Greetings, readers! Here at the Tanki Online newspaper press, we are passionate about providing you with information on all the latest updates, turrets, hulls, maps, contests, anything related to the community or game, and you can trust us to cover it all. But the Newspaper isn't all about boring facts and figures. What about the stuff that's been going on behind your backs this month? Here at the Dictator, we fill in where the rest of the paper does not, delivering you shocking news stories and fresh rumors direct from the battle-lines. Enjoy! Hog: And we're back. Let me quickly sum up this month for all those who haven't been keeping up with things. 31 Days. 744 hours. 44640 minutes. 2678400 position-Fen-finishes-in-a-game-s. It might take you a second to see what I did there. Oh, and Thought of the Day for you to mull over, sent in from an anonymous reader, location unknown but probably not Earth. "Life isn't life until you've experienced an underwater asteroid eating Isida-Mammoths in your small intestine." Kev was kidnapped by the FBI and was unable to write this message. His below entry was sent via his pet fish, Albert. Fen: Who would've thought I'd stick around for another issue. Either way, the Dictator is here with the latest news... literally as it's being written 30 minutes before the deadline... Ditching Shaft: A new weight-loss technique hits the Interwebs! By @hogree We all know losing weight is all the rage nowadays. Having a good body and all that. Got to keep that half-visible-two-pack-when-you-tense-under-bright-light look. However, Tanki's got its own regime set out for those trying to get that perfect body. As a report stated in the popular Tanki magazine Server 1 Banter, going cold turkey off Shaft might help! According to avid psychologist Phoenix-Warbird, using Shaft places the internal belief in players' minds that they are actually campers in real life. Let's imagine how this situation might pan out. You go on Tanki, play Shaft for an hour. Log off. Go out to the park. Your mates start playing a game of football. You stand there and start sniping them with an imaginary gun. Ok, scratch that. Let's imagine another situation. You go on Tanki, play Shaft for an hour. Log off. Go to the gym. Your mates start having a go on the bench. But your brain convinces you that all you need to do to succeed in life is sit somewhere and watch people. So you sit down and watch. And put on weight. And take that further. Your Shaft could affect more than just your weight. Think of how you'd get along with a Shaft in real life. For me, the conversation would go a bit like this. "Hi." "Hi." *walk away slowly* *turn 90 degrees* *turn another 90 degrees* *turn 180 degrees* *run and punch in the face* Do you really want to be the Shaft among your mates? Come on dude. So what's the answer? Simple. Stop using Shaft. It makes you unhealthy, lazy and if you think you can attempt to lose weight, you'd be better off working in the chicken department of KFC. Drop the lazy machine and get that look you've been craving for. 'Cause you're worth it. Q&A helps everything but friendship: mythical friends in a less-than-mythical duel By @Kevred Normal morning of a regular Saturday night during a typical week. Lordmostafa yawns, scratches his hairy chest, puts on his favorite pair of bunny slippers and opens his computer. As he stuffs a chicken drumstick into his mouth, he types in the web address of Tanki Online into Chrome, ready for yet another session of lagging. Suddenly, his mouth falls open and pieces of chicken fall onto the keyboard as he sees the main page news. New Q&A site has been launched! His computer then crashed as a result of chicken pieces getting stuck in the cooling vent, immediately turning his big smile upside-down. Of course, Mostafa does not eat chicken (to the dismay of Mr. Hog) and does not have chest hair, so that story could not have happened. However, it is what many tankers can relate to, the day of the launch of the long-awaited site. Unfortunately, not all players were satisfied. One particular individual went to such extremes as to post, “i hav sem family hostage. he giv 9999 crys, m3 gargage, gold bill and delete qna site”. Strangely, the post was edited into “tanki are awesome” at 15:34 UTC, which is around the time MarineMan2 comes online. Nevertheless, he was handed a one-day ban along with an English dictionary. The same MarineMan2 then proceeded to provoke Mostafa in a duel, after the two of them got into a fight about who was the most helpful on QnA. Upon entering the Sandbox CTF, MM2 officially debuted with “The map ain’t big enough for the two of us.” Fortunately, they however both agreed reporter Fen-Harel was small enough to fit in, so he was able to give us a full-on report of the legendary duel. The first phrase of said report consists of: “MM2 shoot 1.22 seconds after moving at 3.2224m/s to the middle of the axis of the square root…” Cutting out the math, we obtain: “Mosty lag he fly over map then get kicked for foul play hhhh” As such, MM2 won the duel with hands tied behind his back. Lead-detective snipe3000 is currently investigating rumours that MM2 would have bribed Mostafa’s WiFi provider with chicken. He will get on the case as soon as he finishes a Sponge Bob TV marathon. Stay tuned. Questions and Answers help page is now open, featuring questionable answers By @Fen-Harel The Q&A is now separate from the forum while still remaining on the forum. Yes, we have a new page dedicated specifically to answering the toughest question about the game, life and everything. On the very first week the page was open it got filled with mind bending questions which were tackled by Tanki's own best and brightest... and @MarineMan2. Featured question is of course "How to get a girlfriend" posted by an anonymous person The Dictator suspects is in some contact with @GoldRock. Naturally many players gave their advice in hopes of helping out, with useful tips such as "Don't use Mammoth, it makes you look fat. Try Hornet" and "Buy Isida and In Love and heal her all the time, it won't look awkward or weird at all". However nothing seemed to be effective enough and the players desperately went to the camping help page moderator MM2. Unfortunately MM2 didn't have enough experience in the matter if any at all, and redirected the anonymous user TheRockofGold to @I.LoveYouGoldRock. Our sources wrote down the answer on a piece of paper and sent it to The Dictator headquarters immediately. Hog quickly dropped his chicken and started reading the message which said the following: "Don't be a nug. P.S. I'm not GoldRock." Hog, while baffled and confused, calmly picked up his chicken again and passed the message down to the anonymous TheRockofGold, but it appears he wasn't satisfied with the answer. Rumors say that after he returns to Tanki he'll spend his time searching for the two wise sages I.LoveYouGoldRock and I.LoveYouFen-Harel all over the RU1 server. No one is quite sure when these mysterious figures appear, but it's been reported that they met once in the RU1 server, expert witness @Remaine had this to say: "Gold, Fen, stop fooling around. Block, get back to quitting Tanki for 6 months. Arm Rest, start finishing your two months late article." So it would seem the notorious question will remaine unanswered for now. All we can do is hope someone comes up with a I3rilliant idea until Goldnug forms a search expedition. P.S. I'm not an Arm Rest, Remaine. Does Tanki encourage learning? Tests suggest yes! By @hogree cton ro hy6 look mum i learnt a new language!!!!!!!!!!!! If you want to read more from The Dictator, here are the news reports from previous months! July 2014 August 2014 September 2014 October 2014 November 2014 January 2015 February 2015

The ultimate troll.

Welcome to The Generalissimo's Handbook - a monthly column brand new to the Tanki Newspaper aimed at going past the baby-food and providing readers with advanced tips and techniques directed at those who have already reached a high standard in the game. As two Generalissimos ourselves, Fen and I have noticed over time the lack of information provided for those who are already accomplished players, even beyond Generalissimo, and are looking for new things to learn. In light of this, our intention through this new institution is to spur advanced players confident in their ability to improve, learn and ultimately become better players. At the same time, we hope to see less experienced players coming along here and learning some advanced tips to help them in their quest to improve. Before we begin, let's just run through the layout of the article this month. Two chosen tips, a video displaying some useful techniques and a question for Generalissimos - the first "trial edition" of this Handbook will be sure to include more in coming issues so feel free to jump down to the Ideas and Suggestions section at the end to leave your suggestions for the future of the Handbook! ►The Tips◄ Written by hogree I. The art of Feigning Inactivity A psychological trick, this technique is something I feel quite strongly about and has come to use for myself in many XP/BP Battles with experienced players. As all of us will know, Railgun has a charge. And as XP players will know, this means that anyone who is in "spawn-mode" as a ghost is vulnerable - since you can charge before they can. If you're the ghost, you're in trouble. In normal cases, you have a few options. You could let yourself get hit, ensuring that you only get hit on the front of your tank, not your side, to protect yourself from being flipped before getting a shot back. You could try and find cover - although this is difficult if there is an opponent in your base and able to see you. You could also ghost into players around you and pop out at your own timing so you can not only take their attention from your team but also so that they won't be able to time your spawn so easily. All three moves have good sides and ghosting is often the winner. However, let's say you're confronted by an opponent in your base who's too far away to ghost into and you're pretty confident there's no way you're gonna be able to dodge him. There is actually an option. Playing inactive. Simple technique which simply casts a doubt into your opponent's mind. If you don't move for a second after spawning as a ghost, many will start to think you may have suddenly gone inactive and thus save their shot or perhaps delay it in considering whether you are actually there. Using these precious seconds can often mean your opponent shoots just after you spawn enabling you to get the first shot in (and often flipping said opponent) or even them completely ignoring you and you being able to get a shot in. Sometimes, this will have to require a bit of skill on your part - often, if you're lined up already with them they will shoot you in protection, but those to your side will be more likely to think you are inactive. Thus, you will have to press Spacebar before doing a quick spin to get the shot in on them. Sometimes, it's simply a "not-making-your-presence" felt thing. Don't move unnecessarily - it attracts attention. Here's an example of such an occasion below in video. Although not a perfect illustration of the trick, It does show that not moving makes you less visible for opponents. Just make sure you always charge before you start moving your hull - otherwise the opponent will see your hull move, take a shot at you and you will move than likely flip. For all you "XP"ers, give it a go. Admittedly, sometimes it won't pay off - but it's worth the risk and does give you an extra playing card when you need it. II. Using your corpse Too many experienced tankers fall into the trap with the thought that you only have a role in the game when you are alive. Once you're dead, you're out of it. They couldn't be more wrong. Since day one, Tanki has always had a corpse - a dead tank that sits on the battlefield for a couple of seconds before disappearing. Using this hull is something that every experienced player needs to learn. Absolutely vital. Watching some StarSeries Battles, you can see games can change just by a single dead tank sitting in an annoying position on the battlefield (Of course, bear in mind that on the StarSeries server, the dead tank sits there for a much longer time due to extended respawns). Nonetheless, your positioning as you prepare for death can come in useful for your team. This tip is of course applicable for any game mode, so let's go with the camping Mammoth in a CTF. Your hull's position on the flag is vital to saving precious seconds for defence reinforcements to come in after you die. As you should know, it is easier to push a hull from the side than the front. Thus, whether you're alive or dead, make sure the front of your hull is facing the opponent shooting you. This means a heftier weight to get rid of and you can buy your team some time. Of course, anyone can use this tip and it's super useful for XP Battles too, even though you may think that it is better with the heavier tanks. One example for you to picture. You're running away in a Sandbox XP down the side of the map with the flag and you've just missed a shot. A Railgun has just spawned very close to you in the enemy base and is now driving after you and preparing to take a shot on you and get you killed. Your team-mate is a small distance away coming towards you and approaching for back-up. Now, some people at this stage would attempt a ludicrously hard dodge. But there is a wiser option. Drop the flag and move forward into the front of the Railgun chasing you. As you ram into him, you not only slow him down and buy your team-mate some time, but also use your corpse after exploding as a barrier between him and the flag. This gives your team-mate the time to grab the flag and make away. Obviously, there are other things you can do. Blocking escape routes for example and making sure your corpse sticks in the way so that they have to plan another route away from your base with the flag. However, do make sure that you be careful at how your corpse explodes and not jump on top of the opponent. This can be avoided by making sure you are ramming your hull into something at the time of explosion, for example, the opponent. This will lessen the effect of the explosion and mean your hull stays planted into the ground, creating a barrier rather than firing up into the air and becoming useless. On that note of making sure you keep your corpse in the ideal position, it's a good idea to turn in the direction you want to block a split-second before you die. This will mean your corpse won't already be in that position and thus be killed and shoved into the air, but move into that position - this helps to keep it planted and the barrier it can be. ►The Video◄ Created by Fen-Harel Welcome to the "Video" section of the Gen's Handbook. This video's focus is dodging and aiming. When the appropriate dodge should be used, what it involves and of course plenty of examples for your viewing pleasure. Aiming is just a slight addition as I see so many people waste their chance to make the appropriate shots. Slight additional advice - the "fast moving dodge" is more suited to Wasp, while the "sudden stop" is suited to Hornet. Enjoy. ►Question of the Month◄ The next initiative planned for this was an "Opinion" section with questions to other Generalissimos and interviews with top players for learning. This month, I simply directed a question to a few Generalissimos from the community as well at ourselves. The question was:"If you could give one piece of advice to aspiring Generalissimos, what would it be?" @emre-bmx: Nowadays, the most common way to show your skills, is to be a good XP player. XPs are fun and challenging. At the same time it is played and practised on the eSports and StarLadder, which can help you become famous and and can help you earn more crystals by winning tournaments. There are numerous tricks and types of play in this format, comparing to other Weapons. So playing with Hornet and Railgun is a way to a new world in TO. @Fen-Harel: Don't rush your way through the game to reach the Generalissimo rank. Play smart, think at least a few moves ahead. Be a player that people would like to join both with and against. : The advice that I would give will be - Becoming a Generallisimo doesn't mean you finish the game. In fact, it's just when you really start enjoying to the fullest, thinks of it as a man that just finished to grow up :) @hogree: Most would talk philosophy and the importance of playing Tanki well on a superficial level, but for me, the one thing I wish I had learnt earlier in my Tanki career was using your turret to your full advantage. Too many players fly up the ranks with turning their turret set aside solely for Railgun sniping and Shaft scope. That is utterly foolish. Learn how to turn your turret smoothly in gameplay. Don't press the arrows to adapt to your enemy's movement; learn turret control and make your way round the battlefield looking like a pro. @NOT-Insane: The advice I want to give to all aspiring generalissimos is to join a clan and stay there until the end - not change it every week as if it is a pair of trousers. Joining a clan makes you feel good and lets you experience the best feeling you can try in Tanki online. And also it lets you be able to show others your skills and to share the glory with your teammates. Respect the leader and the rest of the team and they will repay you by offering their friendship. :) ►The Q&A Session◄ As the first of this series, one major thought that led to the creation was the idea of creating a means by which where lower-ranked players could ask questions to experienced players for help regarding all the issues of gameplay in Tanki. So as part of this first-time-out edition, we decided to form a simple Q&A ability for all players to quiz us regarding issues that they feel experienced Generalissimos may be able to give light on or even just to see their opinion on certain subjects. Since this is the first time out, we will pick 5 Questions from those entered on the form below and each answer them next issue. So send your questions in! Enter your questions here ►Ideas and Suggestions◄ As a new initiative for the community, it's your call as to what we do in the future. Perhaps a neat new section - a short map review or combination summary. We would appreciate all ideas for this column - we want it to be as beneficial as possible to the community it is for. So below, we would like to request that you post all your ideas and suggestions for the future of the Handbook. Feedback is vital for its improvement. Thanks for reading. Hog & Fen

Smarter, actually. ;)

Great to see this guys, looking forward to see more of these involving different countries soon! Fighting for pride! Make sure you post the results when it takes place!

What a contest guys! Fantastic entries across the pages. Great skills and originality on show and some jawdropping drawings. Tough judging and an absolutely humongous battle for top spot, but finally the winners are ANNOUNCED! In 1st Position, winning a total of 40,000 Crystals, azimjon15! In 2nd Position, winning a total of 25,000 Crystals EACH, LaserShark and Phoenix-Warbird! In 3rd Position, winning a total of 15,000 Crystals, TURBO-NUKE! Due to several noteworthy entries, the judges have decided to add an extra "Prize" Selection among the Consolation Awards. [Entries Linked] Winning 10,000 Crystals: NOT-Insane, GoldRock, canadarules, opidude, GET_SHREKKED, AdustioAtqueDelerent Winning 5,000 Crystals: go53go2002, Likeyy, ghano_dz, akicat1, Sewegart, PeaceToAll Tough decisions all round. But thanks so much to all of you, especially those who didn't get prizes, for putting the time and effort into your drawings. Some of them were great, but the quality of the majority of entries did not allow them a spot in the prizes. Also, criteria demanded a Railgun-Hornet and some entries looked fantastic but didn't deliver on the requirements. In a few months' time, we may have another contest where you will have the opportunity to show off your artistic talents. So keep your eyes tuned on the Newspaper. Effort pays off. As for our winners, your crystals should reach you soon. There will be an announcement on this topic as soon as we know they have been sent through. Thanks again! A pleasure to judge.

No, I was gutted. xD

How old are you if you don't mind me asking werty?

And we're back where we've been before. The second finale. Time to close off the longest series to grace the paper - once again. Recent memories; treasured nonetheless. Let's take a trip down Memory Lane and enjoy some of the most action-packed months in the history of Tanki. I can assure you that we are well and truly going out with a bang. One last time, people? On your marks, Get Set... _____________________________________________ Previous articles in this series: Read Part 1 Here (Beginning - December 2009) Read Part 2 Here (January 2010 - June 2010) Read Part 3 Here (July 2010 - December 2010) Read Part 4 Here (January 2011 – June 2011) Read Part 5 Here (July 2011 – December 2011) Read Part 6 Here (January 2012 – June 2012) Read Part 7 Here (July 2012 - December 2012) Read Part 8 Here (January 2013 - June 2013) Read Part 9 Here (July 2013 - December 2013) Read Part 10 Here (January 2014 - June 2014) The Complete History of Tanki _____________________________________________ Kick-off in July, and Tanki's World Cup Celebrations are in full swing. Brazil paints everywhere (7-1 plz) and a pleasant atmosphere in the game. Only one month after Tanki's memorable birthday celebrations and as always, players were glued to Tanki, unknowing that the next six months would hold some seriously major changes. Just two days into July and a chunky balancing update hit the game. Among updating stats to ensure balance was better between hulls and weapons, the Tanki team also introduced the ability for Isida to remove Freezing and Burn from both its team-mates and itself when engaging in healing. Healing was clearly on the developers' minds as they also updated the First Aid to speed up the effects of it and also enable it the ability to remove the Freeze and Burn effects. On top of this, the delay of mines was reduced to one second and a penalty feature was introduced for self-destructors. Although that wasn't the greatest news for Thunders, it meant that players would think twice before jumping off the map to avoid being killed. It was still the season of Double Battle funds with weekly treats being handed out the players' way including regular discounts on equipment. As August approached, even more gifts would be given out as the players with the Germany paint were rewarded handsomely and the first season of StarSeries came to a close with NooBest coming out champions. Strangely, a glitch in the system rewarded several players who had bought paints with tons of supplies which was taken in good heart by players, believe me! The year was progressing quickly and Tanki were starting to make evident their plans. The announcement that Smart Cooldowns were being developed was met with mixed reactions from players including some rather hostile pleas that drug wars would remain from a few of the older players. As for other things, the in-game Server Switcher was in development - an update that was certainly less dubious. It was preparation time for the developers as the summer drew to a close and the working year started once again. And so September dawned, the start of what would be four of the busiest months in Tanki's history. The speed of the updates was frightening - it is no surprise that 6 of the "Most Memorable Moments of 2014 in Tanki" which I published a couple of months ago occurred in the final four months of the year. The first update took place mid-September when the awaited Server Switcher was released to the public. On top of this came a new URL system and dedicated EN Servers for the growing English community. Taken in good spirits naturally, as the developers also assured players that the Fatal Error problem had been reduced. However, a week later, it was to become mayhem in Tanki as one of the most controversial updates of time hit the servers - the long-anticipated Smart Cooldowns. An update that would ruin druggers and bring an equality to the battlefield that some adored and many despised. The announcement was met with largely negative reactions from the playerbase although many showed support for the decision. The difficulty was that Tanki had completely deleted one thing from the game - one thing that was keeping many players interested. Drug Wars. Many threatened to leave, particularly from the Arabic community, and several did. Smart Cooldowns was accompanied by an "appeaser", just like Micro-Upgrades had been released with Crystals for Ranks the previous year. Each player's supplies were doubled and several large gifts of extra supplies were given out. However, that wasn't going to make players satisfied like free crystals had done with Micro-Upgrades - particularly in the light that the use of drugs had just gone out of the window! On the other hand, several newbie battles were improved as not only were drugs used in limited number but drugging buyers did not dominate the battlefield in the way they had once done. The transition into October was riddled with people getting to grips with Smart Cooldowns. However, the devs weren't holding back. Immediately, a number of other updates were added to the game including added security for accounts and a change to the appearance of Team Chat. A week later, a smart "New-Look" Gold Box was added to the game, after the Gold Box released with the "new-look drop boxes" added at the Smart Cooldowns update had been slated for looking too similar to the Nitro box. This white Gold Box was clear, visible and a popular design which would remain in the game. It seemed like Tanki was flowing from positive to dubious as once again, they attempted to change one of the most controversial inventions since the beginning of Tanki - product kits. New kits were added with less variety and a time limit which would show how long the kit was available in the garage. The attractive names of the kits caught the eye but most players were unimpressed with the lack of variety - this opinion would change though when new kits started replacing the old. Of course, let's not forget the community and what was going on outside updates. The Battle of Rusty Barrels was brought back just after the summer and the V-LOG was still in full throttle each Friday. And let's not forget the institution of Brazillian Tanki which took a stand in BGS 2014 as the playerbase grew in South America. As for discounts, need I say anything? Any of us who can remember the golden days remember expecting a discount on some equipment each week. It was a staggering level of opportunities to save crystals - so much so that very few high-ranked players bothered buying equipment unless under an offer of over 25%. Some players were even annoyed at the "meagre 31% off everything" when Halloween struck at the end of October! The cheek of it! If you've thought September and October have been busy, the updates in November take things to a whole new level. The news of the upcoming release of two new weapons were setting hearts racing but before that, another controversial update would hit the servers. The introduction of Predictable Drops. At heart, this was a great plan. Making sure players knew where the drop boxes were falling to increase planning and strategy in games. However, the thing that got it really fired up was the change in the Crystal Boxes that accompanied this update. Not only were the spots for Crystal Box Drop Positions marked out in the game but there was a new mechanism. For the first time in Tanki's history since the Happy New Year 2012 Celebration, there would be a different number of crystals in each box, ranging from as low as 1 to as high as 100. Again, it sounds good. But the saboteurs were having an absolute field day. While others were working hard around them for flags, they were camping for crystal boxes, not helping their teams and making a profit for doing so! On top of that, the mechanism for the Gold Box was smashed up to nearly three minutes between the alert and drop. And with the marking on the ground clarifying to players the whereabouts of the Gold, it was another reason to sabotage and led to less skilful gold catches. It wasn't improving gameplay - players were all starting to move back to their Mammoths and camp at Crystal Box Spots! Tanki saw the problems this was causing - players were no longer fighting for the reasons that Tanki had been so popular in the past few years. Battles were no longer fought to be won; the aim was simply to grab some crystal boxes. Thus, they took action immediately. What was labelled the "experiment" was brought out to the audience. Its main feature? No more crystal boxes. When I say many players actually cried, I'm not joking. Some were stricken by the loss - on the other hand, many were pleased. Battle Funds would grow higher, Gold Boxes would be more common and the "distraction" of crystal boxes no longer was an issue. The +73 on the topic showed the general consensus of positivity at this change but to many, it was the end of an era. As for the experiment's other features it included a strange test of a Gold Siren sounding at the exact moment the Gold Box appeared in the sky. Unpopular but Tanki would take action soon. And so, in a week, the experiment came to a close, and Tanki made their final long-term decisions in an announcement of epic proportions. Crystal Boxes would say Farewell. Funds would be increased. Gold Boxes would have a twenty-second gap between alert and drop. Funds would be split more evenly between teams. Kills on enemies in CTF and CP would have shared points by damage given. Non-Pro Battles would be only allowed simple time limits. And my favourite - Drug Wars would return. The response to this update was mixed but I was joyful. One update I can say I truly loved. Drug Wars returned in Pro Battles and with that, an area of the game that had been missing for a couple of months. Also, funds were larger and Golds were common. Great times. Predictable Drops, in my opinion, had been perfected. The community events were thriving too. Over in Russia, the StarSeries Lan Finals were taking place - an incredible climax ending with Arcade (previously Noobest) grabbing the title once again. As for our side of the game, it was jogging along as usual. Contests in the newspaper were becoming more popular whilst a new generation of forumers was growing up in our midst. And the events were honestly only just heating up. Another major update was released on the visual aspect of things as December dawned. Night Mode was added to a number of popular maps and players were stunned at the brilliant lighting in the dark. On top of this, Shaft was given a laser scope to add to the skill needed to wield it - and to dodge it - as players could see the Shaft's light shining upon them. Personally, I believe December 2014 was the busiest month in Tanki's history. Just the depth of things that happened was absolutely incredible. Players were invited to take part in choosing the name for the upcoming two weapons as both releases approached. Testing was opened as the developers tried to involve their customers as much as possible. Dubious updates always get a field day on ITBT, and there was one just coming along. An Updated Battle List was added to the game. Removing the old "Names" added to Battles, this list would be sorted in a completely different way - by alphabetical order of maps. However, there were sincere problems. Firstly, players would no longer be able to distinguish between standard battles and XP Battles; and it was also causing problems all around for low ranks as Private Battles were only given availability to those with Pro Battle Passes. Tanki knew things needed to change - 282 Negative Votes was not something they could take with a shrug of the shoulders. So they quickly got working on their Format Battles and made the Updated Battle List more user-friendly a couple of days later. But they couldn't spend too much time focusing on it - they had a new weapon to release! And that they did - Hammer was released in mid-December to the delight of players. Of course, I reckon everyone can appreciate the happiness of tankers. For many veterans in particular, who had been around at the release of Shaft back in 2011, this was glorious news. 3 Years of a lack of new Tank Combinations was finally over. Players got settled, and those waiting for a discount were rewarded as Tanki announced a superb "New Year Promo Calendar" for all players to enjoy. A week after Hammer's release, all turrets were put on Half Price giving many players extra incentive to test out this new weapon. And the end of December approached and the discounts were rolling in as the New Year grew closer. However, Tanki weren't taking a break yet. A couple of days after Christmas, they added a feature which would make Battles end sooner if the game was already decided. This was approved by the majority although changes to this in the coming future would mean that they would have to tweak with it later on. And the long-awaited Format Battles were also added, to the joy of the large XP playerbase. It was back to Railgun-Hornet games as XP once again went wild on the servers. Along with this came a special option for Parkour Battles which would not be able to be ruined by those hunting crystals among parkourists. Not done yet! The release of an Elite Tank for Rent flashing back to the old days of Smoky XT was a pleasant surprise for many as a unique Railgun-Hornet XT Combo with a beautiful "Frost" paint was added for a temporary period with a price that reduced as the days passed. And as always, a special New Year Map crowned off the year in style. New Year Celebrations - a great place to finish after an absolutely mad final few months. A year of ups-and-downs - typical Tanki, huh? And there we are! What a year! We've come to the end of it once again. Updates dividing opinion but great to look back on our memories fondly. And so ITBT hangs up its boots for another year - thanks for following us as we've travelled through 2014! Thanks for reading! ;)

Nice idea! Might do something along those lines!

No Prodigi - just Needle, Taiga and Hohloma.

Unfortunately not. :P

1. Turn On Shower 2. Stand Outside the Shower with my hand underneath it waiting for a decent temperature 3. Squint at my reflection in the mirror 4. Keep Waiting 5. Poke my backside underneath the shower 6. Shuffle underneath and raise my hands above my head 7. Open my hands into palms and spread the spray of the water over my body 8. Pace around and spin to avoid burning my back 9. Grab Shower Gel 10. Turn upside down and shake vigorously 11. Squeeze into left hand 12. Rub hands together and rub over body 13. Watch Soap fall onto floor with delight on my face 14. Rub my feet in the soapy water for no good reason 15. Mull over my day 16. Ten minutes later... 17. Remember I'm having a shower 18. Turn upside down Shampoo and shake vigorously 19. Squeeze Shampoo onto Right Hand 20. Shuffle five centimetres forward so my hair is not underneath the shower but my body is 21. Apply Shampoo 22. Rub vigorously for 20 seconds 23. Move back underneath the shower whilst continously rubbing in shampoo 24. Jam my eyes shut to ensure no shampoo touches my eyes 25. One minute later... 26. Stand there and consider how best to approach getting my towel 27. Walk out of shower and grab towel 28. Walk/Run back into shower but poke head out 29. Begin to dry my hair whilst body remains in heat 30. Three minutes later... 31. Turn off shower 32. Rub body for five seconds 33. Turn shower back on 34. Stay underneath shower for five more seconds 35. Turn off shower Since you asked...

Apologies, but it will not be accepted. This is a hand-drawn artistic contest only

Mission: Find as many banterous posts from Contaminated as possible. Day 1.

Any proof behind this statement?

Thank you for your honesty.

^Those are both legitimate entries albeit not particularly original. They are, however, both following the rules and will not be removed. He was banned so asked me to post. :)

Original

That's fine, however, it would probably be best to rotate the image. Also, if you want to show the image directly on the forum, use this button:

Originality matters but it isn't compulsory. :)

Next issue, yes.

Absolutely no need for colour. Beauty is the only requirement. :D

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