Just wondering, will augments still be available in containers?

Goodbye Cedric! Best of luck in the future!

Lmao that's me right there. Bought 800k worth of augs and spent nearly every single crystal I earned in the past few months.

Hey there, tankers! This nostalgia journey of mine is never complete without the return of the newspaper's classic contests! ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Task: The title is pretty self-explanatory. With the given images, provide a description of the scene. I'm not going to object to any simple descriptions ("The Fire-Wasp is driving towards the flag" or "A Mammoth is about to step on a mine"), but of course, it'd be much better if you'd write some creative. I need something fun to read. For an example, please check the past winners here: [issue 48] [Results] Describe This In 100 Words! [issue 50] [Results] Describe This In 100 Words! [issue 53] [Results] Describe This In 100 Words! No, we are NOT including the one that I ragequitted on. Here are the images: Enter your responses in this Google Form to be considered for any prizes. Rules: 1. Enter with one account only. 2. No plagiarism. If you need to quote something, please put in quotes. 3. Keep your responses 100 words and under according to the title. Anything over 101 words will be immediately disqualified. 4. Enter a response for one picture only. I will update the form so that you can do so. Prizes: First Place - 30 000 crystals + 15 containers Second Place - 20 000 crystals + 10 containers Third Place - 15 000 crystals + 5 containers Any other deserving entries will receive a consolation prize of 10 000 crystals. But hurry! Remember to submit your entries before 1 June to be considered for a prize. ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Good luck! Enjoy this contest, and may the best writer win!

Guess what's back! Yes, it's the "Caption This" contest. Want to take part? Read below to see what you have to do! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Hey everyone! Who's ready for another contest? I hope you sure are, because ready or not, I'm giving away some crystals for some awesome captions.. Keep reading if you want a chance at some crystals. Task: Caption these pictures. I promise that they are funny. Enter your responses in this Google Form. Entries posted elsewhere will not be considered. Rules: 1. Enter with one account only. 2. No plagiarism. If you need to quote something, please put in quotes. 3. Keep your responses short and sweet - don’t hit me with a textwall. Prizes: First Place - 40 000 crystals Second Place - 30 000 crystals Third Place - 25 000 crystals A consolation prize of 20 000 crystals will be given to any other deserving entries. Remember to turn in your entries before 16 October to be eligible to win these crystals. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Best of luck to all participants!

Bored during quarantine and pining for the days when you could see sunlight and enjoy time off with your friends? Well, if you're missing all those memories, then why not write about it here? ______________________________________________________________________________________________________ As I'm rotting away in the house, I can't help but think of the summers that my friends and I spent together enjoying the time off. Every morning, I wake up with pangs of nostalgia, longing to go back to when life was normal. All I can think of doing is writing these memories down so I can go back to somewhere when I eventually lose my mind. PR, you've lost your mind multiple times already. I don't know who you're trying to fool with this sentence. Task: Write about one of your own Tanki experiences that brings back old memories. Anything from your first match to the time you met your best friend in the game counts. It may be very tempting to write "this game sucks now 2014 was way better", so I will warn you, please refrain from criticizing the game. The task is to write about a memory related to you, not something that the game could do better. If you have a visual aid, feel free to send along a screenshot if you have one to set the scene. For example, here is my rankup to Third Lieutenant. Rules: 1. Enter with one account only. 2. No plagiarism. 3. I can’t verify this, but please make it your own experience. It’s not time to make up a story about parkouring as a Recruit, but rather come up with a memory of Tanki the way you remember it. 4. Remember to submit your entry in this topic. 5. Word Limit: 250 words. 6. Do not use this contest as a way to criticize Tanki. All entries caught doing so will be immediately disqualified and warned. Prizes: First Place - 40 000 crystals Second Place - 30 000 crystals Third Place - 25 000 crystals Any other deserving entries will receive 15 000 crystals. Just remember to turn in your entry before 26 June 19:00 UTC and you'll be fine. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Tankers, grab a pencil and paper, start writing, and destroy quarantine boredom with your best Tanki Memory! Good luck!

Approved. Amazing story! I had been waiting for another chapter of this series for a short while, and I can surely say it was worth the wait. I'm impressed with the way your storywriting is: descriptive, suspenseful, and adventurous. I can't wait for another story. Keep it up! Edits:

guess who's wasting their crystals tomorrow.... yea, me

You're quite right. A helper has dropped. TWNC though, I am harmless.

Approved. Great interview! I've learned a lot more about J_A_B_C_I_T while reading this article. However, the big problem here was likely the grammar. Perhaps you could run it through a grammar-checking program or ask a friend to read it before you send it to the AWS. Overall, though, I'm impressed with the interview quality - it was awesome. Keep it up! Edits:

I think you need to drink a certain amount of water each day. This kid at my school has a water bottle with the desired amount - it's heavy! Do you enjoy drinking water?

Great interview! It's great to learn about another helper. I'm thinking you should ask him to elaborate his answers or write more description into them, because in my opinion, they did seem a bit short. While I did get to know Like.Dead, I would have liked to get to more about his personality, which can show through more descriptive answers and deeper questions. You did ask a bit about him (age, country), perhaps you could include something like a few hobbies he likes to do outside of TO, for instance. In your next interview, try to implement these, and I assure you, that interview will be even more of a success than this one. Please no kill me for constructiv criticism I really liked this article but there was just something I wanted to suggest

Approved. Great story! I loved the plot and the character development - there was so much to read I was a bit too absorbed to be paying attention to anything else happening. I'm really impressed with the plot line. It started so casual and chill until the end (I won't be spoiling it for anyone!) and the event lead up was amazing and suspenseful. I'm impressed by your story. Keep up the good work! And of course, welcome to the AWS! Edits:

Approved. I don't think I have the right to edit such a beautifully written story. It's been quite a while since the last post of this series, so I'm excited to see that the Yesterville series is continuing!

I have to disagree with you on this point, at least in theoretical terms. Juggernaut's weight, though massive (5000 kg? don't quite know the units) across all modifications, is certainly not enough to withstand an enemy juggernaut's overdrive force. Additionally, Juggernaut's structure , has an elevated middle in the hull, which raises the center of mass of the tank, making it easier to flip (as a higher center of mass creates more instability). Combine that with some sort of extreme force (other Juggernaut's OD) or high speeds (going down a ramp at near 20m/s), Juggernaut's going to be in trouble. Of course, this is entirely theoretical, so further statistical studies need to be done to determine if Juggernauts do flip a little too often.

Last time on Parkour Physics, we learned about the various aspects that keep our tanks driving in the way they do. Now, let’s go ahead and learn about just exactly where this motion comes from. Sit down, grab a notebook and pen, and take some good notes, because you’re reading Crash Course: Parkour Physics. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ Hello again! It’s now the second issue of this physics-based series, so I hope you’re all hanging in there alright. We’ve just covered kinematics, but if you haven’t, perhaps you would like to do so here before moving on the best topic in physics: forces. Since the topic of forces is quite a complicated one, I’ll break it down into two. We’ll start with the basics of Newton’s Laws before moving on to more complex force situations in the next issue. Warning Label (Please Read before continuing) To interpret this document, it is best that you have some background in trigonometry and algebra. I will do my best to explain the non-physics mathematics. Please contact me through Forum PM if you have any issues. Forces? You mean like the Force? No. Good one, though. Here’s a point for trying. But no, forces are the interactions between two objects (a push or a pull). (Yes, I know… this explanation is awfully awkward. I’m very sorry.) Again, just like how kinematics has two types, linear and rotational motion, forces come in two general different types: contact forces and non-contact forces. We’ll discuss the differences later. First, let’s learn about Newton’s Laws. This will be a short and sweet lesson. In the next issue, I'll cover more about parkour and physics. Actually, no, before we begin, a quick story. Did you know that Newton was on break due to the Black Death when he discovered these laws that define physics? (And he discovered calculus, so that’s also the same guy to blame for all the problems with derivatives and integrals.) So, just something to think about, while in lockdown, you can learn something new too. Even though you might not revolutionize physics and math, there’s something out there that you can begin to understand. Okay, yeap, that’s enough rambling for now. Let’s get down to real physics. Newton’s First Law (Law of Inertia) An object will continue in its state of motion unless compelled to change by a force impressed upon it. Basically, if an object, like that annoying unmovable Mammoth sitting on the Assault base, is at rest, it will stay at rest unless an unbalanced force acts on it. Same goes for another object moving at a constant velocity; it will move in a straight line unless an unbalanced net force acts on it. This property (an object’s natural resistance to changes in its state of motion) is also known as inertia, hence why this law is also known as the Law of Inertia. I’d demonstrate with an example, but seriously, I’ve looked so far and wide through my ten physics books and found not one example just covering the first law, so let’s move on. Newton’s Second Law When a net external force ΣF acts on an object with mass m, the acceleration a that this object experiences is directly proportional to the force ΣF and inversely proportional to the mass m; in other words, ΣF=ma (a=ΣF/m). The acceleration that the object experiences should also be in the same direction of the net force. Three quick things to address before I move on: First, the units are kg・m/s2, which becomes the compound unit Newtons (named after the man who came up with these laws). Second, force is still a vector, so it has pesky x and y components. I promise, one day, these bothersome vectors will no longer be the biggest problem in physics. Last but definitely never least, my AP Physics 1 review book wants to remind you that it is the most equation in mechanics, so if you don’t take away anything else from this article, perhaps you’ll remember that ΣF=ma. Okay, sorry for the huge textwall, moving on… Example 1 An Mk8 Wasp/Shaft takes careful aim at a 4000kg Mammoth Mk8, then snipes perfectly at the dead center of the Mammoth, imparting 650N of impact force. What is the magnitude of the Mammoth’s acceleration? Explanation Newton’s Third Law This is probably the law that everyone always remembers for the wrong reasons. (“To every action action, there is an equal, but opposite, reaction”) Formally, it’s when one object exerts a force on another object, the second object exerts an oppositely directed force of equal magnitude on the first object. These forces are commonly known as an action-reaction pair. Example 1 Let’s look back at example 1. Two quick follow-up questions: a. What is the magnitude of the force that the Wasp/Shaft (2000kg) experiences? b. What is the magnitude of the acceleration of the Wasp/Shaft? Explanation Thanks for reading so far. We’ve just finished discussing Newton's Laws. As promised, we’re going to analyze the reasons behind the legendary status of Wasp Mk1. The Real Reason Why Wasp Mk1 is Legendary (not clickbait) Wasp Mk1 has almost always been the choice of parkourists ever since the sport (idk, isn’t parkour a sport in real life?) was born in Tanki. Through quick process of elimination, parkourists have chosen Wasp as the fastest and lightest hull. Why not Hornet?, one might ask. Well, Wasp and Hornet both have the same mass, but the difference lies in where the mass is concentrated. Wasp has part of its hull elevated, while Hornet lacks that, giving Wasp a higher center of mass (we’ll discuss that later). This gives Wasp its characteristic instability, which makes it all the easier to flip. Take a moment to chuckle while I catch my breath. As parkourists experimented further, they discovered that while Wasp increases in speed with each modification, it also gained a significant amount of mass. The mass gain meant that a Shaft shot only propels the hull a fraction of the distance it used to (remember? a=ΣF/m, so when m is doubled with ΣF staying constant, a is halved). Parkourists soon caught on, and realized that the ideal parkour machine needed to go to Weight Watchers. So of course, the M0 Wasp was perfect for the game, having a significant amount of speed as well as the lightest weight to keep it flying in the air for the longest time. _____________________________________________________________________________________________ So there you have it, another parkour physics episode wrapped up. We’ll talk more about forces with gravity and friction, as well as introduce some more complex force situations next time. Until then, that's it! A huge thank-you to @Pun to making this signature!

Pokemon Go should have been really popular if it had been released now. What's a game (other than TO) that you play now?

Ah yes, you are correct here. This is why I'll get into forces and energy as well. That'll be coming soon! Ah, good point, thanks for the reminder. I guess I was so into physics I forgot about making sure I followed the math processes. I'll keep it in mind during the next episode.

Congratulations are in order to @Dynasty for joining the FR Newspaper! waw noice pfp

I'm quarantined at home, so I just wear my pajamas 24/7. ? So, how are you enjoying being quarantined? (Unless you aren't, then say something random)

Approved. First of all, happy belated birthday to Flying Juniors and Happy Dragons! During the article, I had to resist crying tears of nostalgia while reading, so you definitely mastered the art of emotional appeal. I like the repetitive structure to a point, though I would suggest a "Do you remember?" and then some description per paragraph because the questions do feel a bit too repetitive after a while. Overall, great work! Hopefully you will continue writing in the AWS. Edits:

Soaps have so many brands, but unfortunately, I don't have a sink handy all the time, so I use Purell hand sanitizer. Do you prefer soap or hand sanitizer?

Finally, the contest that helped me discover the forum returns for a second edition! Tankers, I give you the Tanki Horoscopes Contest. Introduction: Just short of two years ago, I discovered the Tanki Online newspaper. Immediately, the first topic that caught my eye was the Tanki Horoscopes Contest, and I ended up joining the forum and participating, eventually winning a consolation prize. I’m grateful that I was able to discover the Tanki Online Newspaper and forum, so I’ll run this contest in hopes that other tankers will be able to find the forum through this. Task: Okay, enough blathering from me, let’s see what you have to do to get your crystals. The task is pretty simple: write a Tanki-related horoscope for at least one astrological sign, be it yours, your brother’s, your best friends, one you picked from a random chooser, or all of the above. It doesn’t matter about the truth of the prediction or the outcome stated, but the details. A horoscope shouldn’t be extremely specific (“there will be a 12 gold box gold rain on a Bridges CTF on XX/XX”) or overly vague (“something will happen soon”), but rather communicate a blend of the two, a specifically unspecific middle ground. Rules: But before you get started just yet, take a few minutes to read the rules: 1. Enter with ONE account only. 2. Please post your responses in a reply to this topic. If your response is of significant length, be sure to hide it in a spoiler. 3. Please don’t rip the horoscopes off Yahoo or the online newspaper you just read this morning, copy and paste, and replace the non-Tanki items with Tanki-related items. Doing so is not only extremely annoying but also slows the judging process which means the new head honcho in town will not approve of my mult-worthy behavior. Note: Infractions of any of the above will result in disqualification and, for severe cases, a ban from participating in future Newspaper contests. Prizes: Now that the boring stuff is over with, let’s get to the best part: the prizes. 1st Place - 35 000 crystals, 3 Containers ! 2nd Place - 25 000 crystals, 2 Containers ! 3rd Place - 20 000 crystals, 1 Container ! Any other deserving entries will win a consolation prize of 15 000 crystals! Deadline: August 20th, 2020 @12:00 UTC. - Results will be posted within two weeks of the deadline.

Your Dictator Issue will begin after this short advertisement. Yisroel forced to resign; It all started from cookies! By @Sacrifice The former dictator admin, @Yisroel.Rabin, was forced to resign on gun point by the ultimate reporter admin, @kaisdf. Rumor has it that Yisroel stole Kais's fresh baked cookies and kaisdf just couldn't stand that. His original plans were to push Yisroel off a cliff but due to the Coronavirus outbreak, TO is under a lock down and any roads that lead to a cliff are blocked and strictly moderated by commander of battle mods, Yele herself. Also fuel prices are very high these days and driving to a cliff wouldn't have been cost efficient. Kais's assistant, Regency, has been reported to have said that Kais was too lazy to drive to a cliff just to push Yisroel off of it anyways. A Note On The Dictator's Journalistic Independence by @Magenta We at The Dictator are very, very proud of our journalistic independence, and we boast of it on multiple occasions. Now what does it mean, you might ask, this journalistic independence? We decided to dedicate one segment of explaining just that. The Dictator is independent of forum politics, and free from the influential clutches of powerful entities like ex-CM Cedric Debono and his personal goon-cum-professional-hitman @Marcus, our very own own EN Newspaper Admin @kaisdf, and, in fact, all other admins. The Dictator has own purpose, one aim, one goal: to be Tanki's finest news source. Even if that news details on Cedric's evil plans of WORKS DOMINATION, kaisdf's role behind the disappearance of @Yisroel.Rabin, or any other investigative report the authorities don't want you to see. To be "Tanki's Finest News Source," whatever the cost, has always been The Dictator's guiding mantra. The founders of The Dictator realised, however, that our dedication to truth and fine news could be undermined by those with influence and vested interests, and hence fought - successfully - to enable journalistic independence for The Dictator. This means that our team of writers are completely free of any external influence, even from the EN Newspaper Admin. Our investigative journalists are completely anonymous, and our team receives it's paychecks directly from Perm without passing through any intermediaries. So, for example, Cedric cannot threaten to withhold our pay for publishing a piece not to his liking, or award a bonus to a reporter who is biased in favour of him. The Dictator is managed and edited entirely by a journalistically independent team, ensuring you get to read Tanki's finest news. However, times have been changing, and The Dictator's journalistic independence has come under threat. Multiple powerful entities in the EN forum have been scheming and plotting together at length, and are now preparing to pass unprecedented legislation that will end The Dictator's journalistic independence. If this happens, The Dictator's ability to report the unadulterated truth, however damaging to those with vested interests, might be critically undermined, robbing you of Tanki's finest news source. Of course, our excellent journalists have discovered this plot in advance, enabling The Dictator to take steps in order to safeguard our valuable journalistic independence. As part of the efforts to preserve this independence, we are trying to file a petition that will set The Dictator's journalistic independence into stone - literally, in fact, believe it or not (but of course you should believe us - who else will you believe, Cedric?) - so that in the future, nobody will be able to alter our rights of independence. However, we need your help in. We need as many people as we can get to sign this petition, hopefully racking up enough signatures to firmly demonstrate how much our readership values quality journalism. Guys, this is important. Please head over to https://www.thedictatorshouldbepresident.com, and sign your nickname. Don't bother reading the long and boring terms and conditions, our lawyer @Person_Random has already done the reading for you and certified them as irrelevant. Thank you. P.S: Your credit card number and social security number are valid signatures. Fears over Coronavirus spark fears, causes panic buying By @LOLKILLERTOTHEDEATH Due to the recent outbreak of Coronavirus, many tankers have grown greatly worried over limited supplies of supplies and have resorted to mass panic and hysteria. One tanker who goes by a name which I can’t reveal told us that “Da panik is real. We must st0ck up on dem speed boosts”. Another tanker we held at gunpoint said “I am flabbergasted by the covetousness of my fellow tanker. They gallop at sun up towards the server and start altercating over who gets to buy the speed boosts and who gets to take them from the map drops, sometimes pushing and shoving.” Over here in the reporter’s nonexistent office, we’ve run out of donuts and coffee, which is the fuel and life-blood needed to survive the tyrannical rule of admins. Our own admin, Darth Kaisdf, said “let them eat yellow butter cake”, when approached for a comment by the lowly candidate that is yours truly. Panic Buying In TO, Part II by @Person_Random Nobody: Players before the update: Credits to @Regency for making this fine meme! Following the announcement of Patch Updates #600, tankers rushed to the store in panic buys for alter- *ahem* A U G M E N T S in fear that they would no longer be available, which, unfortunately, turned out to be true. Immediately after news of the update leaked, the nightmare scenes once viewed in grocery stores all around the world began to materialize in Tanki's garages. Tankers were seen racing towards the garage armed as Fire-Wasps, rushing through the garage and flaming those in their way to collect these alter- erm, augments before they would disappear from the garage forever. This has only resulted in destruction and chaos from the very first moment. As tankers raced for augments, the fights became increasingly violent, leading up to a fateful Shaft duel, which resulted in the accidental detonation of a High Pressure Pump, which severely damaged Godmode_ON's gummy bear controller, leading to a malfunction which sparked a flood of container gold drops. Well, at the very least, we'll be able to get our augments from there. "What Coronavirus?" says Newspaper admin By @LOLKILLERTOTHEDEATH When we asked the administrator of the Newspaper slaves team, @kaisdf what he was planning to do during the Coronavirus. He said "You know it's a really special time of the year. For centuries, alcohol has been at the center of the life of humans, whether it be for medical purposes or just consumption. Coming together in a festival which celebrates this craze is certainly empowering. I, for one, am particularly excited. Corona has always been a favourite for me and I'm just really happy that it's getting recognized in this global celebration." When we tried to inform him about what the coronavirus pandemic is, we were scorned at for attempting to spread fake news. We were even told that we would go from 2 donuts to 1 donut a day if we tried to spread the fake news that coronavirus is a disease, not a call for people to party. We sincerely hope that you stay safe. During these times, our adminstrator is out at some beach in some place on some planet-oh, sorry. I meant on Earth. PFFFFT, Kaisdf is definitely from Earth. Melee Turrets battle Godmode_ON over Social Distancing Restrictions by @Person_Random To prevent the spread of coronavirus, Tanki's installed all the latest features of social distancing - mask wearing, six feet distance between tanks, you name it, Tanki's got it. But of course, this means that Firebirds and Freezes, once your most annoying enemies, have been reduced to nothing but useless meat shields by new Hull Augments and this social distancing guideline. Additionally, Isidas have all been taken to the front lines to provide for those currently suffering from the coronavirus. As usual, tankers exercising their right to free speech began protests. A team of Juggernauts has been sent to the scene, but were quickly pushed off of the ledges on Madness, prompting Godmode_ON himself to intervene. We're hoping that this battle doesn't take too long, because Godmode's promised us all the donuts we can eat if he wins. Mysterious Case-doof Embezzles Funds, The Dictator Needs Your Help by @Magenta We, The Dictator Writers, have now been waiting for our salaries for months now, ever since @Flexoo left the Newspaper. Whilst it is true that we haven't written anything for a long time, a basic salary is still due; however, we have received none. When The Dictator decided to carry out an investigation, shocking papers were unearthed. While the papers themselves cannot be published due to security concerns, we are at liberty to let you know that a mysterious figure named "Case-doof" has been embezzling our salary funds, intercepting them directly outside Perm; this outrage has been going on ever since the administration changed hands. When asked for comments, the current admin @kaisdf appeared profusely apologetic, blaming his own lack of administration experience for having let this rogue operate his or her devilry. While The Dictator is doing its utmost to apprehend this thief, we have something to ask from you, our loyal readers. Please consider donating. We have not been able to afford basic supplies like double armour for months, and our tanks are rusting in the garage because we can't afford fuel. At hard times like these, we have nobody to turn to except you. If you would like to donate to our poverty-ridden team so that we can continue churning out fine news, please call the toll free number 1800-HELP-THE-DICT. Alternatively, call freephone on TNK00-00000-03N68-LCEWL-PVQ4Z.

Reporters, of course. If I were an admin then maybe it'd be an admin's icon What are you doing right now?