Actually, since I wasn't asking a question, that would've sound pretty sarcastic added to the end of my post - so maybe not xD How would I feel if I did hurt his feelings, as you suggest? Vaguely amused, for that wasn't my intention. I was simply ridiculing his ignorance, rather than undertaking any sort of ad hominem attack. And since you made me post here again... This one gave me a good laugh, too. Perfect example of the blind leading the blind (facepalm)

Well, why not? Offering something (albeit rather small) to the Tanki community whilst attracting attention to his work. That's pretty clever marketing right there...

Except he's written about half a dozen - your witty comment might've been more witty if it wasn't ignorant...

Greetings, readers! Here at the Tanki Online newspaper press, we are passionate about providing you with information on all the latest updates, turrets, hulls, maps, contests, anything related to the community or game, and you can trust us to cover it all. But the Newspaper isn't all about boring facts and figures. What about the stuff that's been going on behind your backs this month? Here at the Dictator, we fill in where the rest of the paper does not, delivering you shocking news stories and fresh rumors direct from the battle-lines. Enjoy! Daily dose of a month long XT mission! By @Fen-Harel This month Tanki introduced the long waited Daily Missions update. However, there's a rare gen-only mission that rewards players with the special XT version of the classic Hornet-Rail combo. The chances of getting just one XT related mission is only 1%. Even so, the eager Generalissimos spent hundreds of thousands of crystals on resetting missions to get the XT combo. But why is this the case? The Dictator went on the field to investigate. First off, we looked at the missions themselves. Contrary to popular belief, daily missions can in fact be finished at night. As satisfying as they were, the Dictator team brainstormed all day and had more thoughtful suggestions including "Use your brain for once", "Don't take my Goldbox", "Don't take repair kits if your health is full", and the all time favorite "Don't act like a freaking Nug 0/99999". Seeing as the missions were sufficient, but didn't include our I3rilliant suggestions, we decided to check what the players think of them. Statistically, time required to complete a daily mission varies between less than 5 minutes and 20 days, depending on how many friends you have to help you out by keeping guard of any supply box on the map just for you. Still, if we average it all we get that the missions do in fact take 1 day on average to complete... maybe - Kevred did the math on this one, so it's your call if you'll trust him. After interviewing a lot of seasoned players there seem to be numerous motives for completing the mission. "The tank looks cool", "It has wings like a chicken", "I want to be the first to have it" (2 l8 m8) , "It's a new game goal that I want to finish" and, slightly to The Dictator's surprise, "Never bought Hornet M3, might as well get it for free now..." When the data was carefully studied by our top team of analysts, the Dictator came to an astounding conclusion. "There seems to be a certain trait that these generalissimos possess, we think it's the key to their ability to devote their gameplay towards that one mission." says the head analyst prof. Tardy Anon, adding the following: "Spending all those crystals on resetting the missions time and time again, preparing themselves for such a time consuming task, we've realized that these players have a special syndrome that gives them this unique ability. The No Outdoors - Living Inside Formatbattles Experience syndrome, or N.O.-L.I.F.E. for short, has been traced to practically each of the competitors for the XT tank. We're currently working on the cure, as side-effects for this syndrome also include heart attacks during Goldboxes and frequent use of the words ok, m8, I3anter, hy6." However, Tanki players report playing with more "randoms" rather than with their friends. It seems that the "friends list" button mysteriously disappeared. No reason to fear, though, as the The Dictator team quickly found the said button cleverly hiding next to its "Invite friends" cousin. Perhaps the Tanki team wanted to encourage people to invite more real life friends to the game (and doing so actually go outside), or maybe they're saying that missions are more important than friendships? You be the judge. The Dictator proudly presents: the "You're a noob" campaign. By @GoldRock. Here at The Dictator, we've been both shocked and dismayed at the recent 'anti-noob' movements poisoning the community; as seen here, here and even in our very own newspaper. Instead of confronting the age-old problem that is the noob, these players seem to want to deny that such a problem even exists. As a result of this outrageous propaganda, we're starting up our very own counter-campaign; where we want to encourage you, our loyal readers, to call out as many noobs as you see on the battlefield in as creative a way as you can. Tired of that M2 on your team in XP/BP battles who just doesn't know how to play the format? Team-mate missed a vital shot after all your hard efforts in trying to capture a flag? Noob Mammoth user blocking the path of your light, nimble and vastly superior light hull? Take note, tankers. In each and every case, the player responsible for the noob action soon broke down into tears and apologised for their wrongdoing. So next time you see a noob on the battlefield, don't stop and console or help said noob whilst trying to make sure your halo doesn't fall off your head, but instead remember this campaign and the awe-inspiring "You're a noob" examples it provides above. There's no need to thank me, I know. The "You're a noob" Campaign - REAL Banter for REAL Soldiers. n.b. The Dictator team and the "You're a noob" campaign does not encourage the violation of the Game Rules in any way, or affiliate itself with the actions of any such violators. As stated in the Game Rules, any of the following is expressly forbidden and will result in punishment of some form for any players who violate such rules: 2.1.Any forms of unsporting or impolite behavior in the Game: 2.1.6. Discrimination of inexperienced players (newbies): misinformation, intimidation, mockery; 2.1.7. Insults, slander (dissemination of misleading information) in relation to other Users, Administration, moderators, other persons; etc.The Dictator supports the following of the aforementioned Game Rules at all times by all players, and any violations made of a result of the "You're a noob" campaign are not the responsibility of the campaign organiser (myself) in any way, shape or form, and this campaign may not be used as an excuse to break the Game Rules. If you're still reading this, I owe you a bag of chicken or maybe two if I'm feeling generous. Thank you. and now for a short break with a less-short advertisement for a new product called "friday night banter" click me if anyone reads that all we owe you a million bags of chicken with some fries on the side Classic banter strikes as The Dictator discusses a cheeky name-change By @S.C.Y.T.H.E It's been a while since the Dictator has been released. Many of our personnel believe it's time for a few changes. What better way to start anew than with a new name? After many complaints of readers expecting this to be a guide to Dictator, the decision has finally been made! The Dictator's name shall be changed. Writers of the Dictator convened late Friday night at a large KFC. Over a large plate of chicken wings, our writers began debating what name to change to. I was a strong advocate of the title Tyrant. Tyrant means practically the same thing as Dictator. *Scythe* How about the name Tyrant? *Arm Rest* No. *Hog* Does that have to do with chicken? (with his mouth half full). *GoldBlock* Too similar to our current name. How about this as our new name: The Administrator. It's similar to Dictator, but a bit more evil. *Arm Rest* No. *Hog* Does that have to do with chicken? *Scythe* Um.... *GoldBlock* Then its settled. Our new name is The Administrator. *Hog* I don't think that has to do with chicken. This should be our new name: CHICKEN. *Scythe* Fine with me. *GoldBlock* Whatever... I guess that's OK. *Arm Rest* No. Everyone turns to stare at Arm Rest. *Arm Rest* No, No, No. No. NO. No one argues with him. Absolutely nobody would dare to disagree with a man of his stature. I slowly backed away in fear. Suddenly, I turned tail and ran as if my life depended on it... Shocking Gold Box Scandal revealed after an incredible discovery! By @hogree. welcome 2 tanki uncovered hypothesis: gold box is made of toilet roll equipment: gold box, toilet roll, brain, matchsticks, nando's sauce, pencil sharpener, danish pastry, toaster, money to buy gloves method: 1. get gold box 2. light fire with matchsticks 3. put gold box in fire 4. pour nando's sauce on fire 5. put pencil sharpener in fire 6. put danish pastry in toaster 7. eat danish pastry 8. add nando's sauce (optional) 9. put toilet roll in fire 10. (steps for putting brain in fire available on free mobile app for just £0.99 download here) 11. wait 2 months 12. look in fire 13. o wow look w8 theres no gold box 14. put hand into fire 15. take hand out of fire 16. cut hand off (not recommended) 17. throw hand in bin (optional) 18. go to tesco's 19. buy gloves 20. put on gloves 21. put hand into fire 22. take out piece of toilet roll analysis: gold box is made of toilet roll verdict: gold box is worthless thank u for tuning into tanki uncovered. The Ultimate Guide to Polygon CP By @greyat There are a multitude of guides to Polygon CP, each offering different techniques and claiming to be the best. The Dictator has decided to settle this debate once and for all, by publishing an ultra comprehensive guide, a guide to rule them all. We consulted multiple independent experts and debated furiously over many a point, but in the end, came up with an guide both elegant in its extensiveness as well as in its simplicity. This guide is, for sure, destined to go down in history as one of the all-time greats. If you want to read more from The Dictator, here are the news reports from previous months! July 2014 August 2014 September 2014 October 2014 November 2014 January 2015 February 2015 March 2015

This entire post consists of misinformation, pretty much.

Happy Canada Day!

Great read, as usual. Not only d'you cover a wide variety of relevant points, but you do so in a humorous and eloquent way. Good stuff, keep it up!

Great topic and subsequent discussion, made for an interesting read as I was scrolling through this section... Agreed with a lot of the points raised here about the team taking precedence over the individual in the heat of a battle. I think this used to be more of an issue back when the flag-capturer got almost all of the points, now the formula's quite a bit fairer and rewards everyone involved in carrying the flag back for the capture. Post here, it's a good idea. Might even nab it myself, if you wouldn't mind :P

I'm back now, so I can be removed from this list ^_^

That overall price tag seems much more reasonable, though you could probably reduce it to the range I gave by shopping around, taking advantage of discounts and buying multiple components together. Thanks for clearing that up ^_^

Note that he's got some pretty expensive software with it, but that lot should still be purchasable at 1000-1500 dollars...

Go ahead, 'cause I do still think that price tag seems a little high... :huh:

See you, and good luck with your real life endeavours.

It died a well-deserved death, after being waaay too overrated in the past. Although personally I liked the gameplay, I didn't even notice its demise...

Yeah, that was my phone's 'autocorrect' at work >.< And my point still stands - I highly doubt all of those separate components add up to 3000 USD in total. Yes, that's including all costs. You could expand on how you arrived at that figure if you wish to prove otherwise...

What a waste of a topic... What? It is. There's no need to create an 'I'm back' topic, let alone the fact that you've only been away for 3 days... Maybe this is a vaguely amusing story to your friends, in which case tell them all about you virus related adventures privately. Yet another topic I'm going to scroll past as I reminisce about the times when there were actually good discussion-based topics in this section.

Whilst the specs are pretty average, he did get a decent graphics card along with it. That's probably the logic he's used in referring to it as a 'semi-gaming' PC. 3000 USD for that set-up?! Are you serious? Now that would be overpaying...

Something it seems you lack.

Becoming a Tanki Pro Pro: Internet slang, a shortened form of the word 'professional' meaning to be skilled or competent in a particular activity. What sets one Generalissimo apart from another? Many experienced tankers have accumulated millions of experience points over the years they've been playing, yet only relatively few have established a name for themselves due to their prowess on the battlefield. Those that have often showcase their talent in streams of top matches as part of Starladder (SL) leagues/tournaments, through gameplay videos and Duellist topics - and many look up to and emulate such players. However, it's easier than it seems to join the ranks of the game's stronger players yourself. All it requires is a willingness to put in the time and effort, the motivation and drive to achieve your goals, and an awareness of how you should actually improve upon the various important aspects of your own ability. Whilst the first two factors are up to you, I can make use of my own knowledge to help throw some light onto the last one. Here goes... Turret Rotation and Hull Manoeuvring "Pfft" I hear you mutter, "this is hardly difficult..." But wait! Take some time to read on before you skip to the next bit. Numerous studies may or may not have shown that the strongest players in the game do benefit from being more proficient at the basics than others, let alone the more flashy moves. Personally, I've noticed this myself in many battle situations. For example, the weaker XP players tend to spend too much time with their turret facing in the direction that they're driving, whether that be forwards or backwards. The less time you spend with your turret looking straight ahead, the more likely you are to be able to keep track of your opponents and spot them before they spot you. Forget the 'C' key - this is where not to have your turret aimed most of the time, else you'll be smashed into a pulp when playing against any stronger players. Don't say I didn't warn you... It's not enough just to drive around the battlefield with ease; you've got to be able to do so whilst focusing your turret on multiple targets, driving blindly in the opposite direction back to your base with the enemy flag. And even that's just the 'basic' level of ability for stronger players. Those at the highest level play with much more fluid movements than the vast majority of other players. They're not afraid of spinning around crazily to pull off impossible shots or to dodge their way out of a seemingly grave situation, because they know they can pull it off. That comes with combination of experience, practice and technique. At the peak of your performance, you should never be stood still on the battlefield, and you shouldn't have to slow down or alter your hull movements in order to aim your turret and hit your intended target 9 times out of 10. In essence, it's all about being consistent. To play like a pro, you've got to be able to drive like one - and the fewer mistakes you make, the better. Camera Angling and Timing Shots This is where the strongest players start to distinguish themselves more. Quite a few higher-ranked players will know the importance of changing your camera angle regularly during a battle to make sure you have the optimal perspective on the situation at all times. However, I'd go further and recommend that in particularly high-paced battles, you should be changing your camera angle almost as much as you turn your turret. Zoom upwards for close-ranged duelling scenarios to peer over walls, and pan downwards to better aim for more distant targets. This is something that every tanker worth his salt should make use of, as a rule. If you know your opponents are in their base, check for any immediate danger 'round the corner... then as you turn, press down hard on that 'E' key, spin your turret and hit space simultaneously to pull off that long-range shot at any opponents your appearance has inevitably enticed out of cover. However, it's not just about getting the best angle on a situation - stronger players know how to take advantage of this. Making the effort to time your shots to hit an opponent before they hit you, whatever your weapon, can make the difference between life and death. If you're using a weapon with a good impact force, you'd also find it quite straightforward to knock off your opponent's aim in the process. But many good players already realise this. What sets the pros apart from the rest is their ability to outwit almost any opponent on the battlefield by consistently timing their shot to land just before an opponent's, even when their opponent is trying to do the same to them. In XP/BP battles, instead of just shooting an opponent as soon as they cross paths with one, they'll often wait and save their shot, guess when their opponent is about to fire and shoot just before them. The stronger players will often make their opponents miss and waste shots as a result, and it won't be uncommon to see them flipping a few opponents even when on relatively flat ground. Combat Skills Every shot counts. There's no such thing as a 'good time' to miss a shot, even if a miss seems inconsequential at the time. Looking at XP/BP battles once more (which provide an excellent case study for many of these points), there have been many occasions when I've missed someone coming into our base, and privately regretted it later as the same player went on to pull off a capture or to support another in successfully doing so. Of course, none of my team-mates could have known that it was indirectly my fault, but that doesn't make such a miss any more excusable. Everyone makes 'unforced errors', but the pros always seek to minimise these; because they of all players realise just how important it is to stay focused. Yep, shooting in a straight line can be more difficult than it seems. Quite a lot of space between my shot and my opponent there. Nice one, Goldy. Nice one. As well as maintaining a high level of accuracy, stronger players try to maximise the damage they do with their shots. Using Railgun's penetrating effect and lining up opponents where possible allows players in the top Starladder leagues and tournaments to effectively cause 2 or even 3 times the normal Railgun damage to an enemy team in one go. For those weapons which can, the ability to damage multiple targets at once can and should be taken advantage of at all times. The stronger players not only keep this in mind, but also seek to avoid allowing their opponents to do the same. The most aware players will always try to predict risk, and act to reduce it. Spin and... strike! It's a decent idea to aim at the turrets or edges of your opponents hulls once you've got 'em lined up, just so you can knock off any retaliatory shots they'll try to make if they survive. In this case, it didn't matter. Maybe you're not such a noob after all, Goldy (smug smile) Last but not least... the more fancy one-versus-one moves can actually be very effective in team situations. Don't underestimate the importance of being able to spin your way to a difficult close-ranged shot. Whilst team-play and communication is most important in many battles, it definitely doesn't hurt if each individual player is highly skilled in his or her own right. Such skills take a lot of practice to perfect, and can often be the deciding factor in a close-run battle. Prioritising Targets and Co-ordinating Play We've all been in that situation before. You and a team-mate are up against a couple of opponents... and you both shoot at the same one even though only one of your shots was needed, allowing the other to escape unharmed. Or maybe you've seen some embarrassingly bad flag drop-offs on the battlefield. I certainly remember having to control my laughter on one particular occasion when I entered the enemy base, and the damaged flag-holder (who was looking the other way) dropped off the flag to me in error thinking I was a team-mate. I didn't even need to hit the spacebar at all! Anyway, this is precisely the sort of thing that any good team player will be careful to make sure they don't do. Whilst you might be a very skilled solo player, not only do you need to predict your opponent's moves, but also the moves of your team-mates. Pro tip: it's never a good idea to shoot an opponent who's already in the process of being destroyed by a team-mate. Probably would've been a better idea for me to look 'round for another target... Are they duelling an opponent and are about to finish him or her off? If so, there's just no need to slow down and help - your energy would be better spent focusing on more important targets. Similarly, if you're in your own base and about to capture but your flag is lying a few metres away, think fast as to what you'll do. Drop the flag near the capture point and go for the return yourself, and your team-mate should understand what to do without explanation. If you're attacking an enemy base with the intention of returning a flag being held, note that it's not always wise to shoot at the flag-holder. If the flag-holder's low on health but you know you wouldn't be able to return in time, damage another defender to limit the options for the flag-holder to pass off the flag to any team-mate. Decided to go for the guy blocking my trustworthy colleague whilst he aimed at the already damaged flag-holder. He just about got his shot off in time to take out the flag-holder before he hit me, leading to a pretty straightforward return. TY for the help, Foot Rest. These are all important points that any aspiring pro should take heed of. Sometimes, it's best not to destroy an opponent on purpose. Whilst I'm not saying you should waste your shots, it's often more advantageous to leave an opponent alive and damaged for a bit than to destroy him or her straight away, for then you can control your opponent's respawn. By the time they materialise back in their own base, you'll hopefully be long gone and about to capture. Map Awareness The Starladder maps are notorious for being some of the most difficult maps to crack in the game. Whilst Barda's a more comfortable classic, Red Alert's very fast-paced and Parma can be a nightmare if you're having an off day in terms of your aiming. As a result, each map takes a lot of practice to master. Here's an important 'pro tip': get out of those Sandbox XP/BPs once in a while! And no, that doesn't mean you should mix it up with the occasional Poly CP - challenge yourself to explore the larger, more dynamic SL maps. Yes, it's true that Sandbox is helpful for practicing the basics (after all, a 'sandbox' is quite literally a development and testing environment for all your software geeks out there). However, I think a lot of Starladder players would agree with me that being a good Sandbox player does not mean you'll be good at Light Format or at playing in the SL maps. If you aspire to improve yourself in that respect, trying to join a team active on Starladder by applying in the appropriate manner (so no, not on their SL pages) is always a good way to get started. Watching a few streams of top-level matches on the Tanki eSports channel could be useful too, as long as you take note of the tactics unfolding in front of you. As you'd see in those streams, you need to be completely aware of the routes you can follow when carrying the flag, and their various pros and cons. The shortest route isn't always the best route - a lot of cover and support from drop-box sites, friendly respawning points and fellow team-mates is always preferable. And as I mentioned before, a pro should be able to 'drive blind' around most of these maps from one flag to the other, so you can keep your attention focused on opponents. It's never great when you're trying to be pro but you accidentally drive backwards into a wall, and then get shot even further off course by the opponent you were 'expertly' keeping an eye on. Heh. Capturing routes aside, even if you're an offensive player you should be familiar with the best positions and routes for others. Remember where the most effective defensive spots lie, and keep track of winding midfield routes. In a fast-paced battle, top players often have to switch around and cover for each other's roles as a necessity. Any pro will know how each role in a map is performed best, and how to play in each one effectively, whether specialised in that role or not. Game Instinct and Mindset This one's for all you more experienced players out there. A lot of this article has been dedicated to 'covering the basics', so now's a good opportunity to get a little more advanced. What distinguishes many SL Star and Pro Series from the rest is their instinctive ability. Often, they can just tell when an opponent's hiding around a corner, or when they're about to get shot from behind (keeping your battle sounds on is useful in this respect). Not only do they understand the workings of the game inside-out, but they can also quite literally read the minds of their opponents. They can assess the playing style of the teams and individuals they face, and react accordingly. Reaching this stage is a vital part of becoming a pro. You shouldn't just be able to physically drive and aim accurately, and mentally plan your moves - you should also have some gut instinct in terms of how to handle a variety of battle situations formed over years of playing the game. Many players do have such instinct, but it's the strongest players who manage to focus it. A pro should be able to predict events before they happen without any prior warning, and react to them before they even take place. But how can you actually this? Don't worry, there's no special keys on your keyboard you've been missing out on or something - it's all about getting yourself in the right mindset. Don't allow yourself to be distracted, and constantly think about what's going on everywhere on the battlefield, not just in your immediate vicinity. After a while of consciously thinking about this psychological aspect of the game whilst you play, you should start to feel that you can manipulate and make use of your own gut instincts more effectively. I'm sure there's someone around that corner... He'll pop out of cover to conveniently get hit by my shot any time now... This factor is heavily affected by natural ability, but can definitely be improved upon with experience and practice. The best players in the game often started out with an innate aptitude for it, but that doesn't mean that every successful player was a pro gamer right from the start. Again, the more you play and practice/train yourself to think in such a way, the easier it'll be to form correct instincts under pressure. And last but not least... Attitude and Fair Play So here we have it: the final and possibly the most crucial point of this article. If there's anything you take from this article, take this. It doesn't matter if you have all the skills, tactical know-how and instinctive ability in the world. You'll never ever ever succeed if you don't have the right attitude. Both highly successful and not-so-successful players start out from the lowest ranks and lose many battles during their Tanki career. The difference lies in how successful players react to their losses. On too many occasions, I've seen EN teams with strong players and a lot of potential break apart and fail due to their members and leadership not being able to hold the team together after being knocked out of a league stage or tournament. Many of these teams were very good at all the other points mentioned above, but fell down at this last hurdle, blaming and pointing fingers when they lost a match. What the EN community's stronger Light Format players need to realise is that staying mature and not giving up is vital for them to reach their goals. However, this isn't the only part of what makes up a successful player's attitude. As well as having a level-headed approach, it takes real determination and drive to achieve success as a player, such as by reaching Star Series. The vast majority of such players will have had a 'perfectionist' attitude, continuously working to improve their playing ability and gaining experience in teams with close friends. And eventually, after a lot of time and effort, they would've managed to break through into the elite. Persistence and commitment - both are absolutely necessary to achieve success and become a pro player. If you don't have the motivation, you won't make it. A decent example of a pre-game etiquette chat in a Sandbox 3 vs 3 XP/BP, where I used my amazing knowledge of the Russian language. The conversation seemed polite enough, though I may or may not have had any idea what that Cazok guy was saying. On your quest to professionalism, take some time to consider the value of fair play. In XP/BP battles, it's basic courtesy not to capture flags when your opponents are short a few players, and to generally respect the players you face. The strongest players in the game never under-estimate their opponents. This appreciation of the ability of others means that such players can both adapt their playing style to combat others rapidly, and achieve a solid reputation amongst their peers. "Being a pro isn't just about skill, control or tactical awareness. It's about setting the right example for other players as they progress through their own Tanki careers." ~ Goldy, 2015. That pretty much covers everything. Hopefully you learnt a thing or two, and any feedback or comments would be appreciated. What do you think it takes to be a pro? Join in the discussion and post your own thoughts below!

Very well-designed topic... ...but I just wonder how you'd be able to enforce your rules as well as the official Mine Hunt, let alone better than them, because they benefit from having chat mod Spectators at hand who can remove violators from the battle. However, I guess you've accounted for that with the idea of a loyal Members' List, and I hope it goes well. Good luck with this!

Pretty inaccurate. Either a. don't misrepresent the facts just to push your own agenda, or b. don't believe every one-sided story you hear... Not to mention this is completely irrelevant to the topic at hand. I expected a higher level of maturity from yourself.

GoldRock

R.I.P. One another note, is there really any need to create a topic for every vaguely notable person who passes away? Death is a fact of life, and I don't personally value this person's passing over the passing of any other person from this world. All people make their mark on this world in their own unique ways, and the world wouldn't be what it is without everyone who makes it up.

Sorry, had to be done.

hi kanadarools, how's it been going m8