Edits: Changed leary to leeryApproved! Really like how this is coming along! gg ^_^

*searches frantically for a sample text about why ppl should vote for us* crap, nothing. lol out loud I support this campaign. and pls, I think a presidential election is discriminating against all the countries with a prime minister. As the running mate of a British candidate, I think it's only fair that I point that out. ty

Mult. Mult. Living a dissolute life and waking up in a sewer every day is also a way of life. But it's not necessarily a good one :x :P Ah alrighty, fair enough. xD

Thank you for speaking to the Doe Alumni yesterday evening. We are grateful for the time and effort you took to share your thoughts and experiences with the Doe Development office. Since we are entering a new growth phase on our campus, your comments were very timely. I believe we can benefit immediately from the methods you suggested for recruiting more members. Your enthusiasm is contagious, and we hope to use your suggestions in our next campaign. Thank you again for your contribution. adri 4 president

4

- Edits: A couple grammar edits. Commas and the like BD changed "hammering away at his apple mac" to "tapping away" because "hammering sounds too violent to be described as a soothing metronome". no idea how he did that considering he's officially retired :^) Capitalised Apple Mac I stuck with your, um, unconventional font cause it seemed as if you made an intentional choice to use it. Interested to know why though... .__. lol Approved I'm assuming this is the first part of what'll turn out to be a story or something? If so, it'll be interesting to see how you develop the plot while sticking with your very descriptive style. Keep it up! ^_^

yuss, someone teach me some English too pls. :ph34r:

No edits :ph34r: can't imagine why. Approved! mults

Edits: - you had put SIr instead of Sir in one instance; that's literally the only thing. You can't believe how much I love approving articles by people like you... :lol:. Approved! Whewwwww, well done. Perfectly written honestly. Can't wait for the rest of it. ^_^

js, Return to Castle Wolfenstein is a classic. I remember staying up hours past my bedtime secretly watching my bro play it :ph34r:. And those zombies tho... made quite the impression on my six year old self. lol

in a few days you'll see a new animated paint in my garage...

yus, and include your experience bar and nickname in the pics please :ph34r:. we wanna know who this mystery person is.

Quitting forever would leave you with the prospect of actually having to undertake lifing. I'm not sure anyone is quite ready for that. :ph34r:

I personally upload my pictures to tinypic.com. It's probably not the easiest method, but it works if don't need to post many pics. Just upload your picture, copy the direct link for layouts, and then paste it in the image box on the forum. :)

Greetings mults. As a newly accepted reporter, and consequently a vastly superior human being to you common folk, I think it's time I write a satirical post with an inordinate amount of big words and strikethroughs impart my wellspring of wisdom to your deprived and thoroughly incompetent selves. As any experienced forum-goer can tell you, the pinnacle of forum popularity is reached only by those of the utmost ability -- the most humorous, the most sophisticated, the most skilled basically, not mydoom.exe. Being a part of the elite few requires dedication and a teacher able to explain the nuances of life itself otherwise known as the Tanki forum. Let's begin. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 1. Say "ok" a lot "ok" is an instant joke. It's a guaranteed success for people lacking the needed confidence to make regular jokes. Additionally, it can be used as a snappy response to any nay-sayers that call you out. Observe how I use it to deflect any potential embarrassment that could have arisen from this awkward situation. haters gonna say it's photoshopped 2. formatting and grammer is optional Finding the right balance between not using grammar and formatting while still coming across as intelligent is a difficult task that varies from person to person. You don't want to appear dependant on grammar -- you're too cool for that obviously. But let it be known that you know the rules of grammar and are consciously breaking them. Capitalisation optional. End punctuation should be used, as your spectacular thoughts would be illegible without it. Avoid Trebuchet MS and size 14 like the plague. That's reserved for reporters and reporter wannabes. They're mults. 3. Say "amk" a lot No one actually knows what this means, but all the cool people use it. As such, you should incorporate it into your vocabulary as much as possible. Its uses are varied, but it's most often applied in potentially awkward situations (much like "ok"). Tankers wishing to particularly advance their forum credentials can also append a series of h's to the end of their post. don't ask me why. I didn't make these stupid rules. 4. Correct people periodically to display your intelligence For the most part, you should assume an air of indifference on the forum. Acting cool is cool. But doing so won't further your reputation as an intelligent cool person, which, after all, is your ultimate goal. Hence the corrections. When choosing your victims, you should be certain that they're above average in intelligence and well-versed in English which rules the reporters out, sorry. Correcting simpletons like Mydoom.exe isn't considered something worthy of striving for in our community. Pity. The ideal targets would be official helpers, well-known forum members, and especially reporters. And always, always make the corrections in public. Contacting the victim in private will snatch away your hard-earned publicity. It's not as if you actually care that there's a mistake, you just want to look as if you're smart. pffft prime example of how this is done Disclaimer: when finding things to critique, you may stumble across pieces of satire scattered throughout the forum. Alas, sometimes it's hard to distinguish the satire from a potential correcting opportunity. Tread carefully. Being deceived by satire and writing up a scathing correction post is potentially ruinous for aspiring cool forumers like yourself. But if you do judge too early and get called out by someone, never fear. Just consult the strategies we've already discussed in this guide. an exemplary response. Note how well the situation was handled. 5. Only associate with fellow cool people Let's say you currently get along swimmingly with some *ehm* less-than-cool individuals. It's time to give them up. Sacrifices must be made on the road to popularity, and if a couple of old friends have to be set aside to reach your goal, don't hesitate. The fault is really theirs for not striving to reach the same objective as you. The subtle art of name dropping should become second nature to you. Whether or not you actually are close to the popular people, you can become so by acting as if you're one of the group. Like my good friend Nives once said to me in our PMs on Skype, "Name dropping is like Adele's voice, you just can't get enough". :ph34r: But the trouble with popular people is that they often aren't overly eager to endure conversations with random cool-people-wannabes. If this is the case, just ask them loads of questions and cleverly slip their answers into forum posts. Remember to mention their name! Of course, we both know that Viking is not, in fact, your bestie, but no one else has to know that. shhhh the actual conversation 6. Pretend to be active in eSports What this entails is joining a clan and then harassing every other clan in the community. Confront them with grossly exaggerated or downright untrue claims, and provoke them to flame wars without actually settling anything on the battlefield. I've created a sample text to aid you in this. "hhh dead clan... all m0s)) *insert name of a member* always digging for golds. close this topic please you never actually do anything loool amk" Copy that and post it in every clan and club in the eSports section. 7. Don't be, in any way like mydoom.exe Out mult. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Congratulations, you're now well on your way to being popular and funny on the forum. Stay tuned for more how to guides in the future. There may be some tips on being cool in-game next issue. plz like and subscribe

That moment when GrandExecutioner has had more content featured in the newspaper than like half of the reporter team. :ph34r:

waw adriel are you INSULTING my writing?! please get off this page or i will be forced to take legal action against you.

Grats to Gee and Grand for taking top prizes!

All the best, Gee! (homeschooled and a soccer player... you can't get much better than that lol)

I think they're referring to the AWC archive topic which lists all the writers past and present and their writings. Link We def wouldn't remove any of the articles from the archives themselves. except for maybe the ones flabs wrote.

-Added a space after a comma -Changed font to trebuchet, size 14 Approved I'm not sure how you managed to keep that engaging. The setting is kinda boring, and it's not exactly a gripping story. :lol: Impressive skills^^ Looking forward to the next instalments. also, you didn't put links to your other articles. I'm kinda annoyed cause I was hoping to read some of them lol

Taylor Swift TS, chill m8. It's a tournament, and it's never been done before. I think that qualifies it as a new tournament. :mellow: lol oh whoops, misread your comment :3. jus ignore this. love ya

Hi, if you continue posting I will be forced to send you a cease and desist letter and seek legal action. Thank you. please liek my clan page For anyone interested, there's a new tournament being held. It's not necessarily a clan tourney, so anyone can actually join. We're thinking of maybe submitting a team. You need to be Brigadier or higher and active on Sundays. If you're interested, PM me on Discord or reply here. People who've shown interest @Magenta @rishabhhaunt also no e-sports checker is needed (party)

eee I have to disagree. :unsure: Taking into account the setting and narrator, I think the style is spot on. It feels like I'm reading a short story by a high-school student in America, at the moment, which I assume is Gee's intention. Had he cluttered up the story with long, fancy words, it would've diminished the realistic feel of it. Critics do appreciate description and vivid words, but in this case, preserving the "typical highschooler" (albeit a rich one) style should take priority over creating a Dickensian, description-is-everything word-fest. Also, there's something to be said for uncluttered stories now and then imo. There's a reason Ernest Hemingway became famous. lol I guess it mostly comes down to personal preference in the end though. ^_^

Nah, a point is best made if it's not stated outright sometimes. Stick with the more subtle approach.