My dear friend, please be mindful of where you post your complaints. This is a Newspaper article, in which I have merely analyzed the latest patch update. Newspaper Reporters have no powers when it comes to fixing bugs or adding new features - all that is in the hands of the Developers. If you wish to complain, do so in the Complaint Book. Forum Moderators will forward your complaints to those in authority. If you wish to report bugs, please reply in the Bugs and Glitches Report topic. Not here. Feel free to contribute to the discussion constructively!

Thanks mate! I hope you pass your candidacy soon!Also congratulations to @thunderhunter123 on becoming a Forumod candy! G'luck! And btw, huge congratulations to @wolverine848 on reaching the milestone of a whopping ten thousand reputation points!

Shards... I'm loving them...

OMG But will it be visible? I hope...

As Spy said, whenever another Forum user reacts to your post with a "positive" reaction (<Haha>, <Like>, <Agree>, and <Thanks>), your community reputation goes up by one point. More the positive reactions, more the reputation. [A reaction is that emoji on the bottom right corner of a post]

The developers have embarked on an important mission, their goal being the attainment of "equilibrium". With game balance in mind, a new patch update has been released, and the Newspaper is back with another Patch Update Review. This time we shall be analyzing Patch Update #636, which is packed with balance tweaks. From changes to hulls & turrets to minor bug fixes - this patch update has it all. Let's take a look at what has changed and how it affects players. ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Changes to Number of Players in Maps What is it? The number of players per map has been changed for the following maps: What does it mean? It simply means that some maps will feel less crowded, while others will suddenly seem to have a few extra players. Aleksandrovosk, Archipelago, Barda, Bridges, and Future will have four players more than before, whereas Chernobyl, Desert, Iran, Osa, Red Alert, Silence, Stadium, and Wolfenstein will have four players less. Impact Having a few players less on each team always allows for more breathing space and you do not spend more time respawning than playing. Maps having fewer players than before will be more fun to play in. Personally, having less players on Desert and Iran is a welcome prospect - Iran feels cramped anyway, and Desert with twelve players on each team is a massacre. Increasing the player count on Archipelago would hopefully solve the problem of spawning on the same island multiple times or spawning on an island full of enemy tanks. Extra tanks on Aleksandrovosk and Barda won’t be that noticeable because they’re quite large maps. Bridges is a pretty balanced map, so a couple of tanks more on each team wouldn’t really disturb game balance. Future, however, might have some problems. In Assault mode, more players on each team means that the defending team will crowd around their already small base and the frequency of attackers will increase. Chances of utter confusion and mayhem in Rugby mode are higher. More importantly, some players might face lags and FPS drops in maps having an increased number of players. We advise such players to reduce their graphics settings or reduce their device’s screen resolution. Changes to Groups What is it? While searching for a battle in a Group, the range of ranks for the group of players can only go up, and cannot go down. What does it mean? When you are queuing up for a battle in MM in a Group, the system doesn't allow the range of ranks to go below the rank of the lowest ranked player in your Group. For example, if you are a Legend, and are grouping with a General (four stars), you will never be in a battle with a Lieutenant General (three stars) or Major General (two stars). The battle will have only those players who are ranked higher than General. Consider another example for clarity: You are a Warrant Officer 5 (WO5) and are in a group with a First Lieutenant (three diamonds). When you queue up for a MM battle, the system will put you in a battle having all players ranked WO5 and above. So you wouldn't find WO4s or WO3s in the battle. Impact If you play MM in a group, you will rarely be the highest ranked player in the battle, unless you're a Legend (duh). If a group has only Legends, then that group will always find itself in Legend-only battles in Matchmaking. Hence, while making a group or joining a group, always keep in mind that all players should have nearly the same rank - otherwise lower ranked players in the group will always face stronger opponents. Note! This is not 100% confirmed but rather our interpretation of the change. Please do not sue us demanding reparitions in the form of cookies if the above information is not true to size. Defender Nerf What is it? Instead of giving you boosted armor for 30 seconds, the Defender drone now grants you a 20 second bonus effect. That’s ten seconds less. What does it mean? That's quite self-explanatory. You’ll get ten seconds less to capture a flag or score a goal with increased armor. Impact You might find that you get killed right before completing an objective (capturing a point/flag or scoring a goal). You might also find it easier to destroy Defender-users and prevent them from completing any objective. However, the change isn’t that significant. It’s a minor tweak which is very difficult to notice or exploit. Defender is still potent - do not get lulled into a false sense of security. "Never underestimate the power of Defender drone." ~ The Wise Pizza. Changes to Isida What is it? Isida has received a buff - it now deals 15% more damage at all modifications. Check out the increase in damage in the spoiler below: What does it mean? Isida now deals more damage than before. It’s a pretty direct buff. In technical terms, Isida now has a higher "damage per second" value. Impact Isidas will start sapping your health faster than before - or at least that’s how it’ll seem. A red Isida beam will deal more damage to your tank within a fixed time interval. You should give Isidas a wide berth now. Changes to Hammer Faster Magazine Reload: Hammer's stock version (without any augments) now reloads the magazine (of 3 shots) 2 seconds faster! Check out the new data right below in the spoiler: This means that you won't have to wait too long to shoot again after exhausting your clips, which is a direct buff. Two seconds is a lot in a game where even milliseconds matter, so be prepared to face seemingly overpowered Hammers in battle. "Duplet" Augment: This augment allows you to fire two shots rapidly with almost no delay. The reload time for this augment has been tweaked a bit - the magazine takes 50% longer to reload as compared to the new reloading time of stock Hammer. That's the only tiny tweak. For example, Hammer Mk1 with the Duplet augment will require (4 + 50% of 4)s = (4 + 2)s = 6 seconds to reload the magazine. Changes to Striker Faster Reload: Another turret has been buffed - Striker. The stock version of Striker now reloads faster! This means that you can now fire single rockets at a faster rate. The new values are compiled in the spoiler below: Greater Initial Velocity of Missiles: The developers seem to find Striker too slow, for they have even increased the initial velocity of Striker missiles by 5 m/s for all modifications! This reduces the chances of your rockets hitting everything other than your target, which surely comes as a relief to many. Higher speed of the rockets implies that enemy tanks won't have much time to escape the deadly missiles. Changes to Hopper A nerf for Hopper was much awaited. The new changes do not drastically temper Hopper's abilities, but they're at least tiny nerfs. One step at a time. Reduced Acceleration: The acceleration of Hopper has been nerfed - it now accelerates 2 m/s slower. In simple terms, Hopper will take more time to attain its maximum speed. This is already evident in battles - Hoppers are unable to change their direction effectively and tend to crash into obstacles because of the slow acceleration. Personally, I feel that Hopper doesn't respond to my keystrokes fast enough - so it feels as if it's stuck in glue until it gets moving. This also affects its strafing ability negatively. Overdrive Mechanism Altered: Hopper no longer receives an overdrive charge for useful combat actions within 10 seconds of using the overdrive. That is, after using the Hopper overdrive, you won't receive any bonus overdrive charge for "useful combat actions" (like capturing flags/points, scoring goals, etc.) for 10 seconds. If you capture a flag or a point ten seconds after using your overdrive, then you will receive some overdrive charge. Miscellaneous Changes You now get points if you destroy enemy tanks using Ares's overdrive, the BFG. [*My interpretation of this change was off the mark. Thankfully, @At_Shin (and @TheCongoSpider) came to my rescue!] You can now instantly get OD charge by completing battle objectives after releasing the BFG. Earlier, it had a 10 second grace period (like Hopper has now) for gaining OD charge after activation. Using Ares's overdrive on enemies gave battle points before as well. Smoky's newly inducted augment, "Rubberized Rounds", now allows projectiles to bounce off walls not once, but twice! You can now change the game interface language in the Settings. No need to log out and change the language. Flag icons can now be scaled in the drop-down menu in Clans. Changes to Containers: Containers now have a sound effect, just like in the mobile version of the game! Augments are now displayed along with an image of the turret they're for! The much-awaited ignore feature is here! We can now ignore a player's messages in chats by "hiding" their messages. You can do so by clicking on a player's nickname and then clicking on "Hide messages". Click on "Hide messages" to ignore a player's messages. Now, if you get stunned, you cannot activate your supplies for the entire duration of this status effect. Do not confuse this with the EMP effect. When the EMP status effect gets applied, you lose your active supplies. But in case of the new stun effect, you will retain your supplies, but will not be able to activate other supplies as long as you are in the stunned state. Bug Fixes Wheeee bug fixes! Who doesn't like them? Some of the most annoying bugs have been fixed this time... check 'em out! The bug due to which items did not get equipped in the Garage is now fixed! The bug due to which augments were not visible in the augments menu has been fixed! The bug due to which it was impossible to add a newly entered friend to the group is also fixed! (You won't notice it now... unless you actually faced this problem.) ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ This update was quite ambitious - the developers are intent on completing the seemingly impossible "Mission: Equilibrium". After all, "equilibrium" must be attained, and thereafter maintained. We are now a tad more knowledgeable, I hope, with this comprehensive analysis of Patch Update #636. What are your opinions on these updates? Let us know below!

Luckily became the Juggernaut... most enemy tanks ignored me for some reason and kept getting killed by me... ? EDIT: I just noticed - I got 1616 crystals and the person below me got 2020 crystals LOL

Did you edit this pic (and the cool ones you posted before)? I'm guessing that these are pics you got thanks to the RaS service...

-2 Hehehe let's abooz Candy-dacy...

Yay, the sales are here! I'll probably use my new Titan Mk7 (on an alt acc) to finish the 50 kills with heavy hulls mission and then rest in peace... (my Twins, Hammer, and Ricochet are at low modifications ?) Well, let's enjoy these festivities as much as we can!

Shard Container strikes again! (This was on SHREYA88) I got another cool shot effect on Venerable, but I don't want to make another post... (this was a container from a Weekly Mission)

No I didn't know that I was a flavour... Why would anyone do this to me?

Forum: What are the confusion? Am Forum...

Yep... the power of savings up crystals should not be underestimated! Also, I'm a fan of using all equipment. So buying any hull/turret (except Vulcan... I hate it) is an investment... I like my garage when I have plenty of options!

Step 1. Open shard container. Step 2. Open Shop. Buy kit (Cuz my Magnum was Mk4 and Titan was Mk3). Step 3. Equip cool items. Enjoy highest GS in my life. Step 4. Cry because poor.

"Finally!!!! The WiFi is back!" I screamed. I think I woke my mom up because I could hear her grumbling. It sounded very much like "why did the neighbours let their dog out", but I merely shrugged. I was too euphoric to even bother - the WiFi was back. After a few swift, well-placed jabs at my keyboard, Tanki Online was now loading on my laptop's screen. Loading screens are abominations of all games. You cannot help but look away and then look back at the annoying "Loading..." sign again. However, this time I was very restless - I couldn't bear to look back at the screen unless the game actually loaded. I tried to get distracted. By God's grace, a worthy distraction came my way. I looked out my room's window just in time to see an eagle majestically swooping down upon what looked like my neighbours' pet guinea pig (don't ask me what it was doing outside), but then disaster struck: A baseball bat came flying out of nowhere and the eagle suddenly decided that the guinea pig was too malnourished, perhaps, and promptly flew away. Baseball bats that come hurtling towards you should never be messed with, and the eagle seemed to know this. I heard the boy next door shout something in relief, and the baseball bat which he had thrown at the eagle lay forgotten in their lawn. Now that the distraction had passed, I glanced back at my screen: the word "LOADING" stared me in the face, as if challenging me to a staring contest. Even the tips flashing below that ugly word weren't exciting enough. For the second time, I looked out my window. Nothing seemed interesting enough to catch my eye. The majestic eagle had vanished, and the guinea pig was still running around on our neighbours' lawn. After around ten minutes of continuous loading, the screen flickered and turned grey. Ideally, I should have felt excited at this; at least the game wasn't loading anymore. But the grey screen following the loading screen implied that the game intended to load a bit more - my rank, crystals, and tank had still not materialized. Bah, another ten minutes of boredom, I thought. YouTube was probably waiting to be opened, for I got so bored that my hand automatically clicked on the necessary buttons and it popped open. I was grateful - spending ten minutes watching how a cute cat sits on its owner's phone was far more productive than attempting to win a staredown battle against the Grey Screen of Doom. When I finally switched tabs and opened Tanki, I was relieved to find that everything had managed to load properly. The daily missions were luckily easy - two were "collect supply boxes" and one was "capture 3 flags". CTF and ASL were my favorite modes anyway, so I was destined to enjoy my time. I clicked on the <Play> button and the boring wait started once again. "To YouTube!" I murmured. At last, I heard the exhilarating sounds of a raging battle and switched over to Tanki. I have a tendency to speak to myself out loud while playing any game, so this is how my conversation with myself (and the laptop) went: "Bruh. Massacre SGE. Imma head out, thank you very much." *Leaves battle. Clicks on Play button again.* "WHAT! Archipelago CP? Does Tanki even want me to play today?" *Leaves battle. Clicks on Play button again.* "Um... not again! I hate Archipelago!" *Leaves battle. Clicks on Play button again.* "Whoa, Kungur ASL! Fun! But wait... aaaaaah, I have the no-damage bug! Hang on, let me place a mine..." *Presses 6 instead of 5. A notification flashes: "Neil_Noob has dropped the Gold Box"* "Aaaaaaaaaaah my Gold Box!!!!!!" I wailed; but before I could reach it, someone caught my precious gilded jewel... my Gold Box... *Rage-quits battle. Throws pillow on the floor in anger. Calms down slightly. Clicks on Play button again.* "Ah, Red Alert CTF. Not bad. Oh dear, three players with 9999 GS! Oh, never mind, they're on my team." A Firebird-Wasp had somehow managed to sneak up behind me, and I realized it a bit too late. Spraying flames all over my poor Magnum-Hunter, the enemy Firebird left me to my fate. The burning effect did its job, and my tank turned into a rusted piece of scrap metal. "Oh noob Firebird... can't even turn its turret..." I respawned beside an ally Shaft-Titan, merrily camping behind a wall. "Eh, noob camper... no skills at all..." I muttered, even though that Shaft was steadily getting kills. I drove towards the centre of the map and looked about for any small tanks. I found one on my left near the bridge, and I skillfully sent a well-aimed Magnum shell at the unsuspecting Firebird-Wasp. "Hah! Gotcha, you little sneak!" I screamed in joy, for it turned out to be the same Firebird-Wasp that had killed me a short while ago. "Now go cry! Can't even turn turret..." I said a bit too loudly and shook my head. "Neil!" came a shout. "Neil, what are you doing?" Uh oh. Mom. "Uhh.... I -" I began, but I saw a Gauss-Wasp speeding away from my team's base, bearing our flag. I cut my reply short and focused intently on the rapidly zig-zagging Gauss-Wasp. Two seconds later, that tank was dead - killed by a Magnum shell sent at it by me. "Neil?!" "Yeah, Mom! I'm... I'm uh... I'm studying!" I yelled back. This should suffice, I thought. Moms loved their children when they studied. Plus, I was anyway studying how Magnum worked in HTML5. "Studying?! What are you studying?" said my mom, with a hint of suspicion in her voice. I was busy aiming at a troublesome Striker, and hearing my mom's voice again (despite having told her that I was studying) irritated me. "I'm studying... um... physics, mom!" I said. I was right... in a sense. Using Magnum does require some physics. "Physics?!" she yelled. "Yeah, physics! Um... projectile motion! Motion under gravity!" I said adding some technical terms which would hopefully satisfy her. "I see..." she said, but her voice seemed unusually loud. She was right behind me. * Presently, my mom was busy finding the angle by which she had to twist my ear so that I would yelp out loud at a hundred decibels. "Aaaaaah, Mom, what are you doing?!" I screamed. "I'm studying, Neil..." she replied through gritted teeth. "Studying?! Ouch!" "Yeah... I'm studying physics. I'm testing the tensile strength of your ear. We'll also test your right ear. Maybe I should get a decibel-meter to obtain a relation between the angle of twisting and the loudness of your bellow." * After my mom was done studying (ouch), I sat down on my desk again. My ears were red and sore, my eyes were watery, and my throat was hurting. Despite my condition, I could clearly hear some commotion in the house next door - it seemed that the boy was in trouble. "Did you leave the guinea pig out in the lawn?!" I heard the mother scream. Even though it wasn't my mother's scream, I winced. I was hearing a Mother torturing a fellow Human (yeah, you can consider Mothers as a different species or perhaps even Monsters) - it was too much to bear. I closed my eyes and covered my ears tenderly - I did not wish to witness any more Human-Monster conflicts. That night, I stayed awake in bed for a long time. I was thinking of forming a Society for Child Welfare and Mother (Monster) Incarceration when my brain finally succumbed to thoughts of Tanki Online. My ambitious plans were blown to bits by Magnum shells...

Happy *Old* Year

Of course they work! If you wish to get rejected...

Thanks Sacrifice! ;)

I'd love to have a Battle of Crusaders in MM-like conditions. It would be really fun when everyone starts shooting icicles... Anyone up for it?

Congratulation Time! What a pleasant surprise, Signal! Congratz on becoming an Event Helper! Congratz to StealthMasterX and OufaGold on passing their LATAM Discord Mod candidacies! Congratz to Edu_Gamer on joining the Discord Moderators team as a candidate!

Whatever it is, ultimately you don't want it and you regret your action. You simply have to ask for a refund, and the story has to be "believable and humorous". How will you attempt to convince Customer Service? I personally think that one cannot convince Customer Service by saying, "I intentionally bought this item and now I don't need it". ?

I wondered where to share this video... then this topic popped up...

In a group with Le Admin De Newspaper (not kaisdf, unfortunately... ?) I killed two Juggernauts, and PR killed one! T'was fun! (Me: Shaft-Crusader. PR: Gauss-Hopper)