^I can already see my chances of winning drifting away.... :lol:

I think I successfully made a plot twist. Honestly, I like my idea better than the quality of the writing, but whatever. Clarity 601 words in all. Ik, super long.... And even with all that it still had an abrupt ending. Had a lot of fun writing throughout this contest though, a big shoutout to Grey for the opportunity to do it.

I may be able to join, but no promises. Could you post the requirements? I thought you were starting your own clan? If you're reconsidering your exit though, feel free to re-apply any time. Edit: T.L.A, if you are gonna be in this clan, I'd suggest you start displaying better conduct towards others. Part of bein' a dragon is keeping your cool when others aren't. And don't call people kid, it's not really an insult. xD

Sequel plz. Nuf said.

Sorry I'm not joining training. Pro pass required, and I don't have one xD. Also it's 10:30 here and I should be in bed.

First off, had a god duel with Player2k15. First one in a long time, and the closest one in a while too. It was great, except for his annoying tendency to drug. :P A few minutes before, I had caught the easiest gold of my life. xD And much to my chagrin, I ranked up. I was so engrossed in a CTF that I failed to notice my ever-increasing EXP count. Well, whatever....

I remember when Zen was a WO5 and he told me he was applying for reporter. At the time, I didn't know much about him. Now, however, after about six months, I can say that he's most certainly up for the job. (y) And congo to Flex and the flooder Tweez too. xD

:lol: Among my favorites of this issue, Zen, and that's saying a lot.

Idk if it's acceptable if I list two of my friends who aren't logged into the forum, but in the chance that it is: Big_pink_ball Nosrac_Neelhtak Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

I'm lost for words. You've taken the newspaper to a whole new level!

Plz cen I join the XP/BP group. My's name are Nathaniel and i is like XP/BP battles. i is very pro with my ralgun end i can shoot 2 shots and kill everybody! my's doolist page are verry sucesfull only 1 defeet and many wins. when i renk up 2 captain i is buy mosiquito kit and get mor the power. i always deestroy player_2015_tenker in sandbox duel, he haven't beet me in long time. plz consider my aplication!!!! :) :) ;) ;) :D :D :lol: :lol: :P :P :angry: :angry: :wub: :wub: <_< <_< -_- -_- :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :o :o

Pro solution. :lol: I have an urge to write another wall of text, but I'll spare ya'll. All I wanna say is that we should have proper conduct towards other tankers/clans/members. We don't wanna become like one of those EN clans that are completely egotistical and full of themselves. Act with a certain level of courtesy in all situations, even if the person you're talking to isn't. Never stoop to name-calling or anythin' like that, k. There we go! That wasn't so long, was it?

Best nickname ever :lol:. Anyways, I just did, will respond shortly. GJ people for keepin' the spam down, I applaud you. Internets getting fixed today, so I may be able to join any trainings.

^Including an approximately 5,000 word article by Hog that was on the main TO page. I had no idea what XP was until I discovered the newspaper. Can't wait till issue 54!

Note to the newbies (and everyone else actually): The Tanki devs, being the wise, benevolent leaders that they are, have bestowed upon us a lovely little button commonly called "the edit button." Don't be afraid to use it, it comes quite in handy (or leggy in the case of myself and a few other clan members) when you want to say a lot of things in one post without flooding the clan page. Additionally, you don't have to say everything that pops into your mind (the Skype chat is for that). If you have a question, then feel free to ask it, but try to not say utterly useless stuff like (this is simply an example): Can I come to trainig plzzzz? :D :P ;) :) :angry: ^_^ B) :wub: :mellow: The answer to that question is obvious. Of course you can come to training, what would be the point of a training that didn't allow you to join? As for when trainings are, you can either check the main page, or glance through previous pages to see if any clan members have set up any temporary trainings for one day. The last thing in my wall of text is a reminder that DragonOfStorms, although an amazing leader in every way, is simply a human dragon, and is under the constraints that all dragons are under. Consequently, he needs things that are essential to a dragon's survival, namely: SLEEP. Don't be expecting a reply from him at a moments notice, k. He ain't a superhumandragon. K, ty. Your inactive yet ever-watchful co-leader, Gnat the gnoob

^Ditto, only I don't have thumbs. Two insect legs up will have to do. :P

Congo! You're gonna be OP with Jackhammer. That's gr8. Especially the clan war and the XP/BP Parma war. :D Au revoir. Your grammar naziing on the Skype chat will be sorely missed.

It shoots a stream of incredibly complex nanobots. It may be fairly green, but nothing definite has come up yet.

Author's note: I came up with this idea several months ago, when I began to think of what a story from the perspective of the "bad" tankers would be like. At the time, I was reading "The Screwtape Letters," so this scenario came quickly to mind (Side note: I'm not taking credit for this at all. This idea came straight from C.S. Lewis). Unlike my previous articles, this isn't really meant for entertainment, it's more of an experiment to see if it would work. Consequently, don't be expecting a riveting story ;). You have been warned. The Letters of Troe El My dear Mr. Mer, I'm pleased to hear of your acceptance into Scammer Circle. I've heard many things about you, acclaiming you for your quick thinking and boldness. I was asked by our grand leader Ruelbray Kur to be your mentor in the coming trials, and so I pen this letter in an effort to guide you through your apprenticeship. The path to being an expert scammer is a tedious mind-numbing experience that requires skill, the ability to think on-the-go, and not a little knowledge concerning the players of Tanki Online. In my youth, I was exceptionally skilled in the art of scamming, before I was transferred to troll duty. Enclosed in these letters are my choicest words on the subject. Read, and enjoy. Your mentor, Mr. El Dear Mr. Mer, Looking through your records, I've seen that you're remarkably perceptive; a trait that will be most helpful in the future. The exams testing your ability to work out relatively simple problems, however, have proven you to be rather lacking in a few areas. There is much to learn, but we must start with the basics. Scamming is an art, in which immense skill is utilized to cheat others out of their Tanki accounts. To start off with, you'll need to realize what types of players frequent the Tanki chats of each server. I'd recommend beginning on EN9. Here the most gullible Tanki players congregate to chatter about pointless topics. They'll generally be overjoyed at the prospect of "free" crystals - thinking that, like most other games, there are cheats aplenty to choose from. Once you gain the trust of your target, typically after a few well-timed lies, you'll need to invite him into a battle. Here is where the genuine scamming begins. The fundamental rule is that your target should never get the impression that he's getting duped. Once alerted, even the most unintelligent tankers will begin to suspect something. Commence with the swindling immediately; the longer the scam takes, the more likely your unfortunate prey will catch on. To prevent suspicion, keep a running dialogue with him, effectively calming his mind to any questionable ploys used by you. After some time of talking, get down to the real business. A simple "all I need is your password and I'll give you 999999 crystals" should do the trick. If you encounter any pushback after this statement, you can use these simple tactics. 1. Act like a mod. When I first learned this strategy in scam school, I laughed, believing tankers to be too smart for such an obvious lie. My beliefs have changed. Overall, it's been my most successful scam move. Threaten them with every punishment under the sun, or give them an excuse (almost any will do). I've noted in my experience that telling them transferring crystals is part of a mod's job will regain their trust. Perfect tactic for a wily scammer. 2. Blab your head off. I apologize for my simple wording, but this is an extremely effective maneuver. Talking often calms the mind of the average tanker, and will lull him into a sense of false security, giving you the perfect opportunity for your work. Keep up the "nice guy" approach, telling them all the sugar-coated reasons you're helping them and frequently reminding them of what an extra bunch of crystals could do to their garage. 3. Threaten to leave. When presented with the prospect of you leaving without giving him his free crystals, the victim will customarily become like a docile pony, complying with your every whim. At this point, you have him fully in your grasp. Finish your work quickly and leave the battle. With these tips, you should be well suited for the start of your training. Think quick, act fast, and you'll become an excellent scammer. Your affectionate mentor, Troe El

Can I just say.... In response to your query regarding turret usage, my answer is Twins. Although we've yet to isolate all its components, it seems to be the greenest turret, with Rico and Shaft in second and third respectively. Oh mah gudness! The famus conspicary theorist commented! My life is fulfilled. Anyways, my apologies, I realized that this was only the tip of a sickeningly enormous iceberg, but my researchers had yet to find any more evidence in this short period of time. We would greatly appreciate it if you would join us in our endeavor, as you seem to be well-informed on this subject. I only addressed the things that we (the TRC) considered the worst of the worst. Hornet, Wasp, and Hunter, while not necessarily green, are not huge hazards. To the contrary, it consumes surprisingly little. The low weight means that its gas mileage is considerably less than most of the hulls. I hardly consider one article in the AWC section of the Tanki forum "taking the mic," but I respect your opinion. Sorry if I offended you, and believe it or not, I do care about endangered species, as I live in an area where there are a ton. And actually, my parents are endangered species, there are few people as amazing as them in this world, especially my dad. #FathersDay :)

cool

Oh, I almost forgot....

^ Some people were sorta accusing you of spam, Player. Shocking ain't it? xD Congo on your drug kit, btw. .__.

Aw, thanks. I don't have much of a sense of common though, if you get what I mean. xD Yeeeeeees! You can be... idk, maybe a board member. Well, Clay is all natural, and hunter has one of the best engines compared to its weight in terms of carbon emission, so you're good there. Smoky is the only hazard, especially at M3. :') Thanks for the support, even from such shameless dog lovers. And thanks to all you other people, I believe this has been my most well-received article yet.

K, I think it's time for an intervention. I've been watching your goings-on from my email, and I think that maybe there's a little bit too much spam. Try to keep it down. K, ty. :) *Gnat retreats back into the shadows* :ph34r: