I haven't tried horseradish in a while. What is a good salad dressing?

I think here, 'you' in the story is being addressed as Nathan by the sphere, so it would make sense, at least in my opinion.

Approved. Firstly, welcome to the AWS! Excellent story, as I was editing, I really enjoyed the plot. At first, the second person POV intimidated me a bit, but I realized it was a really good addition (though first person would have worked as well). One quick note, though, please remember to start a new paragraph when you switch speakers, as it was a little confusing to navigate through at first. ? Edits:

This song is now embedded in my head, which I suppose is a good thing ? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9DnUII28fI

-313

This game, like a fist fight, needs only two people to play. How many people do you want to participate in this game?

An Oxford comma, if i remember correctly, is an optional comma. Do you practice grammar in English classes?

Approved. Sorry for the late approval - I was a little confused and didn't notice this topic. It's a very inspirational story that might even make me go back and fix my noobness in Tanki. However, I feel like the execution can be improved by adding more unique words and varying sentence structure. I can't wait for a sequel or a more detailed story! Edits:

I think you forgot the apostrophe; it should be "What's down?". So anyways, let me steal your question: What's down?

Up and Down are opposites. Do opposites attract?

What is a wheb? Have you invented your own language?

Bored? Try Tanki! Boring? Try something new that’ll keep this game fresh and fun! _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ In the last few years, boredom and I have become the best of friends, playing tricks on each other and trying to get each other to succumb to the other. I hate to admit it, but boredom often got the better of me, taking me down and delegating its ugly relatives, such as anxiety and jealousy, to torture me. However, Tanki never got boring for me, and it easily became my way to evade boredom. But I suppose, even a good game gets a bit boring for players, especially if you’re stuck in the same rut, collecting stars for the newest Challenge. After a bit of thinking, I’ve collected ten unique ways to give this gaming experience a makeover. 1. Change Equipment. Most likely, we’re all just playing with the same combination through each battle, from last month’s Cross CTF to today’s Bridges TJR. While it’s good to get to know the equipment you’re playing with and become a true expert, sometimes, it can be the reason why you feel bored in battle. A Fire-Hornet is always going to outplay you, but you’re going to end the Thunder-Wasp before it gets close enough to land a good shot on you. It’s predictable, but after a million battles, don’t you ever feel like you should come out on top over the enemies that keep striking you down? Usually, a change of equipment allows you to experience a fresh point of view on this game and more importantly, get an advantage over the tankers who’ve always come out on top over you. Who knows what adventures a different turret or hull will bring? 2. Group up with Tanki friends for a battle. To most of us, group mode is a hassle: trying to get friends to join, choosing a game mode, making sure everyone’s ready for battle, playing against a larger variety of ranks and equipment levels all adds up to a file into the “Don’t Do” list. But on the other hand, playing with friends can actually be fun and advantageous. Usually, the extra communication you have with friends brings along better teamwork for much more efficient and effective gameplay. Additionally, the peer pressure that comes along gives you motivation not to look like a fool in front of your friends can benefit your performance, so that’s a win-win! 3. Parkour! Parkour can help you relax, get to know other tankers better, and cure boredom all in one. For me, the exhilaration of landing a trick always inspires me to try another. And even if you can’t do parkour, watching a Tanki video made by skilled parkourists is definitely a good substitute (and a way to learn some tricks to try with friends). 4. Join an event. Events are definitely a great way to bond with fellow tankers and showcase your parkour and battle skills. The thrill of seeing an event coming up, joining the “Events” chat, and earning a few extra crystals always stops boredom in its tracks. Even if you don’t get in, the fun of autoclicking and spamming the chat leaves you energized for another round of quick matches. 5. Take a break from Tanki. I remember deliberately refraining playing Tanki last year when things started to both get boring and annoying. At that time, I was more prone to anger outbursts, which was affecting my mood (and interpersonal relationships) at school, Tanki, and home as well as my performance. Often, this caused people to either provoke me more or stay far away from me, keeping me in a vicious cycle of anger, self-hate, and depression. Because I eventually saw that Tanki was negatively affecting me, I quit, knowing that it was the best thing to do. Within months, my anger (and some of my depression) had subsided, allowing me to turn over a new leaf right in time for the new school year. Ever since I quit playing Tanki during every free moment of my life, I’ve only played around ten battles, and I’m here to say it was one of the hardest but best decisions I’ve ever made. If you’re ever feeling the same way, taking a week or two off won’t hurt, but rather give you some time away from the game where you can learn to love it again. 6. Start another account. Have you ever wanted to try Shaft after reading expert guides about it? How about a do-over on your embarrassing 0.01 K/D? This can easily be solved by creating another account. Power through the low ranks using the dream combination you’ve always wanted! 7. Get a friend to join. This time, I don’t mean Tanki friend, but rather in real life friend. Use a low account (or create a new one for more fun), and ask your friend to do the same. For optimal enjoyment, don’t forget to use a communication platform like Discord to initiate a voice chat or play together in real life. Sit back, chill, and enjoy the rush of emotions released as you and your friend play one of your favorite games together! 8. Explore the Tanki Online Forum. Well, if you’re reading this, then I suppose you’re already doing exactly what I told you. During a boring time, why not browse around the forum, get to know a few others who like (or hate) the game like you, and post a few posts? If you’ve got an idea that you think Tanki needs to implement right now, head on to the Ideas and Suggestions Forum. If you want to rant about your opinions on the updates, the AWS and Game Discussions are open for your use. And of course, to cure boredom, head right to the Off-Topic Discussion or play a few Forum Games! Still bored? The nooks and crannies of the forum hold a great amount of conversation and information both helpful and interesting. 9. Get to know your Tanki friends. I’m sure if you have joined the community Discord (or various smaller Tanki Discord servers), you’ve found a few people that you really enjoy talking to. So why not get to know them better in your downtime? I’ve talked to a lot of people in Tanki, and many of them have helped me through lonely times or provided support for me that I’m eternally grateful for. Sometimes, just talking to those friends can brighten up your day, so why not reach out to someone who loves the same game that you do? 10. Change up your gameplay environment! Most of us just play Tanki in the same place, similar times each time. And the rest of us don’t play Tanki. This routine can be a positive, familiar aspect of your day, but if going to the same desk and turning on the game client becomes a chore, find a way to set the scene with something new and subtle. Sometimes, these small things have a huge impact on how you perceive gameplay. If you have no idea where to start, I’ve got a few ways to change up your normal. Instead of sitting in a confined place, play in a relaxed place, like a beanbag chair or bed. (and vice versa) Mute the Tanki sounds and start up some music! Right now, I’m stuck on listening to this diverse playlist that evokes the best memories one could wish for. If the varying tempos don’t suit you, then I’d recommend listening to just one song, perhaps Tattoos Together by Lauv, an upbeat piece that primes your mood for the brutal Tanki battle that lies ahead. Try playing in a different location (say, the local Starbucks or during free time in class) and watch all those pairs of confused eyes wonder what you are even doing. And that’s ten different ways to change up Tanki for you. These are just suggestions, not strict guidelines, so feel free to mix and match some of these methods. Of course, if you’ve got an idea to share with your fellow tankers, leave it down below! _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Hopefully, these strategies will help you win your next battle against boredom. Next up: conquering boredom in real life!

Is it the new hull Ares? Is it a new game mode? Nope, it's the update that's about to change everything equipment-related in Tanki: the modification switch. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Whether you’re angrily cursing Tanki or praising the developers at this moment, it’s all for a common reason: the recent modification switch. It's pretty safe to say that this is the next big update after the birth of the Matchmaking System and Overdrives. If you're not already familiar with this update, here's a quick introduction. Previously, equipment had a total of four modifications: M0, M1, M2, and M3. Now, instead of having a total of four modifications, there are three more, for a grand total of seven, spread out along the ranks for much more in-game fun. Each one of the new modifications (except Mk7, which covers the previous M3 to M4) accounts for around half of a previous one, intended to increase equipment balance in gameplay. For more detailed information about the Mk modification unlock ranks and prices, please check out this wiki article. Once you’re done reading, let’s find out how beneficial this update actually is. To start off, the first and most important question is: will this update bring along the balance of gameplay nearly every tanker has longed for? Game Balance + Increased Balance in Lower/Middle Rank Battles. This update is intended to make battles in the lower and middle ranks much fairer. Back then, a Recruit could enter a battle and be burnt to a crisp by an M0 10/10 Firebird before he could even learn how to shoot. Now, the Firebird is restricted to an Mk1 or maybe a low Mk2, which can give the newbie a bit of time to escape or fend for himself. Sure, it’s not much, but when it gets to the Sergeant ranks, where completely unupgraded M0s face off against stacked M1s, the update will even the odds a bit, giving the new players hope for the future of their Tanki career. The introduction of much fairer lower/middle rank games will likely retain more players. While the equipment balance will keep the domination of buyers at bay, skill still matters, though. And if anyone has a bit of extra skill, it would be nice to lend some to me here with ten left thumbs… - Not an Immediate “Cure-all” to Game Balance. While it’s true that the game will become more balanced with this update, especially in the lower and middle ranks, it’s not going to happen overnight. At best, it might take a few months for the equipment changes to balance out. These changes likely won’t happen fast enough for frustrated players seeking an instant solution for the unfair advantages buyers (and a select few F2P players like me) have. Honestly, the developers have been working so hard just to achieve more balance, but knowing that it won't really happen, it seems more sensible to have put in gradual patch notes to fix this. Product Kits + Increased Variety. One of the biggest benefits to the game is that there is much more variety in the product kits, with every turret/hull combo in every modification. Instead of waiting for a certain rank just to get that Atlas Kit, the Mk modification kits offer opportunities to buy the ideal combination at any time. + Only Chance to skip Modifications* Previously, product kits were the only way for a humble F2P player to boost their equipment and enhance their experience on the battlefield. However, in recent times, product kits have been dissed for their lack of value (“unlock ranks are not worth the cost”) and the fact that a product kit isn’t really great for protections anymore (only one module instead of three). However, with the new update, one must buy all previous modifications, and most likely, the only chance to skip a modification is through a product kit, saving precious crystals so you can buy me that Blue Sphere one day. - Increased Price/Decreased Discount. While Product Kits have a lot of perks, there's always a way for the game to convince players to say goodbye to their hard-earned crystals. With just a quick glance at the product kits, the price is definitely a bit more than imagined, and there isn't as much of a discount as before. For example, a Mk6 kit costs just around the neighborhood of a M3 kit from before the update. - Turbulent, if unpredictable, Kit Rotation. The new kit rotation goes quickly, changing once per twelve hours. On one hand, it's good if you want to get a kit (as long as you or someone else knows the rotation), but at first, it will be a confusing and annoying system. *Not confirmed for sure, but it seems to be going this way. Overall Value + Equipment Update = Equipment Upgrade. Some equipment was actually upgraded a full modification. If you happened to have a M2 10/10, congratulations, you have earned yourself a Mk7 a few ranks early. If you've got a good M1 10/10, it could go up to as far as a Mk6. But overall, not everyone capitalized on this benefit. For me, I didn't upgrade as wisely as I would've wished, so while I did get some good upgrades, it was mostly downgrades from that point on. I've made a chart of my equipment conversions, and it seems to show a pretty obvious trend of late-unlocking modifications going up while early-unlocking modifications go down. The main plus of this is that many of the medium-rank unlocking equipment I have fully microupgraded have moved up a modification. Otherwise, its just the usual ups and downs. If you're wondering what your equipment has trasnformed to, use this link to find out the true conversion. - Too Many Modifications/Upgrades. It’s going to be a hassle to upgrade and buy new modifications, especially if you’re trying to collect a few extra pieces of equipment in case your investment in the invincible Mammoth falls through. Each modification brings ten new microupgrades, which can turn into crystal siphons if you decide to quit on your favorite hull a few upgrades in. Sighh, only 69 more upgrades to go... - The Price Hike, Volume I. Well, Tanki told the players, “There will be no price hike.”, but a quick scan at the wiki page shows a significant amount of price hikes over drops, which is easily going to be a hot topic that tankers will be soon complaining about. A more detailed scan of the values tells the depressing story for tankers. After some light number crunching, there's an average increase of 8879 crystals per hull from Mk1 to Mk7 (as opposed to M0 to M3) and a whopping 19807 crystals per turret. No player will be happy about that. Poor Marcus, his PM inbox will be flooded with mail… - The Price Hike, Volume II. Tanki found a way to openly proclaim a price hike by bundling many of them with smaller price drops, but they’re also included a secret way to siphon your hard-earned crystals. If you would like to buy Ares Mk7 (when it comes out, of course) at Legend rank, you’re going to have to fork over almost twice as many crystals as before to buy all the previous modifications just to get an Mk7 you could once get as an M3. Welp, no one will like it at all. With all the grievances against the extra crystal cost, Marcus and Cedric will easily be drowning in angry fan mail. Verdict While this update will bring along some much-needed game balance, expect the differences to be small at first and the shift gradual, unlike the Overdrives update, which saw a drastic change in gameplay within days. With this update comes several benefits, including a new set of more useful product kits, the disadvantages far outweigh the advantages with this update. No tanker wants their crystals spent faster than they can earn them, but with the numbers that they’ve released, it only seems that it’s heading down that sad path. The truth is, players often have a stigma about Tanki updates, believing that each new release brings along bad news. Of course, being a tanker who has experienced the introduction of Matchmaking (and its terrible aftermath) firsthand, it seems impossible to view a change as the developers throwing lemons at the community. For many of the players, it’s just yet another big update to mess around and convince them to quit. However, that’s not always the case. The developers have been working hard to get this update done, and even if it does bring the doom that we’ve all imagined, let’s try to appreciate the work that they’ve done for the game. They, like us, also want the best for the game, but what the developers view it as might be different from what players think of it as. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ While this update might be one of the most dreaded changes to Tanki, it's here to usher in a new generation of fairer gameplay. Before you jump to conclusions and label this update the worst one after Matchmaking, go out and give it a try!

Wait, I am PR. When is lunch again?

A billionaire can be defined very differently across the countries - for some, the change in your pocket you have renders you a billionaire! Do you have a dollar to spare so I can buy something for lunch?

Words are easily interchangeable, use the thesaurus if you are ever confused. Do you enjoy writing?

The art of avoiding a question is trained through extensive experience. Is it better to lie to answer a question or avoid the question altogether?

Approved. I am not a big fan of poems (due to a traumatic experience that I've been through at the ripe old age of thirteen), but this one had a very chill feel that also brought back a stream of memories about this game. A note though, it is a bit under word count, please either make the poems longer or post multiple poems to meet word count. Edits:

Approved. Great work on this article, definitely captures my frustratons towards the Tanki Online Forum. (though this time you didn't have to wait a month for the articles to be approved, just a few hours, so you've got to cherish the blessing bestowed upon yourself hehe) I really enjoyed the descriptions and the fact that I could relate to this article so much, can't wait for another article or possibly a sequel! Edits:

Hulls are crucial to a ship. If they fail, well, that's very sad. What's the difference between a ship and a boat?

Approved. Awesome work! I would've laughed, but it would have been quite rude while we were discussing the potential war and it would probably go poorly in US History (a phone call to home would not be ideal at this time). You nail the humorous style that I've always wanted to perfect. If there's a sequel coming, I can't wait to read it! Edits:

Approved. Excellent article, had me laughing from the first word to the ending. Excellent descriptions, reminds me of my Tanki Personalities article a while back (but only the rageworthy players hehe). I can't wait for more new content from you! Edits:

Well, just today I recalculated my grade and I ended up with a 94.245% overall in AP Calculus BC Do you like school?

Approved. Hrmm... @Im_a_tanki_master, that name sounds very familiar... Glad to see you're back on the forum so maybe now you can answer my application for the Fire & Wasp club I that I made when I still played! Excellent interview by the way, it provided a good amount of insight about one of the most intriguing lower-rank forumers: Zekrom, though it's sad to see him leave. Hopefully, he shall make a return on the forum on his new account! Edits:

Hello, you have poked a mult and I am now at your service. Approved. Another excellent episode of The Leaky Mult left me laughing and wishing I took up humor. I thoroughly enjoyed this issue. Each article imparted the power of uncontrollable laughter which also scared my classmates and resulted in me being called a crackhead. I can't wait for another fresh release of this dearly loved series! Edits: