Great article! I don't have Viking, but I think a lot of the ratings here could apply to its older brother, Dictator, which I do have.

Hmm, I wasn't aware this was the "argue about the drug update" thread.

Hmm, interesting. I expected the other songs to win the contest (I mean, they're more popular. Hotel California came out a LONG time ago).

Nice! Just as a footnote, N20 in real life DOES contribute to global warming.

Somebody was using M0 Shaft/Hornet in a Gismo match? :blink:

It's really easy to jump/climb on top of a Viking and bomb it.

I was in a Highland TDM (the ranks were from WO2 to 1st Lieutenant) with tons of Thunders, but not many Thunder protection paints. You can guess what combo I pulled out: M1 Dictator/M1 Thunder/Cedar. To say the least, I managed to rack up a good D/L ratio. The other team was mostly M1 Vikings (there was one M0 Hunter and one M1 Titan), and my Thunder went to town on them. Cedar paint, the massive health of M1 Dictator, and a Double Armor (they were drugging, so I could counter drug) reduce Thunder damage to the level of a non-crit Smoky, and I could hold my own against about 3 enemies at the same time. Edit: Oops, typo. Thanks, trom.

My M1 Shaft will be able to kill vanilla (I'm assuming non or very little MUed) M2 Hornets once it finishes MUing. Considering how popular Hornet is, it's really nice to be able to one-shot all 3 modifications that I'm going to be seeing often.

M1 Hunter has slightly more health too, just saying. If you can wait, you'll be glad you bought it. If you can wait until WO3 at least, M1 Dictator is an extremely good choice. It's just a little slower than M1 Viking, but has massive health.

As a Shaft: 1. If you're just out to kill things, shoot the hulls that you know you can kill in one shot. 2. If somebody has your flag, shoot them. 3. If you're in a good camping spot, place mines guarding the entrances so people have a harder time killing you. 4. If there are a lot of enemy Shafts out there, use a paint that protects from Shaft. If there aren't, use a paint that protects against the turrets the enemies are trying to kill you with. If you're in a really good camouflage spot, you might want to consider using a paint that gives you camouflage. 5. Change locations every once in a while. 6. You occasionally get the opportunity to pull off long range crack shots. Those are really cool to score, but do so only if you don't have much else to shoot at. 7. If you're using cover, duck back into cover after you shoot.

Hopefully it'll come next issue.

Yep. If you need to be patched up, look for health kits. If you can't find that, suck the life force out of flipped/distracted enemies.

Well, I think I have enough critical damage for now (65.9, I think). My Smoky is now quite formidable, and should last me for a while. I also MUed my Wasp (it has ~99 HP now), my Shaft (one more upgrade level, and I can 1-shot vanilla M2 Hornets), and Lead paint (20% protection now, I can survive a vanilla M0 Shaft shot when used on my Wasp). Anything you'd suggest, Trom?

Don't question it. Just accept it.

I'm thinking of MUing my M1 Smoky a little bit now that there's a MU sale. What parameters should I upgrade? Critical damage seems the most logical, so I'll do that right now, but do you recommend anything else?

I'm thinking of MUing my M1 Smoky a little bit now that there's a MU sale. What parameters should I upgrade? Critical damage seems the most logical, so I'll do that right now, but do you recommend anything else?

I don't have any, so I devote all my time and effort to this one.

You're not taking into account the speed. If it's alright for you, then OK.

You should really add "The Dangers of Procrastination by Hogree has been delayed to the next issue" to the end of every newspaper. Great newspaper! I can't wait for the next one (which isn't coming out for a while, unfortunately).

Seems like a lot of you are masters of procrastination. Still, you pull off a lot of stuff that would be considered impossible; you somehow manage to put an entire newspaper together in about 2 days or less.

Do one on potatoes next.

Reserved. I might change this submission later, since I'm not sure about the quality of this one. Penguins, contests, conspiracies, oh my! By @Thekillerpenguin Rumors have been circulating throughout the game and forum about a user named Thekillerpenguin. He has been accused of gaming the contest system somehow, as he has won some position in almost every contest he has entered in. The Dictator interviewed several users about the matter. "There is no way Thekillerpenguin's hands are clean in these affairs!", said someone who preferred to remain anonymous. "Everybody knows it's impossible to win one contest after another, right? Look at Smoky's critical hit mechanics! You can't possibly get a crit after another! Thekillerpenguin's been planting sleeper agents in newspaper staff! He's been giving the reporters subliminal messages! He's spiking their food! I'm sure of it! He's part of an NSA plot to steal our freedom!" The next interviewed user was a certain "trumpet_the_best". He replied "Maybe he's just really lucky. I mean, he sees gold boxes pretty often, and his Smoky gives him crits a lot. It's possible that he's just happened to score highly in all these contests. I don't believe all these crazy tin-foil hat people." The famous newspaper editor Hogges also replied to the request for comment. "There's TOTALLY a conspiracy going on. I mean, everybody knows that penguins are terrible animals, the antithesis to the magnificent pigs. There is no way my staff would let a penguin win a contest of their own free will. Now that I think of it, how does Thekillerpenguin even play Tanki! Penguins don't have fingers! He can't control his tank nearly as well as he seems to do! ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED! I'M CALLING SEMYON!" He then proceeded to run down the hallway, out the building, and onto the highway to reach Tanki headquarters. No word on whether he's returned yet. The Dictator was also PMed by an unknown source. "hi this is hazl kirrov we lik to askk u to ban tekilerrpnngin cuz he dinie mi uz of ma da comunnityyz crys cuz he wn conntests plz ban k btw giv acc an crys plz?

M1 Smoky works great for me. Maybe you're just not that lucky.

M2 Dictator becomes obsolete by the time you get to Gizmo. Unless you MU it a lot, you'll have a harder time competing against M3s. M2 Hunter suffers a similar problem, but it's not as a big of a deal since M3 Hunter is unlocked at Fieldmarshall instead of Generalissimo, and you don't need to MU it as much to let it hold its ground against M3s.

An Isida sale would be appreciated. I'm not ranking fast enough to get to 3rd Lieutenant by tomorrow, but I can at least get the marginally-better M1 Isida (it's not much of an improvement, but still). It's a stepping stone to M2 Isida. Really wish there was a sale on Hunter though.