Gummy Bear thieving exploits all those years ago. The last he was heard of, his parents could be heard shouting in the background of his Teamspeak call because his dinner was getting cold. It’s been 30 minutes, and he hasn’t returned since.

52 over here... but just wait till some female players see this xD

Excellent stuff... your grammar isn't perfect, but brilliant poem all the same!

ok, as requested: http://vocaroo.com/i/s07yy9OygzKz

d3s

Looks like the RU team'll be clear favourites, but good luck EN/DE!

Due to be released in Issue 51 apparently because he's a mult

lol

well this went well

Mods pls close ty

Think about it?

I wouldn't change a thing.

stalker Pho's voice is just too pro so I'm currently in a state of shock. I'll post as soon as I recover, hopefully within the next few days.

The winners will be announced today when the next issue is released. I've also typed up all the correct solutions, and will be PMing all entrants once the results are out with some individual feedback ^_^ (UPDATE) The next issue will now most likely be released on Sunday afternoon, and so the results will be out then.

Note that entries will no longer be accepted after half an hour from now! If you're yet to enter and wish to do so, enter by PMing me ASAP!

Yep, entrants have to work hard to get a top prize - although, keep in mind that if you get above the limit (10/12) you automatically receive a crystal prize from the main doubled prize pool, no matter how others have done.

Whilst there are no longer official limits, of course age would be a factor taken into account for the chat moderator position...

What's unfortunate about that?

To be clear - scores will not be released until the next issue, when I will name the winners and their scores as well as PMing all other entrants with a score and brief comment.

The questions apply to the same arguments.

UPDATED! N.B. My use of 'logical fallacy' (or logical flaw) in these questions concerns formal logical error - when used, I am not enquiring about the truth of the statements made, but only about whether the argument logically follows. This means that the only question potentially concerning the truth or falsehood of statements made is Question 2 - all others ask about logical issues, not whether any of the statements are true or false. My arguments are also made up of statements (premises), and conclusions inferred from these premises are clearly indicated by a ∴ (literally meaning 'therefore') symbol. Also note that you will do better if you focus on submitting more correct answers than if you focus on answering quickest. Your score will be considered first and foremost - only where two or more entrants get equal scores will the order of submission then mean anything. Whilst this could affect whether you get a prize or not, you definitely need to get some answers correct to have any chance in the first place! Remember: Your answers should be submitted by PMing me. Do NOT post the answers here. Good luck, everyone!