Step 1. Open shard container. Step 2. Open Shop. Buy kit (Cuz my Magnum was Mk4 and Titan was Mk3). Step 3. Equip cool items. Enjoy highest GS in my life. Step 4. Cry because poor.

"Finally!!!! The WiFi is back!" I screamed. I think I woke my mom up because I could hear her grumbling. It sounded very much like "why did the neighbours let their dog out", but I merely shrugged. I was too euphoric to even bother - the WiFi was back. After a few swift, well-placed jabs at my keyboard, Tanki Online was now loading on my laptop's screen. Loading screens are abominations of all games. You cannot help but look away and then look back at the annoying "Loading..." sign again. However, this time I was very restless - I couldn't bear to look back at the screen unless the game actually loaded. I tried to get distracted. By God's grace, a worthy distraction came my way. I looked out my room's window just in time to see an eagle majestically swooping down upon what looked like my neighbours' pet guinea pig (don't ask me what it was doing outside), but then disaster struck: A baseball bat came flying out of nowhere and the eagle suddenly decided that the guinea pig was too malnourished, perhaps, and promptly flew away. Baseball bats that come hurtling towards you should never be messed with, and the eagle seemed to know this. I heard the boy next door shout something in relief, and the baseball bat which he had thrown at the eagle lay forgotten in their lawn. Now that the distraction had passed, I glanced back at my screen: the word "LOADING" stared me in the face, as if challenging me to a staring contest. Even the tips flashing below that ugly word weren't exciting enough. For the second time, I looked out my window. Nothing seemed interesting enough to catch my eye. The majestic eagle had vanished, and the guinea pig was still running around on our neighbours' lawn. After around ten minutes of continuous loading, the screen flickered and turned grey. Ideally, I should have felt excited at this; at least the game wasn't loading anymore. But the grey screen following the loading screen implied that the game intended to load a bit more - my rank, crystals, and tank had still not materialized. Bah, another ten minutes of boredom, I thought. YouTube was probably waiting to be opened, for I got so bored that my hand automatically clicked on the necessary buttons and it popped open. I was grateful - spending ten minutes watching how a cute cat sits on its owner's phone was far more productive than attempting to win a staredown battle against the Grey Screen of Doom. When I finally switched tabs and opened Tanki, I was relieved to find that everything had managed to load properly. The daily missions were luckily easy - two were "collect supply boxes" and one was "capture 3 flags". CTF and ASL were my favorite modes anyway, so I was destined to enjoy my time. I clicked on the <Play> button and the boring wait started once again. "To YouTube!" I murmured. At last, I heard the exhilarating sounds of a raging battle and switched over to Tanki. I have a tendency to speak to myself out loud while playing any game, so this is how my conversation with myself (and the laptop) went: "Bruh. Massacre SGE. Imma head out, thank you very much." *Leaves battle. Clicks on Play button again.* "WHAT! Archipelago CP? Does Tanki even want me to play today?" *Leaves battle. Clicks on Play button again.* "Um... not again! I hate Archipelago!" *Leaves battle. Clicks on Play button again.* "Whoa, Kungur ASL! Fun! But wait... aaaaaah, I have the no-damage bug! Hang on, let me place a mine..." *Presses 6 instead of 5. A notification flashes: "Neil_Noob has dropped the Gold Box"* "Aaaaaaaaaaah my Gold Box!!!!!!" I wailed; but before I could reach it, someone caught my precious gilded jewel... my Gold Box... *Rage-quits battle. Throws pillow on the floor in anger. Calms down slightly. Clicks on Play button again.* "Ah, Red Alert CTF. Not bad. Oh dear, three players with 9999 GS! Oh, never mind, they're on my team." A Firebird-Wasp had somehow managed to sneak up behind me, and I realized it a bit too late. Spraying flames all over my poor Magnum-Hunter, the enemy Firebird left me to my fate. The burning effect did its job, and my tank turned into a rusted piece of scrap metal. "Oh noob Firebird... can't even turn its turret..." I respawned beside an ally Shaft-Titan, merrily camping behind a wall. "Eh, noob camper... no skills at all..." I muttered, even though that Shaft was steadily getting kills. I drove towards the centre of the map and looked about for any small tanks. I found one on my left near the bridge, and I skillfully sent a well-aimed Magnum shell at the unsuspecting Firebird-Wasp. "Hah! Gotcha, you little sneak!" I screamed in joy, for it turned out to be the same Firebird-Wasp that had killed me a short while ago. "Now go cry! Can't even turn turret..." I said a bit too loudly and shook my head. "Neil!" came a shout. "Neil, what are you doing?" Uh oh. Mom. "Uhh.... I -" I began, but I saw a Gauss-Wasp speeding away from my team's base, bearing our flag. I cut my reply short and focused intently on the rapidly zig-zagging Gauss-Wasp. Two seconds later, that tank was dead - killed by a Magnum shell sent at it by me. "Neil?!" "Yeah, Mom! I'm... I'm uh... I'm studying!" I yelled back. This should suffice, I thought. Moms loved their children when they studied. Plus, I was anyway studying how Magnum worked in HTML5. "Studying?! What are you studying?" said my mom, with a hint of suspicion in her voice. I was busy aiming at a troublesome Striker, and hearing my mom's voice again (despite having told her that I was studying) irritated me. "I'm studying... um... physics, mom!" I said. I was right... in a sense. Using Magnum does require some physics. "Physics?!" she yelled. "Yeah, physics! Um... projectile motion! Motion under gravity!" I said adding some technical terms which would hopefully satisfy her. "I see..." she said, but her voice seemed unusually loud. She was right behind me. * Presently, my mom was busy finding the angle by which she had to twist my ear so that I would yelp out loud at a hundred decibels. "Aaaaaah, Mom, what are you doing?!" I screamed. "I'm studying, Neil..." she replied through gritted teeth. "Studying?! Ouch!" "Yeah... I'm studying physics. I'm testing the tensile strength of your ear. We'll also test your right ear. Maybe I should get a decibel-meter to obtain a relation between the angle of twisting and the loudness of your bellow." * After my mom was done studying (ouch), I sat down on my desk again. My ears were red and sore, my eyes were watery, and my throat was hurting. Despite my condition, I could clearly hear some commotion in the house next door - it seemed that the boy was in trouble. "Did you leave the guinea pig out in the lawn?!" I heard the mother scream. Even though it wasn't my mother's scream, I winced. I was hearing a Mother torturing a fellow Human (yeah, you can consider Mothers as a different species or perhaps even Monsters) - it was too much to bear. I closed my eyes and covered my ears tenderly - I did not wish to witness any more Human-Monster conflicts. That night, I stayed awake in bed for a long time. I was thinking of forming a Society for Child Welfare and Mother (Monster) Incarceration when my brain finally succumbed to thoughts of Tanki Online. My ambitious plans were blown to bits by Magnum shells...

Happy *Old* Year

Of course they work! If you wish to get rejected...

Thanks Sacrifice! ;)

I'd love to have a Battle of Crusaders in MM-like conditions. It would be really fun when everyone starts shooting icicles... Anyone up for it?

Congratulation Time! What a pleasant surprise, Signal! Congratz on becoming an Event Helper! Congratz to StealthMasterX and OufaGold on passing their LATAM Discord Mod candidacies! Congratz to Edu_Gamer on joining the Discord Moderators team as a candidate!

Whatever it is, ultimately you don't want it and you regret your action. You simply have to ask for a refund, and the story has to be "believable and humorous". How will you attempt to convince Customer Service? I personally think that one cannot convince Customer Service by saying, "I intentionally bought this item and now I don't need it". ?

I wondered where to share this video... then this topic popped up...

In a group with Le Admin De Newspaper (not kaisdf, unfortunately... ?) I killed two Juggernauts, and PR killed one! T'was fun! (Me: Shaft-Crusader. PR: Gauss-Hopper)

Excerpts from a convo today... I'd love to ping a few people but they aren't exactly "few"... hopefully they'll see this!

Hmm... that's interesting... I think that's quite possible. But the inventory must be getting updated after every container opening, at least in the real servers.

Fun battle with @Initiate and @NoDestroyWithTurret!

Paralyzing will be more like stunning, whereas cryo will apply the freezing status effect. They have to be different.

Beat this 5 container opening ?

Congratulations to @FTL and @Levi on becoming Battle Moderators!!! Such a great achievement!

Please enter your responses in this Google Form. You have time until 29th January.

@Hisshan I'm deeply humbled by your kind words. Helping players is my duty. Thank you very much for your patience and understanding! There's one thing you should know about the Forum: please avoid posting the same thing more than once. I got notified once when you quoted me above. Next time please remember that quoting notifies the player you have quoted. You do not need to tag or mention (like I have done at the top of this post) them again. Thanks!

@Hisshan my dear friend, calm down a bit! The Google Form has 5 types of yeses: you just have to check one of them! By clicking on any one of them, you are agreeing to the contest's rules. Read the question carefully: it says, "Do you agree to the rules of this contest?" Then read the answers carefully. You have been given no option to disagree! Which means, all the options are yeses and you must agree if you participate! Notice the red asterisk on the question; the Google Form won't let you proceed further unless you click on one option. It's a compulsory field. I can see that you are new to Forum contests. Your confusion is understandable. It is a good thing that you reached out to us. Just remember that the five yeses are a joke, and you are supposed to click on only one of them (you won't be able to check all of them). Feel free to ask us again if you have more doubts. Have a great day (or night)!

Approved! In chapter three, dupuy gives us a peek into the daily life of the soldiers. As the Grande Armée advances further towards Russia, the soldiers get a short break from their mundane routine in the form of an imperial inspection by none other than Napoleon himself. As far as the plot is concerned, this chapter doesn't have anything overly extravagant or exciting - but it does help the story progress. This piece could have been longer, dupuy; and in my opinion, this was a good opportunity to describe the daily routine of the soldiers of the Grande Armée in a slightly more detailed way. Edits: A few typos, minor rephrases. By the way, thank you for adding the spoiler in the end explaining all the French phrases used!

Not really... You're supposed to post here only if the Forum is dead. ;)

Have you ever felt that the current Helper Groups aren't adequate? We don't seem to have enough Promokod Generators, or Troll Trollers, or Cookie Designers... wait - these positions do not even exist! That's outrageous! There's no helper group that can do these crucial tasks! We need more Helper positions! Well, here's your chance! Design a Helper position which you feel is absolutely necessary in Tanki, and be as creative & humorous as possible! ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ The following is all the information you need to know about the contest: Task: You need to create an imaginary and funny Tanki Helper position! The description of the position should ideally include things like the job, requirements/eligibility, and benefits (refer to the Helper Recruitment portal if you want). Submit your entries as a reply to this topic itself. Word limit: 150-200 words (anything above 200 words will be immediately disqualified). Your entry can have less than 150 words, but not more than 200 words. Your goal is to "design a Helper" and describe the position in a humorous way. Remember, the word limit is small, so organize your entry accordingly. Rules: Please enter from only ONE account. One entry per participant. Crystals will be awarded to the winners on the account they entered from. The Helper position you design should be Tanki related. Use your own creativity - don't copy the ideas in the introduction or in the example below. Naturally, no plagiarism. Game Rules must be followed at all costs, so no insulting/flaming/provoking/profanity. Criteria: It is important for the participants to know what they will be judged upon. Here is the criteria: General Writing ability. Ability to express in the given limit. Humor. Grammatical evaluation (I'll be a bit lax on this and use this criterion only for tiebreakers) How Tanki-related your entry is. Example: Prizes: First place: 60,000 Crystals , 6 Containers . Second place: 50,000 Crystals , 4 Containers . Third place: 40,000 Crystals , 2 Containers . Consolation Prize: 25,000 Crystals . Deadline: The contest will start on: 26/02/21 -Topic open (Accepting Entries) The contest will end on: 12/03/21 -Topic closed at 12:00 UTC (Stop Accepting Entries) *Winners will be announced within one week of the end of the contest. Status: CLOSED ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Remember to have fun! Feel free to contact me in case you have any doubts!

Enjoy!

Brilliant!